Latent

“Here Junmyeon, don’t forget the helmet,” Yixing said.

“Thanks, Yixing,” Junmyeon replied as he put on the helmet.

The pair stood outside, getting ready to pedal their way to the town. It was Tuesday morning, and Yixing had to buy their provisions for the rest of the week. He had thought of driving there alone, but because it was a nice day he asked Junmyeon if he felt like bicycling with him to the store. Junmyeon had accepted gladly.

At the same time, they got on the saddles and began their journey.

Ever since that day they rode for the first time, they had used the tandem often to visit other places in the woods. By now the pair was better at maneuvering the bicycle. It also helped them that the terrain didn’t have many obstacles. As always, Yixing told Junmyeon the directions and what he saw, while Junmyeon smiled and sometimes asked questions.

The ride to the closest supermarket took them about twenty minutes. Yixing and Junmyeon got off the tandem. Yixing placed the bicycle on the bike rack and locked it. Then, he walked to stand next to Junmyeon.

“Wait, before we go in let me take out something from my backpack,” Yixing said.

Junmyeon nodded.

Yixing removed his bag and looked after the item. “Give me your right hand,” he said.

Junmyeon extended his hand and Yixing passed him an artifact. As Junmyeon touched it, he thought it felt like a remote control, but thicker with only a few buttons, a strap, and it had a small square head that stood out underneath. “What’s this?”

“It’s a barcode scanner! The ID mate galaxy. They are very helpful. You just scan the barcode of the product and then it will say what it is, when its due date, how to cook it if there are recipes available and other important info. But it can also work for other items like clothes, books, medicines and more if its available on the database.”

Junmyeon chuckled. “Is this why you always wanted me to come here with you before?”

“Yeah! But I also enjoy your company.”

A slight flush colored Junmyeon’s cheeks. “I… Like spending time with you too.”

Yixing blushed as well and smiled. “Turn it on. The on and off button is the round and smallest one.”

Junmyeon did as he was told.

“ID Mate Galaxy, ID mode,” spoke the device in a clear and loud voice, then it beeped twice.

“Huh, I thought it would be some kind of double talk with a robotic slash creepy- voice, like the Voice Stick, but this one is quite normal and comprehensible,” Junmyeon said.

Yixing laughed. “I know, that time you didn’t let me finish so I could warn you about it. Hopefully, they’ll improve it in the future. But this voice is pre-recorded. So, I’m glad you liked it, and that you’ve used the Voice Stick.”

Junmyeon smiled.

They continued walking inside the store together as Yixing explained the rest of the device’s switches and its functions. Yixing grabbed a cart, Junmyeon held his right arm, and they wandered around.

“Ready to try it?” Yixing asked.

“Yes!”

“Ok! Well, we’re standing in the baking aisle. Maybe we can bake something in the afternoon. Anyways to your left, there are different brands of cake mixes so just grab something, push the button and scan it until you find the bar code. The device will automatically beep and talk.”

Junmyeon nodded and let go of Yixing’s arm to lightly tap the boxes. He picked one from the shelves and began scanning the package. It didn’t take long until he found the bar code and heard the beep.

“Product, Chocolate food brownie mix,” said the device. It beeped again and then added, “Continue.”

“Well, the day I manage to walk on my own, shopping with this will not be as daunting as I thought,” Junmyeon said.

Again, Yixing was smiling broadly at Junmyeon. “That’s true, and I’m sure you can do it, Junmyeon.”

Junmyeon returned the smile. He thought of how wonderful it would be if the day he managed to shop on his own, Yixing would be standing outside the store so, he could praise him, hug him and... Kiss him. He blushed, looking at the floor. “Thank you. Should I put this in the cart? Or do you fancy something else?”

“It’ fine for me. You?”

“Same,” Junmyeon said and nodded. He held out the box for Yixing to take.

The rest of the time the pair continued walking around the store. Yixing let Junmyeon be the one who filled their cart with all the groceries. He only guided Junmyeon to stand in front of the shelves and told him what they needed. Eagerly, Junmyeon scanned the products until he found what they needed.

They had gotten all they needed and were on their way to the checkout counter when Yixing stopped them in the DVD section. Something caught his attention. Why hadn’t I thought of it before? he asked himself. Yixing grabbed some DVDs until he found the one he wanted. “Here, Junmyeon, scan this,” he said.

Junmyeon scanned it until he heard the beep.

The device spoke. “Movie. Interstellar.” It beeped, and added, “Continue.”

“Do you wanna watch this movie?” Junmyeon asked.

“Sure, but have you seen it?” Yixing enquired.

“No.”

“Great!”

“Why?”

“Because it’s an audio-described movie. It describes what is happening on the screen when the characters are not talking. Just like how I’ve been telling you whenever we watch something together. And well when I le-leave then you can watch movies like this unless you want your parents to help you instead.”

A piercing sensation crossed Junmyeon’s heart at the mention of Yixing leaving. He knew it was only a matter of days. The fact that he still hadn’t said anything to Yixing troubled him. But right now wasn’t the moment for that talk so instead, he said, “Yeah, this sounds really practical. I don’t think I want my parents to narrate it, they wouldn’t be as good as you. Are there other ones as well?”

“Yes! But only a few, I think they’re popular American movies. The scanner might have some of their descriptions in case you wanna hear them.”

“No, it’s alright. Pick up the ones that seem more interesting,” Junmyeon said and smiled.

Yixing smiled back.

Once Yixing had paid for everything and stored the items in their backpacks, the pair made their way back to the house.

The remainder of the day they had eaten lunch, gone walking with Trost, listened to an audiobook, Yixing prepared dinner and baked the brownies. When night had fallen, they watched the first movie Yixing had picked up at the store as they ate the brownies.

After the movie, Junmyeon suggested for them to sit near the lake and get some fresh air. Their feet dangled off the dock as they sat next to each other, shoulders almost touching. Occasionally, their feet would feel a splash of the mild water. There was no moon or stars in the night sky, only clouds. A crisp summer breeze cooled their skins.

“You’re leaving soon,” Junmyeon said, trying to hide his disappointment.

Yixing sighed. “I know. Time flies rapidly, huh? It feels like it was yesterday we met.”

Junmyeon smiled at that reminiscence. It had been almost eight weeks ago since Yixing arrived. Yixing, who he had thought of annoying at first, too optimistic for his liking, deaf when they told him not to carry someone bridal-style, and who somehow had found out personal facts about Junmyeon. But slowly Yixing had become Yixing. The Yixing who tried to vivify Junmyeon’s moody life; who took him to the outer world and showed him he had nothing fear; whose laugh was so wonderful it was a tune Junmyeon enjoyed to hear; who was so patient, enthusiastic, beautiful and kind; who had helped him realize he wasn’t useless. Yixing, who had become a sort of beacon in the dimness he had been trapped. Yixing, the man he had fallen for. Yixing, who will be leaving on Saturday.

“What’s the first thing you’ll do when you go back?” Junmyeon asked.

“Umm… Probably visit my parents. I haven’t seen them in weeks.”

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah. It’s silly but I’m gonna give them a big hug for the days I have missed them.”

“Oh… Did you miss them very much while being here?”

Yixing saw a worried expression crossed Junmyeon’s face. “I did, but I also liked being here a lot! Besides, we spoke on the phone, so it was all right really.”

A half-smile formed on Junmyeon’s lips. “You must be happy to go back to university.”

“Kinda. It will probably be stressful and hectic as usual. But I guess everything will be worth it when I graduate next year.”

“Then, are you excited to see your friends again? Or… Perhaps, someone, you know, special?” Junmyeon asked nervously.

“My friends, yes. We’re majoring in different things, but we still find time to hang out. And I don’t have anyone special… At least not in that place.”

Junmyeon’s heart skipped a beat. “This might sound weird but… Can I come to your graduation?”

Yixing beamed, a broad, dimpled smile because this secured a chance to see Junmyeon again. “Of course, you can! It would make me really happy to have you there.”

“And I would be really thrilled to be there.”

They both just smiled at each other in silence for a moment.

“You must be looking forward to seeing your parents again, Junmyeon.”

“I am. There are so many things I have to tell them… I was so cold and pretty harsh towards them before because of what had happened. I must have worried, hurt and disappointed them. I hope they forgive me. Because when they come back I just wanna embrace them both, thank them for being there with me through everything and say I love them a lot.”

“I’m sure your parents have nothing to forgive you about. They understand that you were going through major hardships and you didn’t mean to act the way you did back then. They love you, and they’ll be happy to see you feeling much better now.”

“You always seem to know what to say, don’t you?” Junmyeon asked and smiled.

“Sometimes. Other times I’m just speechless.”

“Still, what you say are often good and wise things. Maybe because of what you’re studying, but I also think it’s because it’s you. You’ll be a good therapist if that’s what you choose to do.”

“I don’t know... That might be partly true? Because then sometimes I just go with my guts and not what a therapist would do. Carrying you against your will, for example, that’s totally out of the question.”

Junmyeon chuckled. “Yeah, I agree, but it was helpful.”

“You don’t know how much I hoped it had been… I feared you would have fired me.”

“Well, something changed my mind.”

Yixing smiled. “Whatever it was, I’m thankful.”

Junmyeon smiled back. He had a question in mind and hoped Yixing would say yes. “Yixing… Can I touch your face?”

That question reminded Yixing of that conversation he had had with drunken Junmyeon, and he beamed at that memory. He wondered if Junmyeon would say the same thing. “Why?”

“I have no idea what you look like. This is one of the frustrating parts of being blind, that you will never know what the people you meet for the first-time look like. It sounds as if I'm shallow, but I can’t help being curious. Hearing a voice is just not enough, and perhaps touching isn’t either, but it might help? However, if you feel uncomfortable then don’t be afraid to decline.”

“I would never think you’re shallow, Junmyeon. It’s okay to be curious, appearances are an important part of someone’s identity, I understand. You can go ahead and touch my face,” Yixing said and moved his head towards Junmyeon’s side, then he closed his eyes.

Junmyeon moved towards Yixing too. Carefully, he raised his hands and with the lightest touches his fingers patted Yixing’s forehead. “You have bangs…and soft hair,” he said and smiled.

Yixing mirrored Junmyeon’s smile, as his heart became the fluttering mess it was around Junmyeon’s closeness.

Junmyeon continued tracing Yixing’s facial features. He touched his eyebrows, his eyelids and long eyelashes, his nose, his cheeks... “Oh! you have dimples,” Junmyeon uttered as he poked one of the orifices. “How adorable.”

Yixing chuckled and blushed a tad. Even this Junmyeon thought his dimples were adorable.

Then Junmyeon’s fingers found Yixing’s lips. “What a plump lower lip…” he whispered and removed his hands. He replaced them with his thumb, while his other fingers rested against Yixing’s chin. Junmyeon closed his eyes and felt what he could only describe as arrhythmia in his chest.

Yixing felt tingles while Junmyeon caressed his lower lip back and forth. His heart rate increased even more. And he could feel him leaning closer and closer until Junmyeon’s warm breath hit his skin. Yixing should back away, but he didn’t. No, his reason was somewhere else now, and he stayed still, waiting for what was to come.

They tilted their heads. Junmyeon retrieved his hand and waited no more to close that miniature gap.

The water danced against their feet. The wind rustled their hair. The dark sky was clouded, and two people shared a kiss underneath it.

Junmyeon finally tasted those lips he had longed after. Maybe it was because they had eaten brownies before, but he thought they were the sweetest lips he had ever kissed. He raised his hand to Yixing’s neck.

And as Yixing caressed back Junmyeon’s lips, he felt they were the smoothest and softest lips. He melted in that touch, that warm, damp touch.

They felt fluttering hearts in their chests, wild and loose butterflies in their stomachs, irregular panting breaths, lips against lips that slowly parted some more.

Junmyeon leaned closer. The tip of his tongue tentatively traced Yixing’s lower lip.

It was as if a spurt of ice-cold water splashed all over his body that awakened Yixing from the enchanting trance Junmyeon’s touch was. His eyes flew open. And he lightly pushed Junmyeon away. For as much as Yixing wished to continue, going further with this would be too problematic. A kiss was between lovers, partners, boyfriends, not two friends who liked each other but still didn’t know everything about their lives.

Startled, Junmyeon opened his eyes too and withdrew his hand. His face reflected nothing but confusion and concern. “Yixing, wha-what’s wrong?”

“Junmyeon, I can’t do this. We shouldn’t do this.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not-, I-, we can’t, you’ll-, I-, I’m...”

Junmyeon thought of what Yixing nervously tried to convey. He wished he wouldn’t be right when he asked the question. “Is it that… You don’t feel the same as me Yixing?”

“Junmyeon, I-I… There’s something...I, I’m,” Yixing stammered. ‘Yes, I do, I do, I do feel the same,’ he thought, but no words came out.

Hearing Yixing hesitating and having a hard time talking, Junmyeon assumed Yixing didn’t know how to kindly answer without hurting him. Yixing had just been kind this whole time because that was part of his true nature, and they were friends, never something else. Who would want to be with a blind man like him? Who would fall in love with someone like him? Yixing had probably kissed him out of pity. He had been wrong this whole time. All these thoughts invaded Junmyeon’s head. His eyes watered, and he didn’t want to be there in case he started shedding tears. He raised his feet from the water and stood up.

“It’s okay, Yixing. I get it, and I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I must have misunderstood everything,” Junmyeon said embarrassedly. He turned around and rapidly strode towards his room.

Yixing turned around and saw how Junmyeon walked away from him. “I’m sorry for being a coward,” he uttered to no one as a tear rolled down his cheek.