숨죽여서지켜볼수밖에난
그저그럴수밖에없어깨질까봐
I can only watch you while holding my breath
I can only do so cause it might break

That night Sunggyu dreams of a train. It’s old and rickety, an ancient steam train, wheels turning, cogs clanking with every puff forward. But it’s powerful, it’s large engine propelling the carriages forward at a steady rate, it’s great mechanical heart beating furiously to keep the train running on time to its schedule (what schedule, Sunggyu wonders). It’s loud and noisy, but somehow, the sound is comforting and frighteningly lonely at the same time.

Sunggyu slowly blinked his eyes opened and looked down, noticing that he was dressed in a suit – white shirt, black blazer and a skinny black tie. His hair was swept away from his forehead, styled elegantly into casual twists.

Sunggyu shifts in his seat, suddenly aware of his surroundings. Carefully, he inspects his surroundings with wide eyes, taking in every detail of the inner carriage. He notices everything, every detail from the muted green leather of the seats to the worn brown armrests to the minute cracks in the walls. There are seats grouped together, facing one another, each chair designed to fit two people, and Sunggyu even notices the old metal bars of the luggage rack situated above the seats on the walls. He takes in the sight of a dozen globular plastic lights screwed into the ceiling and he sees that there are fans bolted into the ceiling, aged metal making up the bars that enclosed the fan’s metal arms.

Sunggyu turns his attention back to the seats and realises that he’s not alone. There are two other people in the carriage and they’re also dressed in formal clothes, one situated in the seat a row in front of him, and another slightly to the left. The man sitting in the row in front of him is young and exceedingly handsome, about the same height as Sunggyu. Sunggyu notices with a shiver that his eyes are frighteningly cold and icy, and that his stare has no emotion in it. The other man radiates a completely different aura. He is tall, with chubby cheeks and he has a languid air about him, as if he couldn’t be more relaxed.

Sunggyu isn’t sure what to do, but he hesitates when he notices the first man watching him, and decides to let his curiosity get the better of him.

“Um, excuse me, but who are you?” Sunggyu asks unsurely, and he’s surprised when the other man gets up to plop himself down on the seat next to Sunggyu and answers back,

“We’re your companions, of course!”

“Companions?” Sunggyu tilts his head to one side in confusion.

“Yup, your companions on this train. I’m Lee Sungyeol, by the way,” the other man grins with a cheeky smile, “and that expressionless statue over there is Kim Myungsoo.”

Myungsoo nods slightly, still not breaking his gaze, and Sunggyu is starting to feel slightly uncomfortable. He introduces himself to the other two, still not too sure as to what was going on, but from the way Sungyeol talked to Myungsoo, it seemed the other two already knew each other quite well. Feeling confused, Sunggyu decides to ask another question,

“Where are we going?”

Sunggyu is surprised when Myungsoo’s expression softens ever so slightly as he answers,

“We’re on the train to paradise. The true paradise, I might daresay.”

Sungyeol nods in confirmation as he turned around to face Sunggyu,

“This train is headed to only one destination only. Paradise. The Paradise where we’re supposed to go, the Paradise that comes after life.”

Finally Sunggyu understands.

“D-Does that mean you two are also..?” he asks softly.

Myungsoo nods, his expression turning sad, and Sungyeol turns his face away. And it’s at this moment, that Sunggyu thinks that maybe Myungsoo’s not so expressionless after all and that maybe Sungyeol’s not as carefree as he looks.

”Oh…” Sunggyu whispered, regretting that he ever asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Sungyeol sighs, his voice thick with emotion, “there’s nothing we can do about it. At least I’ve still got Myungsoo.”

“But, why am I here?” Sunggyu asks.

“You’re not.” Myungsoo says gently, as he gazes sadly at Sunggyu, “you’re not really here yet, not until he decides to let you go.”

Sunggyu feels tears prick at his eyes at Myungsoo’s words, because he knows they’re true. This was only a fleeting glimpse of the true paradise, and Sunggyu feels the tears spill when he realises that he’s trapped in a mere shadow of the true paradise, he’s locked in a mockery of what Woohyun imagines to be paradise.

And even as he realises this, Sunggyu can feel Woohyun’s presence pulling on him, dragging him back to his side, and as the surroundings of the carriage start to blur, Sunggyu lets the tears fall hopelessly as he is chained back to Nam Woohyun’s heart.

“I’m sorry.” Sungyeol says softly, as Sunggyu is pulled away.

Sunggyu woke up with a gasp as cold icy tears ran down his pale cheeks. He recognised the room, he knew where this was. Sunggyu’s breath hitched and choked as he curled into a huddle, crying into his knees as he felt the full horror and loneliness of his imprisonment bear down on him, crying until he couldn’t cry anymore, until he couldn’t shed any more icy tears, and it was then that Sunggyu found himself next to Woohyun’s bed, staring in grief at the solitary figure curled up under the blankets.

“I can only watch you like this, Woohyun,” Sunggyu whispered, his voice hoarse from crying, “I can’t do anything more.”

Slowly he laid down next to Woohyun, as he studied the peaceful sleeping face.

“If I leave, I’m afraid I might break you.” He leant in and curled himself next to Woohyun and closed his eyes.

“But if I don’t, I’ll be the one to break.” Sunggyu whispered as he felt a fresh set of tears cascade down his tear-stained cheeks.

“Please don’t do this to me, Woohyun.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Guys, just so you know, I probably won't be updating as often now. School starts this Thursday (IKR! THURSDAY, NOT MONDAY?) and HOMFG ASFJHDSIGVNDSVJH IT'S MY FINAL YEAR AND I'M GONNA BE SO STRESSED OUT AND . Like seriously, I need a freaking high study score to get into the uni of my choice. 

But, I'll try write when I have free time, and hopefully, I'll get Dance with the Devil, A Time Limited Life, and Train to Paradise finished by winter (June). I'm not gonna create any new fanfics until I'VE FINISHED EVERYTHING ELSE.

Seriously, guys, don't be afraid to like spam my wall for an update or threaten me with a lack of Woogyu stories to make me update.

I LOVE YOU GUYS! (In a non-ual way of course. But, y'know, if you're that desperate, I'm willing to consider ;D )

On another note, did you guys notice how Woohyun needs and craves Sunggyu to the point that he's beginning to lose his mind? And that Woohyun's control and obsession over Gyu is making him depressed? In case, people didn't understand, there are two 'Paradises'. The true Paradise which is where the train is heading, and Woohyun's twisted mockery of what he believes is Paradise. And we're introduced to MYUNGYEOL!