12

Mark cannot eat. Whatever he puts in his mouth ends up coming back not much later. He can only drink things, so he is powering himself with energy drinks, vitamins and protein shakes. It’s probably due to the whole situation with Jackson, because he feels worse after he’s seen one of Jackson’s fake and cold smiles, or his eyes void of any emotion whatsoever. After that Mark feels like throwing up even if he doesn’t have anything in his stomach to throw up.

One morning, Jackson accidentally hits his cereal bowl, dropping it and almost breaking it. The alarm and worry in his eyes as he checks the bowl feels like a punch in Mark’s guts because he doesn’t even get that. Mark has lost three kilos already, he’s paler than usual and he can barely sleep, but Jackson hasn’t even asked him if there’s something wrong with him.

The rejection and alienation is so extreme Mark feels like puking right there. He cannot even excuse himself as he feels the lump in his stomach grow, punching and scratching him within, as if there was something inside. He rushes to the bathroom, locking the door behind and starts gaging, hovering the toilet as his eyes fill with tears, his body trembling with pain and rejection.

Mark’s body spasms, it feels like his own stomach wants to escape him. Mark continues trying to push whatever he has, even if it-s only bile, just to get over with it. He even takes his fingers inside his mouth to force himself to throw up and it w