CHAPTER 1

Haneul's POV

People think that my life is perfect. I have friends to lean on and a family who supports me. Hate to break it to you, you are all wrong. You see, my life isn’t just about sugar, spice and everything nice. It’s also about all the heartbreaks and pain. People tend to see what they only want to see, they ignore the bad ugly things around them. I wish I was more like them, more of a strong person, but I’m not. I can’t ignore the ugly voices inside my head saying I’m not good enough, those voices always tell me to just disappear because I don’t matter. You know what scares me? Those voices are stronger than me.

“Hey! You can’t frown all the time. Smile” Baekhyun oppa said as we both enter the school premises. He’s my cousin and I live with him and his family. Why? Because my parents left me with them. I know I should be grateful that I still have a family but I can’t help to think, what does it feel like living with your own parents and not just relatives?

“How can I even smile with my state?” I replied. They don’t get it. Why do I always have to put up a smile when inside me I already want to cry?

“Luhan … he’s a douche, okay? Move on” He said. Are you just acting as if everything is fine or you don’t really care at all?

Luhan oppa … is my bestfriend. Aside from Jongdae. He’s one of the people I trust the most, and I like him, a lot. He knows how much I like him, he didn’t also tell me to stop liking him because he told me that he likes me more. I thought everything is mutual, I thought we both share the same feeling but where is he now? He just left without saying anything. I could’ve at least heard an apology or an assurance that he’ll be back, but no. He’s gone.

“I’ll meet you at the cafeteria, okay? And seriously, stop being cranky. You’re getting ugly. Bye!” Baekhyun oppa said as he ran to his class. Why are you like that, Oppa? You should be more sensitive but as usual, you utter the most insensitive words. I know you don’t mean it but sometimes it wouldn’t hurt to think first before saying anything.

I went to my first class, biology. I used to love the first class of the first day of the week because Luhan oppa was always with me but as the new semester starts, I find myself sitting alone at the back of the room. Yes, I have friends. Friends of my cousin who didn’t have a choice to be my friends as well. When I moved here, I was hesitant to talk to anyone. I was shy to talk to them. Every day I would go to school with eyes glaring towards me. I don’t have any girl friends, they don’t want to be near me, in fact, and they hate me. They hate me for being too close to my cousin’s friends. On a daily basis I would hear cat callings and shaming. I’m weak. I’m so sorry that I’m weak. No one knows that I’m getting bullied, only Jongdae oppa. But I told him not to tell anyone because I don’t want to look weak. I know I’m weak but I don’t want to look like one.

“Hey, frog face! That’s my place” one named Kang Daniel approached me. Another dude who hates me and every cell in my body because I’m Baekhyun’s cousin. His group and my cousin’s group of friends aren’t really in good condition.

“Says who?” I asked raising an eyebrow

“Move before I drag you from that chair”

“You must’ve been sad, Daniel. All you do is boss people around. You act so tough but I know inside you you’re broken” I whispered in English enough for him to hear. There are few students in this school who can speak English, I and Daniel are one of the few.

“Whatever. You c