I opened my eyes yet again after a familiar experience of dark emptiness.  I was lying facedown with my left cheek pressed against a cold linoleum floor.  I stared at the black and white checkers as I struggled to remember even my own name.  My mind felt like it was filled with grey clouds swirling slowly in a circle.  There was a calmness, though I felt a storm deep inside.

            As my memories returned to me, I recognized where I was.  It was the small west hallway at my high school, empty, yet full of deep red sunlight.  I left my cheek resting on the floor as I looked around.  My body felt weary and I was overwhelmingly sleepy.  I couldn’t tell when exactly she appeared next to me, but when I saw Sua, I wasn’t surprised.

            “Did I fall asleep?” I asked jadedly, slowly pushing myself up.

            She took my arm and helped me steady myself.  “You fainted, actually.  When you saw Handong.”

            At the sound of her name, I threw Sua’s hands away.  “How could you, Sua?  How could you make her do it?”

            “I…didn’t make her.”  Sua’s voice was softer and less urgent.  She could barely look me in the eyes.  “The spider…The Spirit did.”

            “Whatever story you have to tell…”  The steady anger in my voice quickly broke, and I felt the strength in my legs leave me.  I took a few weak steps toward the window and leaned on the large sill.  I stared at the sun, hoping it would burn the image from my mind.  I finally looked down at my hands as I began to cry.  “I found my friend’s body…She drowned herself while I was just outside…At least, I think she did.  Apparently so many of my memories aren’t real.  I pray to God that it was just another dream.”

            “This right now is a dream,” she said quietly from behind me.  “What you saw…Handong…it wasn’t.  I’m sorry.”

            “Can I see her?” I asked sharply as my hands balled up into fists.  “Where is she?”

            “I’m here.”

            I turned immediately towards her voice.  My mouth fell open as I saw her standing just a few feet away from me.  Her clothes were dry, and her skin was vibrant and full of life.  The image of her pale, lifeless body wouldn’t leave my mind, and it made her presence even more shocking.”

            “Dongie,” I called with a trembling voice, taking short, hesitant steps toward her.  Suddenly she rushed at me, and I naturally threw my arms around her and held her tightly.

            “I’m here, Jiu,” she repeated firmly.

            “Dongie!” I cried, sobbing into her neck.  “Please tell me it wasn’t real.  Please, Dongie.”

            She leaned back and looked at me with her big eyes, full of remorse.  She delicately wiped the tears from my cheeks and took a deep breath.  “Jiu, I’m sorry.”

            “Dongie, no…”  I rested my head on her shoulder and tried to breathe.  When I finally looked up at her again, she gave a weak grin. 

            “It’s okay, Jiu.”

            “Why?”  My voice was just a whisper, and I felt like that was all I had energy to produce.  “Why did you do it?”

            She looked down at the floor as her smile faded.  “It started slowly…this feeling…it’s hard to describe.  It’s like I didn’t belong in that world anymore.  That natural world.  I started to think about dying…At first I was scared because…I wasn’t scared.  I wanted to die.  I wasn’t sure why, but I wasn’t scared.”

            “This is exactly what Siyeon told me,” I sighed, closing my stinging eyes.  “Siyeon…is she really…is she the same?”

            Handong’s gaze went past me, and I turned around to see that she was looking at Siyeon a few feet down the hall.  Siyeon stared at us with wide eyes as she slowly stepped towards us.  When she was close enough, I swiftly reached out and pulled her into my arms.

            “Siyeon…”  As I held her, I kept on hand firmly holding on to the sleeve of Handong’s dress.  “Is Sua telling the truth?”

            “Yes.”  Siyeon’s voice was softer than I had ever remembered it.  She looked at me in awe and put both of her hands on my cheeks.  Her eyes moved back and forth over my face as if I were just a ghost, and even though I could feel her skin on my face, I couldn’t help but fear she would disappear.  Tears filled her eyes as she finally wrapped her arms around me and pressed her face into my neck.

            “I missed you,” she whispered, squeezing me with shaking arms.  “It was so hard to wait to see you in dreams.  To see you out there and pretend that everything was fine…I couldn’t even be near you…I was afraid you would touch me.”

            “I don’t understand, Siyeon,” I began desperately.  “How…where is your…body?”

            “It’s in the woods.”

            Sua appeared a little ways down the hall and stared at us with an intense gaze.  Seeing her made my whole body tense up, and I slowly stepped out between her and Siyeon and Handong.

            “Stay away from them,” I growled, pointing at her.

            “Jiu, you don’t understand,” Handong started quickly.  “Sua helped us.  She explained what was happening to us.”

            “Be quiet, Handong!” I cried, squeezing her sleeve tighter.  “Sua, I don’t know what happened to you last summer, but you need to keep it away from us!”

            “Jiu, please,” Sua begged.  Her voice had become a desperate whisper that sent a chill through my whole body.  “This isn’t about me, Jiu.  I need your help.”

            “I will not be involved in my own friends’ deaths,” I cried.  Siyeon wrapped her arms around me from behind and tucker her teary face into my neck.  I could feel Handong trying to pull her arm away from me, but I wouldn’t let her go.

            “It’s not what you think, Jiu,” Handong insisted, still attempting to pull away from me.  “Don’t yell at her like this.”

            “Handong, you’re dead!”  She stared back at me like I was crazy, like I hadn’t just held her lifeless body in my arms a few moments ago.  And even as I recalled that horrific moment, my mind spun around in circles trying to understand how she was standing before me. 

            “I’m not dead,” she replied plainly.  “I’m just…different.”

            “Jiu, you can’t deny this anymore.”  Sua stood only a few feet away now.  “Yoohyeon, Dami…even Gahyeon…”

            “Stop.”  My face burned with rage as I looked at her, yet my body trembled with fear.  “Don’t even say their names.  You’re trying to kill them.”

            “I’m not trying to kill them-”

            “You’re taking them from me!”  Siyeon let out a whimper as I screamed, but I could barely notice in my fury.  “You and your magic Spirit…You’re taking them from me…from their families…what do I tell them?”

            “You won’t have to tell them anything,” Sua replied hesitantly.  “Jiu…you…you will also pass over.”

            “I won’t let that happen.  Yoohyeon…Dami…Gahyeon…I won’t let you touch them.”

            “Jiu, please…”  Sua’s eyes glistened with tears, but this was the first time I felt no warmth for her.  I hated her.

            “No, Sua.”

            “I can’t do this without your help,” she sobbed.

            Handong finally ripped herself away from me and stepped over to Sua.  “Jiu, please listen to her!  This isn’t her fault.  She’s just trying to help.  It would have been so much harder for me if she hadn’t been there for me.”

            “Handong, why didn’t you tell me you were having these thoughts,” I asked, unable to hide my resentment.  “I could have helped you.  I could have convinced you to stay.”

            “This is not something you can escape.”  Handong sounded just as frustrated as I was.  “It’s something that will happen to all of us.  We can get through it together.”

            “No, can’t and we won’t.”

            Siyeon’s arms held me tighter as she began to speak.  “Jiu, please.”

            My heart throbbed as I wriggled myself out of her embrace and stepped toward the window again.  Even as I heard her desperate sobs, I couldn’t bear to look at her.  I could barely comprehend that my friends had died and I just couldn’t stand the thought that they were set on leading the rest of us to die too.  It seemed unreal.  My stomach ached.  As much as I wanted to fight the death they offered, I couldn’t help but feel a desire to die as well.

            “Wake me up,” I said through gritted teeth. 

            “What?” Handong asked.

            “Wake me up!”  I hit the window sill hard with my fist.  “Get me out of here!”

            “Jiu…”

            “I said get me out!”  Before anyone could speak another word, I banged my fist against the window as hard as I could.  “Get me out!”

            “Jiu!”

            “Get me out!”  I smashed my whole body against the window, and to my surprise, it shattered to pieces, and I was falling slowly through the air.  The ground came faster than I could ever imagine, and I felt light-headed and closed my eyes as I anticipated my body breaking on the concrete floor.

            I felt an impact it wasn’t painful; it was like a pool of water.  I felt like I was floating, and I had no energy to open my eyes.  What seemed like minutes went by, and the watery atmosphere slowly disappeared.  A cold, damp feeling was left on my body, and I felt something like an icy stone against my chest.

            When I finally opened my eyes, I realized I was in the bathroom again, and the stone was not a stone; it was Handong.  The blue moonlight through the window made her skin seem like porcelain.  She was like a doll my arms, only I knew she wasn’t.  As I held her, I suddenly wished I could go back into the dream and see her alive again.  But I couldn’t go back, and I had decided to never go back. 

            I sat there motionless, unable to let go of her body.  I tried to think of my next action should be.  How could I explain this to the professors?  Even if they took the rest of us back to Korea, how could I explain Siyeon’s and Handong’s deaths to their parents?  It seemed common sense to do all I could to get Yoohyeon, Dami, and Gahyeon out of this house, out of this city.  But there was this unexplainable feeling inside me that told me we could never leave.  I felt trapped and empty. 

            When I finally left the bathroom and the west wing, I found Yoohyeon in the entrance hall taking pictures.  She was laughing and taking pictures with Handong and Gahyeon.  My heart dropped into my stomach at the sight of Handong appearing so cheerful and normal in her new form.  I couldn’t help but feel resentment towards her.  She looked up at me as if she didn’t know I was holding her cold body only a moment ago.

            “Jiu!” Yoohyeon called excitedly.  “We were just looking for you.  Where did you go?”

            I locked eyes with Handong and felt sick to my stomach.  I caught a glimpse of remorse before she eventually looked down at the floor.  I stepped forward and took Yoohyeon’s hand.  “I had something to take care of.  Be sure to stay out of the west wing.”

            “Okay,” Yoohyeon replied curiously.

            “Are you planning a surprise for us?” Gahyeon asked, taking my free hand and shaking it gently. 

            “Yoohyeon, Gahyeon, let’s find Dami and start cooking dinner,” I proposed quickly, tightening my grip on them.  “Where is Dami?”

            “She’s upstairs reading,” Yoohyeon informed, looking back at Handong.  “Won’t Handong help us?”

            “She’s on a special diet with Sua and Siyeon now.”  I couldn’t scrape my eyes from Handong.  I couldn’t tell whether I loved her or hated her, and that killed me.  “Let’s go.”

            Yoohyeon and Gahyeon followed me up the stairs reluctantly, obviously confused by my behavior.  But I couldn’t help it.  I had to do everything I could to protect them.  If my own friends had become my enemies, it was just something I had to endure on my own.

            After dinner, I convinced Yoohyeon, Dami, and Gahyeon to spend time together in the parlor.  Yoohyeon, Gahyeon, and I lit the fire and played board games while Dami read one of her novels.  When Handong entered the room, I couldn’t focus on the game, and I eventually stepped out into the backyard and watched them through the large parlor window.  Handong sat beside them as they played their game, and they all laughed and smiled together.  It seemed for a moment that everything was how it had always been before this trip.

            I urged everyone to go to bed at the same time so I could know where Yoohyeon, Dami, and Gahyeon were at all times.  I insisted on sleeping in Gahyeon’s room with her, since she thought Siyeon was still sleeping in Sua’s room.  She stared at me curiously when I urgently crawled into her bed and held her gently against me.

            “Is something wrong, Jiu?” she asked quietly, resting her head just beneath my collarbone. 

            I ran my fingers through her hair and rested my chin at the top of her head.  “Gahyeon…You would tell me if you were feeling sad, right?”

            “I guess.  I don’t think I get sad very often though.”

            “Even so, you would tell me?”

            “…Well, yeah.”

            She was like a baby, and she had been this way ever since I knew her.  No matter how mature she acted or sounded, she would never seem any older to me, and she knew this well.  As I felt the warmth from her body, the life emitting from her, my bitterness towards Sua grew stronger, and I held Gahyeon tighter.  She seemed to melt into me like a fuzzy stuffed animal, and I never wanted to let her go.

            Her breathing became slower and deeper, and I knew she would fall asleep at any moment.  “Gahyeon.”

            “…Yeah?”     

            “Listen to me for a moment,” I pleaded in a whisper.  “Sua…She might try saying some weird things to you.  Siyeon and Handong too.  Whatever they say…please know that I need you here with me.”

            “I don’t understand…”

            “Just…”  Tears began to fall from my tired eyes, and I blinked hard to stay awake.  “Just…stay with me.”

            “You’re…”  Her voice trailed off into a sleepy trance.  “…not…making sense…”

            When I knew she was finally asleep, I kissed her forehead and tried to pull myself together quickly.  I opened my eyes as wide as I could.  I wasn’t going to fall asleep.  I wasn’t going to make myself vulnerable to whatever Sua had planned.  I was going to stay vigilant and make sure my remaining friends would stay alive. 

            After a few minutes, I got up and peeked into Yoohyeon and Dami’s room.  They were fast asleep.  Their faces looked so cold in the moonlight, and I quickly went in to feel their skin and make sure they were really alive.

            I struggled to feel content leaving their room, but I eventually left and down in the hall just outside.  My heart wouldn’t stop racing and my body felt wearier than it had ever been.  The night was cool and breezy, but sweat began to drip from my skin.  As I sat there in the dark, I remembered Handong’s body in the bathroom and I quickly covered my mouth as I cried in terror.  I couldn’t stay quiet as I sobbed.  Eventually I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like I was going to die.  I got up and ran down the stairs and through the front door into the night air.  My heart wouldn’t stop aching as I gasped for breath.

            “Jiu, you need to sleep.”

            “Don’t you dare touch me,” I growled breathlessly as Sua suddenly approached me from the darkness.  She halted a few feet away from me and gazed at me with anxious eyes.  “I won’t sleep tonight.  I won’t sleep until I know they’re safe.”

            “Jiu, this isn’t doing any good.”

            “Sua, if you really want what’s good for them, you’ll stay away from them and let them live!”  My anger helped bring the air into my lungs, and I glared at Sua resentfully.  “If you love them, let them live.”

            “Don’t you know that’s what I would do if I could?” she replied in frustration.  “Do you know how I felt seeing you with that spider for the first time?  I lost my mind!  I didn’t want this for you!”

            “Just stay out of their dreams,” I commanded, pointing at the mansion.  “And stay out of mine.  I swear to god, Sua…Right now…I really hate you.”

            “Jiu…”  Her whole body seemed sunken, like she was being held up by a group of weak strings in the sky.  Her expression was dark and hopeless, almost in a frightening way.  She stumbled back from me and let out a whimper.  “You keep blaming me for this…And I keep denying it…But I wonder if I somehow caused this.  I’ve been lonely for so long…I so desperately wanted someone with me on this side.  Maybe my loneliness brought this curse on you…I can’t help but think it might be true…”

            I didn’t know what to say to her.  Everything she told me only confirmed my idea that she was behind this, that she was to blame.  But as much as I hated her, I couldn’t help but feel that we were sharing in the same pain and grief.  She was the one I hated the most, but she was the only one who understood how I was feeling.

            “You promised me you wouldn’t leave me alone,” she continued, trembling.  “Even in hell, you said you wouldn’t leave me alone.  But this time…I’m not the one in hell.  You are.  And you’ll suffer to no end if you keep battling this curse.”

            “Be quiet!” I screamed, taking a long stride towards her.  “I won’t let it win!”

            “You can’t stop it, Jiu!”

            “Stay out of our dreams!”  I wanted to hit her, to tackle her, to throw her to the ground.  My whole body burned with the desire to cause her pain.  “Get out of our lives!  I never want to see you again!”

            “Fine!”  Her whole spirit seemed to deflate with that one word.  “Fine.  Goodbye.”

            Just as she disappeared, a great thunder boomed throughout the sky, and I could feel rain sprinkling lightly on my face.  The day had been so clear, yet now a thick fog was rolling in, and the rain began to fall harder and harder.  As I stood there, my whole body soaking wet, I couldn’t even bring myself to go back inside.  My only will to live was because of Yoohyeon, Dami, and Gahyeon, and it felt weaker and weaker with every moment.