Voices echoed off the walls of the studio. The origin, though, was not from the lone figure crouched over papers filled with lyrics and scribbled notes but from a radio to his side. Occasionally, the scrapings of lead on paper molded with the voices, the only sign of life in the serene room.

“Have you ever fought bad?” asked one of the DJs of Love FM’s Two Men Show.

“We haven't ever got into a fist fight...” a voice replied.

Nickhun, Minjun thought absently, his focus more on the lyrics in front of him and the tune playing in his head.

Junho’s lilt voice followed next, saying, “we didn't get into an actual fist fight, but definitely everyone had their fists clenched at least once.”

A chuckle escaped Minjun’s lips at the comment.

“However, we're people who are stuck together for good, so we have to resolve everything by talking. Because we can't let weird situations occur,” he continued.

Minjun nodded, still not totally focused, his pencil gliding over the paper in purposeful . A short second later the pencil froze as Junho’s last statement clicked in his mind. Weird situations. Wasn’t the incident three days ago a pretty good example of such situations?

The conversation on the radio slowly faded into the background as memories swamped his minds, snatching his attention away.

The waiting room was so saturated with tension that Minjun could feel it even behind his tightly shut eyes. He felt strong arms circled around his waist and he buried his face further into the firm chest, craving some semblance of solace. The back of his neck was still damp with cold sweat and his body was slightly trembling. It felt as if he was standing on the precipice of a panic attack as a visceral fear worked its way up his spine. His extreme reactions bewildered him. His head and heart hurts but his mind refused to let him address the cause. The arms around him tightened and a cheek rested on his head. He was totally engulfed now. It felt warm and safe and unwittingly, his heartbeat started slowing down, following the rhythm beating against his cheek and filling his ears. The hand on his back started rubbing small circles and despite himself, he was finally lulled into a restless sleep.

When Minjun awoke in time for their interview, he tried making peace. He reasoned that he should forget about his encounter with Nickhun and opted to act as per normal. During the interview, he placed his hands on Taecyeon’s shoulders in a rebellious move against Nickhun’s claims. What he did not anticipate, though, was the muscles under his fingers going taut as Taecyeon tensed up, as if uncomfortable with the touch. As if scalded, Minjun quickly retracted his hands, trying hard to control his facial expressions. He felt a prick in his heart that his mind was adamant to dismiss, forcing his attention towards their upcoming performance instead.

Unsurprisingly, even after the performance, the atmosphere was heavy. There was no laughter or cheers deafening the room, nor were there the usual chaos of physically large but mentally young kids jumping and flying around. Instead, there were thin smiles and brittle laughter to dry jokes meant to lift spirits but failing in its attempts. Minjun felt guilty for ruining their night. By the time they had to leave, he was more than relieved to be away from s as he would travel separately from them. Unlike them, he would head straight to his studio to work on his solo comeback track that still needed some finishing touches instead of going to the radio station.

Which was why he was in his studio right now and not together with s. The reminder jerked him out of the trance he was in and turned his thoughts towards the mountain of work that had yet to be done.

“Come on, focus! Work, work!” he berated himself, tapping his cheeks lightly to wake himself further.

He shook his head to clear his mind and determinedly picked up his pencil to continue his work. As if on cue, the DJ mentioned his name and his pencil halted before it could even begin its journey across the paper. The question that followed had him gripping it so tightly to the point of snapping it in two.

“Are you all okay with it, if he takes your hand?"

“Yes,” the boys chorused in unison.

Minjun instantly beamed, soft laughs emanating from deep within as his heart lifted with joy. His pencil dropped onto the desk as he used both hands to cover the goofy smile he couldn’t help shaping his lips. He fanned his heated cheeks, mildly embarrassed at his own reaction. Huffing out a puff of air, he felt relief washing through him as it was now apparent that he had been thinking too much. Everything was fine between him and the others. Their relationship would not turn sour from one awkward evening.

“Shouldn't there be someone who's not too eager about this?” the DJ retorted, uncomprehending.

The conversation continued amidst Minjun’s relief and he snickered at the DJ’s skeptical tone. However, it was not long before the glimmer that was in Minjun’s eyes seconds before dimmed and slowly faded away.

“I think Taecyeon doesn't hold hands much...” Nickhun abruptly declared.

His earlier smile waning, Minjun hung onto every word coming from the radio while nervously trying to right the already well-placed glasses on the bridge of his nose.

“I don't really like skinship in general,” Taecyeon confirmed.

Hearing those words, trepidation set in and he his suddenly dry lips in an effort to moisten them. However, cold breath coming from a constricted heart quickly dried them again.

“So if he takes your hand...” The DJ prodded, hinting at an explanation.

He started fidgeting restlessly; wiping his sweaty palms on his pants, unconsciously curling and uncurling his fingers.

“Ah, I don't shake it off...” Taecyeon trailed off as if unsure of his own answer.

“You don't shake it off, but...” the prodding continued as the DJ caught onto Taecyeon’s uncertainty.

Coldness began creeping in, his hands turning white where it was bunched into impermeable fists and pushing rigidly against his knees. He waited, blood rushing in his ears and heart palpating as if on drugs, so sure of the words coming next.

Unexpectedly, it was Chansung who piped in this time.

“Even if you don't shake it off, it's way too obvious. "Hate it, Hate it, Hate it.""

Chuckles emitted from the radio as Minjun’s heart sank. His hands blindly reached out to turn the radio off, his body suddenly blanketed with cold and the word “hate” echoing in his mind.

“What am I so scared of?” he muttered to himself, looking down at his trembling hands.

He recalled his conversation with Nickhun as well as his reaction afterwards. Added to his current reactions, he began to question if something really bad had happened all those years ago that caused him to unconsciously repress his memories and caused his own mind to refuse letting him even think about it. He tried to go through his memories but every time he felt like he was getting close to remembering, his mind would lock down and he’d be filled with such cold dread as if premonitioning a disaster.

Minjun clenched and unclenched his fingers repeatedly until the trembling subsided and the stars at the corners of his vision disappeared. Resigned, he knew, just like how he could not force his inspirations, nothing but frustrations would come out of forcing himself to remember. He meekly picked up his pencil for the umpteenth time and instead tried to get some work done. Nevertheless, despite his efforts to concentrate, his thoughts kept drifting before hitting an imaginary brick wall, distracting him from even the simple task of reading. He went over and over the same line on his lyrics sheet before finally calling it quits and turning to his computer to listen to his recordings instead. Yet, even that could not keep his mind occupied and he had to replay the same notes multiple times. By the time he heard sharp knocks on his door, he was about ready to tear his hair out by the roots.

Deciding he needed a break anyway, Minjun plodded out of his studio towards the front door. Upon reaching, he opened the door, totally forgetting to check the monitor for who it was that had came knocking. His mood instantly soared as the figure filling up his porch greeted him with a familiar rebuke.

“Boya, hyung!! That was dangerous! You didn’t even check who I was before opening the door!” Chansung berated the moment the door was opened.

“Ne~ Arasso. Just come in already,” Minjun interrupted, pulling the giant maknae into the house by his arm and closing the door.

“What if it was someone bad? What are you going to do with that weak body of yours?” Chansung kept it up, undeterred.

“Yah, haven’t you seen the pictures? Your hyung has buffed up!” Minjun argued.

“Psh. More like you starved yourself to reveal natural muscles. You didn’t build on any more that what you already have. Even your broad shoulders have shrunk. Besides, you're always overworked and tired- “

“Keumanhae! Arasso, aradago!” Minjun yelled over Chansung’s berate.

Stumped, Chansung went quiet. Their eyes locked for a few seconds before they simultaneously burst into laughter.

“So? Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be resting? We have another show tomorrow and you guys have a fansign to attend,” Minjun queried when he finally got his breath back.

“I came straight from the radio station. I brought lunch for you. Bet you hadn’t eaten the whole day,” Chansung held up a plastic bag to Minjun’s eye level, smirking proudly at his own initiative to care for his hyung.

Right on cue, Minjun’s stomach rumbled, eliciting more laughs from the both of them. Still smiling, they headed towards the kitchen before settling into chairs across each other. Chansung took out the bag’s contents one by one and placed them on the dining table. There was tteokbokki – of course he knew what his hyung loves the most- individual bread packets and lastly, ice-cream cones. Minjun gazed longingly at the ice-cream cones.

“Wae?” Chansung asked, his hands halting from their action of retrieving disposable utensils from the bag.

It was worrisome; his hyung had suddenly retreated into silence with a complicated look on his face while staring at ice-creams.

“I’m on a diet Chansung-ah… Why do you tempt me by putting THAT right under my nose?” Minjun cutely scrunched up said nose while sighing as if in great misery.

“Screw your diet,” Chansung thought but instead voiced out, “it’s yoghurt ice-cream so it’s oka-”

Before he could even complete his sentence, Minjun had already snatched the ice-cream and was peeling the packaging.

“But hyung, that’s for dessert. You should eat something filling first or you’ll get a stomachache,” Chansung frowned, attempting to take the ice-cream away as he was worried for his hyung’s health.

“Aniya~ gwaenchanh-a,” Minjun grinned, already digging into the dessert like a deprived child.

Chansung grunted and decided to let it go. His hyung deserved a little pleasure once in a while, what with all the work he’s been doing. He smiled softly while watching him literally inhaling the ice-cream, feeling happy and pleased that he could provide some respite for the other. His thoughts floated to that evening three days ago, relieving the horrors of how overwhelmed with helplessness he was as he held a trembling Minjun in his arms. It was scarily similar the time of Minjun's father's passing. How he had to maintain a nonchalant face despite the worry filling his heart while shielding Minjun from view so as not to alarm the other members in the room. How the worry continued troubling him till he felt he had to see his hyung and do whatever he could to put a smile on those lips again. It was hard for him to refrain from probing, to not demand to know what had scared his hyung so. But he understood his hyung, knew very well that he would stubbornly not utter a word and keep it all in until he felt ready. So it comforted him greatly to see the spark dancing in his hyung's eyes again, even if it was for a moment.

The sound of cardboard scrapping against glass pulled his attention back to his hyung. Even before he swallowed the last bite of the ice-cream, Minjun was already reaching for the box of tteokbokki. Chansung stifled a laugh as he passed him a plastic fork. It was then that the doorbell rang.

Chansung lifted a brow.

“Expecting company?”

Minjun, mouth now filled with tteokbokki, shook his head no and made to get up to answer the door. Chansung stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Continue eating. I’ll go answer.”

Minjun beamed, squeezing the hand on his shoulder before taking his sit again.

“Besides, who knew what kind of weirdo you would open the door to,” Chansung continued as he walked away, his voice increasing with the distance.

He was replied with a chocking sound that had him chuckling as he checked on the monitor. He opened the door slightly and squinted suspiciously at the two figures standing by the doorway.

“Oh, Chansung-ah,” Nickhun greeted with a slap to his upper arm.

He proceeded to push the door open wider and slipped into the house. Taecyeon raised a brow at the pointed look Chansung was aiming at him before wordlessly slipping pass him to follow Nickhun into the house. Chansung sighed into the now empty doorway before closing the door, feeling troubled again.

“Minjun-ah!! We brought lunch!!” Nickhun shouted, thinking Minjun would be in his studio.

“Heol! Daebak!” Minjun emerged from the kitchen looking pleasantly surprised and excited.

“Oh. Taec. You’re here too...” he added at the sight of the last person he wanted to see at the moment.

There was a halt in his steps and a slight hesitance in his voice that Taecyeon could not help but notice. A smile was still gracing his lips but he looked… uncomfortable? Taecyeon decided to store that in his memory for now.

“Yeah, Nickhun said we should check in to see if you are still alive since you would probably starve yourself while locked up in that studio of yours,” Taecyeon smirked as Minjun blushed, knowing he had hit the nail on the head.

Minjun started sputtering and blabbering about how he couldn’t help it since there was just so many things to do in so little time as they covered the short distance to the kitchen.

“I was eating with Chansung but I still have some space left in here,” Minjun patted his belly, “ so what did you bring?” he grinned, excited at the notion of more food.

Minjun was about to take his previous sit when Chansung nudged him to move in and took the sit for himself, effectively separating Minjun from the other guys. If Minjun had found the move odd, he did not comment and just sat down. Nickhun settled himself into the chair that was previously occupied by Chansung before they arrived while Taecyeon sat at the head of the table. Taecyeon started taking food containers out of the bag he was carrying when Nickhun suddenly burst into a fit of laughter.

“Wae?” Taecyeon asked, confused.

“This!” Nickhun exclaimed amid his laughter while pointing to Chansung’s open container of tteokbokki in front of him.

Taecyeon peered into the container and he too guffawed, leaving the other two perplexed. He opened the food packet they had brought along before the other two was finally in on the joke and joined in the laughter. It turned out that Taecyeon and Nickhun had brought tteokbokki too, and now Minjun have enough for dinner and maybe tomorrow’s breakfast as well.

“Hyung, you should really tell us another favourite food of yours other than tteokbokki,” Chansung commented with a nudge to Minjun’s hips.

Minjun nodded in agreement and put his arms around Chansung’s waist, his laughter remaining.  Minjun’s hug and the way he nuzzled his cheek into Changsung’s arm before letting go did not escape Taecyeon’s notice. He had to forcefully pull his gaze away and turn to look at his friend when he felt a kick to his shin. Met with a pointed look, he sighed and held up a hand, gesturing for Nickhun to wait.

The unexpected joke broke whatever awkward atmosphere all four of them were dreading of. The lunch was as noisy as only 2PM lunches could be despite having only four people present. Minjun, not wanting to disappoint either one of his dongsaengs, took out a plate and filled half of it with Chansung’s tteokbokki and the other half with Taecyeon-Nickhun’s tteokbokki. Not that any of them would care if he had not eaten what they brought over. It was just a typical Minjun-thing to do though, so they let him be. As they enjoyed the meal and the company, they made lame jokes and laughed as they usually would at any other day. Deep down inside, each one of them was glad that despite the series of events leading up to that lunch, they were still the same, dorky friends. It was a comforting reassurance of their friendship.

“Omo, neomu giyowo!” Nickhun remarked as he held up a packet of bread with a smiley face.

“That’s Jun-hyung’s normal snack whenever he locks himself up in the studio,” Chansung snitched lazily, his upper body sprawled on the table, already drowsy from a full stomach.

“Yah~ Keumanhae, jaebal~” Minjun pleaded from where he was - resting against Chansung - regretting his decision of eating too much.

He nudged Chansung’s back with his chin before hitting it lightly in reprimand. He then yawned wide and rested his forehead against Chansung’s back.

Taecyeon watched the pair closely before finally making a decision.

“Minjun-ah…”

“Hmmm…?”

“We need to talk.”

A heartbeat.

“No.”

Hello friends! Sorry for being gone for so long. School happened and exams are approaching so I could only write while having my meals 😭😭 I'm still in the midst of my revisions so I can't promise when the next one's gonna be up. Sorry and please dont give up on me! 🙏🙏 I promise to be back the moment my exam ends. Cross my heart and hope to die.

While searching for materials for this chapter, my feelings that Chansung is Jun.K's silent protector is reaffirmed. One simple example is how Chan stayed by Jun.k's side in Jun'k's unrevealed scenes from immortal songs. Watch here from the 12.05 min mark: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDC-MdFCfqM. You can see in his eyes how genuinely worried he was cos he knew how nervous Jun.k was. He stood there silently watching and supported his hyung and not making a joke out of it (looking at u Taecyeon). When Jun.k asked him to pretend as the audience he was more then glad to help. Plus, this interview

Like, he dropped everything for his hyung 😍😍

And these convos between them are just awwwww

Lastly, this is the bread I was talking about in case you were wondering

Special thanks to EunM15 for constantly checking in to make sure I was still alive 😂😂 and glad that you've recovered from ur cold. Here's to you 😘

Also, special mentions to new subscribers Deahartika 1722803358 peuleya babikhun welcome and thank you for reading this humble story!!