Jung Taekwoon paced the hospital room, waiting for Hakyeon to wake up. Stitches replaced, the other man was in a fragile but stable state, ready to return home as soon as his eyes opened. Replaying the funeral in his mind, he couldn’t help but wonder if there was something more he could have done to prevent this particular trip to emergency room.

“Where is he?!” Jaehwan burst into the room, practically kicking the door down in his fevered quest to reach Hakyeon’s side. “Get away from him...”

“Excuse me?” Unable to comprehend the usually cheerful man’s sudden hatred for him, he took a small step closer to Hakyeon’s bed. “I have done nothing but try my best to get him through this. You have no right to tell me to get away from him when you have been missing since the accident even happened.”

“Daewon and I have been setting up Wonshik’s ing funeral while you let Hakyeon fall apart.” Jaehwan pushed him away from the bed, stepping between himself and the man he loved.

“Speaking of Daewon, is he okay with you showing up here to fight me for some kind of rights to Hakyeon?” Glaring, Taekwoon took a step toward him. “Is he fine with the fact you’ve always been desperately in love with Hakyeon, Jaehwan? Does he even know? Should I tell him?”

“Don’t you dare...” Eyes narrowing, Jaehwan stepped closer yet to the hospital bed. “Look. You had your chance to help him and he ended up in this place again. He’s going to come home with me now.”

“To hell he is. I will not let you get between us.” Growling, Taekwoon crossed his arms over his chest in frustration. “I am not losing him again. Especially not to you, Jaehwan. Go back to your damn boyfriend.”

“Well I’m not letting you keep hurting him. He’s been through enough.” making a move toward him, Jaehwan’s hands were balled into fists. A small sound stopped the two men mid argument, a soft sob from the man in the bed.

“Shut up...” Whispering, Hakyeon slowly eased himself into a sitting position, clearly in pain.

“Hakyeon...” Turning to assist him, Jaehwan found himself being weakly pushed away. Moving closer himself, Taekwoon tried to reach the injured man’s side.

“Shut up!” Lurching out of the bed, Hakyeon faced them with an almost feral look in his eyes, like a caged animal at it’s breaking point. “Both of you just shut the up! How dare you make this about the two of you... This... All of this... Is about Wonshik. It’s even about me. But whatever the two of you think you’re feeling right now, it’s nothing. You both claim to love me but here you are, only showing how truly selfish you are.”

“Hakyeon...” Jaehwan had tears in his eyes as he looked down, clearly feeling as much shame as Taekwoon currently did. It was true. He had been thinking more about getting Hakyeon back than he truly had been about what the man might have been going through.

“Jae...” Hakyeon’s savage look softened as he touched his best friend’s cheek gently. “Thank you for stepping in where I couldn’t with the arrangements. Go back to Daewon now and leave me alone.” With that, he turned his focus on Taekwoon. “As for you... You can off. I’m going home. To my home. That Wonshik and I should have been in. Without you.” The words stung him and he stepped away as Hakyeon began to pull on his clothes in anger, leaving the hospital robes in a pile on the floor.

Cha Hakyeon stumbled slightly as he made to leave the room. Rage and sorrow brewed inside of him, fighting for dominance as he staggered into the wall. Honestly, he wasn’t in any condition, both physically or mentally, to be alone but he could not stand one more moment with the two he had left behind in that room. With everything he had been through in the past week, listening to the two bicker over him like children fighting over a lost toy on the playground made him sick.

Leaning into the wall down the hallway, he stopped, allowing himself to slide to the floor as he burst into another wave of tears. Wonshik, the only man that saw him as more than a possession, a conquest, was dead. All that remained were two idiots who saw him only as an object to be desired, without any substantial feelings of his own. Yet he did have emotions, and they were in a constant state of agony. He couldn’t take it anymore, Hakyeon could not take feeling so alone. Being without his husband, it was just too painful.

“Oh god... Hakyeon...” Taekwoon’s voice sounded close and soon he felt the other man kneel beside him, arms encircling him in a protective hug and yet the only thing Hakyeon would want to be protected from had already happened. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’ve been thinking only of my own wants. Come home with me, talk to me. Tell me everything. Hell, tell me nothing, if it will make you happy. Just... I can’t leave you alone like this.”

“Leave me alone...” Voice cracking from emotion, he pressed his forehead against his knees. “Please... Just go...”

“No. I can’t do that.” Taekwoon’s head rested against his own as Hakyeon let out quiet sobs. “As much as you may think you need to be alone, it’s the worst thing for you, right now.”

“I would rather be alone than have you constantly trying to use Wonshik’s death as a way to own me again.” Hakeyon pulled away, causing himself a great deal of pain in the process. “I will not be your ing personal little secret again, Taekwoon.

“I’m not the man I used to be, Hakyeon.” Reaching out to hold his hand, Taekwoon sighed. “I changed. I changed because I know you deserved better. You deserved Wonshik. It was clear you two belonged together. I am so sorry he’s gone. And I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. But please, don’t think I’m the same man you left behind.”

"Aren’t you?” Slowly getting to his feet, Hakyeon moved away from the other man. “Did you not hear you and Jaehwan? I am nothing to both of you. Just a blow-up doll you want to occupy your damn beds. Something pretty to make you feel good. Well, newsflash, Taekwoon. I’m a ing person and I just lost the love of my damn life so excuse me if I’m not super thrilled about all your bull.”

“Hakyeon. Look. I’m done being selfish, okay?” Taekwoon shook his head, stepping closer to him. “I wont leave you alone like this. I wont be selfish any longer. All I want is for you to be okay again. Let me be there for you, do anything you want or need. And once you’re healed, you can go and I wont stop you. But until then... Let me do this one last selfish thing and take care of you.”

“Taekwoon...” Exhausted, he sighed and shook his head. “Fine. Whatever. I... I cant face that house without Wonshik by my side anyway...” Looking down at the floor, he silently admitted to himself the full truth. He couldn’t face even a moment without his husband by his side. Slowly, he was drowning in the quicksand of emotion with no way to claw himself out.