A/N: Hey everyone~ I just wanted to apologize for taking such a long time with this fic and taking such long hiatuses.  I finally graduated from college last week so I plan on putting all my effort into finishing this fic ASAP and working on the sequel right away.  The sequel will be concerning the rest of the Dreamcatcher music videos as well as a universe crossover with Cosmic Girls! Anyways, I also want to apologize for all the typos in the previous chapters. Even this one I'm posting now, I didn't even proofread because I want to hurry and give you something for waiting so long.  But I plan on proofreading all the chapters and fixing them once the whole thing is done. It's sloppy work, but for some reason it's my plan, lol
Also, I know it may not be of interest to all of you, but once it's finished I'll make a playlist for the entire fic with certain songs corresponding to certain chapters.  I hope you'll enjoy it~
I expect this chapter will surprise you and maybe confused you a little, but I hope everything will be enjoyable to you in the end!

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Chapter 11 START:

I sat on the floor next to Gahyeon’s bed as she tried to fall asleep.  She was tossing and turning, giving long sighs and looking at me curiously from time to time.  I could tell she was angry, but I knew I was angrier.  Who else had the right to be so angry except me?  I guarded the three of them from the truth to keep them sane, to keep them alive.  If they felt resentment for me for being so harsh, I couldn’t help it.

But even with these thoughts filling my head, I couldn’t get the image of Dami’s face out of my mind.  She was surprised and confused; she even seemed terrified of me.  I wished she could understand where I was coming from.  But knowing the truth would probably make her as furious as me.

I looked up at Gahyeon again and realized she had been staring at me for a while.  Her eyes were no longer filled with confusion and anger; they were just sad.  As she kept her gaze on me, I realized that as hard as I tried to protect them from Sua, I couldn’t protect them from what I was becoming in my frustration.

“Just…stop it,” I whispered, turning my head and covering my face with my hand.  “I know you hate me but you don’t understand.”

“Can’t you tell me what’s bothering you, Jiu?”

“I…No.” 

“Come here.”

She pushed her blankets off of herself and reached out her hand to me.  As much as I didn’t want to make myself vulnerable to sleep, the night was getting colder and I my back was aching.  I slowly got up and climbed into bed with her where she covered the both of us and wrapped her arms around me.  Ignoring her prying gaze, I laid on my back and stared up at the ceiling, half of me praying I wouldn’t fall asleep, the other half hoping I would sleep for three days straight. 

“I know at the beginning of this trip we were bothering you about your graduation,” she began quietly, resting her head on my shoulder.  “A lot of us were scared and you made us feel better.  But I don’t think we thought of how scared you might be.”

My heart beat slow and heavy as sleep began descending on my body, and I relied on her voice to keep me awake.  Even so, her soft voice and her concerned words scared me.  I could feel her worry through the way she held me so tightly.  I remembered I was in her place just a little while ago, subtly begging her not to follow in the others’ footsteps.

“I think we’re scared to lose you and Sua but maybe you’re just as scared to lose us too.”

Her words were like a knife and they jolted me from my sleepiness for a moment.  I took a deep breath as tears formed behind my eyelids.  “Gahyeon…”

“You carry so much, Jiu.  But it’s okay to let go and tell us when you’re scared or sad.  We won’t fade away so fast.”

“Gahyeon, don’t let me fall asleep,” I begged, though I wasn’t sure if my mumbling could even be understood anymore.  “Gahyeon, please don’t…”

My heartbeat flowed from a tired, light pulse into deep, overwhelming pounds.  An intense prickling spread across my limbs and I felt like I was being swallowed up by death rather than sleep.  I knew if I could just open my eyes or wiggle my fingers for even a moment I would break free; but I couldn’t.  Every cell in my body was as heavy as iron.  The darkness behind my eyelids faded to blue, then gold, and then the brightest white I had ever experienced.

I’m sure I never opened my eyes.  It was like they were ripped open by two shades of light above and below me.  The light was still and blinding, then began to sparkle with violet and lilac specks.  I could hear shallow ocean waves crawling up a soft shore, and the faint sound of hungry seagulls haunted from far away.  Just as I heard it, a stunning horizon gradually appeared before me.  The flittering water just twenty feet away from me was the prettiest turquoise I had ever seen.  It gently caressed the white sand under my bare feet that sparkled like diamonds.  

As I felt a cool breeze run through my hair, I noticed the most beautiful cobalt butterflies dancing in the wind all around me.  They seemed to glow with an energy even surpassing the lively world in which they existed.  I couldn’t help but smile as they surrounded me.  The air was absolutely full of them, yet they were spread out all along the shore.  I could see the masses of them swirling up and down the shore for what seemed like miles.

I looked back at the sea and was surprised by the vision of a towering figure of a winged woman glowing brighter than even the diamond sand.  As she hovered over the water, I was filled with excitement and wonder.  It seemed as though her light could devour my entire soul, but fear was unable to enter my mind.  As I stood there in what felt like slow motion, I realized that there was no sun, and the light of the day that filled the entire beach came from her and her alone.

I saw the Women of Light look down, and I shocked to see a girl kneeling before her in the water.  The girl’s long brown hair was the darkest thing on the entire beach, and by the shape of her shoulders I began to realize she was Sua.  I watched cautiously as the Woman reached her radiant hand down to Sua and gently ran it over the top of her head.  Gold seemed to trickle down her fingers onto Sua’s hair like tears.  She finally took Sua’s hand and lifted her from the water. 

“I will go.”  Sua’s voice was but a whisper, but it boomed and echoed inside my ears.  “She doesn’t want to see me.”

“It’s not you.”  As the Woman of Light spoke, the air vibrated and the butterflies fluttered feverishly around me.  Her voice was like the heat of the summer sun.  My body shivered from the warmth, but I felt neither too hot not too cold.  I felt myself slowly leaning forward, eager to hear her speak again.

“What do you mean?” Sua asked.

“It is not you she doesn’t wish to see,” the Woman answered with her sunshine voice.  “You are simply being used an emblem for an invisible and inevitable terror.”

Sua wrapped the large hand in her arms and held it close.  As I stared at her, she seemed to fade into the Woman’s light and disappear.  When I looked back at the Woman’s shining face, though I could not see her eyes, I could feel her gaze on me.

“Jiu,” she called, so lovely and softly.  My heart raced within me.

“Who…Who are you?”  It felt wrong to ask; it felt odd not knowing the identity of this being who made me feel like all my dreams would come true.

“I have never felt the need to be called by anything,” she answered lyrically, bending towards me.  “But the ones here first called me Yuzhou.”

As she approached me, I thought I would back away, but I felt even more drawn unto her.  “You were talking to my friend.”

“I was talking to my friend, yes.  Sua comes to me often for comfort whenever you choose to accuse her.”

In spite of her voice being of pure light, or perhaps because of it, I felt ashamed by her words.  She seemed so bright that I could barely look at her anymore.  I looked down at the ground and hesitated.

“Why did you bring me here?” I questioned as I stared down at the glittering sand.  “Is this a dream?”

“Have you ever seen anything so marvelous on your earth?” she asked as a swarm of butterflies gathered on either side of her body.  “This is more than a dream.  This is my perfect world where all the purest desires may be manifested.  It is what your earth aspires in vain to be, though it is limited by a darkness that will never leave.”

I could not understand what her words meant or how they related to me, but somehow my heart knew they were the truth.  I couldn’t even think of what to ask next and simply stood there in silence as the world around me bustled with light.

“Sua has tried desperately to explain everything to you, but your fear as left you like a hard stone,” she continued.  “So I have brought you here, where fear cannot enter.  And rather than wait for your questions which may or may not satisfy your every curiosity, I will start clearly from the beginning.  You are aware of the book.  The Witch’s Journal.”

“That book…”  Even as I thought of it and the pain it had caused me, I could not be filled with anger or fear.  I looked back up at the Woman, longing for the answers she might have for me.

“It started as a journal, yes,” she explained slowly.  “Her name was Anabel Mallory.  She was a talented alchemist in England from an era known to you the fourteenth century.  Her daughter Eva contracted the dark illness plaguing the land during that time.  She was foolish, but not without love, for calling upon a malevolent savior for her sick daughter.”

“The spider?”

“The spider is only the outstretched hand of the dark spirit known as Hei’an.”  Her wings suddenly snapped back and forth, sending glittering droplets of gold to fly across the ocean and along the shoreline.  The sudden wind knocked me to my knees, but, feeling no pain, I only took a deep breath and stared back up at her for more answers.

“Your earth is broken,” she continued, as if nothing had happened.  “That is why I send my light to you that you may have goals and aspire to rise above the brokenness.  As you sleep, you may touch the brim of my world, so gain strength and hope.  In this way, sometimes you consider the words ‘dreams’ and ‘goals’ interchangeable.  Yet if you had only this vision of a perfect realm, you would constantly disappointed by your own darkness and be driven insane.  That is why Hei’an was chosen to be a steward of fear.  He provides the fear that is necessary for your world.”

“Why is fear necessary for my world?” I questioned wearily, the truth of her words weighing down on my body and heart.  “I don’t understand how it could be helpful.”

“Fear reminds you of the consequences of your darkness,” she explained.  “In your world there is pain, both of body and mind.  There is illness, there is death.  Fear is necessary to help you avoid these things as you pursue the world to which I beckon you.  But Hei’an was not a worthy steward of fear.  He began to create his own fears, irrational fears, horrifying fears.  He thinks of you as less than the dirt on which you stand.  He receives joy from seeing you cower in terror.  That is why he created his own world, which Sua has called the World of Dreams.  He draws the helpless to spend the rest of their days.”

“The witch and her daughter…Did he take them?”

“He took Eva through his cursed spider.  Anabel followed through a mirror; they are portals into his realm.  At that time, I had banished Hei’an for many centuries as punishment for his wrongdoing, but Anabel breached the barrier between your world and his when she summoned him.  His trick is through the spider; it is the vessel for his curse as well as the sacrifice.  Those who were cursed belonged to him.”

“Sua…Siyeon…Handong…Do they belong to him now?”  My heart beat violently as I was overwhelmed with a heavy longing.  “How was Sua here in your world?”

“Their suffering was too much.”  Her wings drooped ever so slightly as spoke.  “All the souls he claimed were tormented by not only their own fears, but the fears of those all around your earth.  Salvation could only be accomplished one way.  One had to take Hei’an’s entire curse upon herself and be separated from both your earth and my perfect world.  Seeing her daughter’s suffering, and knowing it was her own fault, Anabel took this task upon herself and was banished along with his curse to another realm.”

“Then…they’re free from his curse?” I asked expectantly.  “Because of Anabel’s sacrifice?”

“Anabel had already crossed into Hei’an’s World of Dreams when she bore the entirety of the curse, so her sacrifice does not cover your realm,” she interrupted.  “Unfortunately everyone under his curse is bound to die in this realm, but you will be free from his world and his will when you become a dream yourself.”

“I…will not…cannot…”  As much as I wished to argue against her words, her presence made me hesitant.  “I feel like I can’t deny you, but I cannot accept this for me or my friends.”

“You’ve said this so many times to Sua, but even to me you resist,” she noted, her voice like a lively melody.  “Your will is quite strong.  You’re more afraid right now than you have ever been in your life, but even so, you hold stronger to my dreams than Hei’an’s fears.  It’s this same will that led Anabel to break the curse in the World of Dreams so long ago.  But I’m afraid nothing more can be done, Jiu.”

“I have to try…”  I was overwhelmed, but still without fear or hate.  My body and mind were weary, and even though I was inside a dream, I felt like I could fall asleep yet again.  I slowly let my body fall to the sand and closed my eyes, resting my head on the warm sand.  “I have to try…Please let me wake up.  I need to try.”

“Oh, Fearless Jiu, you try too hard.  You need to sleep.  Just sleep…”