I could barely remember walking back to the mansion from Sua’s class last night, but somehow I ended up back in my own bed to be woken up by Handong at dawn.  My memories of the astronomy class were just visions of that vibrant sky mixed with anxiety about Sua.  Even as I lay in my bed thinking about everything Sua said, I felt like I would never understand exactly what she meant.

            Even so, the morning seemed bright and lovely, and I prepared for the day just like any other.  The tenseness Handong showed in her eyes last night had disappeared, and she applied her makeup cheerily.

            “Are you feeling okay, Handong?” I asked her as I slipped into my school uniform.

            “Yeah,” she grinned.  “Early this morning, Sua came in and apologized to me for how she acted yesterday.  I think she feels really bad…I told her to just rest and not worry about it so much.  I think she’s having a hard time.  She should just focus on relaxing.”

            “You’re probably right.”

            Stepping out of our room, I noticed Sua and Dami standing down the hall against the railing, looking down at the entrance hall.  As they talked and laughed quietly, I could tell that Sua was making an effort to assure not only me, but the rest of our kids that she didn’t mean to act so strange.  She glanced at me for a moment and gave a nod, and I felt like I wasn’t the only one to carry her burden anymore.  A weight seemed to lift from my shoulders, and I felt like things could only get better from here.

            I descended the stairs and entered the kitchen where Siyeon was slowly slicing a tomato on the counter.  The sunlight was bright and whiter than usual coming through the window, and I noticed the thin layer of fog outside. 

            “It seems colder today,” I noted, still peering out the window.  “Be sure to wear a jacket.”

            After a few moments of silence, I looked back at her.  She stood quietly in front of the counter with her back turned to me.  “Siyeon?”

            When she failed to answer me a second time, I slowly stepped over to her and tapped her on the shoulder.  “Siyeon, are you okay.”

            “Oh…I’m fine.” 

            I finally moved beside her to see her expression.  She stared down at her messy tomato with blank eyes.  The tomato itself was barely cut, mostly squished on the cutting board, and lay in a puddle of dark red juice.

            “Siyeon, is this tomato rotten?” I asked anxiously, picking up the mushy tomato and examining it. 

            When I looked back down at the cutting board, I noticed Siyeon’s limp left hand also resting in the red puddle.  Seeing the deep, long slash in her pinky finger, I finally realized the puddle was made of blood.

            “Siyeon!”  I picked up Siyeon’s hand and pressed my finger across her wound.  “You cut yourself!”

            Her blank expression finally faded, and she looked at her bleeding finger.  She dropped the knife in her right hand and took a sudden step back.  “What?  I didn’t even notice.”

            “Let’s just get this cleaned and wrapped up.”

            As we rushed to the bathroom to fix up her cut, my heart beat faster and faster.  The cut didn’t seem terrible, and she hadn’t lost too much blood, but the way Siyeon stared unknowingly at her own wound at the kitchen counter was somehow horrifying to me.  Even while we walked, she seemed genuinely confused and frightened about what had just happened.

            Yoohyeon passed by the bathroom door as we were rinsing the cut.  “Is everything okay?”

            “Can you grab the first aid kit from my room?” I requested quickly.  “It should be under my bed.”

            “First aid kit?” she responded frantically.  “Are you okay?”

            “It’s just a cut.  Hurry up, Yoohyeon.”

            After Yoohyeon ran off, I held my thumb up against Siyeon’s cut.  She stared down at it with perplexed eyes.  “I…I really don’t remember cutting myself.”

            “Well, it’s not that bad, but it is sort of deep for you not to notice,” I admitted hesitantly.  “Do you at least feel it right now?”

            “Yeah…”  She pushed my thumb away for a moment to look at it closely.  “It doesn’t hurt that much.  It does look pretty deep, doesn’t it?”

            “Deep cuts usually give a dull, throbbing pain,” I explained, pressing my thumb into the cut again.  “So it shouldn’t hurt too bad…I guess your nerves are working, then.”

            She gave a nervous chuckle and blushed.  “I…I can’t believe this happened.”

            “Just be more careful,” I pleaded with a grin.  “Did you get enough sleep?”

            “Yeah…”

            “I have the first aid kit!” Yoohyeon announced with a booming voice, practically sliding into the bathroom.  She threw the kit into the sink and snatched Siyeon’s hand away from me.  “Are you okay?  What happened?”

            “It’s just-”

            “There’s blood in the kitchen.”  Gahyeon’s voice shook slightly as she too entered the bathroom.  “Is everything okay?”

            “Everything is fine,” I urged, taking some bandages from the kit.  “I’ll clean that up in a minute.  Just get ready for school.”

            No matter what I said, Yoohyeon and Gahyeon stood in the bathroom, peering over our shoulders to examine the wound.  Siyeon seemed more and more embarrassed, yet her fear faded only slightly and appeared to haunt her.  I found my own heart beating hard with a lingering horror, but I tried to push it aside to keep everyone calm.

            Eventually I finished cleaning up Siyeon and the kitchen, and the boys and professors arrived for classes.  As much time as I wanted to spend with Siyeon to make sure she was okay, I had to leave for my classes. 

            As usual, Sua arrived late to our film class, but she assured me afterwards that she was taking some extra time to check on Siyeon.  I could barely focus on whatever film was being played; my mind was swirling with worry that Siyeon would accidentally harm herself again.  Afterwards, Sua sat with me in the meadow on the edge of the forest and summarized the story of the film for me as I began to write my report about my spider project.  I held the jar up and examined the half-squished spider carefully.

            “I just can’t figure out what this spider could be,” I sighed, putting the jar back in the grass.  “I don’t think the damage of Yoohyeon’s shoe really altered its appearance at all.  Its exoskeleton seems exceptionally strong and all its features seem intact.”

            Sua stared down at her legs, lost in thought.  These days, she tended to look upset or even insane, but now she seemed simply sad.  There was a sense of defeat in her gaze.  Without looking up at me, she gave a sigh.  “Do you think there are any entomology books in the library here at the mansion you could look at?”

            “You know the library is off limits,” I mentioned, trying not to be weighed down by her emotion.  “I’m sure Professor Jeon will have some other books.  He’ll probably give one look and know exactly what it is.”

            But I was wrong.  After my entomology lecture late in the afternoon, Professor Jeon looked at my spider from every angle, yet seemed to become even more confused with every glance.  After a few minutes, he took one of his entomology books and flipped through the pages slowly.  We held class outside beneath the large oak tree Gahyeon and I discovered on our first day here.  As the sun fell, so did the temperature, and more fog seemed to be rolling in by the minute.  I wrapped my arms tightly around myself and found the professor’s silence eerie and chilling.

            “It wasn’t on the list of poisonous spiders you gave me,” I told, wishing Yoohyeon and I had never found the spider in the first place.  “Haven’t you seen it before?”

            “I’m afraid not.”  His eyes moved quickly over each page, and he flipped faster and faster through the book.  “If you’ll let me hold onto this overnight, I’ll do some additional research and figure out what it is.  I’ll extend the deadline of your report, so don’t worry about it.”

            “That sounds fine to me,” I assured, attempting to give a smile. 

            He continued to silently look through his book, so I finally decided to rush off back to the mansion.  The boys were leaving just as I arrived, and Minjun suddenly draped his coat over me just before I got to the doors. 

            “It’s cold,” he insisted, bundling me up in his jacket.

            “Minjun, I’m literally about to go inside,” I replied in confusion.

            “True…”  He smirked as he fixed the collar on the thick coat and patted my shoulders.  “But it’s still cold.  And this gives you a reason to make sure to see me again.”

            He was being sneaky and silly, but his warm smile and coat did give me a sense of relief from the mystery of the day.  “Thank you, Minjun.  But aren’t you going to freeze on your way back to your room?”

            Taking my hand gently, he rubbed his finger over my plastic ring.  “I don’t think I will,” he smiled.  “Hurry up and go inside!  Don’t stand out here and freeze!”

            As he ran off to catch his fellow male students, I couldn’t help but laugh in amusement.  But the chilly air, along with Minjun’s suggestion, quickly ushered me inside the mansion.

            “Geez, Jiu, your class got out late today,” Yoohyeon mentioned as she rummaged through the drawers of the tables in the entrance hall.

            “I had to stay and talk to my professor about the spider,” I informed, staring at her curiously.  “He couldn’t figure out what kind of spider it was…Yoohyeon, what are you looking for?”

            She slammed a drawer shut and looked up at me with wide eyes.  “Nothing!  Nothing at all…Can you believe this weather?  I hope it’s not this cold for our trip to the EiffelTower at the end of the summer.”

            The way she suddenly scurried off into the next room worried me, but I was also aching to check on Siyeon again.  I called out her name, but only a ghostly echo came back to me.  Wrapping Minjun’s coat tighter around me, I stepped into the kitchen to find Handong and Gahyeon making ramen.  While Handong was bundled up in two or three layers, Gahyeon wore her pajamas, which were simple a t-shirt and a pair of fuzzy shorts.

            “Gahyeon,” I sighed, standing behind her and rubbing her arms.  “Aren’t you cold?  It’s probably less than sixty degrees in this house.”

            “That’s what I told her,” Handong insisted, sitting down at the small table.  “She said she couldn’t understand my accent.”

            Gahyeon snickered before giving me an innocent stare.  “Hey, this spicy ramen will warm me up right away.  Don’t worry.”

            “It’s so cold, I want to run a steaming hot bath and just stay in it for the rest of the night,” Handong sighed.

            “I don’t understand it,” Gahyeon said curiously.  “It’s summer; why is it this cold?”

            “Well, no matter what season it is, please dress appropriately for the temperature, Gahyeon,” I pleaded wearily.  “Have you two seen Siyeon?”

            “Not lately,” Handong informed.

            “I haven’t seen her since this morning.”  Gahyeon looked at me with worried eyes.  “Is her cut okay?”

            “I’m sure it is.”  It wasn’t her cut I was worried about, but I didn’t want to let them know how Siyeon had cut herself this morning.  Before the conversation could continue, I stepped back into the entrance hall and looked around.  There was no sign of Siyeon or anyone else.  But I noticed that the door to the west wing of the mansion was slightly open.

            “Didn’t the professors lock this before they left?” I asked myself as I approached the door.  I had never paid much attention to these doors before, but suddenly I noticed how huge and looming they were.  They were dark and seemed to be made of solid ebony with circular patterns running from the top to the bottom.  My whole body shook, but I couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or the haunting effect of the door.

            I opened it and looked down the dark hallway.  It was barely lit from the last of the twilight sun peeking through the large dining room at the end of the hall.  This wing that had seemed so enchanting and historic in the daytime felt more like a ghostly crypt in the evening. 

            “Siyeon!” I called into the hall.  Even after waiting a few seconds, I received no answer and heard not even a movement.  As I slowly began to walk down the hall, my heart beat faster and faster.  Though I had walked down this hall several times, I suddenly felt like I had never visited it in my life.

            A faint candlelight light coming from within a room to my right caught my eye, and I slowly pushed the door completely open.  In the midst of dusty bookshelves along the walls and books scattered on the floor, a small figure sat hunched over on the floor with a candlestick beside her.  By the shape of the figure, I knew it was Dami, yet something within me made my heart pound viciously hard upon seeing her.  I threw my hand to my chest, took a deep breath, and stepped into the room.

            “Dami?” I called gently.  “Is that you?”

            She looked up at me with her round glasses and grinned.  “Oh, hi, Jiu.  What are you doing here?”

            “What am I doing here?”  I sat down next to her and looked at the books scattered all around.  “The real question is: what are you doing here?  You know you’re not supposed to come to this part of the mansion.”

            “But this room is so magical and full of so many books,” Dami claimed excitedly.  She noticed my look of confusion and disapproval and gave a long sigh.  “Listen, sometimes Professor Oh forgets to lock the door and I come into this wing to read.  Are you going to punish me for reading books?”

            “I…I guess not.  But it’s still against the rules.”

            She looked back at the book she was reading and turned the page.  “Jiu…I haven’t told anyone but…I’ve had really bad insomnia for a while.  It started a few days before finals week, and for some reason it hasn’t gone away.  I have pills for it…but I’d much rather come down here and read.”

            “Insomnia?  …For this long?”

            “Yeah…”  She closed the book and adjusted her glasses.  “I don’t want to take the pills because they make me feel weird and groggy during the day.”

            “I understand,” I told quietly, patting her head before running my fingers through her hair.  “I’m sorry you have to go through that.  Is there anything we can do to help?”

            “…You can let me read in here,” she suggested playfully.  “It’s really not that bad, I’m not damaging anything or making a mess.”

            “What do you call this?” I asked, looking around at the piles of scattered, dusty books. 

            “Believe it or not, everything was like this when I first got here,” Dami explained, placing the book she was reading on a pile to her left.  “The grand library through the dining room is pretty neat, but this seems to be a personal library or study room that no one cleaned up.  The owner was either really disorganized…or really smart.  Oh!  Jiu, look at this!”

            Dami jumped up and rushed towards a small pile in the corner of the room.  She grabbed the one on top and sat back down beside the candlestick and I.  Shadows flickered on the old pages that had faded to yellow.  Each page Dami turned was filled with handwriting and artwork that seemed sharp enough to be made with a quill pen.

            “I think I found your spider in here,” Dami said, still flipping through the book.  “I was in here last night and found this book in one of the piles.  It seems to be some kind of old journal dated back to the end of the Middle Ages.  Honestly, it’s a miracle it’s so preserved; I would think it would be impossible for the paper to look like this.  It’s all in English, but the pictures are really fascinating.  Ah, here it is!”

            She stopped on a journal entry that contained three detailed drawings of a spider, each drawing from a different angle.  I leaned towards the book and examined each picture carefully.  My heart skipped a beat upon seeing the obvious skull shape of the blotches on its abdomen.

            “Oh my gosh…That really does look like it.”

            “It’s so fascinating,” Dami continued excitedly.  “I was so curious about it, so this afternoon I asked Yoohyeon if she could translate it for me.  She said it used Old English, but she was able to get the gist of the story.”

            “What story?  What happened?”

            “Well, apparently this journal was written by a witch.  She had a young daughter who was very sick and was dying.  The witch took a spider and enchanted it to be her daughter’s guardian against death.  The spell was meant to allow her daughter to defeat the illness and essentially live until the spider was killed.  But there was an accident, and the spider ended up being squished…much like the way Yoohyeon squished the spider you caught.”

            The story itself sent chills down my spine and made me even more uneasy about the spider, but Dami’s excited and carefree tone kept me wanting to hear more.  “What happened to the daughter?”

            “She died shortly after,” Dami told, her voice finally dropping to a less eager tone.  “As you can expect, the witch was devastated.  But in later entries, she reports that her daughter appeared to her in dreams.”

            “In dreams?”

            “And later in real life,” Dami continued.  “But for some reason they couldn’t touch in real life.  Maybe it was because they were in separate worlds or dimensions.”

            “That’s…very depressing,” I sighed as Dami flipped through the pages.  There were sketches of a little girl who was certainly the witch’s daughter.  These drawings were less detailed and more frantic and smudged. 

            “Unfortunately it gets more depressing.”  Dami finally reached a page in the middle of the journal where the entry suddenly cut off.  “She talks about joining her daughter in the dream world.  She describes a longing to see her daughter that is beyond any common sense or thought.  It’s like it controls her.  And then there are no more entries…I guess she…joined her somehow.”

            I took the book and closed it quickly.  I couldn’t even understand why I was so upset, but something about the story tied my stomach up into knots.  No matter how hard I tried to think of other things, I couldn’t help but imagine that little girl appearing in my dreams or in the very halls of this mansion.

            “Let’s not read this book anymore,” I begged, placing it onto a nearby pile.  “Don’t even think about it.  It’s so creepy…”

            “Yeah…I guess you’re right,” Dami chuckled, taking a book from a different pile.  “I’ll find something else, don’t worry.”

            “Dami…If you really can’t sleep, I won’t mind if you read in here,” I sighed, getting up from the floor.  “I hope you’ll be able to sleep soon.”

            “All these books are so magical…Honestly, I hope my insomnia lasts till the end of the trip,” Dami smirked, opening up her book and peering inside.

            “Hey, don’t forget to take a break to eat,” I reminded as I stepped outside the room.

            The dark hall greeted me again, but it felt even darker.  Though the twilight sun was dwindling even further, the darkness felt like more of a horrible cloud embracing me.  The thought of that witch and her daughter, their deaths, the spider…I could feel it all in the hall with me.

            I closed my eyes hard and tried to forget about the story.  I told myself that Professor Jeon would have an answer about the spider tomorrow, and this story and its five hundred year old journal would have no relevance to me.  I begged my mind to forget every last word that Dami told me.

            When I opened my eyes, I looked to the dining room and gasped.  Against the deep red sunlight pouring through the windows stood another dark figure.  I could only see its back, and it was too far away for me to identify.  It seemed to peer out the window to stare at the light, yet its presence seemed so dark and ominous that I felt it could be the source of that eerie light.

            After my initial shock, I noticed the details of its outline, and it was clearly wearing a skirt.  The way it stood so silently and hypnotically reminded me of how Siyeon stood in the kitchen with the tomato.  I slowly took a few steps down the hall towards the dining hall and the figure.

            “Siyeon?” I called with a shaky voice.  “Is that you?”

            She didn’t respond or even turn to look at me.  The worry I felt in the kitchen this morning seemed infinitely magnified as my pulse increased quickly.  After calling her name a second time with no response, I became not only anxious, but also frustrated.

            “Siyeon, this isn’t funny,” I said desperately.  “Please answer me.”

            By the time I reached her, I could tell with full confidence that it was Siyeon.  All my frustration dissipated when I realized she was trembling.  I stepped next to her and leaned forward to see her face that was glittering with tears.   

            “Siyeon, are you okay?”  I grabbed her cold hand and wrapped it up in my own.  “Siyeon, what happened?”

           “Jiu…”  She wiped a tear from her cheek and looked at me for a moment before turning to the window again.  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

            “Siyeon, there’s nothing wrong with you,” I insisted, attempting to give a smile even though my heart still hadn’t fully calmed down.

            “You don’t understand,” she began slowly, quickly wiping more tears away.  “Sometimes…Sometimes I get really sick.”

            “Sick?  What do you mean by sick?”

            “I get…depressed,” she told reluctantly, her voice dropping into a whisper.  “It’s been a problem since I was in middle school.  I never told you guys because…Honestly you’ve helped me a lot and I haven’t felt like this in such a long time.”

            “Are you feeling depressed right now?” I questioned delicately. 

            “When I’m depressed, I feel like there’s no reason to live…”  I could feel her hand tightening around my own.  “But at least I feel sad about it.  I feel sad that I have no reason to live.  But now…somehow…it’s like I don’t want to live…but I’m not sad.  It’s like I feel nothing…The only thing I feel right now is…fear.”

            “Siyeon-”

            “I’m so scared, Jiu!” she cried, suddenly wrapping her arms around me and digging her face into my shoulder.  “Why am I feeling this way?  Why didn’t I realize I cut myself?  It’s like my body is trying to kill me.”

            “Siyeon, please calm down,” I requested hopelessly, squeezing her tightly.  “I won’t let anything happen to you, no matter what you’re feeling.  Just…Please don’t go off wandering alone.  Why are you so cold?”

            She looked up at me and took a deep breath.  “I took a walk through the woods.  It was so foggy…But I found my way back.”

           “Don’t do that anymore,” I commanded, pulling her close again.  “Especially now.  If you’re feeling this way, you shouldn’t be alone.  Let’s stay together.  We can get through this.”

            “I hope so,” Siyeon whispered. 

            Her grip around me was so tight, it was like she was vigorously fighting a natural impulse to let go.  Even though her words terrified me and made me feel weak and sick, I mustered all my strength to hold her.  As we stood there, I finally realized that all the sunlight had disappeared, and the room was pitch black.  The darkness felt even thicker than before.

            Siyeon and I spent the rest of the night together eating and doing homework.  By the time I had tucked her into bed, we were both so tired, but I sat on the floor next to her bed until I knew she had fallen asleep.  On the way to my room, I noticed Sua standing at the top of the staircase.

            “Is everything okay, Jiu?”

            I quickly checked the rest of the rooms to see if everyone else was asleep.  When I knew for sure, I quickly ran into Sua’s arms and broke down into tears.

            “Jiu, what’s wrong?” she asked, patting my head.

            A laugh escaped my lips, and my emotions felt too ridiculous to be real.  “Today has just been a really crazy day.  I heard the most tragic story I’ve ever heard in my life.  And…Sua…”  I felt my face getting hotter as I thought of everything that happened with Siyeon today.  “Siyeon…Siyeon is sick, Sua.”

            “Sick?”

            “Today…Siyeon cut herself in the kitchen, and she was bleeding for a while before she realized it,” I explained, my mind and heart exhausted.  “Later she told me she felt like there was no reason to live and she was scared of what she might do.”

            “Wow…”  Sua seemed calmer than I expected, but I could see the sadness in her eyes.  “Well…I’ll take care of her, Jiu.  Try not to worry too much.  Let me handle it.”

            “Really?” I replied in confusion.  “I mean, I’ll take care of her too.”

            “Jiu, you take on so much responsibility with us,” she insisted, wiping the tears from my face.  “Let me do this for you and Siyeon.  I promise everything will turn out fine.  Just let me be in charge of this.”

            Her words didn’t make complete sense to me, but I was suddenly feeling sleepy enough to pass out.  Sua led me to my bed and I felt like I was already dreaming as she pulled the covers over me.

            “Sua…Thank you.”

            “Jiu…Don’t go sleepwalking.”