5 years later, on September 25, 2027, 4 hours before the wedding starts  

 

"Can you believe it? Shiah didn't even think of sending us an invitation, we're still guests." Jiho rants on Yewon while tying her shoes.

 

The younger scoffed at her and lightly hit her arm. "Hey, don't blame them that you woke up late today." Jiho pouted and once she was done with her shoes, she walked to their mirror as she combed her hair.

 

Jiho and Yewon are preparing to go to the wedding starting in 4 hours. Jiho woke up late, as usual.. and Yewon's been telling her to move faster since 30 minutes ago. 

 

"And ya, don't be like that. I'm sure she did." Yewon reminds her, Jiho chuckles and shakes her head at Yewon defending their friend. 

 

"Yeah, glad there's Mimi to remind her."

 

  5 years ago, After the final examinations in their Summer Classes in 3rd year  

 

Yubin knew Mihyun was different. She never thought she'd ever be rushing to Shiah's ex's house just to confront someone who hurt Shiah. This time, it's different. Yubin knew she had to do this, she was the reason why Mihyun did it. She has to come to Mihyun's apartment to confront her.

 

She knocked on her classmates' door repeatedly. It's 8 o'clock in the morning and she's aware it's still too early but this can't wait. She has to do this now. Yubin notes to herself that she'll just apologize to Hyojung, Mihyun, and Jiho later on for coming so early in the morning.

 

"Why would you do that to her?" Yubin--with her face a little sweaty from all the running, asked as soon as the door flew open and she saw Mihyun's sleepy face.

 

She thought Mihyun would close the door again but the girl only lightly scratched her eyes and sighed before answering her question, straight to the point. 

 

"I can't love someone who's already been loved for 7 years."

 

Yubin's hands balled into fists. She's angry. Angry at herself. Mad at everything that's happening. But she's not blaming anyone else, just herself. Right now, all she wants is to make Shiah feel better and Mihyun.. must be the only person who can do it this time. Yubin needs her help. 

 

"Mihyun.. If that's what you're worried about, then forget about all that I said. Shiah deserves your love. My feelings don't matter here, Mihyun!"

 

She doesn't care anymore. If it means that Mihyun and Shiah have to get back together for Shiah to feel better then Yubin would do everything for that to happen. She's.. desperate, desperate to make her happy. 

 

"No. You don't understand, Yubin." Mihyun tells her. The taller girl held onto the doorknob and opened the door wider. 

 

Yubin shook her head, she knew she understood clearly what happened. Mihyun broke up with Shiah and now Shiah's gone. "She has not talked to me about what happened since you broke up with her." 

 

"She will talk to you. Give her time. You out of all people know how to mend her and comfort her the most." Mihyun assured her, voice sounding upset and Yubin felt that. 

 

"She said she'll leave the apartment." Yubin feels guilty. She can't help it, knowing that the reason why Shiah's crying is because of her. "And.. And I couldn't stop her." She added.

 

Yubin honestly doesn't know why she's here. Was she planning to get Shiah and Mihyun back together by begging on Mihyun? Yes, but at the same time, she also needed someone to talk to. Seunghee and Yewon didn't know about her talk with Mihyun and the only one Yubin can talk to is apparently, Kim Mihyun. 

 

Mihyun opened the door wider for Yubin to get in. She saw Hyojung and Jiho walking out of their rooms, and must have been awakened from them talking. Mihyun mouthed get in so she did. She sat on their couch set, ashamed of being here too early in the morning. Pretty sure Mihyun had already told Jiho and Hyojung by now. Yubin contemplates whether to apologize now for bothering their dorm or after all of this is done.. if it will ever be.

 

"What else did she say?" Mihyun asked. Yubin ignored Hyojung and Jiho's glances because soon after, the two began cooking in the kitchen to keep themselves busy. 

 

Yubin closed her eyes for a moment, head looking back to all the things Shiah said last night, it was painful to recall.

 

"She said.. she can't take it anymore."

 

Mihyun let out a sigh as she massaged her temples. Yubin noticed she wasn't the only one with teary eyes. Mihyun's just the same as her. 

 

"She won't leave, Yubin," Mihyun mumbled and sat next to her. 

 

Yubin immediately shook her head, immediately wiped the tears about to flow from her eyes with her hands still shaking from panic when she woke up. "She left the apartment when I was asleep."

 

It all happened too fast. All that happened felt so new. This is the first time Shiah had a breakup this bad. This is the first time she woke up in the morning, in the past seven years, that she doesn't know where Shiah went.

 

"I-I don't know why she doesn't want my comfort. I told you.. you're different. This is the first time she's done something like this after breaking up."

 

Yubin never had a hard time comforting Shiah. She knew exactly how to make her smile. She'd done this a lot of times and she thought she was done mastering it. 

 

  Highschool, Senior Year  

 

Yubin likes it when Shiah smiles, she loves it when Shiah smiles because of her. One of her favorites was the time they were reviewing for the upcoming CSAT and Shiah asked her to tutor her

 

"So..?" Shiah was grinning confidently at her after Yubin finished checking her answers. 

 

"You did well," Yubin says, setting her pen down on the table as she passed the answer sheets to Shiah.

 

"Just that? I did well and you'll only tell me I did well?" Shiah rolled her eyes at Yubin and ignored the answer sheet in front of her.

 

"Huh- What should I do then!" Yubin laughed and rested her cheek on her palm as she leaned her elbow on the table, staring back at Shiah.

 

"I don't know, buy me food or cook for me, anything cool."

 

Shiah takes the pen on the table and starts drawing a bunny on the corner of the paper sheet. Yubin looked at Shiah's answers again and decided to tease Shiah.

 

"I won't. Your solution is very messy." She said, not leaving her position when she's aware that Shiah will hit her shoulder again.

 

Shiah hits her on her arm. "I don't care, ya. You know, when we're already working, we won't need to write prettily!" Shiah's excuse only made Yubin laugh harder. 

 

"Who told you that? The future you who still doesn't organize her writing?"

 

Again, Shiah rolled her eyes then checked her solution. "Tch, fine. Give me 10 minutes to write this." Shiah turned to the other side of the table and started rewriting her answers.

 

Yubin nodded, the smile on her face hadn't left her lips. "Okay, I'll move on to the next lec-"

 

"I said wait for me! We should study at the same time." Shiah faced her again, smiling wide as she did her writing.

 

She won't forget how good it felt when Shiah smiled when she learned how to solve a very difficult problem on her own after Yubin guided her the first time. She won't forget how many times Shiah smiled at her.

 

Again, Yubin never had a hard time comforting Shiah. The girl has a tremendous amount of serotonin in her body that Yubin wouldn't actually need to make too much effort to make her happy. But this is Shiah, and for Yubin, Shiah deserves so much. Hence, every time she needs comfort, Yubin goes all out. 

 

  That one time Shiah woke up feeling hungry  

 

"Yubin-aah." 

 

She heard Shiah calling her name after some noise of footsteps approaching but she continued sleeping. Yubin thought it was just a light calling from waking up but after a few minutes, Shiah started patting her shoulder. 

 

"Shiah, I'm still sleepy.." Yubin mumbled against her pillow, she felt Shiah shifting positions on her bed. 

 

They stayed up late watching that Stranger Things series on Netflix. Shiah suggested it. She said she wants to try watching that since Yewon kept talking about it. Of course, Yubin agreed to the plan; they'll watch all night with popcorn and just the two of them. It's just that.. Shiah wanted to watch all of it in one go. 

 

"But I'm hungry," Shiah says, cuddling against Yubin.

 

"Food's in the kitchen," Yubin tells her, turning to the other side to avoid Shiah and sleep again. 

 

"You're not in the kitchen." Shiah noticed how she turned around and the next second, Shiah had laid down on top of Yubin and continued to mumble Yubin's name right into her ear.

 

"What the hell, Shiah. Let me sleep." Yubin pushed Shiah back to the side, hugging her pillow again to continue her sleep.

 

After 15 minutes, Yubin's finally awake and she's alone in their room. She stretched her arms, yawning, as she walked out of the room with bare feet and pajamas on. When she looked at the wall clock, it's almost 2 PM. Where's Shiah? 

 

Shiah wasn't in the room, she wasn't in the living room either. Yubin glanced over the kitchen aisle and she was not there as well. As she lightly massaged her temple with her right hand, she opened their main door to check if Shiah's sitting on the bench on the ground floor of the building. That was Shiah's favorite spot at night. 

 

Like what she expected, Shiah's sitting right there, alone and eating a lollipop. Yubin brushed her hair using her fingers as she walked down to the ground floor. There were not many people in the apartment hallways so Shiah looked more lonely.

 

When Yubin reached her spot, she hid her hands in her pajamas' pockets and immediately earned an eye-roll from Shiah. 

 

"What are you doing here?" Shiah asked, popping the lollipop out of , lips clicking that says she's annoyed at Yubin. 

 

Yubin chuckled, poking Shiah's leg using her right foot. "Come on, I'll cook for you."

 

Shiah kicked her foot away. "I don't want to."

 

"Really?" Yubin poked Shiah's ankle using her foot again. Shiah glares at her this time.

 

"Hey." Yubin joins her on the bench, scooting close to Shiah, the latter turning to the other side. "Sorry, okay? You're the one who wanted to marathon the series last night, you know I don't stay up that late that much."

 

But Shiah ignored her.

 

"Hey." Yubin held Shiah's arm, the other retrieved it right away.

 

"Don't touch me," Shiah muttered, Yubin heard the shattering of the lollipop in Shiah's mouth but what other thing she noticed was the slight grin at the corner of Shiah's lips.

 

"Is that a smile?" Yubin poked Shiah's waist.

 

"Ah! You smiled, oh!" She continued teasing the whining Shiah until all that was left was their bright smiles and giggles. 

 

"God, I hate you." Shiah threw Yubin's hand back at her, then got up from her seat to throw the lollipop stick to the trash bin close to them. 

 

"Ya, where are you going?" Yubin laughs at Shiah walking away from her.

 

"You're gonna cook for me, hurry up."

 

  That morning after Shiah cried about her family  

 

"How do you feel now?" Yubin asks, voice still drowsy from just waking up when she felt Shiah shuffling on the bed. The girl didn't respond to her question but got up to brush her hair. 

 

Yubin closed her eyes again and grabbed one of Shiah's pillows to hug it. After a few seconds, Shiah went back to the bed and pulled the pillow from Yubin, only to stick herself in between Yubin's arms. 

 

She didn't mind and let her sleep a bit more, although..

 

In another 30 minutes, Yubin couldn't go back to sleep anymore. Shiah was awake too, but they continued to cuddle like that. This won't do.

 

"Let's go out." Yubin whispers after confirming Shiah's still awake.

 

"Hm?"

 

As she heard Shiah calmly humming, she couldn't help smiling. Yubin slowly pulled away from the hug and cupped Shiah's cheeks as she finally got to see a not crying Shiah again-- although her eyes were still reddish and tired from crying. 

 

"Get some walk, Seunghee said there's a popular store that opened a few days ago nearby," Yubin says, and in an instant, Shiah was hugging her again.

 

"Mhm.. I feel lazy."

 

"Shiah.. you need to get some air, freshen yourself up," Yubin mumbled, chin slightly poking Shiah's forehead. 

 

She didn't get a response from Shiah again in another set of five minutes. Yubin waited, she knew Shiah was thinking about it. And when the girl was done, Shiah finally pulled away from her.

 

"Fine. I'm hungry too."

 

They went out to the streets. Shiah didn't care where they were going, so it'll be like Yubin's the host for this friendship date. As the girl clung to her arm, Yubin texts Seunghee about what she's doing-- and asks her friend where this popular store is. It's already evening though, Seunghee must be busy because she hasn't replied enough to help Yubin.

 

Yubin is a homebody. So being the one to do the directions and plan this whole day out for Shiah is a big deal for her. Seunghee did say Shiah would love it there. The only problem is that they can't find where the store is. 

 

"Did Seunghee tell you where?" 

 

"She said it's in this store lane but we haven't seen it, right?" They walked into a clothing store, not the one Seunghee told them because apparently, they couldn't find it. 

 

"Yeah.. It should be close to the apartment too." 

 

"Wait, let me ask." Yubin removed Shiah's hold on her arm first and stepped towards two girls by the sleepwear section, talking.

 

"Are you sure Mihyun would like this?" The shorter asked the taller one. Yubin waited for the right time to ask them. As the taller girl grinned at the other and didn't speak after, Yubin spoke.

 

"Hi, excuse me. Uh, do you know where this store is? My friend and I had been going back and forth but we couldn't find it." 

 

"Oh, hi! Yes, it's a block away from here but it should be closed today since it's only open every Tuesday to Saturday." The smaller girl with a bright smile told her. 

 

And it's Monday. God, what timing. Yubin sighed sadly and forced a smile at the two. 

 

"Okay, thank you so much." She nodded at them and was about to excuse herself to walk back to Shiah again when the taller girl stopped her.

 

"Wait." Huh? 

 

"Which do you think is cooler? The black and gray one or the white and black striped PJs?" The tall girl asked her. Yubin gazed towards Shiah's direction, a soft sigh of impatience when she saw that Shiah's been frowning. 

 

She immediately checked the two pairs of pajamas the two girls were holding and quickly made a choice. 

 

"The black and gray one. U-uhm, thanks again!" Yubin waved at the two before jogging back to Shiah at the corner. 

 

"What was that?" 

 

"Uh, nothing. Do you not like the clothes here? I'll treat you." Yubin tooks her wallet from her buddy bag, Shiah pushed her wallet back into the zipper and shook her head.

 

"No.. I'm not in the mood to shop." Right. Stupid Yubin. Shiah does not like spending money when her head's preoccupied with her family, even if it's Yubin who'll treat her. 

 

"How about street food then?" Yubin asked, placing her wallet back in her bag and finally, finally, she saw Shiah smiling.

 

They walked out of that store and headed back to the streets nearby their apartment. Shiah and Yubin didn't talk the whole time they were walking, but Yubin never let go of Shiah's hand. 

 

The crescent moon is starting to be seen in the blue skies, not many vehicles pass by so what Yubin heard that moment were only the crickets and some people talking when walking past them. 

 

The next thing Yubin noted to hear was Shiah's light sighing. Her head was quick to turn and check the girl beside her. 

 

"I think I feel better now," Shiah said, Yubin felt the slightly smaller thumb caressing the back of her hand. 

 

"Really?" Yubin glanced at Shiah, swaying their hands together. There it is, Shiah's smile. 

 

"Mhm."

 

"But we haven't eaten yet." Yubin teased, Shiah lightly hit the back of Yubin's hand she was holding and playfully bit her knuckles. "Aw-"

 

"What?" Shiah gave her a look, a look that tells Yubin she can't complain that moment, so she didn't. She's not complaining anyway.

 

"But.. are you really okay now?" She asks again, just to make sure.

 

"No," Shiah replied simply. "But you're here, so I feel better."

 

That's better. 

 

"Okay, let's get you some street food."

 

  When another fling stopped talking to Shiah  

 

The most effort Yubin had done to make Shiah smile was when she got back to their apartment after their year-end holiday break. It's already the 5th of January when Yubin saw Shiah again in their apartment. She had to stay for another two days at her parents'.

 

"Hey." Yubin knocked on their bedroom door. She just came back from her hometown.

 

"Oh, you're home." Home. Shiah referred to their apartment as home.. and it drove Yubin crazy that the girl had her blushing so easily.

 

"You okay?" Shiah didn't fail to notice her flustered cheeks. The girl's on her bed, playing fruit ninja on her phone.

 

"Yeah. Uh, I brought food from my parents." Yubin was gonna say home but it might be confusing. Shiah always made it confusing. 

 

"Yay, how's your mom? Is she better?" The reason why Yubin had to have additional days of staying home-- which is her parents' house, is that her mom got sick.

 

Yubin nodded in response, "Yep. Have you eaten?" She walked back to the living room to drag her sports bag from the doorway to the middle of their living area.

 

"Nope," Shiah answered from the room. 

 

Yubin decided not to unpack and instead, prepare food for the both of them since she feels a little hungry too. She walked towards the kitchen and as she walked past the dining table, she saw an orange lunch box, a well-prepared lunch set. 

 

"Whose is this then?" Yubin untied the red ribbon enclosing the set together. Again, it is well-prepared. 

 

Shiah walked out of the room after a few moments and with a small snorting, she replied. "Ah.. Mark."

 

"Mark? Your new boyfriend?" Yubin takes her chopsticks from her case and takes a piece of kimbap as she sits on her chair. 

 

"Ya-! No! He's not. He sent that as a goodbye gift." Shiah sat in front of her, eyes still busy on the game she's playing. Yubin knows her though, she knows that Shiah does this when she wants to feel distracted. 

 

"Wow. He cooked for you and it's just a goodbye gift- wait, what do you mean goodbye gift?"

 

As far as Yubin knows, this is the first time someone sent a lunch set to Shiah. Most of them sent flowers to their apartment. There was even a time when Yubin joked about setting up a garden in their living room with the number of flowers Shiah has received. 

 

"He said he's done waiting." Shiah simply answered, placing her phone down on the table before giving Yubin a look, then down on the food she's about to eat. 

 

Like I shouldn't eat this.

 

"The audacity?" Yubin let go of her chopsticks, scared that Shiah might go mad in annoyance. Could be that they lived for a long time that she can sense it now. 

 

"Yeah, but don't worry. I don't care." Shiah assures her. I know she cares. 

 

Smiling, Yubin picks up her chopsticks again. "Really? Let's eat this then."

 

"No, I don't wanna eat his food." Shiah was quick to refuse, shaking her head while crossing her arms over her chest. 

 

"What's wrong? I thought you don't care?" Yubin jokes, she was about to start eating again when Shiah started talking.

 

"I just wish there'll be someone who would understand me, who will care for me, who would always look after me the way I want them to, who I would find so interesting even without doing anything ridiculous," Shiah sighed before continuing, 

 

"..someone who listens well."

 

Shiah looked at her, the girl looked at Yubin with those eyes she couldn't understand. Yubin looked away and focused on her chopsticks. She stopped poking the pieces of fried chicken on her plate and stared at Shiah, trying to register all the things Shiah just told her. After a few seconds, Shiah let out a chuckle.

 

"Anyway, like I said, I don't care anymore." Shiah shrugged and joined Yubin in eating the lunch set her ex-suitor prepared for her.

 

Yubin heaved a deep breath, she knew Shiah was lying. But she also knew Shiah doesn't want to talk more about it. Instead of grilling her with more questions, Yubin proceeded to talk about other things, hopefully distracting Shiah's thoughts of loneliness.

 

After they finished eating, Shiah wanted to get some rest. Yubin is supposed to unpack her newly-washed clothes. She sits down on the floor with her legs crossed as she opens her bag. The thing is.. she can't stop thinking about Shiah.

 

Of course, she thinks about Shiah all the time. It's the fundamental of falling in love with Shiah. This one's different, it didn't feel right to see Shiah looking like that and Yubin wants to make her smile.

 

As she s her bag, she takes her phone from the mini pocket on the side and calls her friends. 

 

"Do you know what the cashier asked us?"

 

"They asked why we're buying Christmas lights on January 5th!" 

 

Sometimes, something that's just nothing to others could mean so much to someone. For Yubin, her endless ability to be the person who can comfort Shiah well is something that reminds her of what she means to Shiah.

 

"Hahaha, sorry Seung.. I really need it."

 

"For what?" Yewon sat on the couch and Seunghee followed behind Yubin as they walked towards the kitchen sink with three boxes of string lights in their hands.

 

"For Shiah." Yubin muttered. She placed the box on top of the kitchen table and opened the cabinet under the kitchen sink.

 

Yubin took the medium-sized toolbox there and grabbed the electrical tape before she faced Seunghee. Her friends easily understood what she meant-- understood that what she'll do is another episode of making Shiah feel better and they can tell even without asking how Shiah's doing. 

 

"What if Shiah unnie wakes up?" Yewon asks, whispering while they install the lights on the narrow hallway to the bedroom. 

 

"She'll wake up if you don't stop talking!" Seunghee scolded the younger. Yubin chuckled silently on her spot, actually worried as well that Shiah might suddenly barge out to the living room and see them holding fairy lights in their hands so randomly.

 

 

"Do you think this will do?" Yubin asked her friends as they stood at the leftmost corner of the living room.

 

Yewon scoffed at her question. "You, doing all this stuff for her already does."

 

Yubin smiled, shaking her head. Yewon and Seunghee start moving around the room, taking their bags that they dropped on the floor an hour ago. 

 

"Hey, you guys.. Thank you for this." Yubin tells them as she walks the two out of their apartment. Seunghee and Yewon smiled at her.

 

"No worries. Goodluck, Bin." Seunghee gave her a pat on the shoulder before walking away, Yewon followed.

 

"Lunch tomorrow, okay!" The younger girl yelled from the stairs, waving at Yubin. The latter laughed while waving back at them.

 

In order to pay for how much Seunghee and Yewon spent on the lights, Yubin promised to treat them food in the upcoming week. She closed the door behind her and walked back inside, wondering when will Shiah wake up. Or should I wake her up? Once again, Yubin glanced at the lights they installed. 

 

It was pretty. 

 

As she waits for Shiah to come out of their room, Yubin took her phone from the counter where she last placed it and played some random songs to match the mood of the room. 

 

▷ Let Your Heart Hold Fast—Fort Atlantic

 

All my days are spent
All my cards are dealt
Oh, the desolation grows.

 

Every inch revealed as my heart is pierced
Oh, my soul is now exposed.

 

Yubin mumbled the lyrics to the song as she walked around their living room, taking pictures of the beautiful lights lighting their evening. 

 

In the oceans deep,
In the canyon's steep
Walls of granite, here I stand.

 

All my desperate calls
Echo off the walls,
Back and forth then back again.

 

"Binnie..? What is this?" 

 

To believe I walk alone
Is a lie that I've been told.

 

Yubin immediately turned to see the awakened Shiah. Even though she just woke up, Yubin thinks she's beautiful. The girl walked quietly-speechless and in awe in the narrow hall towards Yubin's direction. 

 

So let your heart hold fast
For this soon shall pass
Like the high tide takes the sand.

 

Excitedly, Yubin takes Shiah's hand, gently pulling her to her side to show her the beauty of their living room set-up. Shiah scanned everything, Yubin felt the slight twitching of the smaller hand she was holding. Worried, she faced Shiah, with a grin on her face, hoping Shiah liked it. 

 

Shiah did, for once that day, Shiah finally smiled.. truthfully. 

 

"This is so pretty, Yoob. Thank you so much." Shiah—whose cheeks are blushing and eyes are sweating, pulled her hand away from Yubin's, only to grab the slightly taller girl in a grateful embrace.

 

"Y-you're welcome.."

 

So let your heart hold fast
For this soon shall pass
There's another hill ahead.

 

  3rd Year Summer Class, when Mihyun broke up with Shiah  

 

Yubin was cleaning their living room because of the pieces of scratch paper she used with Mihyun earlier this morning when they did their final project. Shiah excused herself earlier because her girlfriend is calling.

 

After Yubin's talk with Mihyun, it felt like she committed a terrible sin.  So when Shiah told her that Mihyun is calling her, Yubin nodded enthusiastically, as if she approved of Mihyun so much, so bad. On second thought, she feels nervous that Mihyun is calling Shiah at 11 PM. 

 

Mihyun did say she's going back to their dorm to rest after what's been revealed about Yubin's feelings. But.. But Mihyun promised she won't tell Shiah. Yubin tries to convince herself that Mihyun would instead feel even more motivated on loving Shiah now that she knew Yubin had let go of the girl for her. Have I? Yubin convinced herself that she had.

 

All of Yubin's worries seemed to have worsened when she heard Shiah yelling in their room.

 

"I already told you I'm done with that!" 

 

Yubin opened the door to their room and saw Shiah fiddling in their closet. Did they fight? 

 

Is it because of me?

 

Yubin wanted to ask Shiah what happened but she didn't have the time to do that when she saw Shiah taking the luggage bag from under her bed and started putting her clothes there from the closet. Shiah had her head low, and Yubin was unable to see her face but with her shoulders shaking uncontrollably, she knew the girl was crying. 

 

"Shiah- Shiah, hey, what are you doing?" Yubin steps closer, gently grabbing Shiah's arm to stop her. Shiah did stop, but the girl won't look at her.

 

Mihyun.. what did you do?

 

Yubin is smart. She knew the possible reason why Shiah yelled at Mihyun, or why her bestfriend is crying. But she had more questions, why would Mihyun do that? Is it really my fault? What should I do then? Am I a bad person? All her questions are not going to be answered tonight, she knew that too. The least she could do is to make sure Shiah would stop crying. 

 

"I'm so tired. I tried my best to make all of them stay.. why can't I make it work?" Shiah whispers, Yubin heard her but she was quick to say no, that it wasn't Shiah's fault. 

 

Yubin pulled the girl in a hug and unlike all the times she hugged Shiah.. this time, the girl's arms remained tucked against her chest. Shiah refused to hug her. 

 

Shiah rejected her. 

 

Yubin started feeling guilty, her conscience dropped heavily as her heart shattered when Shiah pulled away from her arms. 

 

"I-I'm leaving, Yubin," Shiah told her before returning to packing her stuff. 

 

"What?" Yubin can't believe this. Does this apartment remind her of Mihyun? Yubin knew Mihyun had this much effect on Shiah but not to this point. "You can't leave. How about me?"

 

Yubin tried to stop Shiah again but the girl keeps dodging her hold, avoiding her eyes starting to tear up at the sight of the love of her life crying while packing up to leave the place they once called home. 

 

"I.. I want to be alone. I can't take any more of this." Shiah tells her, pushing her hand away when she placed her hand on the closet to block Shiah from getting more of her clothes. 

 

"Shiah, I'm here. You know I won't let you be alone, I won't make you feel alone." Yubin repeatedly tried to grab Shiah's hands onto hers, the tears on Shiah's cheeks made her feel more desperate to make her stay. 

 

"I don't want you to.. please," Shiah speaks in a firm tone now, finally looking up to meet Yubin's eyes and all Yubin saw was pain, tiredness, and loneliness.

 

Shiah stopped moving, Yubin was holding her wrists tightly but carefully to secure her. She smiled bitterly, trying hard to let Shiah know that everything will be fine but Shiah only shook her head. Why can't I make you smile now?

 

"I'll stay," Yubin muttered as she hugged Shiah, one hand lightly combing Shiah's hair and the other circled around the smaller girl's waist. Yubin has no plans to let Shiah go. 

 

Shiah sobbed on her shoulder, a familiar feeling of being Shiah's safe place came back to Yubin. She just realized that out of everything Shiah made her feel, this one must be the heaviest but still one of her favorite feelings ever. As midnight struck, Shiah mumbled to her that she was getting sleepy. 

 

That night, they slept on Yubin's bed as Shiah's bed is occupied with the luggage bag and the unpacked clothes and things Shiah owns. Yubin did not know what to think. She didn't know what else to tell Shiah so she just hugged the girl to sleep. Yubin had no idea what would happen next, on the next day, on the next weeks, on the next months, and in the next few years. But she's a hundred percent sure she'll stay with Shiah, on Shiah's side, no matter what. 

 

Yubin didn't dream about Shiah in her sleep, she thought it was okay when she woke up. She was sure she'd be seeing Shiah's face once she woke up anyway. 

 

But Shiah wasn't there, her arms were holding nothing, the other side of the bed was empty, the other bed was empty either. 

 

Shiah's bed is empty. Shiah's side of the closet is empty. Shiah's luggage is nowhere to be seen. 

 

Shiah is nowhere to be seen.