T A E H Y U N G

 

Surprisingly, I was still sober. Compared to hyungs, Jimin, and I were the ones who were still conscious about the surroundings. Perhaps, it was because the only thing we did was to laugh or to tell some funny stories from the past which, as you all know, we were doing every time we hang out.
Hoseok hyung wasn't that extremely drunk, but he was almost at it. Seokjin hyung, on the other hand, was trying his best not to trip from something because of his drunkenness. Jimin, and Hoseok hyung accompanied Seokjin hyung and went to cafeteria to take, maybe a late night snack for them to wake themselves a bit. Hoseok told me to go inside the dorm first, so I took the elevator.

The weather today was extremely cold that we have to wear thick layers of coats just to give ourselves warmth from inside. Negative 1 degree is enough to make things freeze and to make plants wilt. I'm glad our rooms give warmth for it has electric heaters.

 

It was just seconds til the elevator opened once more. I stormed out as I should, and walked straight to the dorm, until I heard something coming inside Chaewon's dorm. Our room was located in between manager's room, and Chaewon's room. That being said, I have no other way to get inside without passing her dorm, so of course whatever I do, every loud sound coming from inside would be audible enough for someone who would walk pass this hallway.

 

The sound was dull, and mystifying. Enough to make my curiosity to go wild.

 

 

It was unusual for me to hear strange sounds coming from managers' and Chaewon's dorm. Managers are either resting during their free time, or managing our schedules, while as for Chaewon, – Well, I can say her room is the most quiet one. I never heard her sneezing loudly, banging something because of laughing or what. So this time, hearing some tapping and clapping sounds, – I bet she was watching movies or--

No? It wasn't coming through speakers, really.

 

I stood still and stiff, shivering because of cold. I do believe in ghosts, and I also believe they were residing here somewhere, but the thing is, it might be inside her room. There were no other people around me, and that made me extra nervous about this. Breathing intensified as I move an inch, but I need to face this calmly.

Gradually, my feet moved on its own. Even my body wanted to hear the sound more. Slowly, I positioned my face sideways in front of the door to hear it more, and just moments after, I heard a shattering sound of glass. It was loud enough to think that it fell from the top of a dusty cabinet. The shattering sound were not just far. I gasped loudly in terror. Something was going on inside. I was afraid it was Chaewon, but I would be more afraid if it was some burglar or stalker sneaking inside.

 

 

 

BUT WHAT'S WITH THE CLAPS THOUGH?

 

Never mind. Even though guards were always on their duty, if an intelligent and sneaky stalker went in, there would be no other way they would know. Maybe Chaewon was asleep while watching a movie and that these sneaky bastards barged in from the window? What if Chaewon was knocked out?!

Someone was whispering me to kick the door and save her inside, but my legs couldn't move. I couldn't even speak as well; even if I scream for help. Hauled my phone inside my pocket, I searched for Chaewon's phone number and called it. I received silence. It was turned off. I was over thinking on what should I do. Should I call Jimin and Hoseok? No, it would be a chaos especially Hoseok was partly drunk.

 

I waited for a moment, calming myself, until I heard a crying sound.

 

 

This was the time I confirmed that it wasn't just a normal thievery. Something was really happening inside and it was very alarming. A girl was , probably Chaewon, moments after a some sort of glass shattered. That moan wasn't horrifying and slow, but wasn't too fast neither. I tried to think of many options to do, but the only thing that was repeating on my head was to kick the door forcefully, and save her fast.

 

 

 

 

 

“Ah , Jungkook, I'm ~”

 

 

 

 

–- My kick was halted; left foot frozen in mid air. As if I were now a statue of liberty holding a torch, preparing to whip some dance moves. What did I just hear? Come?
“Why the will she come out at this late for Jungkook? It's Chaewon, isn't it??” I whispered trying to figure out things. “Where the hell will she go? Come? Come where? Why the heck she cussed while saying his name? Is it some sort of code or-

or.

 

 

The ?”

 

 

I hurriedly positioned myself once more to hear a single hint of what I was thinking. It mustn't be--

 

Look, last night, when we were taking a break for practice, I opened my twitter account and stalk some fans. I softly choked when I read the fan saying: 'Stop babying idols in their 20s! Stop calling them baby or cute, they probably last night.'
I kept on laughing, JIMIN TOO! But as Jungkook went near and read the tweet, he was frozen startled about it. Forcefully, Jungkook tried his best to smile, but then again, it was obvious that he was disturbed. Even Jimin pointed out that of course he could be flustered.

“Taehyung, he has Chaewon. There's no way he can't feel lust over her. Chaewon is pretty, and her legs-- I mean, Jungkook once said that her ideal type are those who have nice and pretty legs, which, obviously, Chaewon has. So, of course, showing him tweets like these might have 'triggered' his lustful side who knows? Maybe, in the first place they-”

 

had ?

 

 

It was just a seconds after going back to what Jimin said, I heard a soft panting voice which, I know, was coming from a guy. Further I pushed my head towards the door harder as I could. And I could slowly feel my reward for curiosity was bearing when I heard both of their sounds clearer.

“Stop acting like a dog.” The guy chuckled. It couldn't be Jungkook. He was innocent. BUT WHO? Chaewon wasn't the type to cheat?! “If you want me, tell me, we can do this tomorrow.”

TOMORROW?!

 

Just a second,

I heard Chaewon mentioning Jungkook, so it might be! Yes, no need to act like a fool, Taehyung. It really is Jungkook, and Chaewon, making-- some-- clapping-- and .

Nothing is wrong about it though, but to hear it live was darn cringing and disgusting- in my case. As a guy, I've read s- those ARMYs had posted, and of course I've watched few ography; It's a guy thing. I can say that reading s is better than watching the real one, because you could feel the emotions they want to convey. It's like, by means of , they're trying to communicate, but---

listening to this.

 

It was like audio streaming a . And knowing that both of my close friends were doing this ty little event, makes me want to quit life. I wanted to laugh so hard that others could hear, but I don't want to disturb them, so off to go inside the dorm-

I sighed and turned back. Jungkook is already an adult now. Back those days when he was laughing with Hyemi, bringing her flowers, being too soft-- it's all inside my memory now. I should change the way I play with him. He's not a child anymore. I somewhat feel old.

 

I was about to step my feet once more when a voice stopped me:

 

“The , hyung?”

 

Someone from behind me appeared. Behind me was the door, and that 'someone' was a guy too, so, it was... definitely

 

 

 

Jungkook.

 

Slowly and frozen, I turned around to see him half . Still sweaty from the bed of roses huh? His hair were still messy, and his chest obviously has red scratches, and his neck has kiss marks. ing glad it was not where ARMYs would see or else we were going to be doomed by media. Although those scratches and marks weren't bleeding, those were still obvious even if you're looking it from far. “Are you ing listening? Hyung?” he whispered, but almost a scream.

“T-to what?” I let out a stuttering laugh pretending of course, I knew nothing. It was so awkward, but it got more uncomfortable as Jungkook moved closely in front of me. As he moved closer, I moved farther. Magnets that have been placed in the wrong side.

My back bumped on the walls, and that made me jump for I thought it was another member who caught me to spill out things. With his arms, he imprisoned me in between. I closed my eyes in fear that he might punch me, but I felt his breathing went beside my ear. “What you hear, leave it here.” It was his melting voice that fans have been screaming to. “Or else...” he said, I gulped.

“W-Why you're disrespecting me? I'm your hyung!” I want to raise my chin up, but his head was beside me resting already, and I couldn't move that freely anymore. “I-I could say what I want, no need to hide, we're family here-”

 

In a sudden, I felt a piercing pain beside my neck, just near my shoulders to where his head was resting. He. bit. it.

“DUDE WHAT THE , STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” I felt my phone vibrated inside my pocket and it might be because of notification, but I don't really care because that made me more frozen. My neck was now-- wet because of his spit. “Imagine what would the members say if they saw you have this. Don't tell others, and I won't do it for the second time” And now he's blackmailing me as if I'm a child who would be foolish like--?? Jeon Jungkook, you're threatening the wrong guy.

His face neared for the second time, but I went to grab my phone inside my pocket to see who sent a message. “I can't promise, Mr. Jeon Jungkook.” I said as I opened my phone, but the message turned out to be a notified tweet from Chaewon, saying:

 

'VKOOK IS HAPPENING Y'ALL.'

 

MOTHER FUCJ IS SHE WATCHING?!

 

Jungkook faced me closer, and as I stared back into his alluring eyes, he went nearer. I don't know what he was thinking, but I already knew I was in danger. “What the -” I didn't finish the cuss, for I felt his damp soft lips touched mine.

 

 

I took a deep breath, barely breathing as I tried to push him, but he is damn strong so his lips stayed on mine for ing seconds and that was long!

“WHY?!” I yelled after he pecked. “WHY THE FHCK!? MY FIRST KISS WAS-”

“Promise me you won't say that Chaewon and I made that and you won't be feeling my lips on top of yours anymo-”

“OKAY! OKAY!” I yelled trying to erase everything inside my head, including Jungkook's kiss, Jungkook bite, Jungkook and Chaewon's , BUT I CAN'T DELETE! I closed my eyes still, feeling the cold wind brushing my skin, trying to avoid stress,

 

until another voice came, it was high pitched and I know who it was, right away.

 

 

 

 

“What the are you doing, both of you?”

 

It was Jimin, watching both of us. I tried to scan my head for an alibi, but I couldn't find anything, so I just stared at him, mind obviously blank. Snapped out of stress, my phone vibrated once more, as I shift my glance at the tiny hole in the door to where Chaewon might be peeking. I turned my phone on, and indeed, it was her who tweeted:

'JIKOOK HAPPENED. VMIN HAPPENED. VKOOK HAPPENED. A LOVE TRIANGLE HAPPENED.'

 

That was the time, BTS_twt's notification was blowing up with “what's happening”. I guess, Chaewon updating the fans about the ships won't do ing good to me. I would die sooner because of her...

 

and Jungkook.

 

And speaking of it, I just remembered I have something to say to her. No, not the thing. It wasn't about her relationship with Jungkook. It's bit.. personal.

 

 

 

C H A E W O N

 

I can't believe it. I just saw Jungkook kissed Taehyung. I should be jealous but I was jumping here at the sofa right now. You do know that I wasn't completely asleep, and I was just pretending. Why? Because I do want to check who gasped after the glass fell, but it turned out to be Taehyung eavesdropping about what we did. I couldn't believe Jungkook and I were thinking of finding the spy who caught us doing it.

Shivering and smiling, I stopped jumping right after Jungkook went inside the room. “Why are you still awake?” He asked.
“I'm just, waiting, for everyone of you to calm down.”

“I told Jimin hyung that Taehyung lost my favorite shirt and that I was bit mad, and Jimin was convinced with that. Taehyung on the other side, well. That's the only thing I can do, you see.” The only thing to do was to kiss him to shut up? No way.

 

 

 

“Jungkook, perhaps.,

 

 

 

 

Are you gay?” I was just confirming.

 

“What!?” He yelled and that was cute. I found it cute. He could yell at me all night long without me getting disturbed. “What the hell!? I've kissed the members many times, and it's not that big deal. You can just expect me to cringe but it doesn't matter that much, what are you saying?”

“Yea, but there's nothing wrong being gay, so come on, just tell me.”

“Then you wouldn't see me ing you, if I'm gay.”

“I get your point, but some other gays, girls as well, and that's exactly what I'm trying to imply, right.” I smiled mischievously at him. “I mean, what do you feel when you kissed him? Is it disgusting or is it fluttering? Tell me!”

“Why do girls have the right to kiss same girls without getting bashed, and when guys kiss the same , everybody is either complaining or making it a big deal? Taehyung understood that I kissed him only to shut up, because you see, if I used my palm to shut him up, he might spit on it, and it was disgusting, so I didn't. Next, I was only blackmailing nonsense for him to forget everything he heard. He knew that what I did was to threaten him. That's all.”

“Psh, I'm just asking if is it fluttering or disgusting and you've explained the whole story to me. I don't get it.” but it wasn't like that, I could feel. Based on what I saw on Taehyung's reactions, he was flustered, and-- I mean, that was my reaction as well when I kissed Jungkook and when he kissed me back the first time as well. I don't want Taehyung to question his gender, but it felt like Jungkook's spell was struck, again, not to a girl, but to a guy. The thing is, it was his co-member.

 

What can't his charm do anyway?

 

 

I saw Taehyung's name popped out of the screen after Jungkook gave me a goodnight kiss and headed straight next door. It was Taehyung who messaged me:

ㅡ“Chaewon, stay til 2am. Let's talk. At where do you want? Cafeteria or inside your room? Don't worry I won't try to seduce you. ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ.” Talk about what? About Jungkook's kiss?

ㅡ“I'm lazy to go down, so let's talk here. I'll try not to sleep. ㅎㅎㅎ”

 

I'll try.

 

 

It was only 12am, how could I stay up til 2am without getting sleepy? Coffee doesn't work for me, you see. I love coffee, but maybe this is the reason why my face is breaking out from acne, and as well as sudden exhaustion. Every time I drink it, the hyperactivity only lasts for thirty minutes to an hour, and it feels like drinking it isn't worth your time, because sooner after the caffeine resides inside your body, you'll feel drained.
I usually go to bed at 2-3am. It was because of the work I have to do. You might be thinking what work am I doing? Basically, those are only reviewing fans' suggestions and reviews about the certain album. Furthermore, I was assigned to pass those reviews to Bang PD- nim every 2 weeks to a month, whenever he want to host a meeting. I should be prepared about preparing ARMYs suggestions. It isn't hard or a waste of huge time to scroll and check ARMYs tweet til 2-3am, but sometimes, or oftentimes I should say, I'm highly indulged by some ARMYs letters to BTS, so I usually compile those in a folder and send those cute messages and letters in Kakao, or personally give it to members every week for them to cheer up because of exhaustion from training. Seeing ARMYs working hard for themselves as well, makes me flutter. I saw some ARMYs graduating college, acing their GPAs, and even passing their board exams. I'm glad BTS took part on their journey to success. I'm glad I'm one of those who can witness their hard work. I feel like this fandom is really a family. No, I don't just feel it. It is a fact. This fandom is a family. People might be lazy tweeting the members, but no, actually, they're reading it when they have free time. So, tweet the members about simple things and act as if the members are yours.

 

This work isn't that easy, and isn't that hard either. It really depends on how you manage your time to check fans' suggestions, fans' reviews, and fans' letter. I also love replying to them on social media even if notifications are building up too fast. I'm still trying to connect with ARMYs as much as I can, because I'm afraid I'm still not doing my job well, even if the members are telling me to take it easy.

One forty in the morning, as I'm watching Weightlifting Fairy, Taehyung's name popped at the upper screen, interrupting the video:

Taehyung: Members are fast asleep, should I come over now?

The message looks dirty, but yea, it's all in my head. I replied yes, and moments after, I heard the door rang. I took a peek if it's really him, and just the color of his brown hair, I already know it's him. Opening the door, I saw him grin with his square smile and his curved small eyes. He was acting like a child. , he was a child.

 

 

 

T A E H Y U N G

 

 

It wasn't just a snap as I saw her face, I got nervous. I went inside her room. A duplicate of ours but some of the furniture inside were quite different than inside our room. The arrangement of it was different as well. As I wandered further inside, I saw that the kitchen was on the left side of the room. The living room would be a bit on a center-right part of the room and the bedroom was at the back, right of the bathroom.
I took myself on the sofa, playing with things til she sat in front of me, offering a tea. “How's the kiss?” She jokingly said and the -

“HELL WHY YOU'RE BRINGING THIS UP?! MY FIRST KISS WAS STOLEN BY HIM. I'M SO MAD.”

 

“Did you like it?” she was laughing and jumping all over, she's weirder than me, the hell.

“Uh, the thing is, I don't really know. But it's not the reason why I went here. I'm not confessing that I'm gay. No, it's not that.” I replied. “But if you're asking me what did I feel, is.. I would answer that my heart fluttered. Seriously, even a normal guy, sees Jungkook, and then he went near to kiss him, no doubt that he would question his sanity as well. Jungkook, is just, way too perfect. He's an art. But- yes, just like I said, it was nothing. He's thinking I'm that naive to fall for his kissing and biting blackmail, nah. I could spill what I heard to the members anytime I want. He's just thinking I'm falling to his trap. That guy.”

“What. The. Hell. Have. You. Heard?” She still has no idea what the heck was the topic.

“Your moans basically.”

The tea spilled as she choked harder to make me worried. She was waving her hands, telling me to calm, as I noticed that I was standing already to tap her back. Seconds passed as I saw her calm down, but her tears were edging still beside her eyes because of it. “I already heard what I heard. So, yes, to sum up, I was about to go inside our dorm when a glass shattered. I thought it was some sort of burglar sneaking inside of your room, but as I went near, it turns out to be you and Jungkook having fun.” She wasn't staring at me anymore. “It doesn't matter to me though. It's just funny because Jungkook kissed me and bit my neck. I was so surprised that he would go to that extent. Though, I have my own will to confess to members about what both of you did, but I plan not to spill the tea. Not because I made a promise to Jungkook, not because he kissed me, not because he blackmailed me, but because.., I value the privacy.” I was trying to sound mature, but in reality I wanted to tell Jimin everything like for real. I couldn't forget how Jungkook sounded hot as he hit Chaewon. Recalling those scenes makes me laugh, but see, after going back to those, comes those memories of Jungkook kissing me on lips, and it might really be the reason why I'm holding back. It might be soon, after telling Jimin about the they had, he might have open up the topic about why Jungkook imprisoned me in his arms on that night like-

Yeah, I need to avoid that conversation as much as possible. Even if I tell Jimin hyung that Jungkook kissed me, it would still be darn awkward. I was just flustered. Soon, I'll forgot that scene, hopefully. “It's normal for both of you to do it, it's not like you guys can't resist lust. If it's powerful, then let it be. You're in the right age already. Nineteen, right? It's the age where you should experience and explore.” I'm quite withdrawn by this, maybe because of the culture here, but I'm trying not to make things awkward for her and Jungkook, and for us.

“AHHH I DON'T WANT THIS. WHAT IS IT YOU WANT. I'M LISTENING.”

 

“Ah.”

And this was where things would get serious.

 

Later this day, I saw Jungkook talking to Hayoon. The girl I met few months ago. The girl who is a doctor or some sort of staff at the hospital in Seoul. I can remember things clearly, even the slightest details. I'm just dumb to mix things up, so I tend to be clueless and clumsy sometimes. Maybe this is why ARMYs find me amusing and goofy.

Brushing that aside, later this night, I saw her talking to Jungkook. I'm aware about the promise thing, and the contract kind-of relation they have, but I'm clearly sure that whatever they're talking about was related somehow to her. Yes, I'm positive about this. I rarely become intuitive, but when I do, it's pretty accurate.
“I have to warn you.” I whispered. Her eyes widened and her eyebrows flew up. “I have a feeling something is currently happening, but I'm just--- not aware of it.” She shift her glances side to side, trying to analyze what would it be. I watched her became aghast.

“Am I going to die or some sort?” She laughed it off. I know she won't take this that serious, but I showed my black face, which made her became nervous as well.

The faces I saw earlier; I was positive this thing couldn't just be neglected. Hayoon was worried, and Jungkook's fists were balled. It wasn't just a normal matter. It was something I should lay an eye for. I don't want somebody here, including her, to fall into misery. If there is something I should do for that feeling to halt, I'll take the opportunity right away to stop it.
“Please watch your surroundings. I have no idea why am I feeling this way, but it's better to be aware of everything. This is just a hunch, so don't base your life from here, but don't neglect this intuition neither. Just leave your life as it should, but if you notice some danger. Whatever it is, might be health, or what, please contact Jungkook, or me.”

“Oh.. Okay, I will. This is a bit sudden though. What made you think that way?” I paused for a while and smiled.

“Like Jungkook, I'm also meticulous. Maybe I should say...

 

 

I found something wrong?” I chuckled after I sipped the tea just to make the atmosphere bit bright. “I'm just warning you, no need to be extremely curious about this. Just-- avoid things that might hang you on the thread.

 

Prevention is better than cure, isn't it?”

 

 

 

 

C H A E W O N

 

 

Odd. Everything happened today was strange. From me almost getting drunk, to the , to Taehyung's warning. Everything was weird.

I wanted to sleep, but I didn't want to rest with this stinky oily body I got after Jungkook and I did the game. I could smell his perfume mixed mine; not stinky, but too sensual to re-imagine things we did. Ugh, no. I need to stop.

 

 

 

Bathroom, for me, is a place where I can think the deepest thoughts my brain can process. I really don't have the idea why. It is as if, it's 2am where my brain starts to be creative and imaginative. This room is definitely my office.
The warm water continued showering, as well as the questions flooding inside my head. This was the first time I saw Taehyung extremely serious about a certain topic. Yes, I've talked to his unplayful side before, but this time, he was really worried about me. I believe in sixth sense, and I believe Taehyung is the best observant of the group. He analyzes things pretty accurate, and is curious.

Now, if Taehyung confronted me about this thing, I really need take things seriously.

“AH THIS IS STRESSING!” I pulled my hair and sat down on the floor. I didn't worry about sitting on the floor, because I always clean my bathroom every three days. “What the hell was that?” I tried to calm while trying to guess what Taehyung said. The warm water kept on gushing out from inside the shower. Taking a deep breath, I slowly opened my eyes.

 

And as I stare at my palm, I stumbled back to see strands of my own hair. It's not a clump, but I guess it was too much for a woman to shed. I gulped anxiously as I balled my palm to fist. One, two, three, four, as I counted every strand of it, sticking it at the walls.

 

 

I almost fell as soon as I'm done.

 

I lost fifteen strands. I shed fifteen strands and counting.

 

 

I hurriedly turned the shower off, wiping my wet hands and face on the towel as I hauled my phone inside the cabinet. There were a lot of possible disease I could think of and most of it were serious conditions. I didn't know why I grabbed my phone, maybe to call Taehyung? No?

I drew the small chair beside it, and sat on top of it. I kept on gulping, trembling as I turned my phone on. Ever since high school, I'm a health conscious person. I diagnose myself if I feel something wrong about my body, even if it's just a mild headache. Now it was different. For the first time in my existence, I shed ing fifteen plus hair strands on bathing. I was panicking. Is this Taehyung's intuition all about?

 

 

 

Hair loss, 18 year old girl.

 

I typed as I shiver in cold, I waited just a second til it loads. I closed my eyes, thinking all of the possibilities of disease. Cancer hair loss is cause by chemotherapy, so it's excluded. About stress, I'm not stressed!

Okay whatever.

 

I reopened my eyes and read the first article.

 

I almost jumped in shock, for it was written:

 

Is hair loss an acute symptom of AIDS/HIV? Find out