흔들흔들위태로워보여도난
너를잡아둘수밖에없어어쩌자고
Even if I look shaky and dangerous
I can only hold you in, what now?

Sunggyu sat slumped in the corner, illuminated by a small beam of light shining in from the outside, as Woohyun walked past him in a daze. He inclined his head to the side, his small eyes following every movement his lover made. He watched the way Woohyun’s shirt hugged his chest whenever he took a step, and the way his legs would extend elegantly to move forward. He gazed longingly at Woohyun’s back as the latter shuffled past to enter the dark corridor of their house. Sunggyu sighed and let his head fall back to lean against the whitewashed walls, caramel hair brushing over his eyes.

“I want to touch you so much,” he whispered as he stared after the disappearing figure of Woohyun’s form, his hands pressed against his side as he looked yearningly past the dark corridor, “even if it makes me look shaky and dangerous, I still want you so much.”

He hated this. Being unable to touch the one he loved the most, and being unable to comfort him when he needed comfort. He could only sit by Woohyun’s side and watch as the younger man was drawn deeper into his spiral of despair. 

He had spent the previous night standing by Woohyun’s bedside, just watching him, studying the curve of his lips, the contours of his face, and tracing the sharp edges of his jawline, his hands clenched as he wrestled with the desire within himself. He wanted to touch Woohyun so badly, to run his hands through his soft black hair, and to caress that strong jawline like he had done for so many nights, but no matter how hard he tried, he never truly could.

They were separated by more than just air, but by the colossal difference between their worlds, and the shaky void that divided life and death into two individual entities that were unable to touch but still affected each other.

So he had simply stood there and watched over Woohyun as he slept. He’s tired of course, which is kind of ironic considering that he doesn’t really need to sleep anymore, but this tiredness can’t be explained. It’s the sort of fatigue that seeps into your very soul, the exhaustion that comes with being stretched too far and too thin, anchored to a world you don’t belong in.

He watched as Woohyun lets out a little sigh and shifts onto his other side, muscular arms curling over to hug his pillow. Sunggyu’s heart breaks a little when he sees this, recalling the times when it had been him curled inside those arms and him pressed against that body.

∞

Sunggyu held back a low moan as Woohyun hit his sweet spot with deadly accuracy, hands fisted tightly in the smooth white sheets as his lover ed passionately into him. Woohyun let a shaky breath when he felt Sunggyu’s tight walls clench around his length and leant down to brush a kiss against Sunggyu’s soft lips, murmuring sweet words of love, as he rocked his body rhythmically against the older man’s hips, losing himself in Sunggyu’s sweet warmth.

Later on they’re lying in bed, bodies pressed against one another and tangled in the cold silk sheets. Sunggyu’s curled against Woohyun’s chest, and the younger male has his arms wrapped tightly around Sunggyu’s waist. He smiles when he feels Sunggyu’s soft lips nuzzling against his neck and runs his hand lovingly through the older man’s caramel hair, and he can’t help but confess the overpowering emotion that’s rising in his heart and spilling from his throat.

“I love you.” Woohyun whispered as he tightens his embrace around Sunggyu’s warm body, his lips pressed against the soft caramel-coloured hair, and he feels Sunggyu’s lips curve into a smile against his neck.

“I know,” Sunggyu replied, as he tilted his head back to look into Woohyun’s eyes. Woohyun smiled and brought his head down slightly. “I love you too.” Sunggyu murmured as he leant up to press a kiss against Woohyun’s lips.

“I always will.”

∞

Sunggyu let his head fall to one side, as he looked out at the light. He turned his head slightly, but Woohyun had already left the room, leaving him sitting alone in the corner. He gazed sorrowfully after the last traces of his lover, and mouthed after him,

“I love you, Woohyun.” He felt tears well up in his eyes as he continued, “You know I always will. So why are you still holding me in here?”

Sunggyu sighed again as he turned his teary eyes off towards the distance.

“I love you,” he murmured again, “but what am I supposed to do now?”