Reality seemed so far to whenever the thought of being Kim sunggyu’s girlfriend strikes me. It still hasn’t sunk in yet.

I was sitting on my couch listening to his solo songs. Sungjong made one thing clear while I nagged him to tell me more about his hyung as much as possible like he spilled my stuff. The first thing he talked about was his solo so I got into the project of listening them all and memorizing the lyrics though it sounded silly, sungjong said it was important in a very serious tone.

I was too into my laptop I couldn’t hear my phone until I felt something buzzing beneath my right thigh. The name that appeared already got me grinning.

“Oppa?” I spoke first

“You have my number?” he sounded amused

“Of course I do, you saved it yourself” I giggled

“I-I called you know-ow for-“he stuttered

I waited while humming a snippet of his recent solo song getting my focus back to my laptop.

“YOU KNOW THAT SONG” he pitched up

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I wish I could hug you right now you know”

I felt my cheeks turn red, “You would?”

There was a silence, but I could still hear him breathing.

It continued to be a phone call I’ve never had; he made me comfortable without the slightest awkwardness.

To summarize, sunggyu was an unexpected present I’ve never got. Everything he did felt new, made me feel like a new person whenever I was with him.

Sunggyu sipped on his milkshake slowly while I sat opposite to him in the cafeteria becoming conscious whenever someone passed us. I gulped and looked very disturbed when I heard people whisper. Though none of it involved us, it still made me uncomfortable.

He finally finished his milkshake looking at me covered in cold sweat,

He leaned forward with a tissue wiping my forehead “Are you alright dayeon?” he asked me worriedly. I nodded taking the tissue from his hand looking around to see if anyone saw it.

Sunggyu immediately got up grabbing my hand and started walking though I tried wriggling out of his grip he continued without saying anything.

We finally arrived at the rooftop; he turned to face me.

“I’m sorry we can’t have a normal relationship but I want you to know how much I love you, I don’t want you to look taunted whenever people are around. If it’s the case I’ll make sure it’s only us” he looked earnestly into my eyes saying those words.

It felt so sincere, I was touched but, but there was a knot on my throat which stopped words from coming out. I leaned forward wrapping my hands around his waist with my eyes burning with something threatening to fall. He pressed my head to his chest holding me in a protective hug. 

-

Someone stood by the entrance to the rooftop watching everything that happened with a heavy heart and turned to leave.

Howon entered the practice room dropping himself on the floor lying flat; dongwoo came in “I thought you went out to get some air? That was fast”. He made his way next to the unmoving howon.

“I did, it felt suffocating either way” he replied in a flat tone.

“Come on let’s get you home, it’s going to be almost two days since you went back” dongwoo shook howon by the leg to get him moving.

“I am not coming hyung” he turned closing his eyes.

“You are stinking howon, you really need to get in a shower and have a proper meal” dongwoo argued back dragging howon to the door.

-

“Oppa this is a very bad idea, we shouldn’t be doing this” I was panicking while sunggyu pulled into the parking lot next to Han River.

“It’s late at night; it’s going to be absolutely fine, trust me” he got down trying to convince me.

It all started when I got a little high on my beers asking him to take me on a drive, but I didn’t know it would end like this. I was completely sober and cold sweating now.

Sunggyu came over to the other side opening my door, pulling me out.

“Aren’t you supposed to wear a mask at least?” I worried looking at him walking confidently to the sidewalk.

I stood frozen next to the car, acting stubborn to not go over next to him.

I shouldn’t have got into the car in the first place, this could end up in a huge disaster and he seemed so ignorant of it all, making me more fretful.

I could see him starting to get annoyed when he rushed over to the car getting each of us a mask and pulling up both our hoods.

“Happy?”

I just nodded and walked alongside with an unsettling feeling throbbing all over myself.

He remained silent but held my hand tight “Don’t run away okay? I’m scared of the dark”

I laughed holding his arm tighter “I’ll protect you, Kim Sunggyu”

He looking at me surprised since it was the first time I ever I called his name.

“You don’t like me calling that?”

“It feels different, a good one”

We walked for a long time going around in circles, when he actually confessed how much he loves me in the most genuine way possible. I was mortified for the first time ever, thinking to myself what have I done to this man. How much of a selfish person I was to have accepted his heart when I wasn’t even sure myself.

That night when he dropped me home, he held my hand and kissed it “I miss you already”.

I his cheek with my fingers before I left giving him a hug.

I stayed awake the whole night thinking about everything sunggyu said a million times.

The sound of my phone snapped me back, it was already morning I didn’t sleep a blink.

“Oppa?”

“I’ll be there in thirty minutes, get ready soon. I know it’s early but I won’t get the car later” he spoke in a hurry.

“What? Why are you coming here?”

“What am I going to do with you” he sighed

“Didn’t you promise to spend the weekend with me, get yourself together I’ll come soon” he hung up.

A foggy memory crossed my mind striking me of the conversation of how I agreed to this. It was the time when we were coming back from Han River he said all the guys were going home for a small break, he was going to stay back I forgot why. I was too engrossed in what he said earlier I nodded to everything he said without actually hearing it all.

The car ride was surprisingly silent; I took a few glances to see him looking nothing but the road.

“Are you angry?” I spoke softly

He hmm-ed a no and continued driving. He looked like he entered his cave to think, I let him be. While I dozed off from the fatigue.

I felt something really soft while turning, opening my eyes slowly thinking why a car seat would be so soft. I realized I was on a couch with a blanket over me, my shoes were gone. I panicked a little.

 My breath calmed after seeing pictures of sunggyu and dongwoo on the wall in front of me.

A sudden sound from the right got me on my feet; I rushed into the space to the right being the kitchen to see sunggyu juggling an oven tray which he dropped startled by the sight of me along with whatever was on it scattering all over the floor.

He let out a loud exasperated sigh.

“Are you alright?” I rushed to him pulling him away from the hot mess on the floor.

“What are you doing?” I grabbed the oven gloves from him gathering the burnt vegetables from the floor on to the tray.

“I was trying to make