Hakyeon-ah...are you doing fine up there?are you...happy?'as Leo asked these questions in his head,his eyes starts to pour out fresh streams of tears,heart clenching painfully.

His grip tightened around the pen hesitating for a bit on the thought of having to  write his final message to his 'life long friend'.

*Dear Hakyeon,

My life long friend.I'm sorry.
Sorry for not being there for you.
Sorry that i ignored you and gave you the cold shoulder since we were trainees .
Also for Not paying more attention to you as you tried hard just to get mine.

I read your letter.Hyuk handed it to me.I felt hurt.I cried.

Because I didn't know you were suffering.

And that I've added more to it by treating you the way i did.

You never complained.You never gave up until yesterday when you took your own life.When you removed your existence from our world,the presence in our lives permanently.

You just smile.laugh.Treating our insults and disrespect towards you as if they were jokes.I find it surprising considering that I couldn't listen to them with patience and a smile to shrug it off.

You're an angel hakyeon ah...
Kind.
Caring.
Compassionate.
Selfless.

Once again,I'm sorry that i have never said anything nice to you.I'm Sorry that i was one of those who contributed to your already overwhelming pains.Never paying any attention to you or your health when your in distress or sick.

To be honest.
Nobody could tell that you are sick or in distress.You're too good in hiding them.

Now i wonder if all the times that you disappeared from the dorms for 4 days to a week is because that you were either sick or...depressed and not because of your 'schedule'.

We're too late.I'm too late.

I realised that me,us,apologizing to you now is certainly futile
Its not going to bring you back to us.

I miss you,Hakyeon ah...
I wish that i could turn back time.
Turn back time to treat you better.Care more for you.Be there for you during the times that you are suffering.To tell you that you are not alone.

You felt really lonely didn't you?
I still wonder if you're alone wherever you are now...i hope not...maybe you made friends,friends that don't abandon you to suffer alone like i did.

I'm the worst.

I'm sorry.I know you didn't want to look at myself this way but I couldn't help it.

Please take care,hakyeon.

I love you.

Love,
Jung Taek Woon.*

He sat still for a moment after finishing his letter.

'Hakyeon ah...have you seen how hard it rained today?I think the sky is also mourning for your death like how we all were.' Leo asked in his mind.

Afterwards ,he puts his pen away,folding and placing the tear stained letter into a pure white envelope before going to bed to try getting a decent rest.

To be continued....