Cha Hakyeon sat in the front row as the man at the podium droned on, words of God he had no interest hearing. Where was this man’s god when Wonshik was ripped away from him? Where was this man’s god now, while Hakyeon was the one allowed to walk this earth and Wonshik, handsome, kind, loving Wonshik, was rotting away ever so slowly in a human sized box?

Ornate, made beautiful with intricate design, it was still a box. Much like one would bury a cat in a shoe box, they were burying Wonshik in this abomination, this sorry attempt to make what was happening somehow easier, more acceptable. Yet, nothing could make this anything but what it truly was, a ceremony to dispose of the man he loved, leave him in the cold, damp earth to decompose like garbage. Eyes scanning the large object only feet away from him, he felt a terrifyingly hallow sense of distance between himself and what lay within the wooden confines.

Slowly, as the seconds ticked by, the words spoken around him became more muffled, indistinguishable as actual sentences. Chest tightening, it became harder and harder to take in air. Faintly, Hakyeon was aware of Jaehwan gripping his hand and Taekwoon’s comforting arms around him, their attempts to soothe him bringing nothing but distress. Soon it felt like he was drowning without water, his chest heaving with each rapid rise and fall, unable to bring in enough oxygen to sustain him. Vision getting slowly blurrier, darkening around the edges, he finally broke, what little remained of his resolve shattering like the windows to Wonshik’s totaled car.

Ripping himself away from his companions, Hakyeon threw himself at the coffin, the tears he hadn’t realized had been welling up during the service bursting forth. Body shaking from the force of his sobs, he tried to cling to the cold, hard wood in front of him, nails scraping over the stylized engravings of roses and feathers that decorated the lid. Arms wrapped around him and he shrieked, trying to fight them off without breaking contact with the box in front of him.

“Hakyeon, stop. Please.” Taekwoon’s voice pleaded in his ear, only making him sob harder. He couldn’t bring forth the words, he couldn’t tell them what he had been thinking since the incident. This was all his fault and he deserved to be the one who paid the price for his actions. If he could turn back time... But he couldn’t and all he could hope for was that death may soon come back for him.

“Hey. Hey stop.” Acutely aware of Jaehwan kneeling beside him, he pressed his forehead against the casket, unable to move away or stop his soul shattering wails of heartbreak. It didn’t take long before Taekwoon was dragging him, kicking and screaming, away from his lover’s prison and out of the church.

“GET OFF ME!” Screeching, he lashed out, his fist making contact with Taekwoon’s jaw. The other man released him, stumbling back a step. Rubbing his jaw, he gave Hakyeon a distraught look, reaching out for him yet again. Striking out with another punch, he tried to back away, to return to his husband’s side.

“You’re going to hurt yourself... Please.” Taking a step closer, the dark haired man held out his hands like one would do as to not spook a wild animal. “Wonshik wouldn’t want this...”

“WHAT THE DO YOU KNOW ABOUT WHAT HE’D WANT?!” Letting out a scream of agony that strained his throat and sent him into a coughing fit, he found himself of his knees. A pain began to grow in his abdomen as he doubled over, curling into himself. Once again, he was in tears.

“. Hakyeon!” Sounding distressed, Taekwoon was rushing toward him as everything went dark.

Jung Taekwoon watched as the love of his life lost consciousness, falling forward into the pavement of the church parking lot. Fear plagued him as he dropped down beside the redhead, watching for any signs of life. Breathing labored, Hakyeon seemed more pale than normal and it sent a wave of panic through him. Unresponsive to his frantic calls, Hakyeon remained limp in his arms.

“What the happened?!” Jaehwan shouted, running to their side, his boyfriend, Daewon, close behind. “What did you do!?”

“I didn’t ing do anything! He passed out!” Screaming Taekwoon felt tears begin to slide down his cheeks. “Someone... Someone help him...”

“An ambulance is on the way...” Daewon hung up his phone, nervously watching the scene playing out before him. “Is that blood?”

“...” Gazing down at the slowly growing patch of moisture on Hakyeon’s tuxedo, Taekwoon felt his own heart stop. “His stitches...” Shrugging off his own jacket, he gently pushed up Hakyeon’s clothing to apply pressure to his wound.

“Hakyeon...” Jaehwan was beside him, holding the tan man’s hand, running his fingers through his hair. Cheeks wet with tears, the other man leaned down to press his forehead against their unconscious companion’s, sending a pang of jealousy through Taekwoon. “Please... You can’t leave me... I don’t know what I’d do without you... You’re my best friend... Cha Hakyeon, I love you and I need you to survive.”

“W-Wonshik...” Mumbling, Hakyeon’s words were almost impossible to hear, Eyebrows furrowing, he remained otherwise motionless. It was impossible for Taekwoon to overlook the fact that he could never replace the dead man and it stung, but at the moment, all he cared about was whether or not that man he loved would even make it through the day let alone long enough to love him again.

“I know, Hakyeon...” Jaehwan whispered between soft cries and sniffles. “I know...” The sound of a siren began to blare in the distance as Taekwoon kept pressure on Hakyeon’s abdomen, hoping desperately that it would be enough to save him. If he lost this gorgeous creature... Taekwoon wasn’t sure he could live in a world where Cha Hakyeon didn’t exist. Surely nobody could survive in a place so blatantly devoid of light, of color, and most of all, of joy. For, whenever he truly thought about it, the only times he had ever been really happy were the times when he had Hakyeon by his side.

“Come on, Hakyeon...” Begging the man laying before him, he felt tears sliding down his skin, dripping from his jaw and onto the jacket he held tightly in his fists. “Please don’t leave me alone again...”