***

Taeyeon stretches her arms and legs as she feels awake little by little. Throat's a bit dry, head's throbbing a bit from last night's drinking session with Yuri. Her memory is a bit of a blur. She stares at the ceiling trying to collect the pieces from last night.

Ah!! I don't know!! She shakes her head and sees her old phone in her hand.

Shocked, she inspects the phone.

Jessica! Je-jessica texted!! And I fell asleep!! She palms her face with a silly feeling on how timing is playing with them. She hurriedly jumps out of bed and washes up for breakfast.

With a bread in her hand, Taeyeon patiently waits. Almost not blinking.

Beep.

Taeyeon feels so uneasy. She wants to do something. The feeling of wanting to make it up to Jessica makes her restless. After all those years of contemplating, Taeyeon now knows that she just can't let Jessica go now.

She rings Jessica's phone.

Hello?

Yes, Taeyeon?

I'm---uhh---Are you free today?

I am....

Uhh---I want to see you...Jessica.

....

So...? Uhh---

Why are you being so...(whispers) cute?

What?

Nothing. Haha! So, what time?

How about lunch? My treat!

Call!

See you!

Call ended

Too bad their cafe is close for this day, Taeyeon wants Jessica to meet Yuri too. She thinks it will make her feel a lot less awkward. As much as she wants to see Jessica, a part of her is just not ready yet. This is just a friendly meeting, she mutters to herself.

A list of places starts to queue up in her mind. Not knowing if Jessica changed already, if she still likes what she likes before or is she even the Jessica she knew before. A lot can change through the years, you know.

Flashback

"What Jessica wants, Taengoo wants too." Taeyeon digs in her vanilla ice cream and feeds it to Jessica.
"What Taengoo wants, Jessica wants too." Jessica feeds Taeyeon a spoonful of her chocolate ice cream.
"How about cucumbers...?"
"Uh, nope. Nope. And...nope."

"You're upset?"
Jessica hangs her head in front of a pouting Kim Taeyeon.
"..."
Jessica plants a sweet kiss on Taeyen's forehead
"Still?"
"You know me so well." Taeyeon now feels reassured that everything's doing fine.
 

"I love you, Taeyeon!"

"Taengoo, take care! I love you!"

"Call me when you get home, Taeng! Love you!"

end of flashback

Taeyeon never answered. Those 3 words were too heavy for her to take. I love her as a what? She just waves back to Jessica everytime. She just smiles when Jessica says that 3 scary words. Her heart sinks when she hears Jessica's silent cry.

I know for sure you're feeling the same ways as mine. I just don't know, I was not so sure of this. I'm not sure of me, She gulps at the memories. She wishes to turn back time to tell Jessica what she needed to hear.

I hate myself for being an . I bet you think I'm playing with your feelings back then, she hisses.

She sulks. She knows she loves Jessica even back then until now. She has proved that you'll know how much something or someone's worth when they're gone. If she was Jessica, she would've hated herself too.

***

Jessica goes out to her balcony for a fresh morning air. Questions are beginning to line up in her mind. Questions she wants to ask Taeyeon before that were left unaswered.

flashback

"Sica, I thought I'm your bestfriend??" Yuri whines as she grasps Jessica's weak arm.
"Uhhhh~ you're heavy, Kwon Yul!!" Sharp pitch rings Yuri's eardrums. They are strolling along the University park while they wait for their next class.
"It's just been months and you and little girl Taeyeon are inseparable. I'm jealous."
"Don't be! You both are my....friend."
"Friend? Taeyeon is just a friend?" Yuri smirks as she looks at Jessica with squinting eyes.
"Yah~~ why?"
"Oh, nothing. I just don't see you looking at me like how you look at Taeyeon."
"Aniyaaaa~~~!"
"Ack!!! Stop whining like a dying dolphin!!!"
"What?!?!" Dolphin screams attacks Yuri throughout their stroll.

"Taengoo," Jessica stares lovingly at Taeyeon while the small girl works for her English report.
"Yes?" She answers without taking her eyes off her paper.
Jessica tucks Taeyeon's hair behind her ear as it falls on her cheeks, "You're so pretty."
"I am really pretty," she answers in english with korean accent as she looks at Jessica and flutters her eyelids.
Jessica can't help but giggle, "I'm just kidding."
Taeyeon bursts a defeat laugh.

Taeyeon talks about her day was while they're spending time at Jessica's place. Jessica doesn't know she's staring. Everything goes slo-mo. The way Taeyeon flutters her eyelids, the way she opens to speak, the way she shakes her head as she laughs, the way she bru