hakyeon was the first to wake up. he blinked his eyes and scrunched his nose, trying to get the sleepiness away. he squinted his eyes, trying to adjust to the darkness surrounding him. he looked at his digital wall clock, it’s 1AM. how did he get home? he wondered. he look around him. taekwoon and sanghyuk are beside him, sanghyuk’s arm around his torso. he heard snoring of wonshik and lift his head to see the everyone in the room. 

all he remembered was the rooftop and , his razor. did they find out? tears gathered at hakyeon’s eyes. I worried the others again. what a useless leader i am. he thought. he’s soft cry soon become sobs and wailing of self hate, waking taekwoon up. taekwoon sat up, worry written all over his face.

“what’s wrong, hakyeon? are you hurting anywhere?” taekwoon asked but instead of answering, hakyeon gripped the sheets tighter and cried harder. soon all of them woke up to the leader’s cry. taekwoon was taken aback, hakyeon won’t tell him what’s wrong so he could only lay back down and whisper sweet nothing into his ears. hongbin went out and reheat the porridge he made hours ago, while wonshik and jaehwan prepared his medicine. sanghyuk and taekwoon can only hold hakyeon in their arms coaxing him to tell them what’s wrong but no, hakyeon would only just cry as he clung himself onto the maknae’s chest.

“hyung, i made some porridge, eat up,” hongbin said softly as he set the food on the side table.

hakyeon just shake his head and continue crying. 

“you have to eat hyung,” sanghyuk said, with pleading eyes. hakyeon looked up, hyuk’s eyes were b with tears. he then nodded and taekwoon gladly took the bowl from the bedside table and fed him. taekwoon feed him with care, he blew the hot porridge, cooling it down making sure it won’t burn hakyeon’s tongue. sanghyuk went to the kitchen to

bring his omma’s favourite beverage, the banana milk to reward him for eating his dinner. 

at the 3rd spoon, hakyeon stopped taekwoon and said that he was full. 

“cha hak yeon, you have to finish all this. don’t lie to me saying you are full after you starved yourself for 2 days by eating some biscuits and drinking water,” taekwoon told hakyeon firmly. he place the spoon in front of his lips again but hakyeon refuse to open up.

“god damn it! stop thinking that you’re fat hyung! your chubby cheeks are adorable, you are already underweight and you think you’re fat!?” wonshik snapped and walked out of the room.

tears gathered at hakyeon’s eyes again, hongbin went beside the leader and caressed his back telling him, it’s okay, wonshik was just worried. hakyeon just nod weakly and allow hongbin to feed him all the porridge he made. after he finished, sanghyuk took out the banana milk from his hoodie pocket and hakyeon’s lips curved into an adorable smile, looking like a little boy. sanghyuk was proud that he could put a small smile on his face, even if it was just for a while. 

the person they are seeing now, is not VIXX’s leader N, but a 26 years old cha hak yeon. no mask to cover up his tiredness, no fake smile. the genuine cha hakyeon that is still a kid in his heart. the door slam opened out of the blue shocking hakyeon who was enjoying his banana milk making him choke on his milk.

“goodness gracious, can you open the door gently next time?” jaehwan scolded wonshik as he pat hakyeon’s back. poor hakyeon can’t stop coughing.

apparently, wonshik went to the convenient store near their dorm and bought tons of junk food for hakyeon. wonshik thought that hakyeon is too slim. hakyeon is beautiful, even when he became