Hello 🤗

 

-Same Ground-

--

My love,

It's been a long time since I cried

And left you out of the blue.

 

Ilang oras na nga ba ang lumipas simula nung saraduhan ka niya ng pinto?

Naiwan ka pa ring nakatayo, nakatungo at walang tigil sa pag-iyak. A moment ago, masaya ka pa kasi you were dreaming of her na she’s taking of care you just like the old times. Pagmulat mo ng mga mata, hindi makapaniwalang nandito sya and that she was indeed close to you. Abot-kamay mo na ulit, ilang buwan mo ring tiniis na hindi sya lapitan at pigil na pigil na sabihin lahat sa kanya.

Kaso dahil sa pagkasabik mo, everything turns into a nightmare.

With the way, she wiped off her lips after you kissed her, the obvious anger and disgust she had on her face. Nasasaktan ka to see her do that, kalian ba sya nandiri sayo ever? When she used to say that she could kiss you forever noon, that her new hobby was kissing your lips and if she could, she’d do that every day and everywhere.

You can only feel bitter. She was wiping her lips furiously, gustong-gustong burahin sa alaala ang ginawa mong paghalik sa kanya. The next thing you know kusa nang namumuo ang mga nagbabadyang luha sa mga mata mo.

Kasi nga you alam mo na it was really the end, wala na.

At kahit magmakaawa ka pa, she’s not going to take you back.

The thought na you will never have again breaks you into pieces, you sit and held your knees together kagaya nung araw na nakipagbreak ka sa kanya. 

Yakap-yakap mo ang sarili, kasi alam mo na from that day on, ikaw na lang mayroon ka.

Sarili mo na lang meron ka.

--

It's hard

Leaving you that way when I never wanted to.

 

Napabalikwas ka from your study table. 

Napatingin sa orasan, ang tagal mo na palang tulog. Ang sakit ng leeg mo 

You've been busy, sobra. That sometimes you forgot to check on Winte--

!

Napahawak ka kaagad sa phone.

6 missed calls from her and 13 unread messages galing sa kanya.

Even from your bestfriend, Giselle.

Damn, that means you missed another gig of theirs.

You sighed. Ito na naman.

It's been what, siguro pangapat na beses na. You're starting to hate yourself.

You opened their messgages one by one.

Jagi?

San ka na?

Babe, we're about to start, makakapunta ka pa ba?

Are you sure na hindi ka pa pagod? Okay lang ba talagang sumunod ka sa min dito?

Jagiii, kinakabahan ako :( hold me please 🥺 I'll wait for you sa 3rd cubicle ng girl's restroom mamaya 30 minutes before magstart. Just tell me, pagmalapit ka na okay?

I know you said you'll go straight dito later but pwede naman kita sunduin. Baka kasi you're too tired, dami nyo raw kailangan gawin. Just text me agad ha? Nasilip ko yung council room mukhang may meeting kayo.

You know, disappointed na naman si Winter sayo. More over you just hurt her again kahit hindi mo naman sinasadya.

Nakatulog ka sabi mo you'll read lang sandali but you ended up taking a nap. Nakakalat pa yung reviewers and notes mo sa table.

You feel awful, how are you going to face Winter?

How will you apologize sa kanya ulit?

How will you make her feel better?

Kahit naman makailang sorry ka, yung narandaman niya today, it will stay sa kanya. You're afraid na baka she'll end up getting tired of you. Or worst, she gets used to it.

You don't know how, hindi mo alam anong gagawin mo for her. Wala kang maisip.

Nagtext ka lang sa kanya, you just said sorry and went back to crying.

Kasi hindi mo na alam, everything's taking a toll on you, yung acads, council duties and scholarship mo. Naaapektuhan na pati si Winter.

You hate it. You hate yourself for breaking your promises sa kanya.

You hate it when you disappoint her.

You're hurting her unintentionally. You knew sooner you'll have to make a decision.

Pero, hindi ka pa handa, ayaw mo.. but paano naman si Winter?

What if this happens again?

God, you really hate yourself.

---

 

"Buti naman at nakasalo kayo sa min. Balita ko, ikaw pala ang current VP ng council. Kamusta naman, hindi ka ba nahihirapan?"

Bati ng tatay ni Jeno sa iyo, magkumpare kasi ang mga tatay niyo and nandito kayo sa bahay nila for dinner.

"Naku dear, kilala mo naman yang magkapatid na yan. Achiever sila kaya, kayang-kaya nila yan. Look at Taeyeon, nasa ibang bansa na."

Napangiwi ka ng slight, people often think kagaya ka ng ate mo, who by the way excels at everything. Your ate graduated summa laude while being SC president at pambato ng school sa mga competitions. 

You know you have to live up with the expectations, you don't want to disappoint your parents. 

Ayaw mong maging disappointment.

"Medyo mahirap lang po imanage yung time but I was hoping I can do it po"

"Of course, anak you could do it!"

Your father looks at you with high regard while your mom glances at you concerned.

"Rina's trying her best, just don't forget na you sometimes have to take a break, anak."

"Opo, mommy."

You smiled sa Mom mo to put her at ease. Ayaw mong mag-alala sila sayo.

"Napakabait talaga ng mga anak. I just wish itong si Jeno eh makinig sa min. Why not try to join the council next year? Wouldn't it be great if magkasama kayo ni Karina sa SC?"

"Mom, tingin ko most likely I will be the team captain ng basketball next sem but I'll think about it. Especially, if Rina does run for the highest position."

"Ayan, that's great, tandem kayong dalawa? Would it be good, kumpare?"

"Oo nga, anak. Jeno's going to be your VP, bagay kayo."

Your dad just had to say that when you already told him na hindi ka pa sigurado about running for President although ilang months nalang naman and you need to decide na. But wala ka pang minamatang party since unsure ka pa nga.

What it's got to do with Jeno? Hindi ba niya kayang tumakbo on his own sa partidong mapipili nya? Bakit kailangan idamay ka?

"Hey, hon, the kids can make their own decisions. Isa pa, hectic na sa course nina Rina next year, she's gonna have her thesis na."

Thank god, you have your mom.

"Yes po, that's why di pa po ko sigurado, since magiging busy po sa acads dahil thesis and feasib na po next sem."

"Sayang naman but it would be a good opportunity for the both of you."

The night didn't end without you getting annoyed, it's so obvious na yung parents ni Jeno is setting both of you up, it also didn't help na nakikisali ang Dad mo.

You felt naseous, you felt fisgusting that you have to put up with Jeno's flirting as well when you could only think of Winter.

You have a girlfriend. Gusto mong sabihin and you love her dearly kaya kung pwede lang wag na nilang ipilit sayo si Jeno.

Akala mo it would stop there kaso every weekend yata na umuuwi ka sa inyo Jeno seems to be there.

Your father invited Jeno, they are playing chess madalas sa garden niyo. He loses everytime. Naiinis ka na kasi hindi ka makasabay kay Winter maglakad every Monday morning dahil pinayagan ng parents mo si Jeno na ihatid ka every monday morning and friday afternoon sa inyo.

This is really messed up alam mong nakakahalata na si Winter sa lagi mong pagtanggi. It's the only time na nga lang na makakasama mo siya, nabawasan pa.

You need to think. Kailangan mong makahanap ng paraan, hindi pwedeng lagi nalang ganito.

This is too much for you and Winter. Nagiging unfair ka na and you hated kapag nagsisinungaling ka sa kanya.

You hated this.

---

 

"Rina?"

"Yes, dad?"

"I've been calling you kanina pa, iha."

You kind of zoned out after banggitin ng Daddy mo ang pinsan mong si Ate Irene who apparently ran away with her girlfriend, Seulgi. He started telling you this bigla when your mom excused herself papuntang restroom. 

Your whole family knew dahil close family friend ang pamilya ng ate Seulgi mo. Kahit noon pa man, suspicious na talaga ang dalawang yon, they are too close to be platonic.

"Wag kang tutulad sa pinsan mo. Don't make drastic decisions, saan nalang sila pupuluting dalawa? Baka mamaya ilusyon lang nila yan tapos di naman pala magtatagal. Hay nakuu, bakit hindi na lang kasi si Bogum? Napakasuccessful ng manliligaw niyang yon bakit pinili nya pa yung lesb--"

Nabitawan mo yung spoon na hawak mo, you don't want to hear it.

"I'm sorry po, kuha lang po ko ng bagong kutsara."

Kailangan mong huminga, you need a breather. Deep inside, you're panicking, this just confirms yung takot at mga pangamba mo. Napahigpit ang kapit mo sa lababo, nanghihina kasi mga tuhod, any minute bibigay ka na and you can't let your parents see you breaking down.

"Anak? Rina, bakit bigla ka nawala? Nagcr lang si mommy, wala ka na dun sa table?"

You steady yourself pinuntahan ka na pala ng Mom mo sa kusina.

"Sorry, mommy kumuha lang po ako ng kutsara, nahulog ko po kasi."

"Okay sige, irefill ko lang itong juice natin. Kumain ka ng marami parang pumapayat ka na. Baka anu ano lang kinakain mo dun sa dorm mo. I'll drop by minsan so I can cook for you."

Lumapit ito sayo at hinagod ang buhok mo. It's making you feel okay, para bang pinapakalma ka. You can't help but feel overwhelmed. 

"Thank you po, Mommy."

You hugged her suddenly. You still feel slightly scared. 

"Namiss ako ng baby ko.."

You cried, kasi oo you miss it, namiss mong maging bata when you're free of all the pressure.

You tightened your hug because just then you realized na you really have to do it.

Kahit pa ikasira mo, you have to do it. Pagod ka na saktan si Winter. 

You both needed this. 

"I love you, Mom."

You never want to be a disappointment. Mas lalo ka lang at si Winter na masasaktan.

Nakakapagod na.

---

The last straw was the night your best friend called you.

Nasa hospital daw sila ng banda kaya di siya makakapasok sa class kinabukasan. They are there for Winter.

Napaaway daw ito kagabi. Sangkot na naman sa gulo ang jowa mo. Pinag-aalala ka niya ulit ng husto. You acted nonchalantly habang kausap si Giselle but in truth nangingilid na yung luha mo sa kaba sa nangyari kay Winter.

You remember that it was your anniversary pero hindi ka nakapunta because may biglaang dinner kasama na naman ang family ni Jeno.

You missed another special day ninyong dalawa.

You knew it was the right time to tell her, to do this. Kasi you can't bear na humantong po ito sa mas malala, nasasaktan na siya emotionally and physically.

Bakit naman sya nagwawala? Bakit siya napapaaway?!

You rushed sa hospital. She probably thought na nakalimutan mo yung anniversary niyo kaya siya badtrip but the truth is you actually had her gift ready. 

Yung customized guitar pick na ang tagal-tagal mong pinag-ipunan. Kasi gusto mong malaman niya na despite your shortcomings, yung hindi mo sinasadyang hindi makasipot sa gigs niya, you want her to know kung pwede lang you'll always be by her side sa pag-abot niya sa mga pangarap niya.

Even if you're not there, if you can't make it na naman dahil sa sobrang busy mo, gusto mong maramdaman niya na hindi siya nag-iisa na nandoon ka, nakahawak palagi sa kamay niya. You're there to kiss her anxieties, fears and worries away.

Gusto mong maalala ka niya every time she plays on stage kaya you had the pick coloured blue, your favorite color and with her name engraved on one side while your initials on the other side.

Na kahit hindi mo kayang ipagsigawan, you're always proud of her.

Lagi kang handang suportahan siya. You're just as proud as her sa mga naachieve nya.

That you will always be her biggest fan.

But when you saw her nakaratay don sa hospital. Her lips all bruised, her face swollen and a black eye.

You lost it.

You knew na this is where it all should end. 

You hate it so much kapag nasasaktan siya. 

And so much more, if it was because of you kaya you had to stop yourself sa pagduwal tinatagan mo yung loob, determined na tapusin na ang lahat 

Kahit pa halos bumula na ang bibig mo sa mga kasinungaling nilalabas mo when Winter woke up.

“I can’t believe you hindi lang ako nakarating, you do this to yourself?”

“Winter napapagod na ko!

I'm sorry, Jagi. I didn't mean any of it.

With that, new achievement unlocked for yourself, you became the biggest liar on earth.

---

 

It didn't make any sense. 

Nabagok ba ang ulo ni Winter when she had that fight? 

Why is she running for Vice President?

Yung kabilang partido na yon, you don't understand, iba yung nakaline up sa kanila. Probably months ago pa nga, may nariring ka na about their line up, bakit biglang nasali si Winter?!

Why did they suddenly included her?

Bakit naman pumayag ang jowa mo?! She never had an interest sa maging ganitong bagay!

Imposible!

Kilala mo si Winter and for sure, hindi sya mahilig sa politika. She preferred to lie low bakit ngayon, ngayon na you decided to run for President ng council?

Is she doing this to get back at you? Ginagantihan ka ba niya? My god, pinapairal na naman niya yang pagiging childish niya! 

Why is she suddenly doing this? Ano ba talagang nangyari that night? Wala rin masyadong ideya ang bestfriend about sa away na kinasangkutan ni Winter.

Parang pumipintig ang ulo mo sa kaiisip, just why the hell Winter is joining the student council? 

--

 

Okay given na you oppose her intention sa pagsali niya sa council pero damn..

Damn you Winter Kim for sweeping my feet off and making me fall for you harder and harder again. I'm not supposed to think this way but--

Kasi naman your heart swell with admiration when you heard Winter's answers during the debate. You always knew how much potential she has and how she's just playing it easy pagdating sa acads. 

Gusto mo mang pumalakpak every time she answers and burns Jeno alive with her argument, hindi mo magawa kasi magkabilang partido kayo. Because, honestly, her being savage, ang hot niya pls! 

​​​Di mo kinakaya. Pwedeng easyhan niya lang, she looks so damn hot and smart sa debate nila. You swoon and you almost forgot na ikaw na pala ang next na sasalang.

When it was your turn to step on the podium, you saw how she stares at you for awhile pero nagkunwari kang busy sa notes mo para sa iyong speech until sa pinalitan na siya ng presidente nila don sa stand.

Pinipigilan mong salubungin ang tingin niya. You can't afford any slip up. Hindi mo tiniis na makita siyang basa sa ulan when she went to your unit para magmakaawang balikan mo siya.

You're just going to hurt her more if you stay. Paniwalang-paniwala ka that the decision you made was for the both of you.

Just like what you expected, Winter won the election. Nung pinopost na yung listahan, you never bothered looking for your own name pero hinanap mo yung kanya. 

God, kung nakikita mo lang ang sarili mo, alam mong halos mapunit na yung mukha mo sa pagkajangiti at pagkatuwa.

You're beyond proud, you knew Winter had it in her. Kinagat mo pa nga yung kamao mo para di ka mapasigaw sa sobrang saya.

Agad mong nilapitan si Jeno ng akma nitong sasapakin si Winter.

My god please, men and their fragile ego.

Gustong-gusto mong sampalin si Jeno after his fist went straight to Winter's face.

Tangina! 

Yung baby face ng jow- ni Winter binagasan ng epal na ito.

You threw a concerned look at tinawag si Winter na papikit na, she can't sleep baka mamaya ano mangyari sa kaniya. You asked Gi na dalhin niyo siyang dalawa sa clinic.

Good thing, peoplenonly thought you're just doing your job as the newly elected president.

You can't help but corner Winter, she really isn't backing down. You're really curious. Ano ba kasing rason ng biglaan nyang pagtakbo?

Hindi ka sanay na sagutin ka nya ng ganito, she's clearly ready to fight you with words. You find yourself tongue-tied, you just lost an argument against her.

You're starting to hate this, hindi mo mabasa what she's thinking.

Napakuyom ka lang ng palad while you watch her walk away from you.

 

---

 

Napapansin mong she's getting close kay Ningning and apparently pati kay Arin.

Even nung kampanya palang, you feel something odd everytime you see the two of them na magkasama although it isn't unlikely dahil Secretary si Arin an VP si Winter sa ilalim ng isang partido.

You can't explain but you don't like it, masyadong nagiging friendly si Winter.

You even raised your brows every time may mga estudyanteng lumilingkis habang nagpapapicture sa kanya nung campaign period. Can they distance themselves a bit?! Kasya naman sila don sa frame ng cellphone, hindi need na yakapin si Winter!

Inaamin mo, oo na, you're getting jealous kay Ningning. Winter seems to be fond of her! She even stayed late sa school para lang tulungan ito magkabit ng event posters, perhaps, nagkakagusto na siya sa dito?

NOOO!!!

Then, you remembered na wala kang karapatan because you two have already broken up.

Wala kang pake if it's making you look immature, how can she, how can she move on so fast?!

How dare she move on from you?! Gusto ka na niya mula high school and what? It only took several months nagkakagusto na siya sa iba?!

You sound so childish and unreasonable. 

Kaya naman when you accidentally heard na may plano ang SC members na pagbuhulin kayong dalawa ni Winter sa fair. Nagkunwari kang walang alam acted like you're also surprised pero hindi ka naman umaangal dahil deep inside you want to spend time with her.

You'd do anything for Winter.

You missed her so bad.

And the thought na para bang you'll date sa fair, excites you, paano ba naman kasi this would be the first time na malaya kayong magkasama sa school grounds!

Hindi niyo na kailangang magtago.

But the day ended up with your heart becoming heavier each second when the day is nearing to end, lalo na when Winter implied she doesn't want to be with you.

Pagod na raw siya. Tapos, biglang she smiled brightly kay Ningning and congratulated her loudly nung makita niya ito.

Sabi niya she's exhausted pero bakit ang saya niya masyado with Ning.

Pagdating mo ng unit mo, you buried your head sa pillow and punched her plaid shirt, expressing your annoyance.

Oo katabi mo sa pagtulog yung damit niya, you miss her smell and her warmth. Ito lang yung way na alam mo dahil alam mong she's never going to hug you again.

Not after, you ended everything between the two of you.

Hindi ba ito naman yung gusto mo? Yung matigil na masaktan siya because of you?

Wala ka ng oras para sa kanya when you were SC's VP ngayon pa kayang Presidente ka? Mabuti na ito kesa naman you will hurt again dahil hindi mo siya mapaglaanan ng oras.

It was difficult, sobra. Academics, council duties, competitions and expectations, bawat segundo you can bear na gamitin pa yon sa ibang bagay bukod sa pahinga.

Yung madatory family dinners niyo with Jeno's family or with Jeno alone. Seems like your father is really convinced na tama ang mga kumpadre niya that Jeno is the right man for you.

Tss.. if they only know, that guy did not even get the basketball captain position gaya ng pinagyayabang nito nung una kaya pinagbuntungan ng galit si Winter when he also lost the VP race.

You f**king hated it.

--

 

You didn't get any sleep. After she left you, umiyak ka lang nang umiyak, namamaga ang mata mo.

Hindi kaya ng make up, kunsabagay bakit mo pa tatakpan, when you've always been miserable ever since that day you chose to break her and yourself.

Pagdating mo sa school grounds, inevitable na pinagtitinginan ka.

Pero may mas agaw atensyon kesa sa kaitsurahan mo. May kumpol ng mga studyante sa hallway.

Si Winter at Jeno

"Umamin ka na lang. Mandaraya ka!"

Rinig mong sigaw ni Winter sa lalaki, you immediately ran kung nasaan sila. Hindi mo hahayaang makaisa na naman yang ulupong na yan kay Winter.

"Bakit may ebidensya ka ba ha? Ang angas angas mo akala mo kung sino ka, VP ka lang naman!"

"Ikaw naman ungas, batang uhugin na di kayang tanggapin yung pagkatalo nya!"

"Aba gago ka!"

Ito na nga at naabot ng suntok si Winter. This is the first time you see Win tackled to the ground. Patuloy lang sa pagsuntok si Jeno. Kaya nanigas ka sa kinatatayuan mo, ito yung pinakakinakatakutan mo yung masaktan sya ng ganito.

! 

Before mo pa sya mapuntahan, someone else did. She helped pulling Jeno away from Winter. 

Nakita mo how Winter immediately clung onto her. Napakuyom ka na lang ng palad nang isiniksik ng maigi ni Winter ang sarili nya kay Arin. Dumudugo ang labi at ilong nito.

Putangina talaga! Nasaktan na naman siya!

“Ano? Ano naman kung totoong ginawa ko yun?”

Susugod pa ito ulit but you stopped him hinarang mo ang sarili mo sa harap nina Arin at Winter. 

“Tama na! Ano bang nangyayari?”

Sinubukan mong patihimikin ang lahat at awatin si Jeno.

“Yan kasing VP mo, akala mo kung sinong nagmamalinis, eh may sikreto rin naman sya.

Nakatingin ito sayo at kay Winter. He smirked and went closer sayo.

“Bakit Winter akala mo ba hindi ko alam na naging kayo ni Karina? Ikaw! Ikaw ‘tong laging bwiset sa mga plano ko!”

Narinig mong nagulat ang mga estudyanteng nakapalibot sa inyo. ! Nablangko ka, you were always careful di ba?

You saw how the students around you started murmuring, they are looking at you and some even pointing their fingers at you. The scene suddenly makes you suffocated.

Now, that the cover has been blown, anong gagawin mo?

Your thoughts were interrupted dahil sa isang mapanuyang tawa mula sa likod mo.

“HAHAHAHA hindi ka lang obsessed, delusyonado ka pa. Huwag kang gumawa ng kwento, kung gusto mo yang si Miss President iyong-iyo na. Hindi yung pati ako dinadamay mo pa.”

Nagpantig ang tenga mo sa sinabi ni Winter. Nagawa pa nitong tumawa kahit dumudugo na ang bibig nya. Nakita mong bumaling ito sayo saglit nung pinapamigay ka na niya, walang emosyon sa mga mata.

Talaga bang ayaw nya na sayo?

You saw how she tightened her hold kay Arin at iniiwas na ang tingin sayo.

"Isa pa, I have nothing to do with Karina. Tigilan mo pag-iiba ng usapan. Sumagot ka na lang, hindi ba ikaw naman talaga ang nag-utos na bugbugin si Beomgyu para hindi na sya makatakbo as Vice? That night doon sa bar kung saan kami tumutugtog ng banda ko."

"Hah, ano naman kung oo?! I just did that para siguradong kami ni Karina ang magkasama. But you just have to get in the way, nasira lahat ng plano ko dahil sayo!"

Napaatras ka all along is this what Winter is after?

"Well get ready to be expelled, alam naming we can't get you punished sa ginawa mo kay Beom. Pero dito, sa mga pasang to sa mukha ko at sa ginawa mong pag-amin? I can get you punished for that."

Hindi mo alam na may mas sasakit pa pala. 

Parang wala lang sa kanya yung ilang taong paghihintay at panliligaw niya sayo noon. Yung secret hideout and getaway niyo sa school, yung SC storage room and yung mga nakaw niyong sandali sa clubroom nila.

Lahat ng memories niya with you, parang hindi ka minomol sa loob ng unit mo, tangina nakalimutan ba niyang binigay mo ang sarili mo sa kanya as a birthday gift nung nagdebut sya! Sinulatan ka pa nga niya ng kanta. Paano naman yung mga i love you niya sayo, wala na rin bang meaning yon sa kanya?

Bakit ang dali lang sa kaniyang sabihin yon? Perhaps, hindi niya na maalala na she promised na she's going to cook you breakfast everyday kapag nagstart ka ng magtrabaho. Nakalimutan niya na bang she always say that she feels lucky dahil you chose her?

Does that mean you succeeded at making her hate you?

Does she hate you now the way you've been hating yourself too?

You held back your tears when you are left all alone sa hallway. No shoulder to cry on, no one to turn to and nothing to hold onto.

Wala ka na talagang pinanghahawakan sa kanya. Kung hindi pa man enough yung kagabi, ito agad ang salubong sayo.

Dineny ka lang naman kasi ni Winter.

It dawned on you, baka she's not in love with you anymore.

Kaya siguro ang dali sa kanya na itanggi ka, afterall ikaw naman ang may kagagawan ng lahat ng ito.

You just ing lost her for the nth time and you really hated to accept na hindi ka na niya mahal.

She's already moved on from you and doesn't need you habang ikaw, you remained stranded.

 

Cause what I don't understand

Is why I'm feeling so bad now

When I know it was my idea.

I could've just denied all the truth and lied.

But why am I the only one standing stranded

On the same ground?

 

-

 

Dasurv charot hahahaha 

Kamusta naman kayo? Hehehe konting kembot nalang MPM... Yayyyyy patapos naaaaa 🤣🎊🎊🎊😭