Taeyeon put Ginger down on the couch. Slowly, gently. When she straightened up and turned around, Tiffany was still standing by the door, looking right at her. 

“He’s asleep,” said Taeyeon unnecessarily. 

“Nice."

Her heart was still hammering. It was funny — that was definitely not their first kiss, and yet, in the silence as they stepped into the apartment, Taeyeon couldn’t remember ever feeling so nervous. How was Tiffany so calm? 

“I—”

“Did—”

Taeyeon bowed her head. “You go first,” she said. Her fingers curled around the edge of her shirt, fighting to stop shaking.

“I…” Tiffany rubbed behind her ear. “Should I apologize?"

“For?"

“For kissing you?"

Taeyeon looked down before meeting Tiffany’s eyes again. “No,” she said.

“No?"

“No,” repeated Taeyeon.

Tiffany was standing straight; she had her confident pose on, but her face was pale and her eyes were frightened. “W-What should I do, then?” Taeyeon saw her swallow. “I just—”

“I’m sorry,” said Taeyeon suddenly. “For the past year. For everything."

She saw the tightening in Tiffany’s shoulders and instinctively stepped forward, into Tiffany’s space. Taeyeon looked up at Tiffany and took her hand.

“Not for the kiss. But everything before…it was my fault."

Tiffany shook her head violently. “No, it was mine. I should’ve— I should’ve fixed it, I should’ve talked to you more—”

“We should’ve fixed it,” said Taeyeon, squeezing Tiffany’s hand. “I think we both messed up."

“And neither of us did anything about it."

Taeyeon nodded, looking first into Tiffany’s left, then right eye. “I’m sorry."

“I’m sorry, too.” Tiffany gave her a wobbly smile. “I—I missed you so much."

It wasn’t even a conscious thought; Taeyeon just took the last step forward and hugged Tiffany with all she had. After a moment she felt Tiffany’s arms wrap around her, just as tightly. They stayed like that for a long time, before Taeyeon’s arms gave out and she fell against Tiffany. 

The first kiss was on the top of her head, then her forehead, and then Taeyeon tilted her head up and they were staggering not backwards but in a kind of sideways hobble, not breaking apart even when Taeyeon’s foot scuffed painfully against the wall of the hallway. She was just barely aware that Tiffany had stopped walking, and had sat down on the bed; Taeyeon was about to keep going when Tiffany put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her gently.

“Door,” whispered Tiffany, breathing heavily. “Ginger, he’ll—”

With intense effort, Taeyeon tore herself away. She didn’t even care about looking stupid, she just half-ran, half-tripped to the door and locked it behind her before stumbling back to Tiffany. Just as she was about to find Tiffany’s lips again — Taeyeon stopped short.

“…Tiffany? A-Are you okay? I’m sorry, did I—”

She watched, helplessly, dismayed, as Tiffany wiped roughly at the tears that were rolling down her face. “I’m fine,” said Tiffany shakily, tugging at Taeyeon’s shirt. Taeyeon sat down as gently as she could on Tiffany’s lap. “Just…just give me a second."

“I’m sorry,” said Taeyeon softly, Tiffany’s hair, feeling the smoothness under her fingers. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?"

“No, it’s not your fault. I just—” 

Taeyeon caught hold of Tiffany just in time, as Tiffany suddenly buried her face into Taeyeon’s shoulder. “Tiffany,” she murmured, “Tiffany, what’s wrong? Is—is this too fast? I’m sorry, we don’t—”

A strong grip on her arm prevented her from getting up. “Don’t go."

“But—”

“I’m okay. I’m okay.” Tiffany lifted her head and Taeyeon reached up to hold Tiffany's face gently as Tiffany leaned in to place a tender kiss on her lips. As she pulled away, Tiffany breathed, with a teary smile, “I’m okay."

Taeyeon brushed carefully at Tiffany’s cheek. “What’s wrong?"

“I—” Tiffany took a deep breath. “It’s just— I, I thought you were going to leave me, and I was so scared, and—” Her voice jammed up and Taeyeon felt Tiffany’s hands close into fists on her shirt. The way Tiffany was trembling: it hurt, badly, in some deep, primal part of Taeyeon’s heart. 

“I’m so sorry.” Taeyeon searched Tiffany’s eyes through the sheen of tears in her own. “I'm so sorry I made you think that. I’m sorry I ever— that I ever considered that. I’m so sorry!"

“Shh. It’s okay."

“I won’t leave you,” said Taeyeon, as Tiffany her damp cheek slowly. “I won’t."

“Okay. I believe you."

“I won’t."

“I won’t, either."

Even in the dim light of their room, Tiffany was a mess; her hair was all over the place, her eyes red, her clothes crumpled and damp in some places with tears. But when she smiled, when Tiffany really smiled, Taeyeon realized there really wasn’t anything as beautiful as total forgiveness.

As Tiffany closed the gap between them again, this time — Taeyeon held nothing back.