Midnight adventures

The Thunder Lads Quintet's concert had left some kind of impression on Junmyeon. He might not have become a ray of sunshine, but something had changed. Junmyeon now expressed himself more with Yixing. He said good morning, goodnight, thank you and even answered some of Yixing’s questions such as ‘how are you?’ with ‘like always but it's bearable.’ More surprisingly was the fact that Junmyeon slowly began to half-smile more. It might have been a little, yet it was enough for Yixing.

One afternoon in the beginning days of July, Yixing and Junmyeon sat on the porch with their respective phones. Junmyeon was listening to music, and Yixing was checking out The Thunder Lads new cover. It was then that Yixing saw it. He might be pushing his luck by asking, but as always it was worth trying than keep wondering forever.

“Junmyeon, Junmyeon,” he said and slowly shook Junmyeon’s right arm.

“What?” Junmyeon asked while removing his headphones.

“Look, it’s the trailer for that audiobook we read.”

“We read?”

“Yeah, you don’t use your headphones when you listen to audiobooks. So, I listened to it with you. Anyways, it seems interesting. We should go see it!” Yixing suggested happily.

“No,” Junmyeon said quickly.

“Why not? And don’t say because you’re blind. You sometimes watch TV with me at home.”

“But it is because I’m blind, Yixing. And that’s different.”

“How?”

“Going to the theater only to listen? It’s a waste of money.”

“I’ll be the one paying. You won’t waste anything.”

Junmyeon didn’t say anything, he just fidgeted with his shirt.

“I’ll watch it like you,” Yixing said, hoping it would convince Junmyeon.

“Huh?”

“I’ll keep my eyes closed during the movie.”

“For the entire what? An hour and a half?”

“Two hours, but yeah.”

“That’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not! It’ll be fun, besides, since I saw the trailer I’m already disappointed with the cast. Areum was taller and had green hair, not blue.”

Junmyeon half-smiled. “When is it?”

“We could attend the one at midnight. What do you think?

Unsure of himself, Junmyeon still said, “I guess that’s okay…”

Yixing screamed of joy inwards but outwards said, “Great! We should leave at eleven. And perhaps drink some coffee before leaving. You get sleepy quite easy, right?”

Junmyeon nodded.

Sometime later, they ate dinner, Yixing fed Trost and took him for their night walk, and when Yixing returned he helped Junmyeon get ready. Because it was only a casual visit to town, it wasn’t necessary for them to dress fancily. After drinking their coffees, they said goodbye to Trost, who was already laying on his bed.

As they walked inside the movie theater, Yixing described the scenery for him. Apparently, it hadn't changed much from when Junmyeon had been a teen. He bought them the tickets and snacks, then they went inside the auditorium were perhaps only a dozen people or so were waiting. The lights shut down, and the trailers began playing.

“I promise you, I’m keeping my eyes closed,” Yixing said.

“I believe you. But you don’t have to, you know? If I were you I would peek,” Junmyeon answered.

Yixing moved to his side and buried his face in Junmyeon’s left shoulder. He hoped Junmyeon wouldn’t freak out by their physical contact.

“What are you doing?” Junmyeon asked hastily.

“So, you’ll believe me that I can’t see. It’d be painful to glance with my eyes sideways at the screen.”

“Your neck is going to hurt.”

“Yeah, but what’s a little pain?”

He could hear Junmyeon clearing his throat. “This… This feels awfully like a date,” Junmyeon said, thinking about Yixing’s current sitting position.

“Only if you want it to be,” Yixing said smugly and smiled. Was he going too far by joking?

Fortunately, Junmyeon didn’t push him away or got bothered. “What a way of taking the definition of ‘blind date’ too literal.”

Yixing laughed. “In that case, this is the nicest blind date I’ve ever had,” he said, although he hadn’t really been on many blind or normal dates for that matter.

Yixing didn’t saw how Junmyeon’s cheeks flushed a tad. Then, Junmyeon lightly tapped Yixing’s head and said, “Don’t lie.”

Again, Yixing laughed but thought, I’m really not.

The movie began playing shortly. Listening rather than seeing sure was different, or rather difficult. Imagining the characters wasn’t hard for because they had already had a preliminary idea (but for Yixing, he had seen them already during the trailer). By paying attention to the tone in the character's voices, Yixing could somewhat figure out what they were feeling. However, picturing what was going on, just by listening, was frustrating, especially if a dramatical soundtrack was playing in the background and he had no idea what was going on. There was no description in the settings when it transitioned to new scenery, which made everything to be quite confusing. Although Yixing was happy Junmyeon accepted to go out, he felt somewhat dumb. Still, it was a good thing they had read the book.

“Don’t fall asleep,” Yixing whispered to Junmyeon halfway through the movie.

“Speak for yourself, you’ve been yawning since the train scene.”

Yixing smiled. His neck had become stiff by now, but he still refused to move.

When the credits started to play Yixing could finally sit straight on his chair. Junmyeon looked normal, stoic, but not angry or bored to death. Yixing just hoped Junmyeon hadn’t regret coming, despite it had been difficult. And honestly, Yixing found it to be fun nonetheless. Maybe it was because they were together, or maybe because Junmyeon had gone out, it had been fun.

As they walked outside from the theater to the car, Yixing got an idea. Junmyeon was reluctant to go out due to people’s mumbles and whispers, but right now nobody would be watching them. It was a little over two o’clock, and most of the town was sound asleep.

“Hey, Junmyeon… Would you like to take a stroll around town? There’s almost no one around. Or are you tired?”

“No, I’m not too tired. But you’ll be bored. What is there to do at this hour?” Junmyeon asked, “It’s more fun when you can go to the stores, food places and all that.”

“I won’t be! And I don’t mind. Let’s find out if there is something to do anyway!” Yixing replied chirpily.

Junmyeon half-smiled. “Guide us then,” he said.  

Yixing hadn’t walked around the town much; he often came just to buy groceries. It was now as he walked with Junmyeon that he realized how small it was. But despite its size, this little town was packed with everything necessary. Shops and service centers, restaurants and cafes, bowling alleys and bars, gyms and parks. They could probably find everything they needed at a walking distance. Yixing would say which place they were passing by, and sometimes Junmyeon would answer that he had been there before; that he knew the owners or that he had never heard of it before, an anecdote from those places. The walk was recomforting, walking together in the middle of the night, where quietness reigned save for their voices, and stars followed them shining brightly.

By the time an hour had passed, they had arrived at a park. Yixing had been surprised because Junmyeon hadn’t requested to go home even though he heard him yawning a bit. Yixing suggested for them to have a break before they made their way back to the car.

“Why do I feel we're walking on sand?” Junmyeon asked.

“You’ll see.”

Yixing led Junmyeon to stand in front of a swing. “Ok, turn around. Now sit down, I’m holding the swing for you.”

Junmyeon sighed. “Really? You want to swing me?”

“It’ll be fun.”

“I’m starting to think everything you do is fun,” Junmyeon said but proceeded to sit down anyways, holding the chains.

Yixing smiled tenderly. He carefully began pushing Junmyeon, standing nearby in case something happened.

“I hope you had a nice time,” Yixing said, “Because I sure did.”

Junmyeon gave that attempt of a smile again. “It was.”

“Do you think you can do it again? Like tomorrow? When I come to buy our groceries.”

“No… It’s… Not yet.”

Yixing was slightly disappointed, but soon the feeling dissipated. Junmyeon had come a long way tonight by accepting watching the movie and even walking around. Maybe another day Junmyeon would be ready to return, and Yixing hoped he would be there to accompany him.

“Of course, it’s fine! Whenever you’re ready,” he reassured.

“Will you ever give up?” Junmyeon asked, lowering his head.

“What?”

“Trying to help me. Will you one day wake up and just ignore it all? Realize it’s just a futile case. I always wonder that.”

“I won’t.” But my days are counted, I have to go back eventually, Yixing thought.

“Why do you do this? Try to help others and work as a caregiver. I mean you’re studying psychology. How does that correlate?”

Should he tell Junmyeon the entire reason? He trusted Junmyeon but feared his reaction. Perhaps he shouldn’t say it. Last time it happened he had been called a liar, a mess and a fraud only to get left by the person who loved him. Only a few people like Han and his parents, like Yifan and Tao, had accepted him with his past and scars. No, he wouldn’t say anything about it. However, there were a few things he could tell Junmyeon.

“When I was sixteen I asked my grandfather for a summer job. He owns the company your mother contacted. First, I got to follow different caregivers and help them take care of people. They taught me what to do. I found it nice to be there for someone when they thought they were all alone in this world, or when they felt hopeless, lost and afraid… I know how recomforting it fees to have someone there for you. But not all of them were like that, some were so happy, full of life that I admired their determination to continue doing the best of the situation, despite all their difficulties. I returned next summer and so on. Eventually, I was ready to do it alone. I guess that’s how I learned to be a caregiver, but only as a substitute during the summer.”

“Why aren’t you working with it full time instead?”

“For as much as I enjoy it, I also saw on the caregivers what a physical endurance it takes to be one, sometimes even psychological. I guess I know one day I’ll grow old and I’ll be too tired and cranky to be useful. I figured I could do this while I was young and energetic,” Yixing said and continued pushing the swing lightly.

“Why psychology?”

“To continue helping people.” And also to understand better, he thought. “But enough about me, what were you studying?” Yixing asked, despite knowing the answer already.

“Accounting,” Junmyeon replied. “My last year was supposed to start this term… What a waste.”

“You can go back if you want. There are a lot of methods now to both help you finish your studies, and work as an accountant.”

Junmyeon sighed but didn’t say anything.

Suddenly, Yixing stopped the swing and went to stand in front of Junmyeon. “I think I’m in the mood for a dance,” he said as he grabbed and searched something on his phone.

“At three o’clock in the morning?”

“Yeah, it’ll be-”

“Fun.”

“Exactly,” Yixing said and smiled. “There is a large space in front of the swings, in case you want to join me. No obstacles on the way,”

Junmyeon held the chains tighter. Yixing played the song he had found. It was a rhythmic and lively melody. Soon a woman’s and man’s voice sang:

♪ Downtown we let it go

Sunset high and our bodies low

Blood rush in the hazy glow

My hands, your bones…♪

Yixing started dancing. Junmyeon couldn’t see it, but he felt and heard Yixing’s feet stepping on the sand and tossing it around, and his voice singing along.

♫…Move your feet and feel it in the space between

You gotta give yourself a moment, let your body be

We gotta lose it

We gotta lose it…♫

“Come on, don’t you wanna dance as well? Can’t you feel the rhythm?” Yixing asked. Even though he wasn’t much into going out clubbing and such, he did enjoy an occasional dance.

♬…Lose it

Lose it

Lose it

We gotta lose it…♬

Junmyeon kept gripping the chains as if afraid to fall down if he let go. “I can’t dance,” he said.

“It doesn’t matter. I can close my eyes if you don’t want me to see you.”

♪…Wide-eyed, you look at me

Set on fire in a silver dream

Spin round you can feel the breeze

Count one, two, three…

Perhaps it had been Jongdae’s words, or as Yixing had phrased it ‘the rhythm,’ but Junmyeon found himself slowly standing up.

Yixing saw as Junmyeon stood there unsure of what to do next. He smiled. “Just let it go,” he encouraged.

♫…Make a spark, break the dark

Find a light with me

Who we are from the start

Won't you dance with me? ♫

Junmyeon began bobbing his head, raising his left feet in the sand, following the song’s rhythm.

♪ Make a spark, break the dark

Find a light with me

Who we are chasing stars

Won't you dance with me?

Won't you dance with me?... ♪

And then Junmyeon finally joined Yixing on the impromptu dance floor. It didn’t matter to him if his arm movements were erratic, if his feet tossed the sand around, if he sometimes stumbled, or if Yixing was seeing him make a fool of himself, nothing mattered. He was letting everything go. Yixing accompanied him gladly, smiling broadly and singing along.

♫…We gotta lose it

We gotta lose it

Lose it

Lose it

Lose it…♫

As the song drew to an end, Yixing had stopped paying attention to the music and was captivated by Junmyeon’s wonderful laugh. He saw how Junmyeon’s cheek glowed so beautifully as he had a wide teeth smile.

“What’s so funny?” Yixing asked.

Junmyeon kept chuckling, “This is so dumb! I have never danced before, so I must look like a fool,” he said but didn’t stop moving.

“Oh no, don’t worry! I don’t know how to dance either. My friends say I shouldn’t try because I’m embarrassing. But who cares?” Yixing said and laughed with Junmyeon.

♬…Move your feet and feel it in the space between

You gotta give yourself a moment, let your body be

We gotta lose it

We gotta lose it ♬

When the song ended, shifting to another song, Yixing and Junmyeon laid down on the sand beside each other. Their laugh subsided slowly, and they were breathing rapidly. The back of their hands was slightly brushing one another.

“Yixing, tonight was fun,” Junmyeon said, now fully smiling.

And Yixing just looked at Junmyeon reciprocating the same joy.