“Everybody gets a second chance, right?” The same question that you ask me for past few night while staring at the starry night sky.

Of course, as always, I didn’t give you any answers. 

You don’t even need an answer after all.

You stretches your hand as you try to grab the stars.

“Ya! shooting star,” I whispered then you turns your head to me while I stare at the moving star.

You close your eyes, put both of your hands in front of your chest, and starting to pray. It hurts because I know what you are praying for even though you're not telling me. 

“I hope, you’ll love me someday,” I said clearly before leaving you on the balcony. 

Every day I'm trying to be the best girlfriend for you, but this night, from tonight I need to rest. I need you to know that I have feelings too; I need you to know that I’m hurting inside, that I'm tired of all of this.

I always knock, but you never let me in.
You block me with a labyrinth..

And I’m lost in your labyrinth.

“Wan,” You call my name, your brown hair swaying along with your step, closer and closer to me. I can see glistening liquid in the corner of your beautiful eyes. I reach your face, hold you softly as you're the most fragile thing and I'm afraid to break it.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” You lean to my touch, and I bring you to our bed. I pull you into my embrace, and kiss the crown of your head. 

Why? Why are you crying?

Why? Why do I feel an uneasy feeling in my heart, the feeling of losing something?

“Tell me, love,” You snuggle to my chest, and circling your arms around my waist, mumbling something as I continue kissing your crown, hoping will make you feel better. Once again, I’m being the tough Seungwan. Seungwan who can’t see you cry, Seungwan who willing to do everything only to make you happy, and still Seungwan who will only be Bae Joohyun’s punching bag.

The more you hurt me, the more I love you.

That's Son Seungwan's logic.

“I’m sorry,” You speak once again, a little bit clearer. You're staring at my eyes. I want to remember your eyes. Your beautiful eyes. The eyes where I can see the world— unfortunately, a world with no place for me in it.

I can sense your hands moving. You kissed me.

You're kissing me goodbye.

You're trying to pull out the proudly standing ring that circling your left hand’s ring finger.

But I stop you before it completely loose from your finger. You're looking at me with tears streaming down on your cheeks, your red eyes says an unspoken apology while I give you my reassuring smile even though if your ears sensitive enough you’ll hear cracks sound from inside my chest while stopping you from doing it.

“I’m the one who put it, so I’m the one who should pull it too,” I say while holds your hand with my trembling hand, slowly, I did it as I stabbing my own heart, until it bleeds, as it completely broke when the ring isn’t on your finger anymore.

I smiled in tears. I can’t hide it. Now you’re the one who wiped my tears, soothing me, whispering to me. 

“I talked to her, a few days ago,” I tell you that I met her, the love of your life. I tell you if I told her about your condition, about your wish, about your feelings. She was crying, just like you now. She said she’s still in love with you, and won’t disturb us, but it feels like I’m the one who's being an obstacle between you and her. 

My shirt starting to get wet because of your tears, I tell you if you were right, everyone has their second chance. So do that woman; Seulgi.

You’re staring at me, the longest staring as a married couple for 3 years.

I get up from the bed, try my best to erase the hurt and sad feeling from my face; I give you my signature smirk. I’ve told you before, I promised you too, that I’ll go from your life if you want me to.

Right now...

I got your message, and I can’t promise I’ll be there for you anymore from now on.
I love you and you don’t.
You have my heart but I’m not.

I change my clothes while you're following me. 

“Seulgi will come here. I don’t know when, but I’m sure she will. She has a lot of things to say,” You're surprised as your eyes widened with glimpse of happiness. A happiness that I've never seen in our 3 years of marriage. Even so, it brings smile to my lips. How beautiful you are, how lucky Seulgi are.

“You’ll leave me?” You're asking me while I'm looking around the bedroom, trying to remember the detail of the room, the room which I share with you.

I feel suffocated, I swear this is the worst thing happens in my life. But, once again I remember, I’m the tough Seungwan, and I hums to answer your question. 

“You’ll be back, right?” You're panicking and get up from the bed; walking to my diraction. I give you a bitter smile. I’m sorry, it’s already hard for me to breathe, I’ll only shed more tears if I speak. I open my wardrobe to take my suitcases, and I heard a soft gasp; if I’m not misheard of course.

“I—uhm. This.” I can’t face you right now, everything feels so hard and heavy, so I only show you a paper which will answer the entire question in your mind right now. You whisper why and why; crying— which makes me cry too. 

“I—! I don’t ask you to choose who. I know who I am to you, since the first time we built this relationship. I’ve always trying and trying to get your heart— trying to convince myself if all the things will be alright at the right time— yet in the end, all the beautiful future with you which is always in my fantasy won’t come. It hurts. How my Iov— my own wife gives someone the stare that I longing. How I became so pathetic?” I said, sobbing hard, sometimes I bit my lips hard to compress my sob until it’s bleeding, but still, try to tell you all my feeling all this time.

“I don’t see my reason to be here anymore, but, I treasure this memory, forever. Because it will beat faster and faster saying your name out loud,” I tapped my chest before bidding goodbye.
You remained silent. When I looking up, you hug me, the warmest hug that I’ve ever have from you. 

“You won’t do something stupid, right?” You whispered while looking into my eyes and holding both of my hand tightly. 
“Take our wedding ring from your finger was the most stupid thing that I did— but, the best decision that I’ve ever made in my life,” I whispered, losing my hand from your grip; ready to go.

“Do you really have to go to Canada? That far?” I shook my head. “Farther than Canada— if I could. Lost the love of my life breaks my heart, Juhyun,” I wear my dark brown coat, hat and bring my suitcases. The taxi is waiting for me.

“Jebal— take care, Wan. Find your happiness. Move on, there’s a lucky person somewhere who supposed to taking care by and of you,” You said while giving me the last back hug. I nodded as my tears fell because I know if my happiness lett