PUSH AND PULL

Lipstick Stain

THE NEXT DAY. 

The lover girl woke up earlier than usual to carry out the plan she was thinking before hitting the sack last night. She was rather struggling to get a lot of brilliant ideas all because the woman of her life was sleeping with her, she's both inspired and pressured at the same time. She's still couldn't believe that she just spent two straight nights with Sowon. 

 

"Unnie?" The younger girl staring carefully at the sleeping beauty beside her. 

 

"Hmm?" Sowon nudged a bit while Yerin is now caressing Sowon's right pinkish cheek. She thought to herself. "How can she be this beautiful early in the morning? She's making it hard for me to breathe!" Clearly, Yerin started her day falling head over heels in love with Sowon. 

 

"Unnie, are you that happy?" She now leaned in closer as Sowon moved a bit, opening her eyes, meeting the younger girls'.


"Happy? Why do you ask?" She smiled sleepily. 


"Ahmm.. aren't you?"


Sowon laughed softly. "Of course, I'm happy. :)"  


"I would know. You're smiling like an idiot, you're smiling a lot." 


"hahaha! It's because you got me smiling on my sleep." Sowon being cheesy this early morn. 


Yerin blushed. "I do? :D"


"I hate to admit it but yes, you do make me happy." Sowon admitted, her eyes tell it all. 


"Well, I'm happier to know that. ;)"


As if some cold wind brushes their room. Sowon suddenly went silent. She wore a worried face, then she uttered. 


"But..is it really enough? If we make someone happy? If we're happy?" She thought, making Yerin bothered about the unexpected question.
"Hmm, well. Isn't that what matters? Happiness is rare, and we found that with each other. I love you 
unnie. And you do make me happy." Yerin quickly hugged Sowon, refraining Sowon from answering. Still bothered from yet another indirect from her. Whenever she' s with Sowon, she's either in cloud nine or in a boat of anxiety. Is there something the younger girl needs to confront? 

 

"I know.. I'm sorry, I was just, yeah. Nevermind." Sowon muttered, a little guilt pounded her heart. Today is another day that she will spend with her lover girl and the memory of last night greeted her this early morning, her mind froze on the scene when Yerin and her had their first kiss. It was soft, passionate, eager and overwhelming. The older girl just couldn't keep her mind calm from all the stirring moments she's having with Yerin. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Yes, yes I understand. Thank you. I'll let them know." 


"Unnie? What did they say?" SinB eagerly asked staring at Sowon who now hanged up the call. 


"Well, manager-nim called to remind us that we only have today and tomorrow left for this break." Sowon sighed. 


"Ahh, yes that'sright.. I should be happy but why do I feel like I'm not." Yuju pouted, hugging Umji. 


"I know unnie, well we have obviously enjoyed this week and a lot had happened and it was fun being on a break after all." The maknae patting Yuju on her left shoulder. 


"Unnie, what shall we do then?" Eunha asked rather excited. 

 

"Well, we just to continue with the activities we have planned. After lunch, we'll do Spin the Bottle again. And after that, everyone will watch some movies . And we have to also study English after that." Sowon laid down everything they have to do for the day. 

 

"Alright, unnie!" Everyone responded in a chorus as they all headed to the kitchen. 

 

"But where is Yerin?" Sowon whispered to herself. She then went inside their room, where she saw Yerin smiling widely. Holding a cute white box, waving it to Sowon. 


"Uh? What are you doing? What's that?" Sowon asked wondering. 


"Unnie, come here." 


"Okay, but tell me what's that first?" She kept on staring at the small on Yerin's hand. 


"Unniee? Don't you see? This is a present for you!." Yerin pouted, forcibly handing in her small yet precious gift. 


"Aaahh! Oh, sorry. I thought you're trying to show me something." Sowon laughed. 


"Ugh, you're really a meanie unnie, I was so excited about this and you just laughed at me." Yerin pouted grabbing back the small box. 


"Uh! No! This is mine, you can't take it back." The older girl leaned in closer raising her eyebrows playfully. 


"You should be thankful I love you! I thought really hard what to give you last night." Yerin pouted. 


":( really? I'm sorry, I was just playing around." Sowon then hugged Yerin from the side, slowly and excitedly opening the rectangular box. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


"Uh? Lipstick? Kyaaaa! This is my favorite color! Yerin-ah,gomawo!!!" 


"I'm glad you liked it. :) I bought some cosmetics last week and thought that that has a pretty color. I didn't know I'll give this to you. Your smile will look even prettier, that's for sure. :D" 


"Thank you. ;) I wasn't expecting but this is a sweet gift, I'll use it well. :D" Sowon put the lipstick back in the box, with a smile fixed on her face. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________

The afternoon tasks and activities went well. Gaining the girls more knowledge about each other. :) And evening just came in so quickly, the time of the day that has been a friend of their concealed moments. The two girls once again settled on Sowon's bunk, enjoying each other's embrace and scents. 

"Unnie, how do you feel?"


"Hmm, safe."


"Safe?"


"Yes, safe in your arms."


"Safe from what?"


"From my doubts and fears."


The short instant exchange from each other was distracted by that reply of Sowon.


Yerin slowly pulled away from the hug, examining the look on Sowon's face, asking for the girl to further explain. Sowon is a fan of indirects


"You know..(trying to gather all the words her mind is struggling to process)


"...everything is so perfect when we're alone. I like it when we're like this, it's peaceful, real and I feel like there's no one who can hurt me. I love your presence next to mine Yerin, I always look forward to evenings when I can be with you and be in each other's faces. It makes me warm and ...safe." Sowon doing her best. 


"Why unnie? Is there something you're afraid of?" Yerin trying to understand the older girls statement. 


"People. Media. Management. The members. Everyone...including myself. Yerin, I am so afraid of this new world we're in, not knowing what awaits us. I am just so scared that if we'll keep doing this.. we'll be in a complicated situation." 


"I.. understand. I guess loving someone will always be not smooth-sailing. Unnie, what do you want us to do?" Yerin felt like her heart sank from Sowon's admission but trying to be brave. 


"Yerin-ah, see.. I don't want to say this but, I think we have to take things much slower this time. I mean.. ugh."


"Shhh, you don't have to talk more unnie, I totally understand. I'm okay.. just give me time." Yerin knew where this is going, she bit her lower lip, hoping her tears will not roll down her face. 

 

Sowon, on the other hand, felt like she's the worst person in the world. She hates to hurt Yerin but she couldn't let things to just blew out of proportion because they're too aggressive and reckless about the concept of love. While looking at the younger girl guilty. she recalled the moment she made a deal with herself. "No, I won't. I can't let this happen. It'll be difficult, we will just end up hurting each other. I should stop here. Sowon, you have to stop it."


Sojung actually had a long-held attraction to Yerin too. All these years, the second unnie has been special to her. She just neglected the fact that she gets butterflies every time Yerin would approach her. That Yerin makes her happy unconsciously. That Yerin makes her feel valued and how much comfort that brings to her. But Sowon can't let her heart win, all because she didn't want it to distract her from her responsibilities of being the leader, the leader of the girl group she values so much. She needed to erase whatever she has for the younger girl. She was also feeling Yerin all along and that's why her heart was jumping for joy when Yerin confessed to her. For a while, she thought that ignoring her feelings will make a difference and that she's doing well denying Yerin for herself, but she just can't lie. Her secret affection betrayed her. She has fallen in love with Yerin even before the confession. But.. she can't let Yerin know it. 

 

"I just hope I could tell you everything.. Yerin, now it's my time to beg. Please don't resent me. (warm tears starting to form on her eyes) please. This is the last thing I want. (finally letting the tears out) aaaah! I hate myself so much! Yerin, I'm really sorry." Sowon just couldn't be more any sorry. Her heart for Yerin just couldn't be braver. 

 

Yerin sighed heavily. Comforting Sowon with her hug, while her own heart was bruising. 

 

"Could you at least .. tell me you love me?" She uttered with misty eyes. 


"(crying in misery) Yerin-ah, if I tell you I love you, I'll just make this harder for the both us." 


"But I know you do! I can feel it Sowon! I thought we were doing just fine, I am afraid too that if we can't be honest with each other now, then when? I feel like you're being unfair.. why don't you just tell me how you feel?" 


Sowon wanted to burst out already and just scream how much she loves Yerin too. But her heart and mind are making it difficult for her. She doesn't want to ignite a hope in Yerin when she knows her grip is not as tight as hers. 

 

"It's a tug of war, whether to pull away and escape this bizarre sensation and win or to be pushed back and see if I will be really happy to lose. I can't decide yet, Yerin." 


"Is that why you're trying to pull away? To win and save yourself from the pain and hurt me?" Yerin just couldn't take hold of her anger any longer from frustration. 


"That's not fair! I am not trying to save myself from the pain, do you think this is easy for me? Do you think I am not hurting? Yerin, if I let you push me closer, and let my heart defeats me. I'm afraid I couldn't care less and just fall back on your side!"

 

 

 

 

 


"Then fall for me! Let's be losers in love together!" 

 

 


That bold and courageous line shut the both of them speechless. With their eyes marked with tears, minds filled with tempting thoughts and hearts full of burning emotions. Yerin broke the silence. 

She sighed heavily again before speaking. "Maybe that's the solution. If I fight with you every day although we might keep on losing, that's when we will need each other more and that might spare us from getting hurt." Yerin spoke as she quickly hugged the silent girl. Sowon reconsidering everything, she makes another deal with herself. 

 

"Kim Sojung, you need your heart to lead you in Yerin's lane. I could be a winner and loser, either way, I will always need Yerin. So I have to trust us and know that she will be with me all throughout." She then hugged Yerin back, bracing herself for more of their emotional journey.

 

The risk they are about to take will not be easy as they fight against love. Being weak and afraid, they find asylum in each other's arms. Will they win together? Or lose apart?

___________________________________________
I think it's hard for Kpop idols and celebrities, in general, to show who they really love. The world is too cruel and judgemental. But that's love, it's either known or hidden. lol haha. So there you have it! Confrontation it is? haha. I wanted to make
Sowon realize that all she needs is Yerin, that they don't anyone to know about them just yet and just cherish every single moment they share together. So in the next part, she will finally make up her mind. :)

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Thank you!
rrhheeaann
I am now working on some new Wonrin fic but I'm caught with some school stuff, but I will for sure post some few chapter within this month. :D Thank you guys! Please look forward to it! Unnie line hwaiting!

Comments

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artraiya_adein
#1
Chapter 11: No other words can be said. This is an amazing story. ☺️☺️
Soowanie #2
Hello, I very love your fanfiction and also WonRin couple too. So may I translate this fanfiction into Vietnamese on Wattpad. I can leave my account link if you want, thạn you so much! ❤
Soowanie #3
Hello, I very love your fanfiction and also WonRin couple too. So may I translate this fanfiction into Vietnamese on Wattpad. I can leave my account link if you want, thạn you so much! ❤
genhornify
#4
Chapter 11: I enjoyed this fic alot! Thank you!
Wonbislife
#5
Chapter 11: A rare unnie-line gem that needs a re read, aaah, authornim, you're great, my heart is full. :)
shallot #6
Chapter 11: I’m glad to hear that you’re having a new wonrin fiction. The story went on naturally and enticing and the end was warming and sweet. Thank you for your hard work. Love <3
PessoaAleatoria
#7
Chapter 11: oh gosh theyre cute together i wonder why people dont write about them that often
and also, i'm looking forward to your new wonrin fic!
shallot #8
Chapter 10: thank you for updating :) I feel sad for them but I hope Yerin and other members will make the leader feel safe again.
PessoaAleatoria
#9
Chapter 10: omg thats really sad, it must be so hard for kpop idols
shallot #10
Chapter 9: Starting the day with cuddling made me sure that it gonna be sweet. I laughed out because of shipper Umji. This chapter made my heart explode again and again! I was excited waiting for their answer and finally they kissed asdfghhjkl