20

Mark knows Jackson won’t come back home for a while. Nevertheless, he still grabs some of his few belongings and walks out after cleaning the flowery mess. He needs space and to go to the doctor, schedule his surgery so he’ll recover like Jackson did.

He rents a hotel room and makes the required calls to get an appointment with a specialist in the area. He turns off his mobile and completely disappears, not giving a single explanation aside from a note saying he’d be back in a few weeks.

The next day, Mark visits the doctor and allows the very old yet very kind doctor to speak, clearly passionate about the illness and how wonderful it is. Mark doesn’t listen, he just coughs petals and when Jackson slips in his mind, the petals come out with blood, which is most of the time.

The doctor sends him to run some tests and schedules his surgery in a week’s time.

For a week, Mark hides in the hotel room, covering it in blood tainted yellow petals, just drinking water, completely giving up on food or vitamins or anything. He’s just keeping himself alive until the surgery, after that he’ll be able to eat again, and work, and just have his old life back.

He’ll just lose Jackson in exchange. But then again, he never had Jackson.

The day of Mark’s surgery, he drags himself to the hospital following all the procedure, checking in his room and waiting for a nurse to come to help him get ready for surgery.

In a few hours everything will be gone. His flowers… his feelings.

The door slides open and Mark turns to greet the nurse, but instead of a hospital employee the person storming inside is an idol, a young man he knows so well. Mark’s eyes widen in shock, not believing what he’s seeing. He’s probably anaesthetised and dreaming as the doctor opens his stomach to remove the tumour, because there’s no way Jackson is in his room.

“Thank God you’re here,” Jackson breathes out, his legs shaky and he seeks support in the nearest surface. 

Mark continues gasping for air.

“I’ve looked everywhere for you. Barging into every doctor’s door to ask for you. Thank goodness you’re here,” Jackson repeats, panting hard to catch his breath.

“Why… why are you here?” Mark asks.

Jackson smiles, hurting Mark so deep when he does because it’s like his old smiles, it has warmth and fondness, and it breaks Mark to the point he wants to cry out for mercy.

“I came to stop you,” Jackson explains. “When you disappeared I knew you had decided to get the surgery, and I freaked out. I went berserk trying to find you and stop you.”

Mark cannot breathe, he cannot move anything voluntarily or involuntarily, he’s just frozen as his head spins.

“After that fight everything went high wire. I was incapable of feeling anything for you before that, but after that all sort of emotions came back. Good and bad emotions. I could feel for you again.”

Jackson takes a step closer and Mark’s breath hitches, finally some air into his lungs. His eyes fill with tears and this time he blinks. When he opens his eyes, Jackson is closer.

“I don’t want you to die, but I don’t want you to get the surgery,” Jackson explains, walking towards him until he’s in front of Mark. Boldly, the younger takes one of Mark’s hands in his, squeezing it. “Don’t get the surgery.”

“Then what am I supposed to do? Keep coughing flowers?” Mark breathes out, feeling choked.

“No, yo