Some days are good. 
Some days are great. 
Some days feels like every second lasts a minute, every breath seems breathless, every through turns grey.
These days are days that friends just aren’t enough, family is too biased, and colleagues don’t understand.
These days I turn to her, but I never understand how she does it. How she stays so calm, how she listens to my every word, how she gets me so well.
And yet, I feel bad for ing about my day with the way she has to live.

Her soft hands run through my hair, carefully combing it back as she listens to all my complains about the day. A caring smile never leaving her lips.
No matter how horrible, painful, frustrating her day was, she will always listen to my petty complains. Like always, I sit next to her lifted bed in a chair, my head leaning on her lap, my hand on her knee, the other intertwined with hers.
‘I just don’t get it,’ I say sadly, ‘I thought I was doing well.’ She looks at me so lovingly and bows down to press a kiss on my cheek.
‘I’m sure it’ll all turn out ok,’ she says calmly. A silence falls, but silences are never silent in her room. The ever continuing beeping gets to me sometimes, but at times like these they give me space to think. It’s strange how I don’t even have to lay on her chest to hear her heartbeat.
Tears form in the corners of my eyes. Who gave whatever is up there the right to hurt a girl as perfect as her? Why is life so cruel? Why are the prettiest flowers always picked? Her soft hands place on my cheeks, carefully turning my head so that I’m looking at her.
‘Sehun,’ she says, hurt waved through every letter of my name, ‘you know I can’t stand seeing you cry. You are my strength and yet you seem prepared for the worst. It makes me think I’m already dead. Can’t you just be happy so I can be happy?’ I wipe my tears and put on a cocky smile as part of our play.
‘Me? Sad? You must be delusional,’ I joke, ‘what’s up y?’

After a great concert, me and the guys get off stage. We congratulate each other on finishing it, I text my girlfriend some pictures the staff made for me and head over to the dressing room to get changed. Just when I’m about to walk out, our manager steps in with a look on his face that tells more than a thousand words. 
The boys gather around me. Minseok lays a hand on my shoulder and so does Junmyeon. We all know it has to do with my girlfriend, we all know it. We just don’t know how bad it is.
‘Sehun,’ that is enough. Just hearing him say my name is enough. Something is wrong with her. Something is so terribly wrong.
Without saying another word, I run out the door towards the car park. The others chase me, call my name, try to get a hold of me, but I won’t stop running. Before I can reach the car, a security guard stops me. I hadn’t even seen him. I was too preoccupied with leaving.
Someone is in front of me, but everything seems muted. I look up and see Minseok in front of me, I feel his hands holding my face, and I feel myself slowly passing out.
‘Sehun! Calm down! We’re getting you to the hospital.’

Her body didn’t accept the donor heart she got…
After being on the waiting list until it was almost too late, her body decided against it. It just gave up. It’s almost like she was ok with dying, with giving up.
But the way she looked at me. The way she said: ‘Sehun, I’m scared.’ It said everything.
And now I’m here, in the hospital. Outside is a herd of paps waiting for me and the others and my girlfriend’s dying face is all over the news. But for some reason I couldn’t be happier right now. She looks so peaceful. 
We lie together on her bed, she traces the outlines of my face, and I admire her eyes while she tells me all her plans for the future.
‘And when we get really, really old, and we have a lot of grandchildren, we’ll have a big party when we’re married for fifty years and everyone will be there.’
‘Everyone?’ I ask her smiling. Her face lights up completely.
‘Everyone. The whole world can come,’ then her face turns a bit sour, ‘except those s who took pictures of me.’ I can’t help but let out a chuckle.
‘Aren’t you adorable,’ I joke.
‘No, they just gave me a lot of drugs to calm me down and get my heartbeat normal again,’ she says like it’s nothing. Tears sting my eyes again. ‘No, no, no, no, no,’ she says and squishes my cheeks, ‘you can’t cry. Then I’m going to cry and I don’t want to cry.’ I hear the beeping get a little faster. She is really worried about me crying about her. I press a sweet kiss on her lips.
‘I’m just really happy,’ I tell her.
‘Why?’ she asks curiously.
‘Because you seem so happy. Like, sincerely happy,’ I tell her, ‘it’s the first time in months since I’ve seen you this carefree.’
‘I told you, it’s the drugs,’ she says plainly, but she starts laughing drunkenly after finishing her sentence. I smile.
‘I just want you to know that I love you and I will always love you.’

“And the album of the year award goes to…EXO!!!”
Proudly, me and my brothers walk onto the stage. I close the line. The fifth album of the year. Fifth in a row. This is beyond amazing. I hope she’s watching me from the crappy TV installed in her hospital room that she refused to have replaced by me. 
The last few weeks, I haven’t been able to see her. She either had to rest, or I had work. I’ve felt horrible about it every single time I had to call her to say I was coming by later.
Out of nowhere my brothers stop walking. Minseok, who was walking in front of me, grabs my arm roughly and pushes me ahead of them. Confused, I look ahead.
It’s her.
It’s really her.
She’s standing. And not only that, she’s standing on a stage with me like she always said she would. Her angelic smile breaks me. I start crying as I walk towards her and wrap my arms around her. Her arms wrap around my waist and I hear her sob as well. In the background are loud cheers, but also loud booing.
We let each other go and she hands me the award. I take her hand and walk towards the microphone with her while the others gather around us. The crowd quiets down.
‘I’m sorry for crying, I’m just so overwhelmed. We got an amazing award, which I am EXO-l’s very thankful for, but also I have my girlfriend next to me. For those of you who don’t know, she has been in the hospital for a long time and this is the first time in months that I’ve seen her stand on her own. She’s even wearing high-heels,’ I say with tear filled words. Junmyeon grabs my arm and pulls me towards him a bit. He holds his hand out and I see the little velvet box I’ve had in my possession for weeks now. I just hadn’t found the right time to ask her. I take it from him with a grateful nod and turn back to the microphone.
‘I know I may piss off a lot of EXO-l’s with this, but I have found someone that I want to spend the remainder of my life with.’ I sit down on one knee and look up at my angel. 

'Will you marry me?'