Title: “Love is…”

Author: Chiiryu Jung

Date created: July 22nd, 2012

Date posted: July 22nd, 2012

Genre: Drama/ Angst/ PG

Pairing: JYJ/ Yunjae

Jaejoong sits on the edge of his bed. His eyes fixed to the glassed wall to the scenery below his new apartment. He doesn’t think anything. He doesn’t even know what he’s looking at.

“Hyuuuuuuuuunnnnggggg!” Junsu’s dolphin voice is shaking the entire apartment when he slams Jaejoong’s bedroom door. “Jaejoong Hyung, I'm coming~”

“Hi, Hyung,” Yoochun pops out from Junsu’s back and sends the elder a greasy smile.

Jaejoong slowly turns around and smiles. “Hey, you are coming,”

Junsu and Yoochun stare at their Hyung for a while before the one of them comeback to reality and smiles toothily while shrug their shoulder. They saw it.

“Hyung, I'm hungry!” Junsu jumps onto Jaejoong’s bed and gives the elder a puppy eyes that he need to be recharged by Jaejoong’s cook. “Will you cook for your cute little dongsaeng?”

“You haven’t eat, have you?” Yoochun asks with sad eyes even though he beams everyone with smile.

“How do you know?” Jaejoong laughs as he stands and walks to the door. “Okay, I will cook,”

Junsu drops his smiles and aegyo as soon as Jaejoong leaves the bedroom. Yoochun sighs as he throws his head backward. “We know you won’t eat anything if we don’t force you, Hyung,” he says to the empty air.

Junsu clutches Jaejoong’s pillow and stares to the view Jaejoong stared a view minutes ago. “…What do you think they are doing now, Chun?” Junsu whispers softly to the pillow.

Yoochun turns to look at Junsu and glances to the scenery also, like there will be an answer. “Unfortunately I don’t know Su…”

“Chun, do you think we can meet with Yu…?”

“Su,” Yoochun cuts Junsu off short as he flashes his face to Junsu. “Junsu, please don’t say their names here. Remember their names are taboo to be spoken in front of Jaejoong Hyung, especially his…”

Junsu closes his mouths, his eyes glitters. Yeah, he still doesn’t forget how Jaejoong break down so much whenever they mentioned Yunho and Changmin’s name. There is a moment back then when Jaejoong refused to eat and keep drank alcohols for a full week just because Junsu mentioned Yunho’s name when he sees a product which promoted by SM artist. After that Jaejoong lost all of his muscles and drop his weight quite a lot.

“…okay…” Junsu mutters sadly. “I just… I whish we can meet them even just in a flash of time…”

Yoochun gazes to the far away scenery. “I whish we able to,”

It takes some silent minutes for the both of them in their minds before Yoochun regains his sense back and snaps the other’s trance. He was convincing that they are okay, or they have to be okay in front of their Hyung, before walk out the room with wide smile plastering their faces. They are approaching the elder who relaxing his own with some sizzling pans and boiling pots.

“Hyung, what dish are you making?” Junsu chirps happily, tries to distract his earlier thoughts with the fantastic smells of Jaejoong’s cooks.

“Smells good,” Yoochun butted in, also peaks from Junsu’s shoulder.

“I made tteokbeokki,” Jaejoong smiles to the churning red sauce.

Junsu and Yoochun take a slight glimpse to the elder before exchange a stare. They quickly add. “Sounds good! I'm hungry already!” They are faking a smile. ‘Because this is his favorite food, right, Hyung?’

They quickly put on their mask again and clean the dirty dishes. Then help the elder prepare the kimchi pancakes and organize the plates on the table. The slightly gesture isn’t escape from Junsu and Yoochun eyes. For some reason, Jaejoong doesn’t that care about the almost burnt pancakes even they know this is Jaejoong’s favorite dishes. Jaejoong only take care of the spicy rice cakes and only put the pot on the table while Junsu and Yoochun bring the rice bowl and the pancakes.

“Let’s dig in!” Junsu squeals happily.

“I'm eating~” Dandy Yoochun claps his hands and grabs some kimchi pancakes with a bunch of steamed rice into his mouth before he lets out a strange sound of how delicious Jaejoong’s cook is.

Jaejoong smiles at his dongsaeng behavior. But he has no appetite to eat. He just stares at the red liquid sauce and the delicious tteokbeokki inside the bowl. He feels hungry. But it's different from hungry when you want munching something. It doesn’t have anything with the food. His heart is hungry. He feels lost. There is something missing. Something…

‘This is his favorite food,’ Jaejoong smiles to the tteokbeokki and glances to the windows. The drizzle starts to take a visit of his windows. ‘What is he doing now? Is he eating a tteokbeokki too? Did he eat properly?’

Junsu stops eating when he realizes his Hyung wasn’t eating a single bite. He looks up then follows Jaejoong’s stare.

‘He likes the rainy days too, right, Hyung?’ Junsu smiles bitterly, knowing what is running through Jaejoong’s mind.  ‘What are you thinking now, Hyung? You are thinking about him, right? You are missing him, right? If… Just if you said your feeling to him before we go, Hyung…’

“Jaejoong Hyung, don’t you eat? You have to try this! This is seriously daebak,” Yoochun cuts both of their thoughts.

“Babo Chun, of course he knew the taste. He was the one who made this,” Junsu says mockingly and continues dig in his bowl.

“You guys eat. I'm okay…” Jaejoong smiles.

Junsu and Yoochun stops eating as their smiles instantly disappear and munch slowly. They are looking at the elder who keep staring blankly at the rice cake in front of him. Sometimes Jaejoong will smile then blinking slowly but nothing he does beside that. Junsu and Yoochun close their eyes in hurt. After five minutes passes Yoochun slams his chopstick on the marble table, startling Junsu.

“Hyung! You can’t be like this!” Yoochun yells at the elder. Jaejoong looks up with questioned face. “Hyung, just say it, you love him and want he walk away from SME! Why you keep torturing yourself?!!”

“Yoochun…” Junsu mutters, confuses.

“Junsu, let me talk!” Yoochun shrugs Junsu’s hand on his elbow and looks back at Jaejoong’s direction. “Yes, Hyung. I am the one who keep telling Junsu not to mention Yunho Hyung’s name in front of you,”

Jaejoong flinches when the name reaches his ears. He looks down at the red rice cakes on his bowl. His heart beats fast and the bitter taste crawls his throat, pushes the hot liquid into his lids.

“I know you keep thinking about him. You are thinking about Changmin and Yunho Hyung, yeah, even Cassie knew it. Cassie knew you monitoring them. Cassie knew you keep your eyes on their activities. They even knew that you keep using every single piece of Yunho Hyung’s accessories he had been wear. They knew you love him, Hyung. They knew what your reaction every time there is rumor about Yunho Hyung! You WILL react!”

Junsu looks down then turns his eyes to the elder of the three. Jaejoong braves his self to keep staring at Yoochun while the tears forming in his lids. The youngest feels break when sees it, but this is the truth and he can’t let Jaejoong keeps drowning in his sadness.