心疼
/xinteng/

noun
1. heart ache

2. sadness and pain that comes from witnessing and sharing the pain of people you love

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Baekhyun couldn't sleep. He'd been tossing and turning for about an hour now. He just couldn't seem to force his body to relax; his mind to calm down.

Who was he kidding?

The real reason he couldn't sleep was because Yixing wasn't here with him.

Sighing, Baekhyun rolled over onto his stomach and smothered his face into his pillow. This was bad. Both Yixing and him were becoming too dependent on each other. It had come to a point where one couldn't even sleep peacefully without the other.

Ah who cared? Honestly, Baekhyun didn't give a . So what? Let them depend on each other. On good days, Yixing's touch, his words, his smile were a source of constant encouragement. On bad days, they were the only thing that kept him going.

Sighing again, Baekhyun turned and reached for his phone on the nightstand. Unlocking it, he texted Yixing:

Baek

Hyung where r u???

Five minutes later, Yixing replied. Baekhyun quickly grabbed his phone to check his response as soon as he heard the notification. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't been waiting eagerly for a reply.

Yixing

At the practice rooms. Why?

Baekhyun sighed at his screen. Yixing was out practicing when he should've been sleeping. Again.

Baek

When u gonna be finished?

Yixing

Umm... not for at least an hour and a half.

Baekhyun sighed again.

Baek

K I'm coming over then

Yixing

No no. You don't need to come! Baek you should sleep...

Baekhyun ignored Yixing's protests. Shutting off his phone, he rolled out of bed. After throwing on a pair of pants and a t-shirt he grabbed his keys and left the bedroom.

On his way to the door leading out of the apartment, he ran into Kyungsoo in the living room. The younger boy was bending over Chanyeol whose long body was stretched out on the couch. Baekhyun smiled at Kyungsoo's attempts to shake Chanyeol awake, to no avail.

At the sound of Baekhyun's footsteps, Kyungsoo turned and caught his eye.

The younger boy sighed, "He just fell asleep here."

Baekhyun chuckled, "I'm sure you can wake him up if you try enough. If not, you can just cuddle up with him on the couch to keep him warm." He winked at Kyungsoo for emphasis.

Kyungsoo just rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation. He changed the subject. "So where are you going at this hour, hyung?" he asked in a cheeky voice.

Baekhyun bit his lip. That little bastard.

"Well―uh... the practice rooms."

"You would never go to practice this late at night hyung," Kyungsoo scoffed. " Not by yourself. "

Baekhyun didn't reply.

Kyungsoo winked at him.

"Don't mock me!"

"You asked for it," Kyungsoo retorted. "So... Yixing hyung huh?"

When Baekhyun didn't say anything, the younger boy continued, "I'd advise you to make a move on him soon. He isn't going to be single and free forever."

Baekhyun mentally cursed his pale skin and his tendency to blush. So. ing. Easily.

"Shut up Kyungsoo-yah. I have no idea what you're talking about."

Kyungsoo just cynically raised one, perfectly shaped eyebrow at him.

How did he even do that?

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and decided it was too late at night to deal with his dongsaeng's . He blew a kiss at Kyungsoo and winked, "Good luck with Chanyeol."

Then he turned and left as quickly as he could before he was accosted with more uncomfortable statements on his relationship with Yixing.

He caught a last glimpse of a sleepy Chanyeol grabbing Kyungsoo by the waist and pulling him onto the sofa with him. Baekhyun had to stop himself from laughing at the sight of the giant cuddling into a flustered Kyungsoo from behind and engulfing the petite man in his arms.

Oh he was definitely going to save this as ammunition for later.

-

In SM Entertainment's building, Baekhyun made his way to Yixing's usual practice room where he would go when he wanted to be alone.

Over here, one never knew who one might bump into at any hour of the day―or night. All of us idols are pretty ed up, aren't we? Baekhyun thought bitterly to himself. Many idols would spend the dark hours of the night here practicing their problems away. It probably wasn't a very healthy coping mechanism. But whatever.

The building seemed to be a popular spot for romantic trysts. He'd come across many of his fellow SM artists in various states of comprising and scandalous positions. He could never forget that one time he walked in on Jonghyun and Taemin "practicing"...

Of course, those were secrets they'd all take to the grave.

Shaking the distracting thoughts out of his head, Baekhyun found himself in from of the door to the practice room. Sure enough, the loud thump of music could be heard faintly out in the hall.

He didn't bother knocking. Yixing wouldn't be able to hear him over the noise.

He pushed open the door and was greeted with the heavenly sight of Yixing dancing to an alluring beat. The older man was so focused on the task at hand that he didn't even notice Baekhyun's entry.

Baekhyun crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe, deciding to take full advantage of this opportunity. He always loved watching Yixing dance. Baekhyun could never figure out how his hyung could make it look so easy. Yixing painted pictures with his body. He could pull you in so that you didn't dare look away. The way his muscles rippled. His intense gaze. Utter concentration. The way he put every part of his being into perfection his movements. The fluid grace. It was hypnotizing. Mesmerizing.

Yixing finally noticed the other man's presence. He met Baekhyun's eyes in the mirror but didn't falter in his dancing. A flicker of shock passed through his features but it was gone as soon as it appeared.

Baekhyun just smirked and continued to watch Yixing with an appraising look in his eyes. There was almost something of a challenge in his gaze.

Surprise me.

Yixing never backed down from a challenge.

The dancer stripped off his black tank top that was sticking to his body and threw it aside.

His glorious beauty was on display for all to see. For Baekhyun.

Yixing rippled his body sinfully in time with the music. The gaze in his eyes had turned dark. Pupils widened. As he stared down Baekhyun, in the mirror he bit his lip and smirked.

Baekhyun's breath caught in his throat.

Yixing could be almost as shameless as Baekhyun when he wanted to be.

Baekhyun had to fight down the urge to walk across the room and grab Yixing right then and there. To pull him close and kiss him fiercely. Like he was drowning. To touch his bare body with his hands. To capture that plump, delicious lip between his own teeth and bite it. To marks onto his smooth skin and never let him go.

As Baekhyun watched him dance, utterly mesmerized, he caught himself his lips. . He was going to have a raging at this rate that even he wouldn't be able to hide.

Luckily, the song ended just as Baekhyun was about to give in and beg Yixing to stop. To plead for mercy. Yixing would've liked that.

As the music faded, Yixing turned to face him, breathing heavily but nowhere near as out of breath as anyone else would be.

Baekhyun just stared at him wordlessly for a moment before gasping out, slightly breathlessly, "Well. That was quite something wasn't it?" He smiled weakly.

Yixing just chuckled. His chuckles soon turned into all out laughter and Baekhyun found himself giggling along. Laughing as if nothing had happened. As if Yixing just hadn't put on the most ually frustrated show of the century for him. As if Baekhyun hadn't been on the brink of begging Yixing to just let go and him.

After a minute, Baekhyun walked over and plopped down onto a bench by the side of the room. Yixing followed suit and sat down beside him after drinking some water, toweling himself off and unfortunately thankfully putting his shirt back on.

"I thought I told you that there was no need to come?"

"Yeah but I wanted to," Baekhyun replied stubbornly.

Yixing rolled his eyes but smiles fondly at him nevertheless.

"Why though?"

"If you must know, I can't sleep without you. And I know you've been having the same problem too. Don't lie."

Yixing opened his mouth as if to protest, closed it, repeated the action then just nodded in defeat. He knew when Baekhyun was right.

Baekhyun reached out and grabbed Yixing's slender but strong wrist in his hand. "So come back home with me? Come to bed?" he asked in a small, questioning voice.

Sighing, Yixing pulled his wrist away, albeit reluctantly. "I will. But I think I need some more practice. There's just this one part that―"

Baekhyun cut him off, "Why do you feel the need to push yourself like this? You'll practice better in the morning anyway. Come back with me for now. You need sleep. I'm pretty sure half your problems can be put down to lack of sleep."

"I just need to do this. I can't disappoint―"

"Is that what this is? Do you think you're a disappointment?" Baekhyun asked sharply.

Yixing looked away and bit his lip.

"Is that what you're so afraid of? Of disappointing the fans? Of disappointing us?"

Yixing sighed again, "It's just―well I know how a lot of fans feel about me. I know that I'm not here when I should be. I'm not with you. It's―I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you all. I can't even be with you guys at performances and the fans hate me. I should be with you. Working alongside you. Every time I see the problems I'm causing on social media and stuff―"

Yixing stuttered and his voice quivered. He was speaking at a breakneck speed now, voice breathless.

Baekhyun felt his stomach drop. His breath was trapped in his chest. He felt like a deer caught in the headlights.

Yixing was still avoiding his gaze. Looking at anything but Baekhyun.

Yixing continued, "I'm so, so sorry. I am a disappointment. I'm trying my best but it's not enough. I should be working harder. I've let you all down. I said I would never leave you. I promised. And I meant it. I keep my word. But―even the fans don't want me anymore. Maybe it would be better for everyone if I...I don't know―" He stopped suddenly and in a large breath and choked on a sob.

The feeling of dread and helplessness in the pit of Baekhyun's stomach increased. He felt like crying himself. He could do nothing but reach for Yixing and pull him close. Hold him. Anchor him as he finally let go and sobbed brokenly, face hidden in Baekhyun's shirt.

Baekhyun soothingly ran his hands through Yixing's hair and his back. He felt like his heart was physically tearing with every sob the older man let out.

After what seemed like a painful, torturous eternity Yixing's shuddering, body-wracking sobs faded down to something closer to more subdued sniffling. After a minute or two more, Yixing made an attempt to move away. Baekhyun refused to let go.

When Yixing finally met Baekhyun's gaze, there was a broken, desperate look in his teary eyes. It broke Baekhyun's heart.

Baekhyun was angry. At himself. At the "fans". At the world. No one as precious as his Yixing deserved to be hurt in this way.

Finally, Baekhyun took his Yixing's hands in his own and glanced down at them. Yixing had pianist's hands.

Looking away from his hands, Baekhyun gazed intensely into Yixing's eyes. The older man tried to look away.

"Hyung, look at me," Baekhyun grabbed his chin and forced Yixing to meet his gaze.

"Listen to me. You have no reason to be disappointed in yourself. Why do you always put yourself down?"

Yixing just looked blankly at him, his face still tear-stained. Baekhyun sighed. He knew what the dancer what like. Yixing rarely ever believed anyone's praise and just thought they were being nice if someone complimented him.

Baekhyun continued, "First of all, the real fans know that you do your best to be with us. You try your hardest. None of it is your fault. You have no control over any of this and they know it. We know it. We would never blame you for anything so why do you blame yourself? You deserve everything and so much more. You work so. ing. Hard. All of us work hard but like Chanyeol said, you work the hardest hyung. I know you're going to disagree and say that that's wrong. You're just too nice. There'll always be haters. I say,  em. Who cares what they think? You have so many fans that absolutely adore and love you. You have countless more fans than anything else. And―and we know you would never leave us. If you did, that would be the end of EXO. We need you. You hold us together. We couldn't go on without you. And I―I just think you're absolutely amazing, hyung," Baekhyun finished fervently. (He was slightly breathless.) Trying to put all that he felt into his words. To show Yixing that he wholeheartedly meant each and every word he said.

At the end of his passionate speech, Yixing looked bashfully away. A slight blush colored his cheeks at Baekhyun's praise.

Baekhyun thought it was absolutely adorable.

"Th―thank you Baekhyun-ah. But honestly, I don't deserve all that praise―"

"Yes you do," Baekhyun said in an almost angry tone. "You deserve all that and so much more."

"Well thank you," Yixing blushed even harder.

Baekhyun was so far gone. He found the older man's blushing so ing endearing.

"Don't thank me. It was all true."

"I'm sorry about―"

"Don't apologize," Baekhyun cut him off firmly. "You've held me and taken care of me countless times before, don't you remember? At least let me do the same for you. I want to take care of you, hyung."

Yixing rewarded him with a watery smile and that was progress.

"Well, I'm sorry I probably made your shirt all wet by crying all over you."

Baekhyun chuckled softly, "Just an excuse for me to take off my shirt for you. Anyway, I don't want you thinking all those terrible thoughts okay? Anytime your brain tries to betray you remember how much we need you."

Yixing nodded weakly, seeming a little overwhelmed at Baekhyun's fierceness.

Baekhyun pulled the older man into his embrace again and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"We should probably be getting back to the dorms."

"Mmm. Just let me hold you for a little while longer."

Yixing chuckled softly, "We can do that in bed too."

"Okay true. That is an offer too inviting to pass up."

Baekhyun reluctantly pulled away and got up from the bench. He held out a hand to Yixing.

The other man looked at his outstretched hand and then up at Baekhyun. After a moment, he grabbed it and Baekhyun pulled him up.

Baekhyun vowed to always be there to hold him up. Just as Yixing would be there for him.

-

Back in bed, Baekhyun sighed contently into Yixing's hair. He never wanted to let go of him. Ever. Yixing was curled into him. Baekhyun held onto him protectively.

Yixing was always the one taking care of everyone else. Of Baekhyun. It felt good to be the one taking care of him for once.

The older man nuzzled his face into Baekhyun's collarbone. Baekhyun delighted in the feel of Yixing's body pressed against his. It never got old.

"And Yixing?" Baekhyun whispered into the dark.

"Hmm?"

"I need you too."

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I'm sorry this chapter is so late. I just got really caught up with life and I'll probably be super busy over the next couple of weeks so please excuse me if I don't post as regularly.
On the title change, I just felt like this new one was more appropriate. It'll probably always be Baekxing's Midnight Adventures for me deep down haha but I feel like the new title more effectively epitomizes the story. What do you think?
Of course, thanks for reading as usual. Comments and kudos are appreciated! <3