It has been really late at night. It is the time where people are usually getting ready to go to sleep or some of them even got in their dreamland already. The roads in Seoul are still crowded, even though it is now quiet compared to how crowded it was in the morning or evening. The light in that studio is still on, as well as the music which has been repeated for the uncounted times. That-quite-tall-body is still drowned into his dancing, seems like he doesn’t care about the night that has gotten deeper, the time that has gone really late. After the ending of the program, practicing until late at night has almost become his every day routine. He did that to push away the loneliness that haunted him so far. Remember that he is not one of the winners. He is one of those trainees who are being left behind.

       The mirrors inside the studio are dewy. He didn’t really remember when the mirrors got blurry. All he knew is that he has to work harder so that he could get closer to his dream. The 16-year-old boy is panting while looking around his surroundings. He is amazed and a little surprised knowing the mirrors around him had become blurry. He kneels down, reaching for his half-filled water bottle, and get up to turn the music off. His mind goes back to the days he had spent during the program, the program that had made him all alone in the end because his label mate was one of the winners.

                “Ah, so I am a vocal? But, I think it is better if hyung begins first,”

“Congratulations! You got in! Keep on your hard work, okay? I’m sure you’re gonna be one of the winners. I’ll vote for you as much as I can because now I’m also one of the national producers….”

“It’s okay! You’ve been good enough! Keep on that fighting spirit and practice hard. You really have to survive here until the end, okay? I will keep voting for you!”

“Seonho really likes me a lot.. but, to be honest it was a little bit burdensome for me hahaha,”

                “You can like me, but do it normally, okay?”

And his flashback stopped there.

         He walks towards the dewy mirrors with his shaky legs. He writes a name there, a name that has been staying in his mind since the day he got to know him in person.

“This is the end of the program, so, I won’t get to see hyung that often anymore, aren’t I?”

“Aish, what are you saying.. you can still see me, of course. We have to eat some meat together, the treat is on me!”

A faint smile curved in his mouth recalling that meat-treat from his hyung. He stares longingly into the name in the mirror. His mind keeps wander back to the time where he and that man were spending their time together. Well, it is true that he was the one who initiated almost all of their interaction. He was the one who hugged him first, calling him with a special way that sounds a little annoying but funny at the same time, wipes away that man’s tears without asking for his permission first even though he is older than him, and even brave enough to kiss that man’s cheek in the final concert.

         The 16-year-old-boy is still busy with his own flashbacks until the studio door suddenly opened. Jumped in surprise, he leans towards the mirror with that man’s name and erase it slowly with his right hand meanwhile his left hand is trying hard shaking the bottle to deliver the last drop of water from it to his mouth.

 “Oh my, I didn’t know that you’re practicing that hard until you run out of water like that… Stay still, I’m getting you another bottle from the office,”

The 16-year-old-boy turns around slowly, glancing at the person who opened the door and giving him a nod and his wide grin. He sighed in relieve after his manager goes away. He turns back to the mirror, eyeing the name of the person he has been missing so much that had erased by his own hand.

Hyung, what are you doing now? Are you eating well? Did you get enough sleep? I want to see you again..

His daydream got cut off by another footstep that getting near. He rushed to his bag and act as if he is looking for his phone inside it.

            “Here, Seonho-ya. Drink a lot, you have worked really hard lately,” said the manager, handing the boy a new bottle of mineral water.

“Haa.. thank you, hyung-nim!” he chirps, trying to sound as bright as he could while opening the bottle and drink half of it right away.

“It has been really late, kid. Go home now, you need to rest well. And, don’t forget about your photo shoot schedule with CeCi tomorrow,” said the manager while patting the boy’s shoulder and smile.

He finished his drink and put the empty bottle in his bag. He gets up and bows to his manager.

“Then, hyung-nim, I’m going first. Thank you for the water!” he said, giving his wide smile in the end of his sentence.

 “Yes.. yes.. of course, go home now. Make sure that you got enough rest, you still have a lot of time to practice until Guanlin gets back here,” said the manager.

The mention of Guanlin’s name make his heart skipped a beat. Actually, it is not that name which make him surprised, but the fact that Guanlin is now in the same group with his beloved man. He keeps on walking with his manager, and they separated in front of Cube’s building.

            The boy walks home still with his chaotic mind. His gaze is full with gloom. He looked down almost all the way home, only look up once in a while to make sure that he is not lost somewhere. He stopped in the intersection. His eyes pinned to a billboard and a wide screen showing the pictures and advertisement video of a beverage starring the eleven members of the group of the winner, Wanna One. His eyes immediately move in a rush looking for a familiar face that he missed a lot. There he is. He looked at that picture with a small smile curved unconsciously in his face. He stood up there for a moment until he brought back to reality by his own yearning that grows stifling. He doesn’t want to explode in public place, so he took a last glance towards the picture and run back home while panting hard.

            It is two in the morning. He is still awake. His eyes are still faithfully pinned to his phone, staring longingly to the pictures of the man he loved.

Hyung, do you know why I practiced until late at night almost every day? He thought, caressing the picture in his phone slowly.

Because I want to be up on the stage with you, hyung. It feels so damn long if I have to wait for my official debut next year. It feels that I’m going crazy, really. I want to visit you in Wanna One’s dorm one day, but doesn’t it seems impossible? Your schedules are so tight. I don’t want to disturb your spare time, hyung. You also have to rest…

The boy’s eyes got teary. His finger is still eagerly swiping his phone’s screen with his eyes staring longingly to every picture until he stopped in one picture. He zoom it in, and he breaks down. A single tear is streaming down his cheek.

I will be so glad to have the chance to hug you once again, hyung. It’s been so long since the last time I got to see you….

He closed his gallery, setting his alarm, and decided to sleep. He wipes away the tears in his cheeks and giggles. His mind automatically recalling the memories he had about him and his beloved man. He tried his best to ignore it. He wants to rest. He is tired with his daily routine, tired of all those never ending practices, all of those hangouts with his friends that he hopes one day will turn into hangouts with that man, and one thing: he is tired with his own yearnings.

The 16-year-old-boy pulls a pillow next to him and hides his face there.

I miss you, hyung…

Do you mind to meet me in my dreams? Just a minute, it’s okay.

I just want to hug you once again..

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yo wassup, everyone?

Here is the next chapter, from the point of view of our cute byeongari, Yoo Seonho. How was it? Did you get the sorrow feels?

I wrote it in Indonesian first and translate it to English the day after but I think my mind wasn't in its right state when I translated this, so.. please excuse my grammar and (maybe) weird choices of words T.T

anyway, I'm looking forward to your feedbacks. Thank you~

-cutiepie21-