Myungsoo’s POV

Since the incident, something had changed. I can’t completely see them but somehow I know, just like now, why is he deep fast asleep when I’m all wide awake?

                He used to blush at everything I do, but now he just smiles and told me to knock it off. Sometimes he acts like his old self but then there’s this look in his eyes that I don’t understand.

                Back then I get punched a lot when I do stupid things but now he rarely even looks in my direction. He acts as though we’re in a relationship when there are people around us but as soon as we’re alone I can feel that he doesn’t want to be around me.

                These things, they kept me up at night. I keep staring at his back when he’s not facing me. In the morning he tried to keep our conversation as short as possible and we’ve spending a lot of time apart.

                Sometimes I would see him talking to other people I didn’t even know he knew and when he smiles at them… it’s not the smile that he’s doing when I’m with him. Yet I was glad that he’s alright.

We still sleep on the same bed, but this past week not once did we get to bed at the same time. Every time I came out of the bath he’s already asleep and I don’t know if I should wake him or not that in the end I just decided to pull him close to me. I used to sleep buried in piles of pillows but ever since our arrangement it’s hard for me to sleep when I can’t feel my roommate next to me. I still haven’t apologize for letting him be in danger and I don’t want him wandering around without me… *le sigh talk about how much of an idiot I am…but

When I saw him lying unconsciously on the hospital bed, for a moment I thought everything went black and I just wanted everything to disappear.

It’s been more than a week since the accident happened, I was not satisfied how things went but until now I’m don’t understand much on the situation. I wanted to ask him but every time I try to I find myself stopping midway through. Woohyun-hyung and the rest of his friends wouldn’t say a thing either. The only person that was there during that time had already been gone.

After the incident that person didn’t showed up in class which is only the right thing but then Sungjong kept on asking for him, we’ve been told that he’s preparing his things for his transfer abroad. When I found out that he was staying on our dormitory and right next to our room I feel like punching him wasn’t enough.

Seriously, is he like an ambassador for heaven or something? How can he calmly talk to the person who almost got him burned? When we got home that night, I can clearly see the marks on his hands and I am no fool that a fire caused them. Why is he covering so much for that guy? Don’t tell me it’s just because they’re friends!

I can still feel the anger surging up in me every time I see that person. I just can’t think how Sungjong can easily forgive such person after everything that has happened.

                ... …

But then again who am I to say those things when in the first place if it wasn’t for my stupidity nothing of these things would have happen. In a way I’m just the same as that guy, probably even worse.

I had this odd feeling that I don’t want him to be kind to others but me, it’s like seeing him talking to people I don’t know ticks me off. This feeling that what if other people will just hurt him and deceive him again is making me cautious of the people he talks to.

Of course I didn’t attend the party, hell knows what I will do to him when I’m there. I was too dumbfounded to even say no when Sungjong said he’s going. Sometimes I really don’t understand how my roommate’s brains works out. Even though I was a relieved knowing Woohyun-hyung and the others are with him but I can’t take any more chances so I decided to stay outside by the restaurant.

                Thinking of waiting for him back in that big empty house isn’t such a good idea, it made me think of things I’ve been trying to hide until now. Fall is already here, and it won’t be long when snow will start to fall. I hate anything that falls from the sky, be it snow or rain. I hate how it tries to wash up the pain or cover what I feel but those memories kept on haunting me. I never want to go back to that place, I never wanted to see that house again.

For so long I’ve been trying to find something to be able to help live outside of my nightmare, I never knew that, that “something” turns out to be a “someone”, and that someone turns out to be the person I used to walked passed by then.

                We’re in different worlds, after meeting his sisters I can see the difference between me and Sungjong. Back in high school we didn’t interact that much, he’s always been surrounded by good friends he can spent time having fun with. It’s not like I don’t have friends but time after time that they found out the ones they like confessed to me and things got awkward so I started to choose to spend my time in own company alone.

For every confession I refused the rumors grew, when I tried to explain no one wanted to listen. I didn’t care what other thought of me, I was only focused on trying to win the person I was in love with. For me the only person I need is the one made for once made me feel like I was needed. I pushed my feelings as strong as I can, trying to compete with someone I know I can’t beat and in the end I lost count of how many times I’ve been rejected.

Thinking if I work hard and show that I could be worthy then the person I like would fall for me. In the process I even ended up following him through university, I thought that if I keep showing how serious I was then my feelings would reach him.

Growing adults looked at me as a substitute, someone who’s there to fill someone else’s shoes when needed while kids my age had to smile at me because they have too. When the accident happened I watched as everyone rushed to my brother’s side, I standing in the rain watching everything but no one seemed to notice, like I wasn’t there I began to think I was dead. Then just as I was about to truly believe I was dead someone reached out to me and asked if I was okay. I looked at the person and thought it was probably an angel but then that angel brought me back into the house, nursed my wound and smiled as told me everything will be alright.

That time I decided, I want that person to always smile when he looked at me. I wanted to protect him too just like what he did to me. Then, when my brother returned and I saw that no one was happier than anyone else but him.

Probably that time I knew I already lost even before the game started but then I used the fact that he can’t tell his feelings and tried to win that person’s heart. When I entered the university I was ready to drown myself in liquor and prayed that someone would just run me over just to end everything. I don’t know if I’m an idiot or just plain stupid trying to tell my feelings but getting dumped each and every time, I was ready to throw myself in the next car driving by but then every morning when I woke up I would find a glass of water and aspirin waiting for me.

The small things he does, saved me. I spend my time more and more with Sungjong. Sometimes I regret not approaching him back in high school, but god was I happy that by miracle I ended up being roommates with the person like him.

At first it’s that look when he got lost too deep in his thoughts that made me notice him. I used to see him smiling and happily chatting with other people that somehow seeing him alone in his thoughts is a surprised for me.

Second, as we got closer I began to see something even amazing beside his personality. It’s the fact that he can turn simple things and places into something memorable. I still can remember how he brought me to the rooftop for dinner and how I laughed thinking my ears are gonna blow up. We sat and looked at the stars, his words will make you laugh but then at the same time it will make you feel like it’s not bad to wake up for the next day.  

               Then time went by and my curiosity got ahold of me, I find it interesting to see his expression changed and find ways to annoy and . He tries to fight back but that deep blushing face he has, I can’t take them out of my head and before I knew about it I was teasing him on a daily basis. It’s like he was the only normal thing that’s happening in my life at that moment.

During the times that I was drunk… actually there are times that I’m not really that drunk and no matter how much I drink I would remember bit and fragments of things that happened before I totally past out.

Then one morning, I woke up with a memory of kissing someone but I couldn’t recall who it was. I wanted to ask Sungjong but one of my friends had an emergency and I had to help. On my way back to the dorm I saw Sungyeol-hyung waiting for me. He asked if we could talk so went to the nearby park.

“Last night, that was the last time you’re ever going to do something like that” Sungyeol-hyung said and my mind immediately thought about the kiss.

“What do you mean? How many times you’ve been doing it with my brother what’s wrong with me doing it?” I said. But something’s strange, I can’t put my finger on it but I wanted to really confirm if the person I kissed was Sungyeol-hyung.

“You and your brother is different, don’t compare him to you.” As Sungyeol-hyung was leaving I pulled and tried to kiss him.

“What do you think you’re doing?! I only helped you last night because I didn’t want your brother to know what you have been doing! My god! What is wrong with you?!

“So, it’s not you? Then who…?”

End of POV

                Myungsoo slowly wakes up, he blinks twice trying to regain himself and found that he’s still in bed with Sungjong sleeping beside him.  

                “It’s been awhile since I had dreams huh” he rolled over to put his arms around the sleeping boy. Sungjong stirred but the cold weather outside made him snuggled closer to the warmth side while the older boy did his daily routine of staring at his roommate,

                His lips are really blushing and the color gets deeper towards the center, I wonder how many girls he kissed with these lips before.  The older boy’s thoughts led him to gently touch the sleeping boy’s lips.

                “Guess I’m one lucky bastard to be called your friend after all?”

                Before Myungsoo got out of the bed to the bathroom he traced his finger on his Sungjong’s nose, slowly making a stop on the small pigment on the latter’s nose and making a *peep sound with his lips while trying not to laugh.

 The bath was running and the sun was making its way to the horizon, Sungjong stared at the empty space beside him. It’s still warm proof that just moments ago there was someone sleeping next to him.

He slowly reaches on the pillow and buried himself underneath the blanket, if he only woke up a few minutes earlier, he would have caught his roommate playing with his nose.

..............................................IDeviant..............................................................................

Yes! A full length chapter just for Myungsoo! Thank you for reading up until here guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter ^^

Holidays are upon us! ... hope I survive T.T it's hard travelling this time of year. I get sick when I spend time with a lot of crowd like your energy is being drained in such a fast rate I had to drown myself with energy drink lol and lots of coffee!  XD

gingerbread here I come!

Merry Christmas from all Seven Days Characters ^^