The trek to Yoongi’s apartment was silent, each of the two men lost in their own thoughts. So much so that neither realized until walking across the threshold that they were still holding each other's hand. The blonde glanced down and slowly removed his hand, Jungkook rubbing his own on his sweatpants and Yoongi staring at his own for a little longer than necessary. Moving further into the room, the elder waved his hand in the general area of his living room which was only about three feet from his front door.

“Don’t just stand there, take a seat. It’s not like you haven’t been here before.” He rubbed a finger against his nose before turning towards the kitchen and leaving the younger behind to make himself comfortable.

Jungkook nodded, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he shuffled his way over to the dark grey sofa. It was new, that hadn’t been there before. Neither had the matching recliner. Looks like his hyung had finally been able to upgrade, he had always been complaining about how his old couch had a spring in it that just dug right into your back when you laid on it.

“Nice couch hy- uh… nice couch.”

Jungkook couldn’t hear it but he could feel the sigh from his seat on the far end of the couch.

“Jungkook, we’re not strangers. Just call me hyung.”

“Ah, oh, okay… hyung.” his smile was small but he was trying to hide it.

“I’ll make some tea.” He didn’t mean for himself but for Jungkook. Considering the two had known each other since middle school, little preferences like that had long since been learned. Yoongi didn’t drink tea but he had always carried some for when Jungkook came over and just had coffee for himself.

“You have tea? You don’t even drink it.”

Why does he have to remember those details right now? Can’t he just gloss over it? Yoongi didn’t want to admit anything to Jungkook, he just couldn’t handle seeing him cry. He would help feel a bit better and then send him on his way. Yes, that is what he would do.

“Well, I do. So, do you want it or not, kid?”

Nodding his head, Jungkook forgot that Yoongi wasn’t in view and couldn’t see him. Leaning back on the couch, he let his head rest on the back of it and closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment of actually being back in the on place he had missed for so long.

“Please.”

Jungkook had never thought this would be possible again. He remembered once more just how much he had truly missed his hyung. He didn’t think this would be a permanent development but even just this one day was enough. At least that is what he would keep telling himself as soon as he left Yoongi’s apartment.

“And maybe it’s three years old.” The elder said just loud enough for Jungkook to hear but also made it sound like he was trying to hide that fact.

Three.

Two.

And there it was,

“Hyung!”

Yoongi chuckled as he waited for the tea kettle, yes he had one thanks to Jungkook years ago, boil and dug around for the old whale diffuser that the younger had also forced upon him so that he could drink tea at his place. It took rooting through three drawers and a cabinet before he finally found it. Giving it a quick wash, just to be on the safe side, he scooped some of the loose leaf chai or something tea, putting it into the diffuser. Grabbing a mug from his cabinet next to the refrigerator, he placed the whale in it, two scoops of sugar before placing the spoon down on the counter and moving over to the other counter where he’d be able to view into the living room and see the younger.

“Just kidding. It’s not that old… Does tea even go bad?”

Yoongi was speaking the last question to himself but Jungkook just shrugged. It wasn’t long before the whistling began to sound. Pushing off the counter he turned back to the stove and removed the kettle from the stove, pouring the boiling water into the mug.

Jungkook was curious as to why Yoongi had tea in his home especially if it wasn’t that old but he didn’t think the elder would answer his question. If maybe Yoongi had someone new in his life who enjoyed tea like Jungkook had. It’s not your business anyway, he thought to himself and it wasn’t. That wasn’t why he had come over, that wasn’t why Yoongi had text him the other night. Hearing the shuffle of his hyung’s feet across the carpet, Jungkook lifted his head up off the back of the couch and opened his eyes.

The blonde set down the mug of tea that had steam rising up from it, onto the coffee table in front of them and then took a seat on the opposite side of the couch. The distance was impossible not to notice but Jungkook tried not to let it bother him. It was only natural.

“Be careful. Let it cool a little first.”

His eyes followed the youngers movements as he had leaned forward to pick up the black mug. It was one that Jungkook had given to Yoongi when he got back from his family trip to Jeju years and years ago. He smiled fondly at the fact that his hyung still used it. The silence that settled between them wasn’t exactly uncomfortable but a cloud was growing above them, darker and larger in size. The unspoken hanging above. Yoongi was stretched out, legs hanging over the couch, feet on the floor, arm lying across the armrest, him sunken into the couch a little bit but his lap was more than inviting for a cat or someone to sit on. His fingers drummed quietly on the edge of the armrest, while Jungkook rested both of his arms on his thighs, leaning towards his tea, occasionally blowing on it as he heeded Yoongi’s words.

“So, you want to tell me what’s going on?”

Taking in a sharp breath, Jungkook held on and didn’t release it until he couldn’t hold on anymore. It wasn’t like he didn’t know this topic was going to be broached but that didn’t mean he was ready for it.

“What do you mean?”

Would he ever be ready for it? The answer to that was no. He wouldn’t, not truly. The wound was still open and festering, it hadn’t even begun to heal but how could it? Everything was so fresh, an entire relationship, all that time spent was worthless, meaningless. It’s been erased but not in all the ways that would count. Reaching for the tea, Jungkook picked it up, wrapping both of his hands around it. He enjoyed the warmth it gave him because his heart was growing colder, icing over and soon that was going to spill from his heart, travelling the veins and arteries until there was nothing but a cold shell. It was exactly how he had felt for the past three nights. As normal as that was becoming, he didn’t want it to stick.

“Jungkook…”

There was a firmness there that Jungkook was so familiar with. In some ways Yoongi had always treated him as a little brother, this was one of those tones. In other ways he treated him as an equal, as a friend and as... something, Jungkook still didn’t want to think about it. How easy it was for him to cycle around and feel the guilt all over again, churning in his stomach like curdled milk.

He shouldn’t be here.

“I can still see the tear streaks. You were crying on my doorstep twice. What’s going on? Whose do I need to kick?” The gruffness and fresh anger that was woven through Yoongi’s words made the younger feel a surge of comfort from being protected by his hyung.

God, he had missed this.

“No one… Myself maybe…”

The brunettes head hung over his mug of tea and he wasn’t able to catch the confusion and concern that passed over the other's face. A hand, fair as the white sand on those beaches you only saw in pictures, with blue veins running through it rested onto Jungkook’s knee. How had he not noticed the dip in the couch? Really, his hyung had upgraded the furniture. Jungkook wouldn’t raise his head much but he peered at the hand from beneath his lashes and took in a short breath.

Yoongi was having to do the same. It had been much too long since he touched the man in front of him, as much as he wanted to act like it didn’t affect him. To himself, he couldn’t fool himself. The feeling of Jungkook’s sweatpant clad knee underneath his hand brought on a rush of emotions. He had yearned to touch the younger from the instant he had cut off contact. For awhile he could pretend that he had gotten past it, didn’t want it, crave it, need it but here he was and it all came rushing back. Yoongi forced himself to keep his hand there instead of jerking it back like touching hot coals. He let his skin burn, broil and fester in favor of providing the comfort that Jungkook very much needed, once again Yoongi put himself second.

“We don’t have to talk about it but… you know the answers you seek only come after acknowledging what happens.”

Sometimes Yoongi sounded so wise that he even surprised himself. He removed his hand and put some more distance between them. Choosing to reach for the remote to the television. Jungkook always needed time to collect his thoughts before speaking about something that was important to him and Yoongi really needed a distraction. He hadn’t thought, that a simple touch he hadn’t even meant to do, would re-ignite the molten lava into free flowing waves he had prayed were quelled long ago. He channel surfed for a while as Jungkook began to drink his tea.

The silence stretched and just like old times it was comfortable. Time ticked away, both men staring at the screen in front of them but neither actually paying it any mind. Jungkook was lost in his thoughts while Yoongi was just waiting in a blank stupor, seeing the colors blur past, sounds reach his ears but not much comprehension besides that. His hand had long since been removed from Jungkook’s knee and the immediate coolness he felt wasn’t easy to ignore. So, he didn’t. If nothing else he should at least accept that. Even cold the younger finished the tea that his hyung carefully prepared for him. Pressing his toes into the flooring beneath him, Jungkook stood up only for the mug to be swiped from his grasp much quicker than he was used to the other moving. It wasn’t that Yoongi was slow but he was just never in a hurry. He would always say that rushing didn’t change anything, the coffee shop would still be, your work would still be there, and people would still be there so why move faster than you need to? Jungkook could never really dispute that so he always shrugged.

Raising his eyes towards his hyung and actually seeing what was in front of him for the first time in two hours, Jungkook watched as he was waved off.

“I got it.” Gruff mumbled words tossed at him as the older man was moving away from the younger. Jungkook let himself sink back into the couch and threw his head back against the cushion, closing his eyes.

“Are you hungry? It’s kind of late but… have you eaten?”

A soft smile graced his lips while his eyes remained closed. He should probably get off this couch. He’s long since overstayed his welcome. Even though Yoongi would never say so, Jungkook was well aware that he did. And worse, he’s stayed too long without at least explaining anything to the man who was being more than generous to him. The guilt curdled up once more.