After his outburst that night, Jiyong figured he'd never be able to relax enough to go to sleep. He was afraid that Youngbae heard him & his inadvertent confession. But he was tired after a long day, & being close to Youngbae always had a relaxing affect on him.

      The next thing he knew, he was waking up on his couch, a bit stiff from sleeping in an awkward position, & a little disappointed to find himself alone. As he sat up, he saw a handwritten note on the coffee table. 

     "Thanks for everything, Ji. I'll see you at work later. -YB" 

     Despite his disappointment in finding Youngbae already gone, he felt a bit relieved that he didn't have to face him quite yet. He wasn't sure how he'd react to his best friend now that he'd realized his true feelings. And he was still worried that Youngbae might have heard him blurt out said feelings the night before. He was pretty sure he wasn't ready to deal with the questions that might arise if that were the case. He hadn't had enough time to really come to terms with his feelings himself, so he couldn't be expected to be able to explain them to someone else. Especially the person who was the object of those rather confusing affections. 

     "Maybe he didn't hear me," he said hopefully to himself. "He was asleep, after all. I think..." 

     He worried about it all through breakfast, his morning shower, & halfway through his drive to work before realizing that all that worrying was getting him nowhere. He decided to just act natural & perhaps Youngbae would think nothing of it. The trouble is, when one is trying to behave naturally, one rarely does. 

     As soon as he got to work, the first thing he saw was Youngbae laughing & talking with the other boys. Bae saw him walk through the door & his smile widened, causing Ji's heart to do a little flip-flop & lodge somewhere in his throat.  

     "Hey, Bro!" Youngbae called out in greeting as he walked over & threw his arm around Ji's shoulder. 

     "H-hey, Bae," Jiyong said in a slightly strangled voice. 

     Bae had obviously put a lot of thought into how he was dressed this morning, & with the way his hair was styled... Add that adorable eye-smile of his to the mix & he just looked way too cute for comfort. Ji could feel himself going weak at the knees  

     "Act natural," he reminded himself. 

     "But he just looks so good!" he mentally whined. "And he smells good too!" He had to fight the whimper that was rising in his throat. 

     "ACT NATURAL!!!" he silently ordered himself. He gulped & pasted an overly bright smile on his face. 

     "Thanks again for last night," Bae said. 

     "Last night?" Ji parroted with a tinge of fear in his eyes, unsure of where Bae was going with this. Was this how the questioning would start? 

     "Yeah." Bae replied. "After that talk with you & a long sleep, I figured out what I should do to fix things with my baby. So I made her breakfast & we talked it over & decided to give it another go!" he said with a huge, happy grin. 

     A rush of sadness overcame Ji. He wasn't sure what he'd been hoping to hear, but apparently that wasn't it. He knew it wasn't logical, but he felt strangely rejected. He was now almost certain that Youngbae had not heard his accidental declaration of love the night before. But instead of being relieved, he found himself almost wishing that Bae had heard him. Because now it was too late. He had less of a chance than ever. 

     His smile faltered a bit as he almost choked out the words, "I'm glad for you, Bae," but inside he was screaming, "GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE YOU BREAK DOWN!" He pulled away from Youngbae & mumbled, "Excuse me. I've got to go... call... somebody." & rushed out of the room. 

     After that interaction, Youngbae noticed that Ji would often become silent whenever he was around, or he was simply too busy to talk. Bae was a bit confused by Jiyong's sudden awkwardness around him, but he didn't think too much about it because he knew that Ji could be a moody sort of man. He'd learned to ride out the ebbs & flows of Ji's emotions over the years. And his primary focus at the moment was on working to overcome the problems with his girlfriend & making sure things between them kept going smoothly. So he tucked away whatever was going on with Ji in the back of his mind to be mulled over later.

     Although he kept his distance, Jiyong watched how happy his best friend was with his girlfriend. Things seem better than ever for the two of them, & in a way, he was glad to see his best friend so happy. But at the same time, seeing the man he now realized he loved with someone else was slowly making him sick. He was mopey & not eating well. He always seemed tired, & his already thin frame was rapidly (& quite noticeably) becoming thinner. He was smoking & drinking more: basically living on coffee, cigarettes, & wine. Everyone could tell something was wrong, but he refused to talk to anyone about it. 

     Youngbae recognized Ji's behavior as how he tended to act when he was hopelessly in love & longing for his special someone. And one night at a dinner party with the other boys, he about falling hard for one of the Japanese models the media was always pairing him with, & asked, "When are you going to introduce her to the rest of us?" Jiyong did not reply, he just laughed. But Youngbae could tell his laughter was forced & he saw the pained expression on Ji's face so he sympathetically let the subject drop. He could see that Jiyong had it pretty bad, but figured he would tell him about his new love when he was ready. He never dreamt that the person his best friend was pining for was him.