Dear Chanwoo,

I honestly was in pain the whole time I tried to write to you. This may or may not be my 26th paper that I used. You will never know. I had a hard time trying to think of the things to write to you, and suddenly I accidentally saw how long Yunhyeong’s and Jinhwan’s letter was to you. I HATE THEM SO MUCH FOR MAKING ME FEEL MORE PRESSURED TO WRITE. I regret making my curiosity get to me. I guess it was my bad too lol.

Well, since it’s a letter to you whether I make a list or not, I guess this would be the perfect time to justify myself to you (and to make the letter seem longer lol). There’s an occurrence of time where now and then I keep thinking about, and my idiot self didn’t manage to talk about it directly to you until now. It’s when we were doing an interview for a magazine which name I forgot, you told them that I had a wall for you to even get close with me. You also told them that you don’t talk to me as often as you do with the others.

Of course, I won’t lie and say what you thought wasn’t true. Because I know it is. What bothers me is that I just noticed that we never talked about it. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this in the past few days but, well things happen I guess. I’m starting to think that I won’t ever get the chance to tell you this but then Donghyuk the genius gave me a chance. I gotta thank him some time in the future haha.

Well, Chanu-yah, that time when you said that there was a wall between the both of us, that was true. I couldn’t stand you or even the other two newcomers for that matter. I hated you, even. But if you noticed, it didn’t last long. Ever since we got into the same team and I saw how hard you worked, after that I cheered for you in silence. When I get to teach you some vocal lessons, I started to like you and got used to you, did you notice that, Chanwoo-yah?

But it’s a shame that after I was warming up to you, I got into an unsafe position. Yunhyeong hyung too. I… must admit, at that time I blamed you at some point. I was an emotional teenager back then, I guess. But I swear to you when everything worked out in the end earning you as the new maknae, I was happy. Both because you are the one that made it and that the six members all got in. Trust me on this, okay?

The thing is, my pride is too big for me to change the way we were. That’s one of my weak points. Sometimes I wish I could re-do time and go back to the Mix & Match days and not to be that mean to you. Heck, I wish I would’ve reacted better when you and the rest were pranking me as you pretended to be sick. Why was I that ignorant when you were coughing your lungs out? That… was a douchey move of mine. But, oh well. What has done, has been done.

( Do you remember the time I told you to not call me hyung and just be informal with me, Chanwoo? Heh, that was because I re-watched Mix & Match and felt guilty. DON’T EVER TELL THIS TO THE OTHERS. )

When you said that you talked to me the least back then, I was actually surprised. Because I know for a fact I talk to you more than Bobby hyung these days. But then again, I guess it’s because it’s from your perspective, not mine lol.

What I wanted to say is that I know that we’re not as close as you are with Yunhyeong hyung, but not all great friendships are shown like that, right? I sorta like it when we tease the hyungs together, or when we just talk to each other in the shortest amount of words. It’s