Minjun shivered in his crouched position. His knees were held to his chest, his head down between his knees and his arms around his shins. He lifted his head, expecting Junho’s concerned face to fill his vision but only seeing nothingness. It was cold. So cold, dark and damp. He lifted his hands in front of his face but could not make out the shapes of his fingers. A cold wind blew causing him to shiver again and he saw the tiny movements of his fingers trembling. He rubbed his arms to gain some heat, the coldness of his palms against his arms causing him to tremble slightly. He blew a breath and felt the fog against his face. He should be afraid, panicking even, but the only feeling he had was numbness. His heart was as emotionless and cold as his surroundings.

“Where am I?” he croaked.

He was replied with silence. A silence so deep he could hear ringing in his ears and his every heartbeat. He stood up, unintentionally backing into the cold stone wall against his back. He hastily stepped away, the cold already seeping into his spine. Trying to keep the cold at bay, he folded his arms and hunched his shoulders. He put one foot atop the other in an effort to keep as little contact with the freezing floor as possible, only then realizing that he was barefoot. What had happened? Where was he?

He furrowed his brows as he tried to recall his most recent memories. He had a fight. That’s right, a fight. With who? Taecyeon… Oh. He felt a prick in his heart but it was numbed, as if there was a glass wall between him and his emotions. Why were they fighting?

“Don’t think about that. You need to move.” A voiced suddenly whispered from somewhere in the dark.

Minjun whirled, trying to find the voice but all he could see was darkness that went on for eternity.

“Who’s there? Come out so I can see you,” Minjun croaked again, his voice rough as if he had not used it for years.

He tried to feel afraid but could not reach the full extent of the emotion, only experiencing a hint of it.

“Go on,” the voice coaxed, flowing like silk in his ears. “Move forward,”

As if compelled by it, his feet took a step, then another.

“Yes, that’s it. Go on now, keep moving,” it cajoled, as if speaking to a small child.

It was so unlike him to throw caution to the wind but it felt right to listen to the voice. It comforted him in the vast darkness.

“Who are you?” he tried again. His voice was stronger now.

“I am you.”

“What?” Minjun knitted his brows in confusion though the emotion he felt was dulled. His steps faltered to a halt.

“No! You must keep going!” the voice whispered urgently.

Minjun felt a gust of wind pushing him forward, making him shudder against the cold.

“Go!” another voice accompanied the first, more urgently this time.

“You must hurry!” a third voice overlapped the second.

Soon, multiple voices whispered in a chorus, urging him to keep walking.

“Move!”

“Must hurry!”

“Don’t stop!”

“Okay! Okay! I’m moving! I’m moving!” Minjun tried to hush the voices as he lifted his foot off the ground to resume his journey. “But where are we going?”

Unconsciously, he had included the voices as if they were real beings. It was odd but again, it felt right.

“You’ll know.”

“You’ll see.”

“Be strong. You need to be strong.”

The voices replied to his question in unison.

Curious, Minjun turned to what he presumed was his right, since he had no way of knowing in the darkness except by feel, and went in that direction. No objection from the voices. Where was he going? It seemed the direction did not matter. Alas, he continued onwards, aimlessly, his bare feet gradually growing numb against the cold floor. While walking, he asked more questions to his ‘companions’.

“Where am I?” he queried.

“You are in you.”

“In us”

“With us.”

“Deep within us.”

Their replies flowed over one another, seemingly without end, though none of them gave a real answer to his question.

So, he cut them off. “How did I get here?”

“Because you fought.”

“You are ready now.”

“It’s time.”

“You are stronger now.”

The more he asked, the more questions he had as the voices only answered in riddles. By then, he had no idea how long or how far he had walked but soon, he grew tired and his knees buckled. He reached a hand out reflexively into the darkness to stop his fall and his palm met with a damp wall. A wall? He had thought there was nothing surrounding him.

“I’m tired,” he complained, blowing a cold breath. He could feel the clothes sticking to his back and sweat dripping down the side of his face and dotting his forehead. He was met with furious protests.

“No! Keep going!”

“Just a little bit more!”

“You’re almost there!”

“Don’t stop!”

“But there’s a wall in front of me,” he whined.

“Just go.”

“There’s no wall.”

“You need to see.”

“Must see.”

“Cannot stop.”

The voices continued urging him. No wall? Then what was under his palm? Reluctantly, he pushed off the wall. He wiped the sweat off his face and squared his shoulder before rushing forward. Squeezing his eyes shut, he braced for impact but stumbled as his shoulders met with air. He should feel surprised that the wall had disappeared but again, the sensation was dulled, as if his heart was in a drugged state.

“Go now,” The first voice urged.

As if hypnotized, he continued. It eventually dawned on him that all the voices sounded identical. Only, the first voice held more authority, enabling him to distinguish it from the rest.

“There!”

“You see?”

“We’re here!”

“Hurry!”

“Don’t stop!”

The voices suddenly whispered excitedly.

“Here, where?” Minjun asked just as a light emerged a few meters from where he stood.

Taking more cautious steps, Minjun moved towards it. It seemed that the light was shone from above, landing in a halo onto the ground. In such obsidian darkness, the light was too bright that Minjun had to shield his eyes as he searched for the light source. However, the light went on for eternity upwards without a source anywhere in sight.

“Hurry! Hurry!”

“Go on!”

“Open it!”

Minjun looked down, curious to see what the voices meant. At the heart of the light’s halo was a wooden chest. It stood at waist high and approximately of similar width. He crouched down to examine the intricate designs carved into it. At the lid were carvings of musical notes, melodies, the sun, seas, beaches, forests, mountains, birds and clouds. As he traced a finger over the carvings, he felt a hint of joy and light-heartedness. However, under the light’s shadows, there were designs depicting sadness; of heartbreak, death, mourning, disappointments and anger. His finger hesitated over those designs as if they were giving off a bad vibe. Retracting his hand, he turned his attention to the chains that was keeping the chest shut. The chains looked heavy and indestructible as they wound around the chest. The lock holding the chains together was intricately designed too. He was about to touch it when he saw movements in his peripheral vision. He whirled to face whatever it was, almost losing his balance and reaching out to the chest for support.

“You don’t want to do that,” a voice warned before its owner stepped into the light.

Minjun registered a dulled sense of shock and terror.

“How could this- you- who are you?” he stammered.

The person coming closer towards him looked so much like his teenage self. But that could not be possible, could it? Minjun shook his head and blinked hard to clear his vision. His hands gripped the chest lid hard as his younger self closed the distance between them.

“I am you, of course.” He stopped a step away from Minjun and cocked his head, smirking at Minjun as if mocking him for being slow.

“Now, step away from the chest.” Just like that his voice hardened, together with his facial expression.

As soon as Minjun retracted his hand, the voices that had been silent all along suddenly resurfaced.

“Don’t!”

“Open it!”

“Must open!”

“You need to see!”

The voices started off as whispers but climbed octaves after octaves higher, overlapping and flowing over each other, until they were bouncing of the walls in an ear-splitting crescendo.

“Don’t listen to them!” his teenage-self shouted to overcome the voices. “They don’t know you! I know you! I have been with you your whole life! I AM YOU!”

“No, I am you!”

“I am you!”

The litany of voices rebutted.

“We are all you,” the first voice whispered but it somehow transcended over the others, even his younger-self’s, hence echoing the loudest. “Open the chest. The answer’s all there.”

“What answers?!” Minjun screamed towards the ceiling, even as he clasped his hands over his ears to drown out the other voices.

“In the box. You’ll see. Open it. You’re ready.” The voice whispered in utter calm amidst all the chaos.

Minjun reached for the lock, one hand still over his ear.

“NOOO!!” His younger self wrenched his fingers from the lock and pushed him away. “You are not ready!!” He turned to check that the lock was still in his place before he spun around to face Minjun. “This!” he pointed towards the chest, his face a mixture of anger and fear,” is pain! Lots of pain!”

Just then, a figment of a memory attacked Minjun’s mind. He saw himself curled into a fetal position on his bed, his whole body wrecking with sobs that were muffled by a pillow. Together with the image was a piercing pain stabbing at his heart. Unlike the numbed sensations he had been feeling throughout his journey, this pain was real. Too real that he dropped to his knees while clutching at his chest, barely able to take in a breath as tears flowed freely down his cheeks as if a dam had been lifted.

“See! You are not ready!” his younger-self proclaimed, vindicated by his reactions,” I have protected you from this! So listen to me! Trust only me!”

“Open it!”

“You must see!”

The other voices continued to rebut each word leaving his younger-self’s lips, causing his head to start aching from all the shouting.

“You are ready. You are strong.” The first voice emerged again amidst the chaos.

Minjun got up from where he had landed on the damp floor and tried to get to the chest again. His younger self blocked his path and pushed him back, insisting he not open the chest. Despite his size, he was much stronger than Minjun, forcing him to put up a real fight to get past him. He latched onto the chains, using them as leverage to pull his body nearer to the chest or the chest nearer to him, whichever was possible. His younger self’s protests got more desperate as his arms tightened to a point of pain around Minjun’s waist. The other voice’s wailings too got louder the closer Minjun inched towards the lock. However, as the lock came closer to his grasps, Minjun realized a problem, he had no key. Still, with a last roar, he lurched forward and grabbed the lock, ignoring the scratches on his other arm as his younger-self clawed at him. He pulled at it with all his might, simultaneously thinking that what he was doing was ridiculous, but feeling as if that was what he was meant to do. As if in slow motion, he heard a click before watching as the lock unhinged and disintegrated, together with the chains.

“No…” his younger self sobbed from where he was plopped on the ground in defeat.

The pin-drop silence that followed as all the voices suddenly stopped was so deafening that Minjun heard a high-pitched ringing in his ears. He stood stock still, unsure of his next move.

“Hold my hand.” A figure stepped into the light and this time he was the mirror image of Minjun.

Minjun had no more capacity to be surprised. He calmly took the offered hand and watched as his other self pushed the chest lid open. The silence was broken by a creepy creak as the lid pushed up on its hinges to reveal the chest’s contents.

Minjun felt crushed and hot. He tried to move but there was no space to turn. He blinked open his eyes, intending to rub them but realized even his hands were held down.

“Mmhhh,” he protested, knocking his forehead lightly into a firm chest.” Too tight,” he complained as he wiggled his body further.

“Hyung?” Chansung blinked a couple of times, unsure if what he was seeing was real,” you’re awake! Are you alright?!”

He retracted his arms from around Minjun and leaned back to bracket his face with his large paws, looking intently into his hyung’s eyes.

“Sshh. You’ll wake the others. I’m fine,” Minjun gave him a reassuring smile, but crinkled his nose soon after,” just hungry.”

Chansung stared wearily into his eyes a moment longer, not trusting his hyung’s words but a tell-tale rumbling had him snickering.

Minjun thumped his chest in reprimand,” told you I’m hungry. Do you have to embarrass me?”

“Arasso, arasso. Let’s go. I’ll cook you something,” Chansung relented, secretly eased that his hyung felt well enough to joke around.

Chansung carefully lifted Junho’s arm from around his waist at the same time Minjun disentangle himself from Wooyoung, careful to avoid Nickhun’s arm and leg which were draped around Wooyoung. Minjun noticed a member missing and consciously ordered his heart to not feel disappointed. Both guys creeped out of the bed and tiptoed down the stairs towards the kitchen. Minjun immediately plopped into a chair, anticipating a full-course meal. Chansung was just taking out ingredients from the refrigerator when a shrill scream suddenly shook the house, accompanied by the stomping of feet down the steps.

“HYUUNGGG!! CHANSUNG!!! HYUNG IS MISSING!!!”

Chansung would have dropped a bowl of left-over miso soup which he was holding and created a mess had it not been for his fast reflexes. He placed the bowl onto the counter top as he sighed in relief at the apparent diversion from a disaster. He then turned towards the hall where the screaming was coming from.

“Over here, Junho-ah! Jun-hyung is here!” Chansung called out.

All three men fumbled into the kitchen in their panic. Upon seeing their smiling hyung by the table, they collectively sighed in relief, Wooyoung ending up on the floor.

“Don’t do that to us, hyung. We already had enough of a scare today,” Wooyoung complained.

Minjun looked sheepish. He got up and went over to his dongsaengs, hugging them one by one while repeating his apology for making them worried. Not forgetting their maknae, he walked over to the stove where Chansung had started cooking and gave him a hug from the back.

“Gosh! I really needed that!” Minjun exclaimed appreciatively as he clean his third bowl of kimchi fried rice. He had not realized how famished he was which was unsurprising, since it was past midnight and he had not even had breakfast. “Komao, Chansung-ah,” he beamed at the maknae.

Chansung returned his smile with a satisfied one, relieved that his hyung managed to keep down three bowls. Yet, he was still worried about the nervous breakdown the other had that morning. They all were. They were just waiting for him to tell them because no amount of prodding could convince Minjun if he was not ready. It was typical of Minjun to keep everything in until they grew bad enough to overflow and leave him drowned in devastation. As if reading their thoughts, Minjun sighed.

“It’s-“

“Don’t say it’s nothing,” Junho cut him off before he could start. “Hyung…Please…” he begged, unashamed that he had to resort to it.

“I…” Minjun cleared his voice and turned towards Nickhun,” the other day, you mentioned the talk we had years back when we just debuted. Remember?”

Nickhun nodded. Understanding dawned on Chansung’s face while Junho looked like he had an inkling. Wooyoung, however, looked blank. Minjun decided to continue; he figured Nickhun would fill him in later.

“I was just trying to recall that conversation. Sorry I made you guys worried. My brain is filled with too much nonsense that it took a while to dig through everything,” he shrugged nonchalantly.

The others knew that Minjun was attempting to make light of the situation to appease their worries.

“It took way too long, Minjun,” Nickhun stated, clearly not taking up the bait.

Minjun looked away,” some things aren’t meant to be dug up. The consequences would not be so... pleasant…” he trailed off.

They were silent for a moment as they contemplated what Minjun had just said, understanding the true weight of those words as they each reminisced a painful memory. A clang broke the silence, jerking them out of their thought. Minjun had abruptly jumped up from his chair, the back of his thighs hitting it hard enough for it to topple back and hit the floor.

“We missed our flight!!!” his eyes rounded with his realization accompanied by panic.

“Calm down, we’ve cancelled the flight. You need rest.” Nickhun reassured him, tugging at his hand to urge him to sit back down as Chansung righted his toppled chair.

“Oh,” he breathed as he slowly lowered himself into the chair, his heart still beating a mile a minute,” so when is the next flight?”

“There are no flights. We are cancelling everything,” Junho explained coolly while stacking their bowls.

“What?! But it’s our Tokyo Dome concert!!” he looked around the table at the indifferent expressions of his teammates, feeling bewildered,” what about our Japanese hottest?!”

“Hyung needs rest, some time off,” Wooyoung said, finality in his voice.

Minjun dragged a palm down the length of his face, exasperation in every vein. “Listen guys. Right now, you guys are the ones causing me to pop a vein. I. DO. NOT. NEED. REST!” He reiterated while looking each of them in the eye. “Someone better get on that phone and book the next flight before I start going on a murderous streak,” he finished using his ‘hyung’ voice and glaring at them for good measure.

“But hyung-“ Junho started.

“Look.” Minjun interrupted him and placed both hands on the table, palms up. As if on cue, each one of his dongsaengs placed a hands into his. He closed his fists, tightening his hold on their combined hands. “I know you are worried. I am sorry for causing that but I am fine, truly. I need to do this. This concert means a whole lot to me, as I am sure it is to every one of you too. I would regret my whole life if we miss this. So please…”

They took a while to deliberate before Chansung hesitantly nodded.

“Ok, but alert us the moment you feel even the slightest bit wrong,” Nickhun demanded.

Minjun gave his promise and watched anxiously as Nickhun started making the calls.

“No!” Junho almost shouted,” No! No! Definitely, No!”

“I need to do this, Junho-ah.”

“You said that about the concert too and we already gave in to that. But this is too much! No!”

“We are having the concert tomorrow. It would show if we are fighting. Hottest have sharp eyes, they would pick it up faster than lightning,” Minjun tried to rationalize while coaxing his dongsaeng.

“No, not after what happened yesterday,” Junho was still adamant. He shuddered at the thought of the lifeless look in his hyung’s eyes. Never again. He would not allow it.

“I promise that won’t happen again,” Minjun reassured.

Junho was about to protest further when Chansung pressed something into Minjun’s palms. Minjun opened it to reveal his spare phone.

“I am on speed-dial. Call me if he so much as breathes wrong,” Chansung ordered, his jaw set and his expressions hard.

“Let’s go kids. Let the grown-ups have their talk.” Nickhun pushed Chansung and Junho towards the elevator before taking Wooyoung’s arm and heading towards the same direction. Before leaving, he gave Minjun a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder and a warm smile. Wooyoung kept on looking back as they made their way to the elevator, worry etched all over his face. They stared at him for a while before Nickhun leaned forward to press the ‘close’ button. Chansung had on his stoic mask while Junho still looked petulant. Chansung made a last call signal with his one hand as the doors slid shut.

With them gone, Minjun turned around to face the hotel door. This was it. The moment he had replayed over and over in his mind as he was falling asleep the night before and continued replaying the moment he had risen that very morning. His heartbeat accelerated and his palms grew sweaty.

When he met up with s again at Gimpo airport that morning, he was extremely antsy due to the maelstrom of anxiety, nervousness and anticipation raging in his heart. Although, when asked, he would conveniently blame it on the upcoming concert. He tried his best to act normal, making sure to engage each member and their manager, joking around while waiting in line for the check in, and waving goodbye to hottests who came to send them off. He prayed every second of the journey that his facade would not be compromised for fear s would decide to quarantine him to his bed. It felt like it took forever, but finally, they landed in Japan and now here he was.

Minjun in a breath and knocked.

You must be thinking, "Another cliffhanger! 😡"

I know, I'm sorry! 😖 I had no choice! The story has a life of it's own and I can't control it, I swear! Please don't kill me 🙏🙏 Like I planned for this to be the last chap, but look what happened...😭

Do you guys want this story to end though? Like are you getting tired of the drama? If you are, I'll try to wrap it up in the next chap. I'm not gonna make promises though since I seemed to be pretty bad at keeping them... heh..😓

As I said, updates will be slow because, life 🙄 siiighhh...

Last chapter, I forgot to tag Junho's tweets. For those who are curious, here they are. You can see the real korean tweets on Junho's twitter dated 21 Oct. It pains me when I read them

but the members are all so encouraging. And true what Chan said, arent the members with you, Junho-ah?

Comments time!

EunM15 Yea, Taec need to chill a little. But I guess cos he had just realised his feelings so he was a bit possessive. And he wanted to confess but the timing just wasnt right. hehehehe. I dont know if I should develop the khunwoo and chanho parts of the story too. But it seemed too much work and would intefere with taeckay, so maybe some time in the future. But i'm glad you like the khunwoo parts 😁

peuleya  I knooowwwww. Taec is such a fluffy dork 😂😂 but i need ppl to realise that he has a serious and intense side too. So that they will see that he is worthy of Minjun hehehe why does chansung and junho bother you? You dont like this pairing? Well, since the members are all so close to each other, of course when Minjun suffers, they would all feel it too. I promise a happy ending for Taec and Minjun, so stay tuned! 😘😘

Finally, thank you and welcome to new subscribers!! 😘😘

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