On Sundays We Protect Nayoung

Minkyung’s first thought is “Oh God, Nayoung.”

She scrambles to grab her coat and a face mask, throws on a pair of not-embarrassing jeans and is down the block before her phone buzzes with the notification.

No, no, no.

She stops right outside the room, can hear Nayoung talking to the screen, then the sound of the chair scraping back.

The door opens and she meets Kyungwon's eyes.

What do we do?

I don't know.

They say their mechanical goodbyes to the managers and head back to the dorm. All this while, Nayoung reads from her phone. Then she puts it down as they stand outside the door.

“I'm going on a walk,” Nayoung says.

Minkyung and Kyungwon exchange glances.

“We're coming,” Kyungwon says and Nayoung's eyes flick back to her phone.

Minkyung gently takes her arm, “We're coming with you.”

Nayoung shrugs, tugs the beret off her head and wraps her coat around herself in a hug before she strides off quickly, forcing the two of them to jog a little to keep up.

Minkyung has gone on walks with Nayoung before, even when the leader has been agitated and frustrated and not a single time has she kept this pace up for so long.

So much for being old, Minkyung smiles wryly. Kyungwon nudges her in concern, jerks her head at the visible and audible puffs of air.

“Hey,” Minkyung says as she runs up to her.

She can feel Nayoung's frown in the air before she even sees it.

“I just need some time,” Nayoung says, “alone.”

The fear she had been putting off rushes up to Minkyung in that one moment, threatens to overwhelm her.

Nayoung's brows knit in worry and Kyungwon grabs onto her arm.

“I. It's ok,” Minkyung says, “It's ok to cry and show weakness in front of us. It's ok to not be strong, to not be perfect. We-we-it's OK.”

Nayoung's face twists further.

“It's us, Nayoung.”

Kyungwon nods.

“It's just us. You're not, you don't have to, you should never need to feel that you have to be someone else with us. We're-”

“But it's because it's all of you,” Nayoung says softly, “you deserve so much more than I can give you and-”

“We don't even deserve you,” Kyungwon says quietly, “We really don't, but you're here and we can't even begin to-”

“We could never think any less of you for anything like this.”

“Never.”

“There's nothing,” Minkyung says, “nothing you could do now after all you've done for all of us that could make us think any less.”

Nayoung stops.

Kyungwon walks straight into Minkyung who catches her with a sigh.

A soft, sad smile comes to Nayoung's face. The wind picks up a little, tickles her cheeks with stray strands of her hair.

“As a fan,” Nayoung says, “I loved him once. I did. I really did. I followed everything I could find and I went to things I could go to and then one day I just didn't anymore.”

Minkyung rests a hand on her shoulders.

“And I know that it's stupid to think of it like this but I just can't help but stop thinking about it and how much I wish I could have sa