Ah, soulmates.

Baekhyun didn’t care too much about his soulmate, if he was being perfectly honest, it didn’t matter too much to him whether eventually he got married or fell in love with his perfect match because he didn’t like the idea of possession.

He learned at a young age that life can be treated like a big game. And while he was the king of his own chess board, toying with the white pawns, he was unaware of his heart’s true desire. He always thought that a person is never half, nor wanting to be made whole, and even if the special person didn’t come along, he’ll do just fine. 

But that wasn’t the case. 

Several things ran inside Baekhyun’s mind as he waited outside her apartment building. Part of it convinced that he should forget what Taeyeon advised, and yet, there was a small corner of his heart which fought against the fierce rational determination with which he ruled his life. He was rigid. He had to be. But he was so tired of fighting against himself; he knew that his soul would forever be restless, if he didn’t do this. He just had to know.

It was that simple

It was raining all evening and the day had settled for a light drizzle. Baekhyun parked his car and stood outside, leaning against it. It was very cold but the chill didn't bother him though. He liked how it made his face dry and stinging. Standing in his long, woolen coat, he looked over her apartment. 

He hated waiting, but he’s been doing so for the past 45 minutes.

 A rustle. An unnerving noise of rattling shoes. Balanced steps. After a moment, breath – close enough to pay attention to it, to make skin shiver just a little bit

“Baekhyun?" he heard her calm, even voice breaking through the great reverie of silence and the patch of never ending thoughts. "What are you doing here?”

“Hi Haru,” he greeted, staring into her eyes. Startled dark, dark brown eyes met his. She was different, yet still instantly recognizable. Her face had thinned, and her hair, still black, was shorter now. She was casually dressed in a loose-fitting white shirt and jeans. 

“Are you waiting for someone?” she asked, looking around briefly before looking back at him.

Baekhyun didn't show on the outside how much her voice pleased him. He felt her hands on the back of his palm and closed his eyes for a few seconds. 

"You’re so cold. How long are you standing here, really?" 

Baekhyun let out a sigh, his gaze drifting away, avoiding eye contact. “I just arrived,”

There was a momentary flicker, there, in her eyes, then a frown. “Liar,”

He made a face, like it was physically painful for him to discuss his feelings; if asked. “I’ve been waiting for a while,” he admitted, but he refused to tell her that he didn’t mind it. 

“You could’ve called me,” Haru said, voice soft. She wanted to ask him something but stopped midway, fearing he’ll dislike her proposition. Then she decided to ask him after all, “I’m going to buy ramen at that convenience store,” she pointed to a distance, “Do you want to eat with me? I’m buying,”

//

Haru find it unbelievable when he agreed to join her. They took the spot closest to the window, and while Baekhyun waited, Haru went to fill the ramen bowls with hot water.

Baekhyun remembers his first impression of her. She have changed completely- and he liked it. When she’s with him, she’s the same bright Haru who chats about everything. She and he have grown up in different environments, they have different lives, and they also think differently--yet in spite of all these differences, Baekhyun enjoys spending time with her. 

No matter how it seems now, he must confess: he loves her. He do not think that he will ever love anyone like that again.

PATTT! 

She smacked his shoulder loud, “What are you thinking, Byun Baekhyun?” she asked, sitting down across and pushing the ramen bowl towards him. 

Baekhyun remained there with completely gob smacked at her reactions. He was composed enough to not show any of his reactions on his face, but the unrestrained emotions she portrayed unsettled him. Looking at her twinkling eyes and moving lips, he realized she was still talking.

“Haru,” he said, looking a little embarrassed, but then he added, quietly, “I missed you,”

He wasn’t sure if she heard him or not, but he noticed a small delicate smile on her face that calms him down tremendously. 

"What about you? Have you been thinking about me?" he asked, his voice a low rumble. 

Haru looked somewhat confused, but was quickly recovering her wits. "Yes." Her answer was simple, and honest, uttered sincerely. 

She knew just what to say to get him going, it seemed, her wits a match for his own. Her playful nature presented a myriad of possibilities.

He leans across and squeezed her hand tighter before admitting, "I've been thinking about you, too. I try not too, but I can’t,” He paused, trying to keep his tone casual. "We should spend some time together, have dinner. Maybe go for a walk. Just the two of us," 

He'd also kind of been hoping to visit Japan again with her. 

He felt her face shift and she tries to release her hand from his grip, “Baekhyun,” she chuckled uncomfortably. 

He tightens the hold of his hand on her despite sensing her resistance, “You came into my life really fast and I liked it. I like you so much, I don’t know what to do. My heart so fast when I know I’m going to see you again,” he paused, as she looked up into his face, her eyes large, and very dark, “I like you very much,”

She looked at him as if he lost his mind. She was frozen, her eyes going to the table as she tried desperately to process this. 

This could not be happening.

 “I’m with Sehun,” she said, releasing her hand from his, looking very flustered. 

“It doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you,”

“Stop joking,”

“Does everything I say sound like a joke to you?” he asked, slightly offended. 

Stunned, Haru just stared at him. He swallowed, hastening to try and explain himself, “I know you’re with Sehun. And he’s a nice guy, he really is. But, I know him  better than you can possibly begin to guess. I know things about him  that you don't even know,” he said, pressing his teeth together. “He's on the outs with society, he had a rough childhood, an even worse set of teenage years. He yearned for his mother whom he actually loved very dearly. That stuff, I'm not debating. He had a rotten go of it, “ he continued, “But that didn’t mean it’ll work between you two. It's just that sometimes I think maybe you and him are trying too hard to make this more than just a friendship.”

She winced. 

“Sorry. But can you honestly tell me you don't feel it, sometimes? Like maybe you’re  just together with him because you know it, already? Because you expected to be,” Then, he sobered, his brown eyes finding hers again. “But he doesn’t excite you anymore, does he?”

She went completely speechless with his preposition and stared at him, shock permeating her entire being. “You sound so cynical,” she replied, her voice full of acid. “I thought you’ve changed Baekhyun, but you’re still the same manipulative person as you were before,” she said, disappointingly. 

He frowned a bit. Something dreadful settled in the pit of his stomach, “I’ve always been the same Baekhyun,” he corrected tightly. 

“Yes, you’ve always been the same. It was silly of me to think otherwise,” Her expression cleared as she shot him a calculative look.  "What are you trying to angle for, Baekhyun?" she asked, feeling a little nauseated by the whole conversation. 

He was reluctant to touch her, wary of her reaction; and as he watched her, he noted her clenched fists, white and bony, and the absence of expression on her face, the glazed look to her eyes. "I want you to consider it," he said. She just stared at him, and he lifted his eyebrows. "Me. I was honest when I said I like you. I want you to take me seriously.” He looked at her hands, “The little I have, I share with you; I’ll be kind. I’ll be whatever you want me to be,” he said, a tad bit of desperation in his voice. “Let’s be together,” 

Haru looked at him, her expression being slightly different. She wasn’t furious nor angry. After spending nearly a minute speechless, she said, softly, “I was wrong. You've already changed a lot from the man you were when we first met in that library. I've seen glimpses of the man I think you can be, and I’ll think of you every time I need to be reminded that there is goodness in places we expect the least.” 

She smiled at him, and it looked like almost an apology, “But I can’t be with you, Baekhyun.”

An immense pain stabbed him in the heart. He was going to walk her outside the store and then stand and watch her go. He wanted to say goodbye. 

But suddenly he felt like part of his life was going to be taken away from him now and would never be given back. 

Placing his head on the table, he let the irrational tears fall unrestrained. He cried over the loss of something he never had. 

//

She had not called. It had been almost to a week, and she hadn’t called. Sehun was frustrated. At first, he’d been content to wait, to let her come to him. But it had been 6 days. 

Why hadn’t she called?

 He had thought that her natural attribute of clearing things would get the better of her, but so far it hadn’t. And increasingly, he found his work, which usually kept him sane, was not holding his interest.

His thoughts, more often, were on her. 

Maybe she’s grown sick of you.

He remembered what Kai told him and it was the most terrifying thought to have ever occurred to him. 

He stood up from his desk, trying to ignore the burn in his throat and the craving it signified. Some days were harder than others. He knew what type today would be.

It was late evening. The light of the sun hung in the sky like a marigold, filtering through the wide windows, flung open, and the mellow evening air was welcome in the stuffy room. Sehun went to stand by the window, deep in thought.

He had slipped.

He was onto his fourth glass of whisky. Usually he limited himself to two – though he’d indulged in an extra glass at dinner sometimes– but this was not good. Despite the beauty of the fine summer evening, the sweetness of the air, Sehun felt like he was drowning.

He had waited and waited. He’d given it all day, tried so hard to be patient, and he still held out hope that she would call yet. But as he watched the glorious day start swinging to a close, the still-bright sunshine turning burnished and bronze, casting longer and longer shadows, Sehun was losing faith.

He took another sip of his drink, before grimacing and dropping the glass to the floor, sending it shatter into pieces. 

That final taste of alcohol had caused the headache, which had been lingering around the base of his skull for most of the day, to suddenly, it moved to the forefront.

Deciding to have a quick shower, he headed towards the washroom. 

The shower was a good idea, he admitted, as the powerfully hot spray hit

his neck and shoulders. He allowed the water to course over his body for a minute, before wetting his head and reaching for the shampoo. As he lathered up his hair, his headache began to abate.

Fine. He’ll give in this time, he thought. He’ll call her tonight, he decided. 

And then, just as he was rinsing the last of the shampoo out, he heard it. A phone. His phone.

He jerked suddenly as he realized what it could mean. He leapt from the shower, pulling a towel around himself and ran out the door to his study. Thankfully, it was still ringing, as he reached out a hand to pick it up. He didn’t even allow himself a moment to think, or even feel. It would do no good at this stage, anyway.

“Hello,” he panted slightly, being out of breath. 

//

She hadn’t called yet. She had wanted to, really, she did. 

It was close to ten when things finally began to settle down for the day. The issue with Baekhyun lingered in her mind. Although she told herself not to bother, Haru simply can’t let it go. She wanted to talk to Sehun about it, even when she knows he won’t take it lightly. 

She was utterly spent.

She went to her room, sitting on her bed and reaching for her phone on the nightstand. Oddly, she could feel her heart going thump-thump-thump, just as it did on her morning run; and as she searched his name, it picked up pace, galloping in her chest like a runaway horse.

As the phone began to ring, she tried to calm herself, and instead found herself thinking about his nice, low voice, and wondering if it would sound as nice on the phone, and then realising what she was about, she gave herself a mental slap.

            “Hello?” he said, just a trifle out of breath.

A beat of silence, and then:

            “Hello? It’s me, Haru,”

There it was. Her voice. Soft, a bit uncertain, and muffled slightly by the line.

            “I know,” then a pause. 

            “I’m sorry I didn’t call you before now. I mean, I thought you wanted some time to cool off,”

            “Oh, you needn’t worry about that,” he answered, his headache, all previous anxiety and frustration gone; he simply couldn’t                believe that she’d actually done it, “I wasn’t bothered by it. I was so busy I didn’t even realized that you didn’t call,” He lied. 

There was a long pregnant pause and Sehun went anxious, thinking that he might have offended her. 

            “Hey, you still there?” he asked, slightly panicking. 

            “Yes,” she began again, her tone warm, almost amused. “I’m sorry. I shouldn't have said things the way I said them.”

Sehun paused. 

Well, that was unexpected. And he was perched in his room in nothing but a towel, the shampoo still dripping from his hair. 

But that was irrelevant. This was his chance. 

            “Well,” he cleared his throat, “Good that you know,” he said with a hint of scorn. 

            “I want to talk about it. I'll be at the coffee shop tomorrow morning like usual. I hope you're there, too,”

Sehun lowered his phone to his chest and tried to suppress his wide smile before placing the phone back to his ears, “I’m quite busy but surprisingly I’m free tomorrow,” he said, “10?”

            “Okay,”