Jiyong sat on his bed watching the fancam of Youngbae singing Good Boy. For the 15th time. Not that he was counting or anything. It seemed a bit strange to see Bae performing the song by himself instead of the two of them singing it together, but he couldn't deny that Bae was owning that stage. 

     "You really are a good boy, Bae." He mumbled softly. "That's why I wrote that song for you. It’s why I fell in love with you too. Because you're not just a good boy, you're the best man I know.” 

     He paused.

     “God! I’m getting as cheesy as Daesung.” He snorted & then let out a sigh. 

     It seemed rather pointless that he could say all that now when Youngbae was nowhere around. But it was also safer. He still wasn’t sure that he could ever tell his best friend how he felt. 

     Back in the summer, he’d made the decision to deal with his feelings later. After he finished his tour. And he’d done exactly that. He had finished M.O.T.T.E. He still could hardly believe it, but he had done it. And although he missed the stage & seeing the fans & feeling their love wash over him, he was pleased with how the tour had ended. He felt he had finished well. And that’s all he ever really wanted. To finish well. But now... now the later had come. And he still didn’t know how to deal with the way he felt about his best friend. 

     “Is it possible to both accept something & reject it at the same time?” he wondered. Because that seemed to be what he had been doing; Simultaneously acknowledging his feelings & sweeping them under the rug.

     But at least he was still friends with Youngbae. Right? 

     “If that’s what it takes, then so be it,” he thought to himself. 

     Still, he missed his best friend. They’d texted regularly while they’d each been on tour, but Ji hadn’t seen his best friend since his birthday, when he’d surprised him by showing up to Bae’s performance on Inkigayo. Bae had, in return, surprised him with a small gathering & a birthday cake after the performance. 

     Just thinking about his best friend’s thoughtfulness almost made Ji tear up. It had really touched his heart. It still did. Because even though he was the rich & famous “G-Dragon,” no one else had thought to do something like that for him. Only Bae.

     “I really do have good taste in friends,” he muttered smugly to himself. 

     All joking aside though, he could not be more grateful to have Youngbae in his life. He only wished that he could do more to support him. Showing up at his Inkigayo performance, though Ji had greatly enjoyed it, seemed like such a small thing. What he really wanted was to attend a White Night concert. Ok. So maybe that wasn’t the ultimate goal, but it was what he wanted most right now. 

     He looked back down at his phone, the screen still displaying his Instagram feed. He scrolled past a couple of posts about food & left a comment on a cute pic that Seungri had posted of himself sporting a tiger cardigan. 

     “He’s finally catching on to all the fashion advice I’ve been giving him for the last 11 years,” he said with a chuckle. 

     Then he saw it, a new post from Youngbae (He always like to make those to thank his audiences for their support). The picture was simple: His best friend’s profile as he stood onstage. His silhouette was backlit in blue with the big screen displaying the same image, magnified times 100 behind him. The larger scale revealing Bae’s famous lip-bite.

     It was absolutely breathtaking. 

     Jiyong felt a tug in his chest. He thought it was rather like the moment when a fisherman knows he has caught a fish, so he tugs the line to set the hook. Except he wasn’t the fisherman. He was the catch. And he knew he wasn’t getting away this time. But in that moment, as he gazed at that picture, he didn’t even care. He missed his best friend so much it hurt. So much so that his mind wasn’t really in control when his fingers typed out the words, 

     “Really miss you so much. Really want to go (to your concert) so much.” *

     It was like he didn’t quite realize what he was doing until it was already done. There it was, in black & white on his screen. He actually had commented that. 

     He just stared at it for a few minutes. 

     “Ugh. I Really have to start controlling my emotions better,” he groaned, covering his face with his hand. 

     He felt like a 13 year old girl. Maybe he really was a drama queen. He kind-of hated that thought. 

     Just then he heard his phone chime. 

     He peered through his fingers at the screen. It was an Instagram notification. 

     Youngbae had mentioned him in a comment. 

     His hand dropped to cover his mouth as he quickly opened the app again. 

     A little red heart & a simple “I miss you too.” * was Bae’s  response. 

     Behind his fingers, a gummy grin split his face.

     It might not be a declaration of love, but it would do. For today, anyway. 

*English translation of actual comments from Jiyong & Youngbae on Bae’s recent Instagram post from White Night in Kuala Lumpur

AUTHOR’S NOTE: 

Hello, Dear Readers! 

I apologize for taking so long to update again. I haven’t had a lot of time to write recently. And honestly, I’ve been struggling with feeling uninspired with this story. I love the story & the characters, but I was getting nowhere when I tried to write. I actually seriously considered putting the story on hiatus because I was just getting frustrated with my attempts at forcing myself to write. Thankfully, the little Instagram exchange that I included in the story happened. (Thank you, Boys!) I’m hoping this will continue to help inspire more of the story & it will continue to unfold more smoothly. Anyway, thank you all for your patience & for sticking with me this far.

Until next time! 

ILuvToDae