Cha Hakyeon awoke to the sound of Jaehwan arguing on the phone. Realization struck him, as he looked down at his yet again form. When had he become such a despicable person? Perhaps Wonshik was the only reason he was ever decent. Slipping out of bed, he listened carefully to friend as he dressed himself for the second time that morning, self hatred brewing inside of him like a storm, a hurricane of dark words and even darker thoughts.

“I am such a ...” Murmuring, he closed his eyes for a moment, tossing his phone onto Jaehwan’s bed. Once he walked out the front door, he wanted to lose all connections he had with the two men he had allowed to sleep with him. Needing to clear his head, to decide the best plan of action for what he should do next, Hakyeon managed to dodge past Jaehwan and into the apartment complex’s hallway. Giving a heavy sigh, he began to walk, leaving the building, only one destination in mind, the only place he could think to go for such an important decision.

Feeling dizzy, a part of him wondered how he was honestly still alive, exerting much more energy than his poor sleep and lack of sustenance should allow. “What would Wonshik say?” Taekwoon’s voice echoed through his head and he let out a bitter laugh. Maybe he would find out soon enough. And maybe then, when he and his husband met again, Hakyeon would be left alone, disowned for his filthy actions in the past few hours. It was all he truly deserved. Wonshik had given him everything and in less than two weeks after his death, Hakyeon had already had with his ex and his best friend.

It was a quick walk to his destination but already his muscles screamed with pain, not nourished enough to withstand the abuse. A sign loomed ahead, the entrance to the cemetery getting every closer. By the time he reached Wonshik’s grave it felt as though his body was on fire and the world around him was spinning. Sinking to his knees, he wrapped his arms around the headstone and let a torrent of tears escape him.

It felt like hours that he held onto the cold stone and sobbed, though he was sure it had only been a few minutes, but exhaustion finally overtook him and slowly he found himself curled up beside Wonshik’s burial plot, staring blankly at the still settling dirt, one arm reached out to touch the headstone, to keep him connected to the other man. His ring caught the sun, glittering cheerfully for a moment and briefly it felt as though Wonshik was by his side again, caring for him as only Wonshik ever could.

“I messed up...” Hakyeon whispered weakly, his voice barely audible as he drifted in and out of consciousness. “I love you, Wonshik... Please... Please forgive me...” Unable to produce any more words, Hakyeon just hoped his husband understood that he was sorry. Sorry for sleeping with Taekwoon, sorry for sleeping with Jaehwan, and more than that, he was sorry for causing Wonshik’s death to begin with. Slowly, the world began to darken around him before his eyes closed and he slipped into the oblivion of sleep.

Jung Taekwoon arrived at Jaehwan’s apartment in a matter of minutes, slamming his fist on the other man’s door in anger. Determined to bring Hakyeon home with him, he was going to do what he could to repair the damage the past few hours may have caused. What he was met with, despite the hostility he had been anticipating, was utter panic.

“He’s gone!” Jaehwan wailed as the door swung open to reveal the distraught man.

“What... What do you mean ‘He’s gone’ Jaehwan?” Heart dropping, Taekwoon pushed past the other man to search the apartment himself for any signs of Hakyeon.

“I hung up on you and I... I went to check on him...” Following after him, Taekwoon held out an object, Hakyeon’s phone. “He was already gone and he... He left this and I don’t know what to do... We have to find him...”

“Just... You stay here in care he comes back for his phone...” Fear began to set in as he turned to leave. I’m going to go find him.”

”Stay here so you can be the hero?” Jaehwan huffed, glaring at Taekwoon. “That isn’t fair.”

“No. I am not the hero.” Biting his lip, Taekwoon stopped in the doorway. “I am the villain, Jaehwan. I always have been. But right now... If he’s planning anything that I think he might be... He needs me to be the bad guy... And if he’s already done it... You don’t need to see him like that.”

“Oh... Oh god...” Horrified, Jaehwan sank to the couch, a hand over his mouth. “You don’t think he would... No. Hakyeon wouldn’t kill himself... Right?”

“Not the Hakyeon that had Wonshik, no.” Staring down at the floor, Taekwoon felt ice cold as he thought about what he may find once he tracked down the man he loved. “But the Hakyeon that lost him, that was just used by the two people who claim to love him... This broken Hakyeon that wont even eat anymore... Maybe you and I... Maybe we pushed him too far, Jaehwan...”

Before the other man could reply, Taekwoon was leaving, returning to his car in the parking lot. First, he would check the home Hakyeon had been sharing with Wonshik, the place where his happy life was supposed to begin, to play out. A place where his happily ever after never got a real chance to blossom, perhaps he’d find solace there.

Sanghyuk had given him the address a while back, hoping Taekwoon would reach out to Hakyeon, to at least reconcile a friendship between himself and the beautiful redhead. Unable to face Hakyeon with Wonshik, he had never contacted him , but had drove by a few times, wondering if he could, missing the other’s smile, his laugh. Maybe those were things he’d never hear or see again...

Reaching his destination, Taekwoon raced out of the car, trying to front door only to find it locked. Wavering for a moment, he took a deep breath and broke a window, climbing inside, the stillness, the emptiness, made him feel uneasy as he crept through the rooms, searching for Hakyeon among the relics of a life he never got to have. A small sense of relief ran through him as his search turned up no sign of the other man. Something, though, caught his eye and he picked it up, hauling it back to the car with him.

His next destination scared him the most. A place that only the dead occupied. Driving for the cemetery, Taekwoon’s heart pounded in his chest, his fear growing the closer he got. Finally, parking his car, he took a moment to regroup, to attempt to brace himself for whatever he may find. Exiting the car, he began to walk among the headstones, a figure curled up beside a grave catching his attention.

“Hakyeon!” Running to his side, the tan man was unresponsive, skin pale and pulse weak. “Hang in there. Please, Hakyeon. I’m here. Hang on.” Lifting him into his arms, Taekwoon ran.