Chapter 1

            I saw a rainbow in the sky this morning when I’d just left my place.  My friends, who were with me, were so excited and laughing, pointing at the rainbow and shouting out: “Girls, look at that!”  And I was just staring at it for a while without words.  Because it was the first time to see that beautiful rainbow in my life.  Bright and shining rainbow.

            I felt like today was my day, maybe it was thanks to the mysterious experience this morning.  I got an A on a test, and found a four-leaf clover on my way home.  And I left my homework in my room, but my teacher didn’t check homework today.  The day everything went so well, that was what we call “LUCKY.”

            Though I guess that those lucky incidents didn’t happen because of the rainbow’s magic, it made me happy all day.  By the way, I remember my mom said that bad things come after good things…

            But at the moment, I wasn’t worried.  My heart felt so full, I couldn’t imagine a day any better than this one.  A flock of birds flew across the sunset as my six friends and I rested by the short concrete wall separating the bike path from the sand.  The energetic wind of the morning had died down and become just a gentle breeze on us and the residents of the Busan shore. 

            Kim Sua sat to my left on the concrete wall with me, though a few feet away.  She somehow maintained a cross-legged sitting position on the thin wall and appeared balanced and calm as she looked out into the sunset.  The angle of the sun made something about her skin, her eyes, and her hair glow in an unusual way.  I felt like she was part of the sunlight itself, and I wondered if my hand would pass right through her if I tried to touch her.  The thought started to frighten me, and I looked back at the sand and gave a nervous laugh.

            Lee Siyeon and her piercing eyes gazed over Yoohyeon and Dami as they attempted to build a sandcastle with the sand that had already dried after this morning’s rain.  It was becoming more of a sand hill, and Siyeon withheld no criticism from their handiwork.  Siyeon had a cold look and a sharp, sarcastic tone, and spent more time appearing strong than vulnerable.  But she was truly sweet and soft, and when she chose to show her heart, it was clear that she was the kindest of people with no ill will towards anyone.  As Yoohyeon was about to give up on the sandcastle, Siyeon dropped down to the ground, wrapped her in her arms, and gave her a fierce kiss on the cheek.

            And Kim Yoohyeon melted, appearing as a blushing child.  That’s what she truly seemed like: a playful little girl without a care in the world.  But she immediately pretended to be grumpy and reject Siyeon, as she liked to argue with you for no reason.  You could tell her the sky is blue, and she would choose to disagree with you until her invalid points turned to embarrassment.  She did this on purpose; at least I think.  Her contentions were so ridiculous, I felt like they could only be made for laughs.  And when Yoohyeon was with us, we never stopped laughing.  Yet she had another side to her, a calmer and darker part of her personality.  Yoohyeon was the only one of us with dyed hair: a blonde color beginning at the middle of her hair length.  She was obsessed with Western music and culture, and she worked extra hard as if she needed to compensate for something.  Sometimes I would witness her in a mood that was unlike a child; it was more like an elderly woman who had experienced too much to bear in her long life.  I never forget those moments, and I never leave her to wallow alone in them.

            Lee Dami was concerned with neither the beautiful sunset nor Yoohyeon’s antics.  Her attention stayed on the failing sandcastle, and she did manage to make it look pretty with little pebbles and sticks.  No matter how many times Yoohyeon made an ill-planned, damaging adjustment to the castle’s structure, Dami remained silent and fixed whatever she could.  Dami’s small face and big eyes made her appear even more concentrated on whatever she was doing, as if her five senses were adjusting to her task.  Nothing could pull her away from spending hours completing a puzzle or building an action figure, a trait we all learned to respect over the years.

            “Hmm, that seagull is looking at my snack threateningly,” Lee Gahyeon muttered a few feet down the concrete wall to my right.  Our baby-faced youngest friend shared a menacing stare with a seagull several feet away in the sand as she ate a bag of honey butter chips.

            “Sea…Seagull?”  Handong, an exchange student from China, leaned on the wall next to Gahyeon as she slowly repeated the word a few more times.

            “That bird over there,” Gahyeon explained, pointing to the hungry seagull.  She held a chip out to Handong and swiftly put it in .  “They can be so aggressive.  We’d better eat these quickly.”

            Handong transferred from Wuhan at the beginning of the school year, and I was chosen as her mentor to help her adjust to Korean culture and language.  When I first met her, she was so scared, so shy, and I swear she looked constantly pale from her nerves and culture shock.  When my friends embraced her, we became an anchor for her, and I think she finally found a home away from home.  Sometimes she still feels like my baby with the way she clings to me and how soft and rosy her cute cheeks are, but she’s grown in staggering ways the past nine months.

            Strangely enough, we all met Gahyeon last summer at an eating competition with participating students from our school.  Gahyeon and I ended up as the two finalists of the competition, and she beat me by a whole bowl of kimchi stew.  As the loser, I took her out for barbecue the next day, and I was smitten by her fiery spirit and genuine concern and kindness for others.  She was fairly popular throughout the entire school and had many friends, yet she felt most comfortable with us.  I felt like her tiny presence made up 50% of our group’s whole personality.

            “Handong, how do you say it in Mandarin?” Yoohyeon asked suddenly, quickly losing interest in Dami’s sandcastle.

           “Hǎi'ōu,” Handong informed, her usually timid voice gaining slight strength as she spoke her native language.

            I laughed quietly as Yoohyeon repeated it to herself with various different and incorrect pronunciations.  “Yoohyeon, will you be taking Chinese in Paris?”

            “Ah, I don’t want to even think about Paris with final exams coming up next week,” Yoohyeon grumbled, suddenly walking a few feet away to mutter math formulas to herself.

            “I can’t stop thinking about it,” Gahyeon grinned, offering another chip to Handong.  “Such a romantic city.  I can’t believe I’ll finally see the EiffelTower in person.”

            “You visited Paris last year, SuA,” I mentioned, looking over to her gold-like image.  “You never tell us much about it whenever we talk about it.  Aren’t you excited to go back?”

            Sua seemed to stare directly into the setting sun, and I wondered how she wasn’t damaging her vision.  As she sat there in silence, it seemed as if she wasn’t even there.  Her mind was far away; I could sense it.  We had known each other for six years, and she had changed the past year.  Though whenever I mentioned it to her, she laughed and denied that there was anything wrong.  She finally looked up at me, and I could tell she noticed my concern again.  Letting out her reassuring laugh as usual, she nodded her head.

            “Of course I’m excited.  It’s Paris.”  A look of sadness flashed in her eyes for a moment before she looked back at the sunset and smiled brightly.  “The lights are beautiful, the architecture is amazing.  And we’ll all be together.  I think that’s the most special thing about it.”

            “It’s true…”  Yoohyeon returned from her study session to look at Sua pensively.  “You and Jiu are graduating next year.  We only have a year left of us all being together.”

            “Hey, Yoohyeon, shut up,” Dami sighed, patting her sandcastle into a blank hill again.  “Don’t talk like that.”

            “But it’s true,” Yoohyeon mumbled, bashfully looking down at the ground.

            I looked over at my baby Handong; she was already tense and pale.  Gahyeon, as a sophomore, seemed shocked and confused by the sudden shift in mood.  And though Dami immediately rejected Yoohyeon’s sentiments, she appeared more and more stressed as she slowly destroyed the sandcastle she had spent so much time perfecting.  Siyeon met my gaze, and I saw her motherly instinct activate right away.

            “Yoohyeon, don’t even think about that,” Siyeon insisted with a fairy-like voice, putting her arm around Yoohyeon and patting her on the head.  “We have a whole year left with them.  And we’ll still be together even after Jiu and Sua leave for college.”

            All six of us looked at Handong suddenly as she let out a tiny whimper.  I felt my heart collapse as I saw the fear in her eyes, fear of what lay ahead of her as her home away from home was dismantled.  As I looked around at my anxious friends, I remembered the rainbow from earlier today, and I couldn’t believe today’s lucky atmosphere was collapsing like this.  I pushed myself off the concrete wall, marched over to Handong, and pulled her into my arms.

            “Look at us,” I chuckled nervously.  “We’re all on edge because of exams next week.  Crying for no reason…Of course we have a whole year together, but even beyond that, don’t you think we’ll always be together?  Do you have no will?  No matter what happens in the future, if we want to be together, we’ll be together.”

            “Is that…realistic though?”  Yoohyeon asked, her tone insisting it was a rhetorical question.  I took it as a challenge.

            “It’s definitely realistic,” I declared triumphantly.  I pushed Handong a few inches forward and looked straight into her eyes.  “I personally will do absolutely anything to make it realistic.  Will you guys do the same?”

            “Of course we will!” Siyeon replied like a military soldier.  I caught the smirk on her lips, and I knew she sensed my plan.  “Are you guys sad because you lack no will?  Where’s your commitment to this gang?  Do we have to kick you out?  Perform more extreme initiation ceremonies?”

            Gahyeon laughed heartily, while Yoohyeon and Dami lightened up a bit.  Handong only looked at me with even more tears in her eyes.

            “Jiu, I can’t understand what Siyeon is saying,” she sobbed, covering her eyes with her hands.

            “Ah…”  I pulled her into my chest again and laughed quietly.  “Um…What she said was…Okay, listen to me carefully.  I will do anything to keep us together.  We must all do what we can to keep us together.  So don’t worry.  Don’t cry.”

            “I’m sorry for making you cry, Handong.”  Yoohyeon put her face next to Handong’s and patted her head gently.  “I don’t know what I was saying.”

            “Hey, Kim Yoohyeon, what do you think you were doing making our baby cry?” Sua scolded in a mocking tone.  “And what are you doing out so late, causing trouble like this.  The sun is almost down.”

            “I’m sorry, mom!” Yoohyeon cried with a booming laugh.

            Yoohyeon began romping through the sand towards Sua, but Sua jumped off the wall before she could reach her.  “Don’t say sorry, just get home and study for your exams!  And don’t forget to eat dinner.”

            I watched curiously as Sua started backing away into the bike lane.  “Sua, where are you going?”

            “I need to get home,” she responded, moving farther away from us.  “I’ll talk to you later!  Get some rest tonight!”

            “Okay…Sua!  The bike!”

            My heart leapt out of my chest as I watched a bike dash towards Sua from behind her.  There was no time, I knew I couldn’t reach her, but I let go of Handong right away and stumbled over the concrete wall.  By the time I looked up again, the bike had already passed by, and I started scanning the bike path for an injured Sua.

            “Sua!”

            “I’m right here!”

            I was astonished to look up at the sidewalk across the bike path and see Sua waving happily at me.  “Sua!  How did you get out of the way so fast?”

            “Hey, I have lightening reflexes,” Sua insisted with a smirk.  “See you guys later!”

            As Sua rushed off, I looked back at the rest of my friends.  Yoohyeon, Siyeon, and Dami seemed just as confused as I was.  Gahyeon was already back to eating her chips, and Handong had her face pressed into my chest for half of the event.  I couldn’t imagine being so panicked if there was really time for her to dodge the bike.  After playing the event back in my mind five more times, I sighed and decided to let it go.

            “Why didn’t that bicyclist see her?” Siyeon grumbled, staring at the bicyclist who was already half a mile away.  “People are so careless these days.”

            “We’d all better get back home before anything else happens,” I smiled, squishing one of Handong’s cheeks between my thumb and index finger.  “Come on, I’ll take you home, Handong.  Let’s go, you guys.”

*          *          *

            That night I lay in my bed studying for what seemed like forever.  I was so tired; I thought I would fall asleep with a book on my face.  The events at the beach made it hard for me to concentrate, but I was sure I’d ace my exams next week and be well on my way to Paris for summer study abroad.  Putting down my biology book, I got up from my bed and walked to my bedroom window.

            I had spent hours studying in exhaustion, but I was suddenly wide awake.  The night felt dense.  I saw fog forming outside my window, and somehow I could feel it on my skin within my room.  Furthermore, I could feel it in my lungs, and I felt like I was being suffocated by something more than physical.  I saw the uncertain future we discussed at the beach, and I remembered Yoohyeon’s question.  I knew it was entirely unrealistic for seven people to stay together, whether it was in person or other kinds of communication.  The answer was especially clear for Handong; she would probably go back to China after graduating.  The thought of seeing Handong’s tears again gave me goosebumps, and I tried to push the image out of my mind.

            A knock on my door pulled me out of my sad thoughts.  I looked at the clock on my desk and was shocked to see it was 11:30PM.  My parents were always asleep by 9PM, 10PM at the latest.  I crept quietly to the door and opened it slowly.

            “Sua?” I whispered as she stuck her face into my room.

            “Jiu,” she smiled brightly, grabbing my arm.  “Do you want to go get some roasted sweet potato with me?”

            “Sua…”  I pulled her into my room and closed the door.  “My parents are sleeping.  How did you get into my house?”

            “Your mom is actually enthralled in a television show downstairs,” Sua chuckled.  “I saw her through the window, and she let me in right away.”

            “She’s watching TV?” I asked incredulously.  “She hates TV, why would she be up this late watching it?”

            “You can see for yourself on our way out.  Come on!”

            No matter how sad Sua acted during the day, she was always a bundle of energy during the night.  She had pulled me out for late night snacks before, but we had usually planned them beforehand to help keep school a priority.

            “Ah…okay.”

            I took my phone from my desk and followed her out of my room.  As we tip-toed downstairs, I was shocked to see my mother sitting comfortably in front of the television, chuckling to herself as a few comedians onscreen told various stories.  I had never seen her watch a comic show before, and my mind felt suspicious and misty. 

            “Mom,” I called softly.  “You’re still up?”

            “Yeah, sweetie,” she said mid-laugh as one of the comics reenacted a ridiculous scene from a drama.  “Have fun with Sua.  Don’t forget your key.”

            The two of us slipped out of the house as I tried to understand what I just saw.  Sua looped her arm around my own as we walked down the dimly lit streets to a main street nearby that hosted several late-night snack booths.  As we walked through the cold fog, I felt more and more at ease, and I finally looked down at my short friend.

            “Is everything okay?”

            “Of course.”  Her voice was calm and relaxed.  Everything about her seemed real and present, not like her glowing, downtrodden appearance at the beach.  She was always happier at night, and she felt closer in spirit and body.  Even if her visit was out of the blue or for any suspicious reason, I was content.

            When we reached the sweet potato booth, Sua asked for four sweet potatoes, and proceeded to get out enough money for all of them.  “What are you doing?  You’re not paying for our food again.”

            “You always forget your purse when we go out like this,” Sua smirked, handing the money over to the woman. 

            “What?”  My hands searched all around my body for my purse, for some money, for anything.  I gazed back up the street to see if it had dropped somewhere, but the fog was so dense.  “I could have sworn I grabbed my purse.”

            “It’s fine, Jiu.  I insist anyway.”

            She took the sweet potatoes from the woman and started walking towards an area with small metal tables on the sidewalk.  “No, it’s not fine.  You’ve been paying for our food like this ever since last summer.  It’s not right.  I can’t even imagine how much money you’ve spent.”

            “Forget it.”  As she sat down at a table, she pulled me down onto the seat next to her.  Handing one of the sweet potatoes to me, she gave a sad smile.  “Let me take care of you a little while longer until we graduate.”

            “You’re thinking like that too?”  I took a bite of the hot sweet potato and immediately regretted it as I burned my tongue.  “Ah…Weren’t you inspired by my rousing speech?”

            She chuckled darkly as she looked out into the foggy street.  “I’m glad the young ones were comforted, but we’re both older.  We know it’s not realistic for us to stay together.”

            I felt my expression contort in frustration as I cautiously took another bite of sweet potato.  “Maybe you’re right, but we have a whole year.  We don’t need to talk about it now.”

            “Maybe we do.”

            The look in her eyes was foggier than the night itself.  I wanted to grab her and shake her and make her tell me what was bothering her.  One night I did blow up on her and demanded to know why she was so melancholy.  That garnered no insight and led to two days of silence between us, so I knew I couldn’t make the same mistake again.  I sighed deeply and softly patted her arm.

            “Sua…I don’t know what you’re going through…”  I felt desperate; my voice sounded like it could crack at any minute from frustration, or maybe even misery.  “Whatever it is, I want you to know I’m here for you.  You can tell me anything.”

            I watched a tear slide down her cheek, reflecting the bright white moonlight.  Her eyes glistened, and I saw a million emotions swimming in those shallow pools of tears.  She grabbed my hand suddenly as her lower lip began to quiver.

            “I’m just so scared…I’m so scared of being separated from you guys.”

            The fear in her voice sent a shiver down my spine.  “Sua…in this day and age, how could we ever be separated?  We shouldn’t worry about this.  We’ll all make time for each other as the years go by.”

            “What if time is not enough?”  Sua’s hand shook as it held mine.  “What if we’re separated by more than time?  I don’t want to be alone.”

            Grabbing her by the shoulders, I forced her to face me.  “Sua, what are you talking about?  I’ll never let you be alone.  I told you I’d do anything to keep us together, and even if it’s not realistic, I meant it.  I’d go to hell and back for you.”

            Panic filled her eyes, and she grabbed my arms in return.  Sua never knew her own strength in general, but her grip on me was so strong, it was my initial reaction to push her away.

            “Jiu, what if there was no going back?”  Her fiery panic slowly broke down into helpless regret.  “What if you could only go to hell for me and we couldn’t return?”

            “Sua, you’re scaring me!” I cried, staring at her wide eyed.

            She looked defeated and let go of me, and I did the same.  She turned back to the fog, and I couldn’t see her desperate expression anymore.  I could only hear her anxious weeping, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.  I had never seen her so uncontrollably upset.  Without any other idea, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her from behind.

            “Sua…I don’t know why you’re being like this, but I would never leave you alone,” I whispered shakily, feeling tears welling up in my eyes.  “Even in hell, Sua, I wouldn’t leave you alone there.”

            “Do you mean it?” she whimpered.

            “Of course I do.”  I pushed my face down onto her shoulder and began to cry.  “Why are you being like this, Sua?  Please trust me, I won’t leave any of you alone.”

            Her little, shaking fingers wrapped around my arms and we cried together for a little while until the fog appeared to lift a little bit.  Sua’s breaths became steady, and we sat in silence.  I think we made ourselves sleepy with our tears; the rest of the night seemed like a blur.  But I think she smiled.  I think she felt better.  I woke up the next morning with a book on my face, strangely enough.  But I felt content, and I hope she did too.