Author’s Note: This story is set in an alternate universe, in an imaginary town and country, and during an ambiguous time period.

Technically, Yunho was back home. 

He remembered the long, winding dirt driveway. The large barn to the left of the property. The willow tree that sat in front of the house that he could always count on seeing to tell him how close he was to ‘home.’ The rolling acres of corn and pumpkin patch that was always there around this time of the year. He knew it all. He grew up there. 

He remembered the long summer days of completing chores around the farm, riding his bike down this dirt road to go to town and to school, the cats that would run to him when he’d come home from school and follow him around the house, the nights camping in the backyard, and the long work days during the peak autumn season as they set up for the autumn and Halloween attractions. He remembered his grandparents: the kind smiles, warm hugs, and heaping plates of hot, delicious food. This was their home, not his, really. Not even his mother’s. Definitely not hers.

He just grew up here.

Here was his hometown, Green Meadows. When he did the Math, which he did on the long, dreadful and awkward drive up here, he realized that he had spent most of his life in this town, at his grandparents’ home. 

This was where his family had taken roots for many generations now. Some tried to run away, letting their rebellious and action-attracted personalities lead them to farther, more exciting places, but they always found their way back here. Like he had, and like his mother would in six months.

This small, dreary town and this house should be considered as ‘home’ by him, truthfully. But he didn’t see it that way. He could not see it that way. He simply did not feel welcome or feel as if he was home.

And this feeling had nothing to do with the house or his grandparents, but everything to do with the town and the new person he now was.

Home was simply not here. 

He did not really have a home, which was a fact he had come to terms with in the last week. 

His mother telling him his father would be coming to take him home still did not sit right with him, because the word ‘home’ felt inappropriate. Yes, he grew up here, and maybe six years ago he might have considered Green Meadows as home. However, then he had been…innocent. Different. A small, stupid child. He was different now. He had grown far beyond Green Meadows. He had changed. His nativity was no longer. He was different. 

Blinking hard, Yunho sighed and briefly closed his eyes and rested his head against the moving car’s window. Since his mother had told him of the new chapter in his life, his world had started to spin and even now, a few minutes from everything becoming final, it was still spinning. 

Just a year. One single, measly year. He could do it.

Soon he would be a legal adult and he would have all the freedom in the world to find a home. His home. It would be far away from this place. From all the memories. These darn memories! And he would finally be…content? Happy?

He opened his eyes and started out the window. He missed his mom.

Yunho believed that this probably was what his mother had been thinking when she packed up and left for the first time, after high school, only to have to come back a few weeks after when she realized she had left with a surprise gift – Yunho – and what she had felt when she woke him up in the middle of the night and told him they were leaving. She was tired of being at the end of the world, doing nothing with her life, watching life happen and not living. She wanted to live. She wanted everything. And she had packed a few of her clothes and woke up Yunho. Eyes ablaze with zeal, kissing his round cheeks, caressing the back of his small, rough hands, she promised him excitement beyond his imagination. And away they went. 

Unfortunately for them, it had not been the final time they would be in Green Meadows. She had believed then that she had finally escaped this town, this hellhole as she was apt to tell him every chance she got. She was wrong. 

When he was eleven, he hadn’t seen it. But after half a decade away, he had started to consider Green Meadow a hellhole, too. He wondered if he could break the cycle and finally be free of Green Meadow. Though he was not sure if he wanted to be free of his grandparents.

The only bright spot here was his grandparents.

It wasn’t always so.

There used to be a boy with smooth ivory skin that would turn olive during the long, hot summer days, a boy with high cheekbones and a wide smile filled with innocence and happiness; then, as were the follies of youth, he had betrayed him. Now the only good thing in this tiny town at the edge of the world was just his grandparents. His stomach promptly tightened itself into extra tight knots.

He had tried his hardest not to think of the past, but how could he not when he was back here. Seeing the town he thought he had left behind forever remaining unchanged. It was hard when the ice cream parlor he used to frequent when he was nine was still standing in the exact same shape.

The man’s voice came far in the distance, as if he was talking under water. “Yunho. Yunho.”

He startled and looked up at the man that was seated in the driver’s seat, staring back at him and blinked at him. The man was no stranger. Well, he was not supposed to be. He was his father. “Are you coming out?”

He smiled at Yunho. It was small and tired. The smile lacked luster and sincerity. He didn’t blame him. They were strangers. Even when he lived here, they had been strangers. He had lived with his grandparents. His maternal grandparents. The same ones he would be living with from now on.

“Yeah,” he said in a whisper, turning his head to take in the house: a two story country style house with a large porch that stretched around the front and sides.

He saw his grandmother.

She was swiftly making her way down the steps, the front door left open in her rush to get out in the driveway before Yunho got out of the old, beat up truck.

She looked exactly the same as he last remembered. The same long gray hair which she had rolled back into a low hanging bun at the base of her neck, and the same small frame and round face that reminded him of his mother, and the same billion watt smile. That was a smile he could never, ever forget or find an imitation of. Ever.

Yeah, so maybe he was wrong and had a home. He was a teenager after all. No, he was only human. He was prone to change his mind. But, he loved them. He loved her. She was his home. Seeing her and the excitement on her face brought him to reality and made him face a few emotions he had been trying to suppress for a few years now. He felt the surge of love, sadness, and excitement all rolling into an ugly knot that made his throat hurt and the back of his eyes burn. 

Getting out of the car, he made for her. They met halfway. She opened her arms and he swore her smile could light up the gray October sky, if any smile could.

“Oh my. My baby, Yunho,” she said, squeezing him into her small frame. She was stronger than her five foot-one frame implied. He was locked into what Yunho could only describe as heaven. He felt his brain melting and all the tension and anger and melancholy inside of him reduced to nothing. With it came a crashing wave of pain. He was here and his mother wasn’t. The only adult in his life who hugged him like this since they moved away from here.

“Momma,” he muttered, letting her caress his back and press kisses on the side of his face. He hugged her back. He had been in need of a few hugs. “I’ve missed you, too, pumpkin-cheeks.”

He laughed and held her tighter, not even thinking about how he was acting like a toddler and not the dignified, angsty teenager he promised to be for this upcoming year. “You and your nicknames.”

His momma laughed. “Baby, how I have missed you,” she said, running her small, calloused hands up and down his back. “I thought you…”she stopped and sniffed, but she was still smiling. Releasing him from the hug, she held him at arm length and inspected him.  “I am sorry, baby, your grandfather ran out to the store to–”

“It’s fine,” he said, squeezing her into another hug. His world felt solid and real the more he was touching her and breathing her fragrance. She smelled of herbs and spices, and clean linens. She perpetually smelled like autumn. She smelled of good memories, love, happiness and warmth. She  also smelled of a well cooked home meal. 

She had been cooking. His stomach rumbled. He remembered that he hadn’t had anything to eat since yesterday morning. He had merely picked at the food his father had bought. He hadn’t been hungry, but now he was famished.

She heard the loud sound. Pushing him back, she smiled up at him and cupped his cheeks. “I have been cooking and baking all day long, baby. I will not allow you to remain this thin!” she said, her dark brown eyes running over his sinewy, six feet three inches frame.

He laughed and allowed her to grab his arm and steer him toward the house, leaving his father by the running car with his luggage in the back.

“I am not skinny, momma.”

She reached over and patted his firm stomach, shook her head and tutted. “Not in my book.”

He only laughed.

He would not argue with her. He still remembered how great of a cook she was. It had been awhile since he had had a home cooked meal that was not done by him and half burned. His mother had acquired his momma’s cooking skills through careful teaching, but she hardly ever cooked. That had been reserved for a few special occasions, like his birthday. 

He felt a bulge logged in this throat. He pushed the sour thought of his mom away.

Walking up the porch and into his manman’s warm house, the smell of deliciously cooked food swarmed him and almost sent him diving to his knees. And for the first time since his mother had told him that he was going back ‘home,’ and that his father would be there to get him in a few days, he felt warm and a slither of peace.

She let go of him. Three purring cats walked up to her, rubbed against her legs, vying for her attention as they curiously peaked up at Yunho from a safe distance, analyzing him.

Leaning over, his grandmother scratched the head of all three cats, stood up and made her way to the brightly lit kitchen. 

Yunho smiled at the cats, but made sure to not scare them by reaching down to pet them – even though the desire was strong. Two of them he remembered, but they’ve probably forgotten him by now he reasoned, his chest pinching with an uncomfortable sensation. The third was a new cat his momma had gotten after he left, because he did not recognize it. He loved cats and had always loved his momma’s cats. 

The cats gave him one final look and followed after their beloved human.

“Your grandfather will be back soon. He hadn't thought you would be here so soon.” She stopped talking to look back at him, smiled and waved. “Come here, love. Don’t be shy. Let me make you a plate.”

The kitchen was large and filled with herbs and indoor plants. The two large windows that tended to be open all summer long were closed. The first thing he noticed was the steaming, delicious spread on the small, wooden table. It was something. His stomach hurt, his hunger coming out in full force. Still, she had things cooking on the stove. It smelled heavenly.

She noticed his gaze. She smiled and said, laughter evident in her tone, “Are you hungry?”

“A little peckish,” he admitted.

“A little?” She laughed. “That was a full on rumble I heard a moment ago,” she said teasingly, walking toward the mug-tree. “After such a long drive, I knew you would be. Can I get you something warm to drink, pumpkin?”

He felt the familiar ball of emotions slide and lodged in his throat. Clearing it, he shoved his fingers through his hair, giving his fingers something to do, and gave her a lopsided smile. “I should go grab my bags first.”

His father was probably still outside waiting on him.

“Nonsense.” She waved his suggestion away. “You’re hungry. Come. Sit.” She bustled around the kitchen. “Would you like a cup of hot chocolate? It’s been getting so cold lately.” She laughed. “I am not sure if it’s the weather or if I am just old.”

He chuckled. “It’s just cold.”

“You know,” she said, busying her hands as she poured him chocolate in a deep green ceramic mug. It looks like her handiwork. “I’ve spent all my life here. I used to be able to put up with this cold. Now, it’s a different story.” She chuckled. “Baby, don’t stay rooted there. Come here.” She pulled a chair for him next to the place-mat she had set out for him.

Before he could move, the door opened. Yunho looked behind him and saw his grandfather walking in first with plastic shopping bags in his hand and his father right after him with his paltry one suitcase and one travel bag. That’s all his life had amounted to. 

The graying old man smiled, his eyes lightning up. “Yunho! My boy.”

Yunho couldn’t help but return the smile.

They made it difficult to be bitter.