The start

Life moved on as usual for Junmyeon and Yixing after their talk. Junmyeon did his typical routine while Yixing stayed in the background aiding him. That didn’t mean Yixing wasn’t thinking about how to help Junmyeon. On the contrary, thanks to his experience working as a caregiver, Yixing had come up with many useful things. He hoped it would make Junmyeon find a new perspective. However, he needed Junmyeon’s cooperation and interest, which was probably the toughest part. Despite the odds, he implemented the plan anyway.

One morning Junmyeon took a seat at the dinner table to eat breakfast. He waited for Yixing to pour the boiling tea water.

“Mr. Kim, I’m placing the teapot to your right.”

Junmyeon sighed. “Now what? Do you want me to overspill and burn myself?”

“No! The mug is unique,” Yixing said. “It has three water sensors for three different levels. A speaker on the bottom emits a bell sound once the liquid reaches a certain threshold. Try it! And I’m here in case something happens,” he encouraged. Junmyeon had been angry about the fact he couldn’t pour his own water, blaming his blindness for making him idle. Maybe if he managed to do this simple task, then it would be a step for him to realize he wasn’t useless. Yixing waited expectantly for Junmyeon’s reaction.

Junmyeon was stoic. He didn’t move nor said anything. Junmyeon suspected Yixing was doing this due to their conversation the other day. It was beyond his reason why Yixing was so eager to help him. “Why did you get me this?” he asked.

“It’s practical… Please, just try it,” Yixing subtly pleaded.

Again, Junmyeon sighed. He was just going to pour warm water into a cup. Even if he managed to do it by himself from now on, it wouldn’t change the fact he was blind. It felt futile, but Junmyeon knew that Yixing was persistent. Yixing would probably ask him to try another time. ‘I better get this over with now,’ Junmyeon thought.

Just when Yixing supposed Junmyeon hadn’t liked the idea and reached to grab the teapot, Junmyeon’s hand moved to grip the handle. Yixing smiled. “The cup is right next to the teapot,” he said.

Surely the task wasn’t difficult, but it was frightening. Junmyeon clutched the handle tighter. A fearful thought appeared. The cup might not work and then boiling water would spill and burn him, however, Yixing had said he would help him. Even if Junmyeon wasn’t fond of Yixing, he believed Yixing didn’t plan on harming him. He took in a breath and lifted the teapot.

“Move your hand a bit to your right,” Yixing instructed, and Junmyeon obeyed. “Okay, there! Now tilt it carefully.”

Junmyeon did as told. He could hear the water pouring down in the mug. A chiming sound resonated from the cup.

“That was the first level, you have just filled a third of the cup. You can keep pouring until your desired amount,” Yixing said.

Junmyeon continued pouring until he reached the last chiming sound. He placed the teapot back on the table.

Just like that, the task was over. Yixing beamed and felt a glimmer of hope that Junmyeon would do everything else he had thought of. And Junmyeon kept gripping the handle, thinking about how he had just done of the actions, he assumed he could never do by himself again, as simple as it was.

“The teabags are to your right, and the sugar is in the center,” Yixing said. And so, they continued eating breakfast in silence.

Yixing gradually introduced to Junmyeon small artifacts like the Bell Mug. They were convenient and gave a blind person a bit of their independence back. When he gave him the See with Fingertips Plate, then Junmyeon could eat without spilling or Yixing’s instructions. It was a dish customized for the blind because of its five compartments. One of them held a soup cup that Junmyeon could pick up without feeling the heat. The other four sections had small walls on their outer parts, which made it easier for Junmyeon to scoop the food with his spoon. And since the tray underneath the plate made it rotate, Junmyeon spun the plate to determine the food’s position. The first time Junmyeon used it, he half smiled because he ate without problems. Yixing was glad to see Junmyeon’s subtle smile, and he hoped Junmyeon didn’t feel incapable of doing basic tasks anymore. However, this change also meant that Yixing didn't talk much now because he stopped giving Junmyeon instructions and Junmyeon was reluctant to speak with him. Nonetheless, Yixing continued with the rest of his strategy.

The following items Yixing brought were things like a watch with two tangible nubs that worked as a minute and hour hands. Feeling the nubs helped Junmyeon to read the time. He didn’t need to ask Yixing what time it was anymore, and he frequently wore the watch since then. The charging adaptor for the blind was also helpful. Now Junmyeon didn’t have difficulties plugging the charger into the electrical outlet.

An object that Junmyeon used with more curiosity was the talking color detector, a device that sensed color and through a speaker announced the color of almost every surface. When Yixing had told Junmyeon the color detector was practical for doing laundry, Junmyeon had teasingly asked him: ‘Is this your way getting rid of your house chores?’. It was the first time Junmyeon had said something other than complaints or hopeless remarks. And Junmyeon had used his voice with a playful tone that Yixing hoped to hear more in the future. Junmyeon tried the device immediately on his own clothes, which as usual were the white shirt and light brown khakis. Then he tried it on Yixing’s clothes, his bedsheets, his dark shades, the furniture and so on. Yixing felt relief that Junmyeon did something else in his room, rather than lying on the bed lifelessly (at least during that day).

On another occasion, Yixing gave Junmyeon an object that hopefully would keep him more distracted than just one day. “Mr. Kim, I have something for you,” he said as he stood under the door frame to Junmyeon’s room.

Junmyeon didn’t say anything. Yixing still approached the bed and placed a heavy item that sank in the bed.

“It’s a typewriter. I know you talk to a therapist, but writing down your feelings or thoughts is also an effective form of therapy,” Yixing said and explained further, “I understand there are some things you cannot tell people, even your shrink… So, I thought this could help you out. Putting our emotions into words can make our pain, anger or anxiety less intense,” he said. What Yixing had just described was partly true, writing did help people to cope with difficulties. However, he wasn’t sure if the effect would be the same if the person were blind. Still, he believed it would at least distract Junmyeon.

“Ok, but how the hell am I going to write and read what I write?”

Yixing had anticipated that response. “Well, the keyboard has a special feature. You see, if you put your fingers on a key, you feel the letter because it is in relief. Here give me your hand.”

Reluctantly, Junmyeon lifted his hand. Yixing’s hand touched his and placed it on the typewriter. With his index fingers, Junmyeon could sense and distinguished the letter K.

“About reading it, well I have this Voice Stick,” Yixing said, “You plug in your headphones and place the stick horizontally on the text. A voice reads it out loud. But the voice can be-”

“Why are you doing this?” Junmyeon interrupted Yixing and withdrew his hand from the keyboard.

“As I said, it’s a form of therapy.”

“No. Why have you done everything so far? The mug, the plate, the watch. You must be stupid to think that knowing which color the bathroom rug is would make me less miserable about being blind.”

“I don’t. But it can be helpful.”

“Well, you better stop. Doing that won’t change anything,” Junmyeon said. He laid back on the bed and moved to his side, facing away from Yixing and the typewriter.

Yixing stood up with the machine on his arms. “I’m placing this on your desk, along with some paper, in case you change your mind.”

Even if Junmyeon had requested it, Yixing wasn’t going to stop.

Slowly changing different artifacts and utensils around the house wasn’t enough. Almost three weeks had passed since Yixing’s arrival, and Junmyeon’s demeanor had not changed. He was still sad and unwilling to see past his disability even if he did minor things alone now. Junmyeon was also reluctant to go to town or leave the house for that matter. Yixing only had five weeks left until his return to university. The slow progress was excruciating, and he hoped Junmyeon could soon dare to do different things. However, seeing Junmyeon's reluctance forced Yixing to be the one who acted instead.

Consequently, Yixing went further one day and possibly behaved in a way many would call disrespectful. That morning he prepared lunch for the two and stored it in containers. He packed the boxes in his backpack along with a pair of Junmyeon’s sneakers and a blanket. Then he went to the porch. As usual, Junmyeon was sitting and listening to an audiobook.

“I think… We should go for a walk,” Yixing said hopefully.

“No,” was Junmyeon’s immediate response. Of course, Junmyeon would say that, but Yixing wasn’t giving up.

“Why not? It’s a beautiful day, and you could use a change of scenery.”

Junmyeon laughed. “Why do I need a change of scenery if I can’t see anything?”

“You can still hear and feel things. It should do the trick.”

“Look, I don’t care that I can smell the grass or listen to bird chirps. It’s all meaningless if I can’t see them,” Junmyeon argued.

“You are not giving it a chance. Don’t shut yourself when there’s this whole world outside-”

Junmyeon groaned and said, “Stop annoying me! Go back to prepare lunch or something.”

Yixing didn’t listen. Apparently, Junmyeon disliked the idea of leaving home, and his words were enough proof that Yixing shouldn’t be doing what he was about to do. Nonetheless, Yixing went for it. “I’m sorry for doing this,” he said.

Before Junmyeon could ask why Yixing apologized, he felt arms underneath his knees and upper back. “What the are you doing?!” Junmyeon asked astonished. Suddenly Yixing picked him up bridal style. “Put me down!” he protested.

But Yixing still didn’t listen, and instead, he walked towards the woods. Trost followed behind them.

Junmyeon was not content. He complained and told Yixing he would be fired if he didn’t stop. When the threats didn’t work, he began lightly hitting Yixing on the back and moving his legs furiously.

“If you keep doing that we’re both going to fall,” Yixing said. Junmyeon stopped. Yixing continued walking and holding Junmyeon for a few minutes until he was content with their location. Carefully he placed Junmyeon on the ground. He opened his backpack and took out Junmyeon’s shoes. “I’m putting your sneakers in front of your feet,” he said.

Junmyeon seemed angry. Despite wearing his shades, it was evident that his brows frowned while his lips were narrowed. He tapped the ground until he reached his shoes and put them on, then he stood up and ordered, “Take me back home. Now.”

Yixing and Trost stood a few steps in front of Junmyeon. “But we’re already here, we can just as well go for a walk.”

“What part of ‘take me home’ didn’t you understand?”

“It’s just walking, what are you afraid of? I’ll be with you all the time…” Yixing said. What Yixing was doing wasn’t right, he knew it. He was breaking codes from his job and Junmyeon’s mother’s request. However, he had an idea as to what this trip would lead to and he wanted to risk everything, even if it meant getting fired. “Or you can go home without me if you want.”

Junmyeon sighed in frustration. He wanted to go home, where he knew exactly how to walk and what to look out for. This terrain was unknown and different. His feet didn’t dare to move, afraid that his next step would make him fall, or crash into a tree or something else. He was frightened of being away from the comforting familiarity the house gave him. He cursed Yixing for disrupting his peace. In the end, Junmyeon sat down and waited. Yixing wouldn’t get his way. “I’m not moving until we go,” he said. At some point, Yixing had to give up and take him home.

Yixing saw Junmyeon sitting on the ground, and sat down as well, next to Trost. Only one of the two was stubbornly enough to wait forever.

Time passed and Junmyeon felt on his watch that it had been almost one hour since they sat there. Yixing was just as tenacious as he was. Junmyeon sighed. This whole time he thought of how to go back on his own, but his fear wouldn’t let him, it mocked him and made him realize the only way out was to depend on Yixing. Junmyeon couldn’t even understand Yixing’s intentions to this whole nonsense. Despite it hurt his pride, and the fact he hated being guided by someone else, he compelled. His necessity to return was greater than a pointless walk with the other. The faster they got through with it, the sooner he would be back in the house. Junmyeon stood up and asked, “Where are you?”

Yixing, who had his head on his knees, looked up. Junmyeon was standing with outstretched hands. It gave him hope that Junmyeon wasn’t nagging about going home. He strode closer. “I’m right here, in front of you…what is it?”

“Let’s go for that stupid hike.”

A wide grin formed on Yixing’s lips. He moved to Junmyeon’s left side and said, “I’m standing to your left and holding my arm to you.”

Junmyeon grabbed Yixing’s arm.

“Okay… Let’s go,” Yixing said.

Walking with Yixing was entirely different for Junmyeon. One of the main reasons he was unwilling to walk with a guide was because they directed him uncarefully or too harshly. He didn’t like it when his mother dragged him, neither when his father let him be the one in charge (as if Junmyeon could see) and only told him which way to go. No, Yixing was walking with Junmyeon. They strode at the same pace and Yixing said in advance when they would be turning to the left or the right or going up or down. Yixing also warned him in detail about upcoming obstacles, and he waited for Junmyeon to take his time crossing them. Walking with Yixing was different. Oddly it gave Junmyeon a sense of safety that no other person guiding him had before.

Yixing had also been right. Earlier when Junmyeon had been sulking, he couldn’t sense the nature surrounding him. As they walked, he was surprised with the many scents he smelled, some were refreshing, pleasant and familiar. He could also hear their feet pounding on the ground, the trees moving with the wind, the birds singing. It was all... Soothing. After a while, Junmyeon heard water running. Suddenly he had an idea of where he was. “There’s a water stream near us, right?” Junmyeon asked.

“Yeah, just a few steps ahead of us.”

“I’ve been here before.”

“As a kid?”

“Hmm. When I wasn’t swimming, I used to explore these tracts a lot. If you follow the stream down, you’ll end up in the lake. Walking to the east leads to the house.”

Yixing, impressed with Junmyeon’s detailed memory, asked, “What’s on the other side of the stream?”

“If I remember correctly, a short distance away there is a small clearing with a lot of wood anemones.”

“That sounds like a pleasant place to eat.”

Once they reached the stream, Junmyeon and Yixing took off their shoes. The instant Junmyeon's feet touched the water, he reminisced many things. It was strange, nostalgic and saddening. Somehow though, having company made it tolerable.

Junmyeon had been correct, they found a clearing on the other side. Yixing took out the blanket and the food from his backpack. They sat down and began eating lunch their sandwiches and fruits, with beverages. Yixing also gave Trost some treats.

“I’m sorry for earlier,” Yixing apologized as he ate. He knew what he had done was wrong. However, he hoped Junmyeon would at least get the gist of it, that he could trust Yixing as a walking partner. One of his theories as to why Junmyeon was reluctant to go out, had been that he didn’t like being dragged by others. It was a valid reason. Not everyone was good at walking with a blind person. Their unwariness or rapid movements could always aggravate the blind one.

Junmyeon had already eaten his snack and was (unexpectedly) caressing Trost, who had come and laid his head on Junmyeon’s lap. “Well you did actually not follow my orders,” he said as he scratched Trost’s ears.

“I know it was… Inconsiderate.”

“Highly. But as far as I hate admitting this, you were right.”

“Huh?”

“About feeling and sensing I guess,” Junmyeon said. “I might not see the images, but because I have known this place for quite a long time, I could picture it with a smell, a sound or touch. Memory never dies apparently.”

Yixing smiled. “I’m glad about that, but I’m still very sorry.”

Junmyeon didn’t say anything, he kept scratching the dog’s ears. When Yixing finished his lunch and tidied up their belongings, he finally said the words Junmyeon had wished for earlier.

“Let’s go home.”

“I hope you remember the way back,” Junmyeon said as they began walking.

“Don’t worry, we have Google maps!”

Junmyeon sighed and murmured, “There is no signal here you idiot.”

Even if Yixing heard the insult, he didn’t say anything. It was justified, and Junmyeon’s voice had been teasing not hurtful.

Fortunately, they managed to get back home safe and sound, following the right path. Junmyeon hadn’t said a thing, but Yixing still needed to ask about it, in case Junmyeon had been serious. “Mr. Kim, should I start packing my stuff?” he asked nervously.

Junmyeon stopped short from walking inside his room and didn’t turn around when he said, “No. At least not for now… But if you carry me again I’m kicking your out immediately.”