If Kim Sunggyu had ever the thought of Lee Sungyeol being a ty guy for a friend, he was gravely mistaken. No, Lee Sungyeol was even tier than that, he was sure of that. Why did he even bother to convince himself otherwise? Kim Sunggyu didn’t really know. He was stupid to even think for one millisecond that Lee Sungyeol might be innocent for the mishaps the former had been into then.

Lee ing Sungyeol was the harbinger of his misery—if only Kim Sunggyu could rid of him forever but whom was he kidding? Kim Sunggyu was unfortunately Lee Sungyeol’s bestest friend and getting rid of the latter would be as difficult as getting a permanent tattoo off—it’s almost impossible.

Sunggyu didn’t really mind the fact that his best friend had signed his name into the list of those going for the trip without his consent. No, he was fine with that. He didn’t really mind too that the other had suggested to the whole class to go to Jeonju because— “Sunggyu had been through a lot these past few months so, it’d be great if he could run away from reality for awhile and go back to reminisce his old childhood”, he had generously elaborated with a drop of fake tear down his cheek when in fact, Sungyeol had just wanted to go there because he could. But Sunggyu was fine with that too.

What Sunggyu hadn’t been fine about though, was the fact that Sungyeol had abused his power as a favourite student of Mr. Kang to let him organise the trip. Well, it was only a three days and two nights trip, really— the trip wasn’t exactly restricted to very much rules, student were even allowed to arrange their own itinerary as long as they had remained within the agreed theme of the trip being Memory, save for those few rules that had been emboldened just for the sake of student’s safety:

1. No alcohol during the trip

2. Curfew at ten p.m.

3. See rule #1

If Sunggyu were to be honest, the whole idea of the trip hadn’t sound all that unscrupulous really— if only an idiotic Lee Sungyeol hadn’t bribed Mr. Kang and had specifically recommended himself to design their group’s itinerary for the whole trip. The elder wanted to scoff so bad when they had received their so-called itinerary, Mark frowning confusedly when he faced unbelievable difficulties translating Sungyeol’s unique handwriting into coherent sentences while Woohyun, Myungsoo and Jinyoung could only pat Mark’s back—trying their best to convince the innocent boy that it hadn’t been his fault for not understanding such bizarre language even if he was originally a non-Korean.

Sunggyu had honestly dreaded of how their trip would pan out that weekend, luckily Myungsoo had developed a very rare yet useless talent when he had somehow adept to understanding the alien writing of Lee Sungyeol, helping them through their first day with only some troubles. Their destinations that day were mostly those of a typical trip fortunately. Kim Sunggyu couldn’t say that it was the same for the second day though.

Saying that it was a disaster would be the nicest way to describe their travel, really. Yet the only reason Sunggyu was putting up with every ordeal he’d been put through was because he had indeed missed his old hometown and he didn’t want to upset Mark who had came unto him with so much glee knowing that Sunggyu was going to be the greatest tour guide for them – the promise was of course on the unnecessary courtesy of Lee freaking Sungyeol.

If Kim Sunggyu were to pick a leaf off each time he had cursed his fate because of a Lee Sungyeol, the former was convinced that the Earth would’ve been bald even before the apocalypse could hit them.

But who was he to deny his fate? After all, Kim Sunggyu was only human who’d lost the Heaven’s blessing.

That evening of their surprisingly-decent-first-day though, Sungyeol being the self-appointed leader had went up to their teacher-in-charge and had received three separate key cards for their travel group, had emphasised their supposed room arrangement for the rest of the trip and had even dared to wink at Sunggyu before both Myungsoo and him had entered their own room just across Sunggyu’s.

Sunggyu’s jaw had lagged at the insinuation. Had Lee Sungyeol forgotten that both Sunggyu and him had once hated Nam Woohyun so very bad for what he had caused the elder? Had he forgotten that night when both of them had their heartfelt conversation bordering around derogating that certain Nam Woohyun? Had he forgotten it all that he actually had the nerve to wink and even whispered an inaudible “don’t be too loud” to the elder?

Kim Sunggyu had thought that it was very incredulous of him to do so even if the anger Sunggyu had harboured for the brown-haired boy was beginning to dissipate much to his chagrin. But that hadn’t meant that he had forgotten everything. Heck, he didn’t even know if he had actually forgiven the younger or not. The only thing Sunggyu had done was accepting Woohyun’s presence in his life, yet never had it ever crossed the elder’s mind about forgiving his deed. After all, accepting the reality of such unavoidable blunder did not exactly equate to forgiveness, did it?

The elder could only huffed a reluctant sigh as he dragged himself into the room; Woohyun towing from behind with an idiotic smile that Sunggyu had certainly failed to notice as his back was the other. The latter had taken a brief look at the spacious room before he finally dared a small smile.

Well, at least his lanky friend still had the decency of giving them a room with two separate beds. Sunggyu wouldn’t even dare himself to think of the many possible ifs had they shared the same bed and in the same room—all alone. Sunggyu quickly shook the thought away as he shivered, shaking off the images of having two guys in the same bed, skin upon skin as they cramped in the comfy space. No, stop.

“Hyung?” The younger had voiced out, pulling Sunggyu out of whatever forbidden thoughts he was having then. The said guy had only flickered his eyes before he faced the other; an almost inaudible “what?” had barely left his lips then as he felt heat creeping under his skin at the thought of being caught imagining things that initially weren’t even supposed to be imagined.

“You okay?” Woohyun had asked instead, a faint frown defining his sharp feature as he looked at the elder with concern. Sunggyu had only nodded his head, his eyebrows knitted, equally confused with the unexpected, sudden apprehension. Woohyun swiftly shook his head, a soft smile making its way to his lips as he gazed at Sunggyu’s thrown look.

“You’ve always been like that, you know.” Woohyun started, the other’s frown digging deeper at the unforeseen statement.

“Like what?” Questioned the elder when he saw the look on Woohyun— like he was studying Sunggyu, peeling each layer of his wall off with every gaze he had let on. Kim Sunggyu didn’t exactly feel comfortable, had felt so very exposed and as Woohyun’s eyes were kept on him.

“Like you’re always in a daze.” Woohyun had responded before he took his time walking over towards Sunggyu and dipped his bum into the bed just across the elder, his own eyes then looking up into the other’s. “Your eyes would look far but had seemed like you weren’t really looking too far out. You look like you were, I don’t know— thinking maybe. Sometimes you look like you were dreaming too.”

Well, to say Kim Sunggyu was startled would be an understatement really, because he certainly hadn’t expected such brazen words coming from a Nam Woohyun. He would never have thought that the younger would notice something so indiscernible, something that Sunggyu believed was irrelevant because it was only beginning to become a habit then. Yet Woohyun had noticed and the elder didn’t know if the tingle in his tummy was because he was gladly surprised or because he had felt valued. Sunggyu had only shrugged though, looking down—straight into Woohyun’s eyes.

“Well, that’s because I am.” He had replied before he too, had sat himself on the bed opposite of the other, their knees then grazing against.

“What of?” Woohyun questioned again yet Sunggyu could only look amused at him then.

“You are one curious guy, you know that right?” Said the latter, more of a statement rather than a pure question.

“Yeah, have been told that before.” Woohyun had said out loud. “But only with those who matters.” He had continued with a soft whisper, quiet enough that Sunggyu had to strain his ears to hear what was being said, and gentle enough to show that he hadn’t meant for the elder to hear them in the first place.

“What were you thinking of, usually?” Asked the younger of the two before he took Sunggyu’s numbed arm and began massaging the tense muscle, recalling the doctor’s précised direction from the previous appointment as he did so.

“It doesn’t used to be thinking, you know. My head, my vision had always been occupied with streaks of the future’s moving pictures. I didn’t even have any time to go thinking about each of them because there were just so many.” He had begun, eyes looking out the window as he gazed at the waving leaves on a tree branch just outside the frame, feeling the tense of his muscle slowly going away.

“But you already know that I don’t see them anymore, not for now anyway. And suddenly, I just found myself with so much free time, so many things to think about, and so many emotions to fare with.” Sunggyu then turned his head, only to catch himself drowning in the sea of Woohyun’s earnest gaze. The meaning behind them were as though he had wanted the other to continue his words, that he was listening. And continue he did then.

“I haven’t felt so many emotions all at once in a long time, you know. I don’t even remember when was the last time I felt antsy, when was the last time I’ve ever been surprised, the last time I’ve ever truly felt scared or sad because I’ve always anticipated everything beforehand. It was only a flicker away— just a flicker and I would know everything.”

“Then, I just stopped feeling. Stupid, wasn’t I? I just stopped being a human. Did you know I didn’t even bat a lash when I found out that a cousin of mine had almost committed suicide? Because I already knew that she wouldn’t succeed, that the rope she was hoping to end her life with was brittle and that it wouldn’t be able to hold her weight. Everyone was so scared, had dreaded the possibility of losing someone they cared but I wasn’t, because I would always know who would stay and who wouldn’t.” Sunggyu had felt his numbed fingers trembling so he quickly took them into his functioning one, hiding the trembling within the tight grasp of his own.

“And now that I don’t have that luxury anymore, I just suddenly find myself very scared of living. I wasn’t scared of dying, but I was scared of living and not knowing what the future had for me.” He stopped, eyes glistening as tears threatened to fall down. All those while he was pouring his heart out, he hadn’t really realized that he had actually averted his eyes from Woohyun’s. It was only when he noticed the heavy silence hanging between them did he realize that Woohyun hadn’t uttered even a single word then. And it sent Sunggyu into an edge—suddenly apprehensive of what the younger had thought of him now that he knew how empty of a shell the other was.

“Sunggyu,” Woohyun had begun, startling the said guy with a tone he wasn’t really used to. The moment he heard his name being said, all of the sudden, Sunggyu felt fear coursing through him, he had feared what Woohyun had been waiting to say. He was scared. He didn’t want to hear how inhumane Sunggyu had been from someone so gentle like Woohyun. Almost immediately, the elder had shot up from the bed and patted his sweaty palms against his jean, startling Woohyun when he had pulled his numbed arm away from Woohyun’s soft touches.

“Forget it. Sorry, I don’t really know what got into me.” He stuttered out, glanced at the time before he evaded the topic. “Look, it’s already 8 o’clock. Let’s have dinner. I’m sure Sungyeol would assault our door any soon.” He had said, hoping it would stop the conversation but Woohyun hadn’t want to when he called the elder again.

“Hyung.” He said, was just about to open his mouth to convey something Sunggyu hadn’t wanted to hear when they suddenly heard endless and countless of knocks raking against their door. Sunggyu’s eyes flickered for a while before he forced a smile; God only knew how grateful he was for helping him out.

“Uh, that’s Yeol. That’s our cue. Why don’t we go now.” He had dismissed, avoided the other’s eyes, as he hastily his feet, just so very impatient to get himself out of that suffocating room. But Woohyun just wouldn’t let him when he had suddenly grabbed Sunggyu’s wrist, took a few small steps before the latter had found Woohyun’s gaze in front of him, the latter’s hand slowly sliding down from his wrist to interlock with his hand.

“Hyung, have you ever wondered why I wanted to stay close to you?” Woohyun’s voice was of a borderline whisper then. Sunggyu could almost feel the other’s warmth on his skin despite the several inches gap between their faces. And the elder couldn’t help but notice the word Woohyun had used then—wanted. It wasn’t that Woohyun had needed to stay but he had wanted to, and it left a warm feeling pooling in his chest as he realised the depth of such word.

Yet Sunggyu had only shaken his head then, sighing as he looked away. “I told you before and I’m telling you again now. You are the questions that I have been having in my head lately and I just can’t seem to find the answers to them, not by myself at least.”

“You already have the answer, hyung. You just didn’t know you had it all along.”

“What?”

“Hyung, those doubt in your heart, the ones you had convinced yourself to believe in,” Woohyun had said. “I’m here to prove them wrong.”

“To prove what wrong?”

“That you’re only a shell.” Sunggyu had blinked at the other, baffled. “You’re more than that hyung. You’re alive and your heart is still beating, and it’s bleeding. But we’ll fix that up— together.”

And Sunggyu had noticed, at the sound of the word together, that the scar on his eye had suddenly throbbed. And just as soon, he had noticed again, that Nam Woohyun’s thumb was already gently caressing the skin just beneath that eye.

And for the first time, Sunggyu hadn’t felt like pulling away, hadn’t felt like slapping the hand away, and hadn’t felt like hiding the scar that he was very ashamed of.

And despite the ridiculous sound of it, Kim Sunggyu had found comfort in Woohyun’s touch.

“Okay… So, done with the lovey-dovey act now?” A voice had suddenly interrupted then. Surprised and flustered, Sunggyu could only regret it afterwards when he had already shoved the younger off and Woohyun had already toppled onto his bum, face wincing at the painful impact.

“Y- Yeol!” Sunggyu squeaked in surprise, hadn’t expected anyone to be in the room when he was very sure that Woohyun had locked the door when he had entered just before.

“Myungsoo?” Woohyun frowned at the two figures hovering at the entrance.

“How the heck did you get in?” The brown-haired guy glowered at the two, probably pissed at the lack of privacy when things were going a bit— private if they had to say so. Myungsoo had only shrugged the pointed look off before pointing a thumb at the long-limbed guy besides him.

“Sungyeol has an extra key of your room.” He briefly explained. Both Woohyun’s and Sunggyu’s eyes had widened at the unexpected info.

“What?!” Sungyeol swiftly threw them a defensive look when he realised the glares he was receiving.

“Hey, I just need it for security purpose, ok? Just in case Woohyun was going to pound on my beloved best friend and kidnap him for good.”

“If you were so worried then, you shouldn’t have put us in the same freaking room, you stupid giant!” Sungyeol though, had only gasped a bit too loud then, had even sported a look of insulted at the elder’s accusation but Sunggyu knew better than to fall for his act.

“How could you, Gyu! I didn’t put you guys together! It was Mr. Kang!” Sungyeol had protested, melodramatically placing a hand over his chest as he pouted at the rest of them. Sunggyu had only snorted at the blatant act before he rolled his eyes— like anyone would believe that .

“Yeah, right.” He retorted, sarcastic. But if Sungyeol had actually heard the sarcasm in his tone, the lanky guy probably didn’t really care when a smirk had made its way to his lips as he eyed the both of them.

“Well, at least you guys get to have two separate beds.” Said the guy as he wiggled his eyebrows, suggestive.

“You—“

“Though I doubt they’re going to use both now.” Sunggyu’s face had only reddened even worse when Myungsoo had decided to play along, Woohyun bulging his eyes out as he gaped at his own best friend.

“Awh, Myung, I’m starting to feel like our chemistry is off the chain now.”

Hi, guys! Surprise~ It's an update! I read your comments and you guys don't know how much I kept re-reading them and how much they drove me to write more! So here I am, updating another chapter. But it's shorter than usual, right? Well, that's because I have another chapter hidden. Everything is supposed to be in a single chapter but it's too long, I had to break it into two. I might publish it soon, but we'll see. I'm not satisfied with it yet. Thank you for your support! Comments are loved! ;)