11

Jackson is different. Mark noticed it the exact moment he came back after his month break. His eyes were different, his smile cold and fake, but only towards him. Jackson is the same to everyone but Mark, and that hurts, it hurts so much.

As Mark lies on his bed, clutching his pillow and hugging it as he curls on the mattress, Mark hurts.

Jackson’s always been warm and kind, honest even when he was angry and tried to give him the cold shoulder just to come back three hours later to nag him about something. Jackson’s always been caring in his soft and absentminded caresses, in his hugs and little details. He has never treated anyone differently, everyone receiving the same love. Mark has never felt like anyone is more important than another to Jackson, at least in GOT7. All the members are precious for Jackson, but now Mark is excluded. 

It is so evident Jackson is forcing himself to act the same with Mark, but all his actions are fake and void of affection. He doesn’t smile encouragingly, he doesn’t caress him when Mark lies his hands on him, he doesn’t even drop by his room to talk for a bit. For Mark it feels like an impostor of Jackson came back instead his Jackson.

Mark hurts so much because he misses Jackson even more now. It kills him seeing Jackson looking the same but at the same time, completely gone. Jackson doesn’t even react if Mark burns himself while eating ramen!

The desolation he feels is choking Mark, it