Hello! Here you have a new chapter which didn’t exist a few days ago...

The previous version needed to be improved a lot so I rewrote it entirely,

following the precious advices of Fortify_Countrye!

I hope you’ll enjoy the final result! <3

***

         Hakyeon is starting to fall asleep when Taekwoon’s voice breaks the silence.

         “I’m sorry about earlier.”

         Hakyeon has to fight against both alcohol and sleep to remember what Taekwoon is apologising for. He turns to face Taekwoon and is surprised to find him so close. He must look confused and Taekwoon elaborates.

         “At the club.”

         Hakyeon remembers now.

         “Ah, it’s okay. I forgot about it already.”

         He’s glad however that Taekwoon has apologised. He knows it’s not really in his friend’s character to admit that he’s wrong so easily. Taekwoon can be quite stubborn. So Hakyeon smiles to him reassuringly and extends his hand to gently pat Taekwoon’s cheek.

         Taekwoon still looks concern so Hakyeon pokes his cheek to make him smile and he giggles at the weird face he obtains. Frowning, Taekwoon catches Hakyeon’s hand in his own to stop him and Hakyeon realises that his gesture might have made Taekwoon uncomfortable. However Taekwoon doesn’t release Hakyeon’s hand but places it between the two pillows, his own hand warm and comforting around it. It’s nice and Hakyeon is about to close his eyes to sleep when Taekwoon starts talking again.

         “Are you happy?” he whispers.

         “Mmmh...? Of course I’m happy. Why?” Hakyeon doesn’t understand.

         “I don’t know... I... When you’re dancing and when you’re flirting like that... There’s something desperate like you’re in search for something or trying to forget... I don’t know...”

         Hakyeon suddenly feels nauseous. He’s faltering under Taekwoon’s gaze and tries to avoid his eyes but Taekwoon is too close and when Hakyeon lowers his eyes, all he sees is the worried curve of Taekwoon lips. He’d like to turn away but his hand is still trapped under Taekwoon’s and he feels like crying. He doesn’t know what to say so he forces a smile to repeat the same answer to Taekwoon, even if it’s a lie.

         “I’m okay... I’m happy... Really...”

         But Taekwoon squeezes his hand as if to say that it’s okay to be sad, okay to feel lonely sometimes, and Hakyeon feels the tears gathering at the rim of his eyes.

         “I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have asked... It’s just... I can’t help worrying. Since Eunji, you haven’t been in any stable relationship and...”

         “Taekwoon.” It’s a warning. Hakyeon doesn’t want to hear what Taekwoon has to say about his past relationships, how they never last and how ty he feels when they’re over. He knows that already and that the probability for one-night stands to become something more serious is rather low. He knows all of this but doesn’t want to talk about it with Taekwoon when he’s the main reason Hakyeon never really gave anyone else a real chance.

         “I just want you to be happy...”

         “Well, I’m the only one who can make it happen, right? It has nothing to do with being single or not.”

         He jerks his arm away to free his hand from Taekwoon’s grip and curls it against his chest in a protective way. It’s too much and Taekwoon should know there are things he doesn’t want to talk about. Now he feels sad and angry, a combination of emotions he’d rather deal with alone. He wants to cry and to kick Taekwoon out of his bed, out of his bedroom, instead of keeping everything inside, as always. He doesn’t, however, and struggling to keep the tears at bay, he tries to think about something to lighten the harshness of his reaction. It’s Taekwoon, though, who starts to talk again and reaches for him with a hesitant hand.

         “I’m sorry. I know I’m bringing this up a lot tonight... I... You know how I’m the worst with words... What I wanted to say, it’s just... You’re my best friend. You’re important to me. And yes, I want you to be happy and if you’re telling me that you are, I believe you, Hakyeon. It’s just... We haven’t seen each other for a while and with the distance now... I... You would tell me if anything was wrong right? If I could do anything? You know you can talk to me and I’ll listen, right?”

         “Yes...”

         Hakyeon is crying now, his face covered behind his hands, and he blames the alcohol that makes him so weak and sensitive tonight. Taekwoon is awkwardly trying to comfort him by rubbing a hand along his arm. Hakyeon supposes that Taekwoon would have preferred to avoid having to deal with his emotional breakdown. He knows that Taekwoon isn’t comfortable with people crying in front of him, so Hakyeon tries to give him an explanation.

         “It’s lonely sometimes.”

         What he doesn’t expect is to be pulled into Taekwoon’s arms. He sobs anew at the unexpected gesture, while Taekwoon gently his hair, whispering soothing words to him.

         “I know. I’m sure you’ll find someone, Hakyeon.”

         And they should be painful, Taekwoon’s unknowing cruel words, but it’s them which lulled Hakyeon to sleep, secure in Taekwoon’s embrace.

         “I’ll always be there for you, you know.”