Days had passed and Chan got more and more worried about his friend, it was like he was just shut down, the only thing it seemed he to focus on was work, even though they didn’t have much work to do in the first place, so he really found it odd.

 

He also never saw the boy leave the office, so he went to check up on the boy at his apartment only to find Jeongin telling him that he hasn’t been home for the past week and that he, himself was getting worried about the older.

 

Chan ended up contacting their friends trying to find where Changbin was staying but he wasn’t living at any of them and Seungmin just completely avoided the topic, that only left Chan with the thought that maybe he was crashing at Taeyang’s place but when he asked the boy about it, he only learned that Taeyang hadn’t seen Changbin since the day he left his apartment.

 

Chan was fed up, he wanted to know what was up with his friend, he was worried about him, it was odd for him to act the way he was acting.

 

So he found himself outside the boy’s office he knocked but nothing, he ended up walking in only to find that the boy’s office was really a mess, he locked the door behind him so his friend wouldn’t run off without explaining himself.

 

“Changbin we need to talk,” Chan said seriously, his friend looked like a mess, he had dark circles around his eyes, eye bags and he looked like he lost weight.

 

“There’s nothing to talk about, I have work to do so please leave,” Changbin said in a monotone voice, Chan was surprised, he didn’t know Changbin like this, it was like a complete stranger was sitting in front of him.

 

“No, there’s a lot to talk about so start speaking right now,” Chan said seriously.

 

“I’m just busy that’s all, there’s nothing to worry about” Changbin replied.

 

“Why is Seungmin avoiding any topic that has your name in it? What happened? Why have you been avoiding Taeyang? He’s worried about you, why do you keep yourself locked up here? Why haven’t you gone home Jeongin is worried” Chan told the boy.

 

“Let me see… Seungmin and I got drunk and Seungmin thought it would be nice to just kiss me out of nowhere, I can’t face Jeongin knowing that happened and I don’t want to see Seungmin knowing he pulled something like that, with Taeyang? There’s a lot going on that I am too scared to face so I need time before I see him okay?” Changbin said finally looking at his friend, Chan was surprised, he couldn’t believe what his friend said, but then he also knew him for such a long time, he knew his friend wouldn’t be lying to him about things like that.

 

“Okay let’s start from the simplest one on this list, Taeyang, why are you scared?” Chan asked the man

 

“You think that’s the simplest thing? No that’s the hardest one, I don’t even want to talk about it, no I don’t even want to think about it, the further away the better it is” Changbin responded, surprising Chan.

 

“From the way you speak I think I can figure it out a little, you like him don’t you?” 

 

“Yeah… and I hate it, I promised myself no more falling in love and look at me, I fell for a kid and he already has so much to deal with that I can’t be close to him because it is hard to hold back, I have liked him a while now but the stronger the feelings get I want to run away” 

 

“We talked about this before, Taeyang isn’t a kid, you have a 5 year age difference not a 10 or 20 year age difference, he is also an adult if you like him I’m sure he won’t be freaked out, if you are by his side during his hard times, I’m sure he would be really thankful for that” Chan tried to comfort him.

 

“It’s not that simple… he suffered a great loss hyung, it doesn’t feel right to feel these things, especially right now knowing just how much he is dealing with, I’m scared I’d reach a point where it slips out and I add more things to the list he has to deal with,” Changbin told him, Chan could only let out a sigh, he understood what Changbin meant but still, he didn’t want his friend to keep everything bottled up.

 

“Hmm, just think about it okay? You can’t keep yourself shut-in like this? I know you probably don’t want to speak about Seungmin and Jeongin right now so let’s get you something to eat instead, Taeyang doesn’t work today, I asked him before his shifts in case he saw you so he could let me know”

 

He could only nod, he was tired, but he hadn’t eaten a proper meal for the longest time. The two walked out of Changbin’s office and started heading to the cafe across the road, Changbin walked slower than Chan and the boy didn’t find it odd since his friend was probably tired so he didn’t want to make him walk faster, but he didn’t expect to hear a sudden thud, being startled by the sound he found his friend on motionless on the floor.

 

“Changbin” Chan yelled, catching everyone around them attention, there were sudden loud noises everyone was panicking about the boy who fainted.

 

“I’ll call an ambulance” Someone yelled.

 

Chan kept an eye on him while they waited, luckily the ambulance arrived quickly, they loaded Changbin on a stretcher and carried the boy out, Chan followed behind, hurriedly calling Jisung to tell the rest of their friends.

 

When they got outside they drew a lot of attention, among the people stood Taeyang, the boy went pale when he saw Changbin on the stretcher and he picked up Nara immediately and ran towards the scene, Chan saw him almost immediately.

 

“Hyung what happened? Why is Changbin hyung being taken in an ambulance?” Taeyang asked.

 

“He fainted, I finally got him out of his office and he fainted almost immediately,” Chan said to the boy.

 

“H-hyung will it be okay if I go with you to the hospital?” Chan nodded without hesitation, the two got into the back of the ambulance, Taeyang sat with Nara on his lap, the little girl looked at Changbin and then towards Taeyang.

 

“Daddy, what’s wrong with uncle?” the little girl asked looking at her father and then towards Chan.

 

Chan was a little surprised, he didn’t expect to hear the little girl call Taeyang, daddy but slowly things started to make sense to Chan, Taeyang must’ve lost his wife or girlfriend now he was raising their child alone, it broke his heart a little.

 

“Uncle isn’t feeling well but he is going to the hospital to get better,” he told her.

 

“Is it the same hospital mommy and daddy went to?” she asked innocently, Taeyang closed his eyes for a bit, taking a deep breath.

 

“Yep, mommy and daddy were in the same hospital”

 

“Then will uncle go to heaven like mommy and daddy?” 

 

Taeyang didn’t know how to reply, it broke him a little hearing those words, Chan was a bit surprised as well, he didn’t expect to hear that.

 

“No, uncle won’t be joining them, uncle is just very, very tired so he fell asleep, the hospital will help him feel better then he will go home again”

 

“Oh,” the little girl said with a nod, Taeyang looked towards Chan.

 

“Sorry about that…” he said softly, Chan sent him a warm smile.

 

“It’s okay… are you okay though? It seems like it still hurts” 

 

“It does… I heard from Changbin hyung that hyung knew my sister” Taeyang told the boy, Chan was a little surprised.

 

“Sora noona, she dated someone on the swim team named Taeho,” Taeyang told the boy and it suddenly started to make sense, Changbin was talking about this, it was a lot to take in for him as well but he heard it before, that something happened to them.

 

“Yeah, they were a wonderful couple, I heard a while ago from coach Kang that something happened to the two but he didn’t go into much detail about it”

 

“They were in a car accident on the way to the hospital when my sister went into labor with her second baby, but they got hit by a truck since it was raining and the roads were slippery they all died at the scene, so I’m looking after this little nugget, I wanted to find their friends and tell them but I never had the strength to deliver such news but when I saw Changbin hyung looking to fondly at their photos it just came out and now again… it just came out,” Taeyang told the boy.

 

“It’s because you have kept it bottled up for such a long time that now everything is running over and everything wants to come out, you never spoke about this right? About the accident or what happened, you tried keeping it all to yourself” Chan asked him and the boy nodded.

 

“I didn’t want to bother anyone with my problems, my parents are suffering a lot, Taeho’s parents as well, I need to be strong for Nara, so I just tried pushing it all away” 

 

“Hmm as I thought you two are more alike than you think~ this kid has been bottling everything up for so long that the moment something tries to escape or he starts to feel something unfamiliar he shuts down and suffers a lot, that’s why he is like this now,” Chan said with a sigh.

 

“Hyung is someone who I want to rely on a lot, and I want him to rely on me because somehow I keep finding myself worrying about him, he hugged me once and I miss that warmth, I think back then I needed that hug a lot so I want to return it to him… I want to take care of this hyung” Taeyang said fondly, looking at the boy who was on the stretcher.

 

“Then… stay by his side please, he might end up trying to push you away at times but no matter what, stay there beside him,” Chan asked him and the boy nodded.

 

They got to the hospital and their friends were all there waiting for them, Jeongin and Seungmin didn’t even look at one another and Seungmin couldn’t even look at Changbin either since he knew he was part of the reason the man was in this state.

 

He couldn’t forgive himself; he knew he should apologize for his actions; he still didn’t understand why he did something like that in the first place.

 

They didn’t stay too long since the doctor told them to go home, they said that he needed a lot of rest, he was overworked, stressed out and his body was just too tired, so they all left agreeing to come back once he woke up, the doctor told them that he’d call them once the boy was awake and they were thankful for that.

 

Chan and Felix ended up taking Taeyang and Nara with them, they didn’t want to leave the two alone knowing what just happened, and especially Chan knowing what was going on with Taeyang, it seemed like it would be for the best to keep the two as close to them as possible.

 

Chan received a call early in the morning, Changbin woke up twice during the night and was awake at that time so he let everyone know, he woke up Felix and went to wake up Taeyang and Nara.

 

They had breakfast together and then went to the hospital together.

 

When they got there Chan gave Changbin a long lecture, Taeyang sat in one of the chairs, and Felix sat beside him playing with Nara, the boy got very attached to her. 

 

"Now that being said, I'm going to give Taeyang time to speak to you so we are going to go get Nara some ice cream,” Chan said, he already asked permission before they came to the hospital and Taeyang agreed. 

 

The three left and only Changbin and Taeyang were left. 

 

"Chan hyung already lectured you hyung but I still want to say everything I need to get out,” Taeyang told him and Changbin nodded, he really expected the worst but when he looked at the boy and saw how broken he looked he felt guilty. 

 

"Hyung, did you know that hug the other day was something I have always dreamt about? Since the accident, I tried being happy I never cried, I believed I had to be strong no matter what so no one even felt the need to give me a hug and tell me comforting words, but when hyung did that it was as if someone just told me I won the lottery, it was the best feeling… Knowing hyung had been suffering quietly makes me want to give hyung a hug like that as well, one that will make the pain go away, I don't know what happened but I don't want you to suffer hyung, so please take care of yourself, I know expressing feelings is hard and we don't always want to do it because it can cause conflict and pain to others but keeping it all inside, I'm realizing it's not right, so hyung if you could rely on me with things like this, I would be very happy"

 

Changbin was a bit surprised he was sure he was going to get another lecture but the boy was worried about him so he couldn't not take the boy's words seriously. 

 

"Hmm hyung will rely more on you from now on,” Changbin said with a small smile, he stretched his hand out and took Taeyang's in his. 

 

"and you as well, you have a lot on your plate, raising a child is hard with two people but you have to do it alone, and you work as well, you also have to prepare to go back to uni soon, it must be stressful" 

 

"I won't be going back, I was actually on my way yesterday to give in my withdrawal notice,” Taeyang told him.

 

"Why not? Did something happen?" Changbin was a bit surprised hearing those words. 

 

"It's hard to handle everything, working part-time and looking after Nara is already hard but going to school as well won't fit into my schedule,” Taeyang told him. 

 

"I can look after Nara while you're at school, a lot of my co-workers bring their kids along to work" 

 

"But hyung she isn't your child, it would only make things hard for you" 

 

"It won't, knowing that I can help you somehow, it will make me very happy,” Changbin said to the boy, Taeyang looked at him for a bit. 

 

"then hyung, how are we going to do it? Hyung lives far away" 

 

"I can rent an apartment in the same building" 

 

"Hyung can live with me,” Taeyang said to him and Changbin was a little shocked, and although he would've rejected it only the day before he was just tired of running away from his feelings, Chan's right, their wasn't big, it wasn't something scandalous, Taeyang was an adult, probably more mature than anyone his age, and he just wanted to help him even if he couldn't date him. 

 

In the end, Changbin agreed and the two talked more and made a few plans on what they will be doing and how things would work. 

 

After a while they were just catching up on the time they were apart when the door opened, revealing Seungmin and Jeongin, the two sheepishly entered the room. 

 

"I'm sorry hyung" was the first thing Seungmin said when he saw the man. 

 

"It's okay, although being drunk doesn't excuse your actions, I'm letting it slide but never do that again,” Changbin said seriously. 

 

The boy nodded his head quickly. 

 

"Jeongin and I made up, we decided to go on trial dates until he gets comfortable with it," Seungmin said and Changbin smiled a bit. 

 

"That's great to hear" 

 

Slowly everyone arrived, and when Chan and Felix returned with Nara it was as if everyone slowly became one huge family, Taeyang and Changbin watched as the boys all played with Nara, Minho and Jisung being the two who focused on her the most since they were in the progress of adopting a baby themselves. 

 

Changbin felt a little relieved, but he was still tired and he knew he wasn't going to feel better instantly but he hoped that soon he could be himself again and when he is ready he will face everything head-on.