CHAPTER 2

Haneul’s POV

A month had passed and I still feel the same. People would still call me worthless and unworthy of everything. Why do they even hate me so much? When I was a kid, I thought that there’s no such thing as hate, only unicorns, glitters and love. I wish I didn’t have to grow up. Maybe I wouldn’t feel this way.

After the talk I had with Seongwoo, I guess we became friends? I don’t know. I mean, I opened up to him but we only talk when he’s not with Daniel or his groups of friends who by the way, are bullies. Why is he friends with those kinds of people?

“awww! It’s raining! Isn’t school suspended for today?” Baekhyun whined.

“It’s just rain.” I said. You can all hate the rain all you want but I love it. It keeps me relieve and calm. I love how the droplets just drops from the sky then scatter and never found again. I want that. Disappear and never to return.

“But Mom just bought my white shoes” He whined again.

“Wow! You and your problems” I said in sarcasm.

“Okay, that’s it! I’m skipping classes today.”

“What???”

“What? It’s raining. I bet 80% of the student body will not show up in school today” He said.

“Yeah because 80% of the student body is probably spoiled kids who doesn’t think that they’re wasting their parents’ money for tuition fees” I said, grabbed my bag and left.

Okay, Baekhyun is my cousin and I love him but GOD HE IS SPOILED AND SOMETIMES I WANT TO SLAP HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE.

As I walk to school, with my shoes all wet, these thoughts just kept on running to my mind. What is the best way to kill yourself? Is there a way that I won’t feel any pain? If I hang myself, I would feel myself choking and that’s gonna be painful. If I slit my wrist and bathe with my own blood that’s just going to be traumatizing for the person who’s gonna find me. If I let myself get rolled over by a bus, the law would just think that it’s the driver’s fault and will lock him in jail and be miserable, I don’t want that. If I jump from the school’s rooftop, my body would be crushed and my intestines will just pop out from my body and I want to be beautiful in my funeral so that’s a no. How am I going to kill myself???

“Hello? Earth to Haneul?” Sehun waved his hand in front of me. “You’re zoning out. What are you thinking?”

“Let’s say, you want to kill yourself .. how would you do it?” I asked Sehun. Sehun is pretty but he’s also clueless about things.

“Why would I kill myself?” He asked.

“I didn’t say you’re gonna kill yourself. Just … what if?? For my assignment” I said.

“Well, first, you’re taking a weird subject, I suggest you drop out from that class. Second, I’m not gonna kill myself because I’m not stupid.” Sehun said.

“What?”

“I’m not stupid. I’m also not a loser. Also not weak. Suicide is for those kinds of people who doesn’t have any friends because they just at it”

“But … what if, that person do have friends” I added, trying not to get hurt on whatever he was saying.

“Then why would that person kill himself? If he wants to kill himself then he’s an immature frog. He have friends! He’