“Sun, you’re so beautiful.”

I could feel my body shiver as the words left the boys mouth. Not just any boy. My dream boy. We stood face to face and his sculpted jaw was gleaming under the sun. I watched his eyes as they changed color with every second. I could see myself in them because they were so clear. His head suddenly turned as he looked towards the setting sun, the light dying from the ground we were standing upon. I never dared to look away from his face because as the light died, his emotions went with it.

He stared at the receding sun for a long time, until it was completely gone. His eyes followed the ground to his feet and they stayed there while I just stared. His breaths were even and slow, as if he were calming himself. He inhaled sharply and peeled up to make his eyes meet mine. Now they were black.

“How could you Sun. How could you do this to us?” His voice turned cold and cynical. His face was so beautiful and yet it terrified me.

“I thought you loved us.” His voice quivered as he spoke, rising in volume. “I thought you loved me.”

“So-Young!”

I jolted from my slumber, sliding out of my desk and falling flat on my . The class erupted into laughter as the professor stared down at me with annoyance set deep into her features. I smiled sheepishly and stood up quickly, bowing as low as I could go.

“I’m so sorry for falling asleep teacher.” I spoke, my voice quiet. Sometimes I hated taking honors classes at my college. The classes were small so they could always tell if you fell asleep.

“Don’t let it happen again.” She pivoted and stalked back to the front of the room. It only held 30-40 students and I just humiliated myself in front of them all. Luckily it was only English 2 so Linah wasn’t in this class. She usually worked mornings and took night classes while I worked only weekends. Our apartment was cheap enough for both our minimum wage jobs but we had very little left over spending money. We both promised to save the majority that we had left in case of an emergency but the most we had saved up was a couple hundred dollars.

I sat back down as sneakily as I could. It wasn’t hard considering I sat alone at the very back of the room which left me plenty of time to sketch. I pulled out my journal and flipped over a new page. Recently, my dreams have become less inviting. I had always enjoyed them, more than reality most of the time. Sometimes I would even make up my own during the day and fantasize my dream boy was actually real. I was a lunatic, but I didn’t care much. Linah was all I really needed for now.

As I was sketching I felt the emotions again, the guilt and the worry and the fast beating of my heart. I pressed my pencil heavily into the page, creating the furrowed and disappointed brow as he stared back at me hauntingly. I glided the pencil down and began sculpting his lips, pursed and swollen from his yelling.