“I need more emotion” said the producer from outside the recording studio through the mic. It’s been already five hours I’ve been here, never had I taken so much time to record a song I’ve sung a million times. It was getting frustrating. After a few more tries the producer turned down the music asking me to come out.

He sat me down saying “I don’t know what’s gotten into you today, but remember you need to put your soul in every line that comes out of your mouth be it a rap or song, anywhere you sing  the emotions need to be there”. I deep sighed; it’s been a long time since I’ve ever heard such a thing it felt offensive at the same time dejecting. “Try thinking of someone who has made you feel indifferent, bring out your thoughts towards them” he tried to cheer up the lost me. I nodded going back in putting on the headphone, I told them to give me a minute before starting.

I closed my eyes; my only reason for all this nervousness was her. She made me feel like a whole new person whenever she comes to my mind. What has she done to me? her presence is all I crave for at this moment, the smile on her blossom soft lips I would love to kiss, the tint on her cheeks when she laughs, her midnight black hair that fell on her shoulders like a waterfall, most of all her scent which was so addictive like a drug.

The music started, words fell through my voice. All through I only visioned her. I opened my eyes slowly when the song faded away only to see the producer stand there applauding of how this was the most beautiful version of the song I’ve ever sang. I put down my headphones and headed as fast as possible to look at her. Just a glance from afar would do me good at any time of the day.

-

“213….214….215…216” finally I found sungjong’s apartment after a lot of struggle starting from the security who thought I was a crazy fan until I made him talk to sungjong himself. Before ringing the bell I took out my phone to see if I looked alright along with a little more lip gloss, I stopped before applying “Why am I doing this?” “He won’t be there, will he?” I sighed squatting with my head in my hands. I continued mumbling when the door suddenly opened making me fall back with a screech. Howon was equally surprised and let out a yelp, he came running to help me stand up. His touch on my arm was so warm I was still enjoying the warmth when I didn’t hear him saying,

“What are you doing here?”

I stuttered “I came to ta-take the box su-sungjong parents sent to me”

“Oh, come on in first” he laughed out a little seeing me stutter.

I slapped myself pulling down my cheeks from smiling more like a retard and followed him.

“Isn’t sungjong there?”

“Well, he was I don’t know where he is now” he opened a room probably sungjong’s to see if he was there.

He made me sit down on a small corner on something that resembled a couch; it was littered with heaps of clothes and all possible trash on this planet. He pushed it all with his hands making a small place for himself next to me.

“Sungjong should be here soon, I can’t seem to find the box, would you like something to eat or drink till then?” he looked so hesitant to even say those words making his ears go tomato red, he looked like he was seeing a woman for the first time in his life. To save him from more embarrassment, I requested for some water. He almost ran inside the kitchen. It was so adorable to see him getting shy; I put a note to myself to try it more next time.

Though we resumed back to normal between us, forgetting everything and start afresh. He often gets embarrassed to ask me a few things and it turns into awkward encounters like these.

He finally came back after a while with a bottle of water, probably trying to wash away his reddened ears. We sat in silence with only the sound of me gulping water; he tried to pick a few clothes and went back in again. We tried reducing the awkwardness by talking but it didn’t help much, so he decided to turn on the television. We were in the middle of laughing so hard watching a gag show when sungjong came in.

“I’m so sorry, gyu hyung called me urgently upstairs for something” he ran inside to get the box for me

“What on earth did my mom send you, it’s so damn heavy” he let out deep breaths from carrying out of his room

Both of us squatted next to it to open it while howon ran to his room saying something I couldn’t hear properly. Sungjong exclaimed when he saw the amount of traditional Korean medicine stocked in different containers inside. I let out a yell in surprise of the contents too.

“Did you by any chance tell her you suffered any fatigue?” he questioned holding a bottle with a weird liquid

I nodded “She kept forcing out details of my job in our company and my health, she just wouldn’t believe if I said I was okay, you know that too so I had to tell her something”

He agreed without thinking, I continued “I couldn’t think of anything else plus I also made it very clear it was very minor”

“Oh well, that’s why she sent you just one box, I was sleep talking when she called me that she sent ten boxes, the delivery guy scowled so hard for carrying them all upstairs”

We sat there talking about how we missed his mother and her top notch nags.

It was time for me to leave; sungjong told me beforehand he wouldn’t help me with it downstairs whatsoever. I scowled and was about to leave when howon came back all dressed up and smelled really nice. I told him I was going home when he stopped me asking if I was really going to carry the box alone, I nodded putting on my shoes.

“Seriously sungjong, you are going to let her carry it?”

Sungjong rolled his eyes “Well if you want to play gentleman, why don’t you carry it for her?” he pointed to the box.

Howon pushed him inside taking the box from me even after I protested I will take it myself. We walked downstairs while scolding sungjong together. After getting down from the elevator he walked up till the end of the hallway after which I got a little stubborn to carry it from there.

After saying our final goodbyes just before I turned to leave I said “You smell nice”,I swear I saw him blush before he got into the elevator, though a little disappointed I couldn’t be with him a little longer I went back home exceptionally happy humming all the way.

Days went by and howon kept appearing at my desk after he was finished with his work or practice, we would spend hours talking. It would either be the rooftop or the cafeteria. Sometimes sungjong would join but mostly it would just be us, the clumsiness between us slowly faded. We really enjoyed each other’s company, also shared a lot of things in common of not being a social butterfly t