That man, the man in the dream, Kim Sunggyu just couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that he knew him, that he’s, familiar. He didn’t remember the dream vividly per se, but he thought he remembered it enough. He remembered the feeling he had, vaguely recalled that he’d floated in the harsh waves of deep, Blue Ocean. He’d watched that man standing over the surface of the vast sea, looking down at him before he was suddenly pulled to drown, and then all he could hear afterward was his own choked struggles and a brash wind of whispers that he could barely remember.

So he’d retained that much, but that much just wasn’t enough for him to make sense of everything, to figure these mysteries out.

Sunggyu had been getting this sort of dreams every once in a while these past few months. He had used to ignore them, had thought that it was probably only a dream. But it was getting more often than not, even during the brief naps he’d managed to squeeze in during the day, and they had begun to itch on his mind because now, they hadn’t felt like they were just a dream.

More often than he could remember, Sunggyu would always found himself woken up to tears on his cheeks, or sweats down his temples, or gasping for air, or even finding his hand reaching out in the air like it would when it’s trying to grasp for something— but just what?

He didn’t know. He wouldn’t know because he couldn’t even remember it even if he did know.

Sunggyu was getting restless; he’d lost a fair amount of sleep over the whole ordeal. It’d take a brainless and a blind man not to notice the growing bags under his eyes, or the lack of appetite he’d shown in the way he’d only picked on his plate but barely swallowing them down. Yet he’d never told anyone. He would faintly smile and shook his head when Sungyeol had shown his worries about it, would shrug it off and changed the subject when Woohyun had asked him about it sometime during their frequent secret hang outs over Sunggyu’s place.

They’re affecting him, yes, but he thought, that it was all the more reason not to tell them because then, they’d worry more, they’d ask more questions and Sunggyu honestly had no answers for them. He didn’t understand why it was happening to him now, didn’t know if any of those dreams had even meant anything, and if they had, Sunggyu knew nothing of what they’d been trying to tell him.

He could barely remember them; much less deciphering what behind meaning they might be holding. So he didn’t tell them. He would, Sunggyu thought, maybe one of these days, but only when he was sure about those dreams himself, when he’d cracked them down and understood whatever messages or hints they’re telling him.

But he wouldn’t know, wouldn’t be able to do so, because those dreams were only there as fragments of something he could never think of. It would take something entirely else for Kim Sunggyu to understand them, something that he just wasn’t ready for – it might happen soon, but only and only when He is ready.

It was a breezy, chilly morning when Sunggyu had decided to take a walk outside. It was cold, but he actually found it hard to mind the freezing air when his mind was already numbed and his body, exhausted from the swirling, unanswered questions and the lack of sleep.

He had only decided to have that walk because it was Wednesday, and the earliest class he had wouldn’t start until 11 a.m. He had also thought that a brief walk might actually help ease his restlessness or at least took his mind off of his misery even just for a little while.

So he tried to empty his mind, had tried to think of just simply nothing, and had even tried to convince himself to just relish in the chill breeze and the warm sunlight on his skin, but that thought had somehow, someway turned into an unavoidable mistake that he’d wished he hadn’t made.

It was already a little too late for Sunggyu to realise that a blank mind and an aimless stroll together, could have brought the worst possible outcome of what was supposed to be a calming walk.

Because then, just somehow and someway, the temporary, useless brain of his legs had led him to that place, the one place that he hadn’t visited ever since that accident.

Oh, just how much Sunggyu had missed that place— he really had no idea.

“Yah, I’ve always wanted to ask. You always frequent that store and always buy a CD every few days no matter old or new. Why is that?”

He could almost hear Sungyeol’s voice ringing in his ears, had almost smiled as he recalled his favourite store— but the smile could never really make its way unto his thin lips when what he had expected to see never really fell into his vision.

He couldn’t help but freeze in front of the shop—a different shop.

No.

He felt dread bulking up in his chest as he shook his head and took a step closer towards the shop – the old, worn out entrance was no more in view. Only a brand new modern entryway and a freshly hung plate of a totally different name had occupied the space instead. He raked his eyes over the shop once again, then spied the surroundings once more – just to ensure that he hadn’t came to a wrong place. Maybe, he’d taken a wrong turn. Maybe, he was confused because it had been months since he visited the place.

But he wasn’t. Kim Sunggyu still remembered that burger franchise just across the shop, had been one of their most valuable customers since he had always dropped by every time Sungyeol and him had came to visit the shop.

It couldn’t be, he had thought. There’s no way. He had refused to believe.

He could feel the reluctance in his steps as he walked into the new store; his eyes roaming around only to try convincing himself that maybe it had only been a brand new renovation of the same store. Maybe its owner had managed to attract new, loyal customers while Sunggyu was recuperating, had gained more and more money and possibly renewed the place all over. But the inside of the new store was nothing close to what it used to be.

It had been CDs and DVDs all over, and then a corner just for customers to listen to previews of the songs, then another corner where Sunggyu had especially loved to linger around to write all the little things and pasted them on the Post-it-music board. It was such a warm and cosy place for the musically oriented Sunggyu.

But the freshly painted store had nothing of those sorts. There were no CDs, no DVDs and no more of those corners. Only racks with organised books, comfy cushions for a place to read, small tables for hot bereavement and the fragrant mixture of books and coffees altogether that filled the place.

It was just different— too different.

“Hi,” an unfamiliar voice suddenly greeted, had broken the reverie Sunggyu was dwelling in. He gingerly his heels to meet a fairly young boy bowing politely, his body cladded in funky attire that somehow suited the brightly decorated store.

“How may I help you?” He heard the other asked, a polite smile still etching on his lips.

“H–hi,” Sunggyu stuttered out, “I, uh, sorry.” Words just wouldn’t form in the midst of his turmoil. He could already feel pain stinging his parched throat, as he tried swallowing nothing down.

“I just, um, just wanted to ask,” he began after a while, had seemingly finally collected his thought.

“What—“ he gingerly swallowed, “what happen to the music store that used to be here?” The younger boy would’ve heard the quaver in his voice had he been more tentative and less distracted over every potential customer that passed by.

“Hm? Oh, that Destiny Musical store?” The other replied, tilting his head back to the elder male while Sunggyu had only barely dipped his head in an attempt of a nod.

“It was shut down a few months back. Our owner bought this place and opened this shop. We’re still only a few weeks old actually,” the employee grinned a little too bright for Sunggyu’s forlorn mood.

“It was shut down?” he echoed back, a frown taking over his face.

“Yes,” the other actively bobbed his head.

“Then, what happened to the owner of that store?” Sunggyu could almost recall the vision he had once seen, had internally begged that it didn’t happen as he remembered. But, the hesitant shake of the other’s head had only betrayed his thought, could feel something breaking inside his chest.

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t know about that. I was only recently employed here,” he had regretfully answered but still, the answer hadn’t make the sudden growing bitterness in his throat go away. In fact, it had only grown even bitterer, harsher at the indefinite fate of the previous owner.

“I – I see,” he bit on his lips harshly, “and uh, thank you,” he thanked the employee after a while. “Sure thing! Oh, but do come again, okay? I brew great coffees!” He had faintly heard as the door dinged close behind him. He had rushed to leave the vicinity, had just let his legs took him away, further and further away from the Library Café, away from the once his favourite music store, and also possibly away from the memory of his own vision too.

Sunggyu barely memorised all of his visions. He didn’t think he could remember them even if he wanted to because there were just too many of them. It was impossible to retain everything. His memory had always been selective on what he was going to store in that little space of his head. And the store had always been one of them.

He still remembered when he’d seen the sad, sad look on the old man’s face as he watched the bank confiscated his shop. He still remembered the glossy eyes and the taut look on the old man’s grandson’s face when all he could do was hold back the tears and watched all the contents of their shops being sent away in huge boxes. He remembered their torn, disappointed looks when they had to finally hand the keys to their store back to its rightful owner.

Sunggyu hated those looks. He had vowed to help them when he had seen that vision, had tried to prevent that unwanted future from happening when he kept coming back to the store to buy something every few days. He had wanted to change his vision. But it was futile; he hadn’t changed anything at all.

Kim Sunggyu was once again, useless.

He wanted to cry so much just from the sheer thought of his uselessness. He even honestly thought that he would cry, yet, strangely enough, Sunggyu hadn’t.

He already knew the store would shut down. And he also knew that his vision could always change its course. He had always have the optimism of a destiny changing, had always believed that people could change them. So when for the first time in a long, long while, Sunggyu had failed to do so— he already had the thought that he would’ve cried a little, if not a gallon. Because why wouldn’t he?

But he hadn’t.

It was strange. Why were his eyes too dry? Why wouldn’t he cry when he could almost literally feel sharps clawing at the pit of his stomach? Why?

The walk back to his college afterwards was strangely quiet – was uneventful despite his malfunctioning brain and his half-blind vision. The sad smile on the old man’s face and the glossy eyes of the young boy had lingered in his mind a little too long than it should.

He wanted to laugh at himself, really, maybe even scoffed at himself and at the irony of his life choices because, while Sunggyu had only wished that the impromptu walk he'd taken would allow him some peace and calm over all these predicaments he'd ended up with, yet, all he’d gained instead were endless string of questions, and a mind even more muddled and confused than ever.

Unsurprisingly, it had taken Sunggyu a lot longer than usual to reach his college. He had taken a usual, different route as he made his way there, had made it a point to actively avoid going through the intersection as per usual. He still didn't have enough trust in himself to make it through that junction without breaking down, without the memory of it fleeting through his eyes and the scars all over his body stinging and numbing him in return.

So when Sunggyu had found himself back there at that road, the one road he had come to hate, the one junction that took his life away, he was confused— was even taken aback, because –

How had he reached there?

He could only stand there, body immobile and rigid right at the same spot where he had used to be then. He had to blink his eyes several time, had even internally questioned the reason he was there when he was supposed to be on the other, different road?

No, he wasn’t supposed to be there. He was confused. He thought he had remembered taking that turn just before. Or did he? He just couldn’t think, head fuzzy and aching because it was all just so, so confusing but Sunggyu needn’t really have to figure the answer out when all of the sudden, an all too familiar scene was somehow re-enacting in front of him once again.

And he knew then, came to realise that this was all just a dream – an all too frightening dream that he had once had, a dream that he had prayed so hard not to haunt him ever again. But here he was— witnessing almost everything all over again.

God, please, please, no.

He tried to take one step behind, had wanted to leave the dream if that was even possible, but that was all he could do when the scene was unfurling right within his— he finally realised— his intact, full vision. But he hadn’t been able to appreciate the realisation when the accident was actually happening in front of him.

It used to happen in a swift in his vision, then slower when it happened for real, and even slower when he had seen it all over again in that dream before this one – every details and every speck of blood ingrained in his memory as if the accident itself had happened to someone else and he was only there to be a spectator, a witness to his own fight of life and death.

And yet just somehow, this time, it all but happened just a little too fast for him to grapple. He didn’t even see when he, his other self, had rushed out unto the speeding road just to sacrifice his own world for a totally unknown stranger. He didn’t even realise that he was already laid on the tarred road, blood draining out of him while Woohyun had scrambled and knelt by his side – crying, sobbing.

Woohyun.

He felt his chest oddly tightened when he was once again reminded— of Woohyun, of his tears, of his bloodied hands, of the scar on his eye, of the loss of his gift, just of everything. God, why was he seeing this again? Why was he reminded of everything again? Why couldn’t he just forget? Why wouldn’t anyone, or heck, why wouldn’t the world just let him be so he can actually try to move on? Why were they haunting him even in his dreams?

Why still?

He just wanted to run from that junction, just wanted to run away from everything, from his dreams, from his reality, but his legs were stiff, taking the deepest and strongest roots within the blood-stained road. He couldn’t go anywhere; let himself witnessing everything again when he had heard a voice calling his name – an eerily familiar voice.

“Sunggyu,” that nasally voice had called. God, it sounded just so familiar, just so ing similar to his own voice, but he didn’t understand – couldn’t understand because that was just impossible. How was that possible?

So he frowned, blinked his furrowed eyes and let them travel to the source of it, wanting nothing more than a proof that he wasn’t just mishearing it. Yet nothing had ever prepared Kim Sunggyu for what he was going to see then.

Sunggyu felt an eerie shiver coursing through him as his owns eyes had met the pair of eyes that he was just so, very used to, staring back at him. The other him, the battered and injured him— the him whom was still oozing blood but had been blatantly looking at him. But that was impossible. That was just a dream. Sunggyu’s other self couldn’t possibly see him, himself, in his own dream. It was his dream.

Impossible.

“Sunggyu.” It called again. He called again, his tone pressed lower, urgent. Sunggyu stared back, watching how the blood had run from the injured eye and then down the other’s cheek. Sunggyu had been watching him when he had heard his name, could see that the voice hadn’t actually come from the other’s mouth.

Because those lips hadn’t moved— maybe slightly agape, but certainly hadn’t moved an inch to form any word at all. Only his bleeding eyes had lingered his way, he had noticed. Sunggyu was sure though, that it had sounded as though it had come from within his own head, as thought it had resonated there and only there in the small space of his mind, ringing in his ears. But how? What—

“Sunggyu!”

It jolted Sunggyu’s eyes open, his body jerking abruptly at the sudden jar of wakefulness. He panted, chest heaving up and down from his ragged breathing, heart still harshly drumming against his ribcage when he had seen his friend, Sungyeol, looking at him with eyebrows pinched tightly in what Sunggyu perceived as apprehension.

Only after a while, did he realise that he was lying on a soft, comfy bed or – maybe he was laid there and he just didn’t remember – whiff of anti-septic taking over his sense as he came to understand of where he was. He fluttered his eyes open a few times, adjusting to the bright light as he tilted his head, had also tried to sit up from the bed too, but his head had throbbed so very bad at the movement and it just hurt too much, like a hammer was pounding against his very own skull. Sunggyu had only merely groaned at the pain then, head wincing and eyes pinched tight.

“Gyu, don’t move just yet.” He’d heard a voice that obviously hadn’t belong to Sungyeol.

“Woohyun?” He turned his head to the side, looking the voice’s way, and it proved to be a stupid mistake when his head had miserably pounded again, had almost let out a growl at the sudden, shooting pain.

Once the pain finally begun fading, he’d managed to focus where he’d intended, and then almost immediately, there was a pleasant flutter in his chest when he’d seen Woohyun right there, his brows meeting in a tight pinch, worries written all over his face as he had hunched over, closer by the bed—obviously inspecting him.

With a still pounding head and a comforting, helping hand on his back, Sunggyu slowly propped himself up as he groaned and rubbed his temple.

“What exactly happened?” He’d managed to croak out despite his headache, and only then realising the harsh, hoarse sound of his own voice, a hand almost immediately shot to rub at his throat.

“You fainted,” He’d heard Sungyeol's vague explaination. The elder male had wanted to say something back, but his throat was stinging and itchy and the feeling just wouldn’t go away even when he’d tried swallowing down. So when a hand with a glass of water had suddenly appeared within his limited field of vision, Sunggyu was just so grateful. He didn’t even need to look up to know whom the hand had belonged to.

“Thanks, Woohyun,” he had mumbled softly instead, taking the offered glass before gulping the water down hastily.

“No wonder my head and my throat hurt like hell,” he had replied, wiping off the trickles of water down his chin as he felt the cold drink soothing the stinging pain in his throat. He took a moment before he finally looked back and smiled, was handing the empty glass back to Woohyun when he’d seen an odd look adorning the said male’s face, and then the same look on Sungyeol’s— a frown already showing and a tight knot forming at the bottom of his stomach then.

“What?” He’d asked with that frown, the rate of his heart picking up alarmingly fast.

“Gyu,” Sungyeol begun just before he’d let out a heavy sigh, was earning the said male’s attention.

“What? What else happened?” Sunggyu had pressed, but it hadn’t taken long before the frown on his face morphed into wide, frightened eyes when he had vaguely recalled that dream.

“Wait, I, I didn’t say anything weird when I was sleeping, right?” He’d asked, looking back and forth between his best friend and Woohyun when the latter had only pressed his lips flat, mouth sealed.

“Right?” He’d pressed on, just wanted nothing but a nod out of confirmation, just anything to calm him down.

“Gyu,” Sungyeol had begun again when he realised that Woohyun was still tight-lipped, “you were screaming in your dream just now.” His best friend had carefully briefed in a concerned, austere voice.

“What?“ The elder male grimaced.

“You thrashed in your sleep, hyung. We were worried.” It was Woohyun whom had supplied then, eyebrows still furrowed close as he squeezes on Sunggyu’s thigh firmly. But the latter wouldn’t have it. No, he just wouldn’t because that would mean— Oh my dear lord, he just couldn’t believe it.

Please, oh please, tell him that he did not just have a ing fit in his sleep in front of his friends.

Because that would only mean that so many questions would be fired at him and he just—Sunggyu just didn’t have the answers to any of them.

“That’s – no, that’s stupid. I – I didn’t, I wasn’t,” Sunggyu had shaken his head, prayed that they would but it but really, what was he thinking?

“God, Sunggyu. Just ing don’t! You don’t know how much we had freaked out, okay?! One moment I was walking to college alone, then suddenly I saw you across that intersection and then you just fainted! I had to call Woohyun to help me bring you here! The infirmary nurse told us that you’d be fine mostly but then another moment, you just suddenly started thrashing and screaming in the bed, Gyu! And that was in’ scary so don’t you dare say you didn’t do any of them because we ing saw.” Sungyeol had almost hissed out, his voice barely restrained to a lower tone as he had tried to hold back, probably failing when he’d noticed Sunggyu flinching at his raised voice.

But while Sungyeol was already almost fuming at the elder male, Woohyun though, had only faintly nodded his head then, a forced smile barely there and his tense feature only telling him of his supressed apprehension. The younger might have tried to hide them or mask them, but Sunggyu knew, could still feel the warm hand on his thigh oddly straining.

“We tried waking you up, hyung, but you just, you probably just couldn’t hear us.” The younger male continued. Sunggyu knew he wouldn’t be able to lie through; he had after all, known Sungyeol almost all his life; had also come to admit that he was almost like an open, visible book asking to be read whenever he’s around Woohyun. So he let himself relent, if not only slightly.

“I – uh, what did I say?” His voice was timid as he asked, eyes barely meeting any of them. It was then when he’d felt warm presence by his side; realised that Woohyun had inched even closer then, barely sitting on the edge of the bed as he took Sunggyu’s hand into his own. The latter couldn’t seem to deny that he liked the heat and the soft skin over his own.

“Hyung,” Woohyun had gently called. “Please, would you just tell us what’s going on with you?” He said, squeezing his hand a tad bit. Sunggyu knew what he had meant by the question, but he couldn’t tell him, didn’t want to tell them just yet so all he responded with was a bite of his lower lips and an averted gaze. But Woohyun wasn’t deterred when he’d only pressed further.

“Does that happen often?” He asked, trying to lock gazes with the elder and Sunggyu finally let them when he’d quietly sighed and replied–

“What happen often, Woohyun?” He shot back, avoiding.

“Hyung, why were you thrashing in your sleep? What happened in your dream?” He’d questioned back instead, not playing to Sunggyu’s game.

“I – I don’t know, Woohyun, I just don’t–” He’d stuttered, wasn’t able to conjure up any excuses amidst the firing questions. But the other male hadn’t even bothered to wait for any answer when he’d interrupted.

“Who’s leaving you?” The question startled him.

“I—What?” He’d frowned only because he had never dreamt of anyone leaving him so, “No, no one is leaving anyone, Woohyun. God, why are you asking me that? I— I don’t get it, just, just tell me what happened when I was sleeping, Woohyun.”

“You were screaming a lot, Gyu. You basically kept yelling for someone not to go while you—you thrashed out in the bed, sweating, and screaming. We just didn’t know what to do. We kept calling your name so many times but you wouldn’t—”

“Wait, I – I did what?” He said, hand held up. They probably hadn’t noticed Sunggyu’s confused look when Woohyun had only continued then.

“Hyung, please, you – you’ve been strange lately. We’re worried. You need to tell us what’s going on so we can at least, I don’t know, try to help,” he’d almost sounded desperate then, desperate to get Sunggyu opening up, desperate to know what’s been bothering their friend.

“There’s, there’s nothing going on, okay? Nothing is going on so you guys don’t have to worry. I’ll be okay, I’m okay.”

“But you don’t seem okay, hyung,” Woohyun frowned, not even a tad bit mollified with the elder’s answer. And Sungyeol, he just wasn’t a very patient man, so while Woohyun had been using gentle words and gentle tone on the elder, he’d much preferred the exact opposite of them.

“Gyu, just ing tell us,” His best friend had growled lowly, but Sunggyu’s head had hurt so freaking bad, and he was just as confused as his friends too, so when Sungyeol had snapped at him, he couldn’t help but do an equal snapping at the other too.

“But there’s nothing to tell, Sungyeol!” He’d barked back, glaring at said best friend.

“But it doesn’t look like there’s nothing, Sunggyu! So just ing tell us already!” The lanky male hissed, tugging at his hair roots desperately because he’s just so, so worried.

“And I already told you, Sungyeol! I don’t have anything to tell! Why can’t you just believe that?!”

“ing bull!”

“! I don’t know what you want to find out from me, Sungyeol, but even if there is, it’s not something that you guys can help with, okay?!”

“Well, you haven’t tried us!” His friend had briefly challenged.

“But there’s nothing to try, Yeol! God, just ing leave me alone!” Sunggyu screamed, groaning when he’d felt his headache worsening with every loud yell he’d let out.

“We’re just trying to help, Gyu,” Sungyeol had sounded resigned then, the tone of his voice pitching down as he let out a weary breathe. But the elder was still in the heat of their argument, hadn’t come down from his frustration and anger when he’d slipped out a grave, grave mistake.

“Oh then, why don’t you just ing help yourself with your stupid argument with Myungsoo then?! For ’s sake, your stupid, useless quarrel is starting to—”

“Hyung!” It was Woohyun’s voice that had interrupted him then. And Sunggyu could almost feel as though the moment had stopped for a little while when he’d seen the scowl on Woohyun’s face, had only fully come to realise what he had said then.

! He had only needed one brief look at his best friend to know how bad he had ed up this time. Oh Dear Lord, just what had he done?

“No, Yeol, I – that’s not what I –“

“Okay, Gyu, I get it. Sorry, I was being annoying. Right. I know. I—“ Sungyeol took one step backward, leaving enough space between them so Sunggyu’s flailing hand wouldn’t be able to reach him.

“No! Yeol, I wasn’t – That wasn’t – there’re just too many things going on and I—“

“Sorry, Gyu, I don’t, I don’t really feel good right now,” He’d taken another step back as he shook his head, had turned his head to their other friend whom had only gone quiet, hadn’t known what to do or say in this situation.

“Uh, Woohyun, please send him home safely. I just need to, uh,” Sungyeol briefly looked at the door before he’d turned back, avoiding eye contact with his best friend as he’d muttered a quiet I’m sorry and left almost immediately.

It had taken a lot of courage and effort for Woohyun to cut through the deafening silence that had settled in the room after Sungyeol had left, had quietly stood up from the bed and tugged on the elder’s arm—startling the elder from his own reverie.

“Hyung, can you stand up? I think we should head out. It’s getting dark outside,”

The walk home afterwards was only expected to be cloaked in another heavy silence, Woohyun naturally taking his spot by his side then— but it hadn’t been too close as what Sunggyu had subconsciously yearned for, yet not too far that the elder couldn’t feel the radiating warmth of the other.

It was as if the younger of the two was trying to give him something – space? Time? Quiet? He didn’t know. But he didn’t want that. Sunggyu didn’t know how to say this, how to tell the other, how to even be subtle about it, but he needed something else. He didn’t want the space, didn’t want the quiet and didn’t want the time – because those would only drown him in his own agony, his own guilt. He had wanted warmth, wanted nothing more but engulfed in something else rather than this cold, stabbing emotion that he had been wrapping himself with.

He wanted to forget – even if it’s only for a while moment.

He’d felt as if his legs were so damn heavy as he let them follow Woohyun’s steps, the small space between them almost like a long, long bridge that he needed to cross just to get closer to the other. He’d bit on his bottom lips in a habit of anxiety then, a touch of frown was already stretching on his miserable look as he tried to fight whatever force that were holding him back from doing just that.

But then, suddenly, it was as if there had been a magnetic pull when Sunggyu had lifted his head in a fit of unfounded and sudden courage, had brought his hand up to stop Woohyun just from walking further, to just tumble his own weight into the other’s embrace when he realised—

It was the ing intersection again.

It had almost felt like he was in that dream all over again, yet this time, he knew it was real. It had been as real as it could get when he’d seen that damned traffic light blinking red again.

He would’ve cursed at the world, at the fate, or at whatever destiny had in store for him, or for the both of them if he hadn’t been too frightened at the thought of it happening again.

“Woohyun!” He had shouted, his hand had immediately shot up to grab unto the said male’s arm, and had tugged him back from stepping into his own death. He finally let out a heavy breath when he saw a car sped by, couldn’t help the relief flooding through him when he knew that they were safe for now— his fast reaction had saved both of them from having another bloodied road and another world-shattering experience.

Woohyun though, had only looked back at him startled, the furrowed eyebrows and the confused look on said face had only told him that he hadn’t exactly understood what was going on just yet. And goddamn, it was just so, so infuriating to see how clueless the younger was when a speeding car could’ve rammed him just a moment ago.

“Yah!” Sunggyu had yelled then, his fingers harshly squeezing unto the other’s arm, body trembling yet he wasn’t sure if it had been because of the sudden rush of adrenaline, or had it been fear? But if so, what was he scared of? Was it the thought that he could’ve experience it again? Or was it the thought of witnessing it instead? Or was it the thought that he could’ve lost something else then?

It was daunting how much his heart had thumped against his chest, almost ripping itself out of its rightful space as he tightened his clasp on the arm before harshly shoving it away, angered.

“The light was red, Woohyun! Watch out for the goddamn traffic light!” He had scolded, his face flushed an angry red as he scowled at the dawning look on Woohyun’s face.

“! Gyu, I’m—“

“Oh, you, Nam Woohyun!” Sunggyu had barked out and stomped his way across the road the moment the traffic had lighted green. He didn’t care if the bystanders were watching, couldn’t ing care the loud calls of his name that were chasing him from behind. He just wanted to get away from that intersection, to just get home because— God, it was so uncannily similar as it was the last time, and it just terrified Sunggyu so very bad.

Too terrified.

“Gyu, I’m sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry,” Woohyun had rushed from behind, apologies streaming out of his mouth when Sunggyu had blatantly ignored him, had tried to keep up when the elder had only hastened his pace just to get away from this man. But Sunggyu wasn’t listening. He had heard the apologies, but the fume in his chest was still burning up and he just couldn’t seem to calm down.

“Sunggyu,” Woohyun had ran a little, had abruptly halted in front of the other before he gripped unto Sunggyu’s shoulders, squeezing them firmly as they came to a stop. And Sunggyu couldn’t help but glare back at those pair of eyes that were looking into his own.

“Gyu, listen. I’m sorry. I’m so so so sorry, I didn’t know how that happened but I’m just so, so sorry,” he had emphasised on his apology, had tightened the grip on his shoulders, as if he was conveying just how bad he had felt.

“You almost did that again, Woohyun!” The elder male had hissed, had struggled to move out of those hands but the grips were steel strong, and Sunggyu was still trembling, still too shaken, still too weak to fight against the pressure on his shoulders.

“I know, and I’m seriously sorry, hyung. I – I didn’t mean to –“

Sunggyu frowned at that.

“You didn’t mean to?” He’d scoffed. “You’re ridiculous.” He breathed out a heavy sigh— it was so obvious how affected Sunggyu was, how exhausted he’d felt in the way he had sighed and had shaken his head almost wearily.

“Now just let me go, Woohyun,” He’d tried to shake the hands off again but the younger had only shaken his head determinedly.

“No, not until you forgive me,” told the other, resolute. Yet, it had Sunggyu furrowing his look again, scoffing and scowling as he once again tried wrestling out of his hold.

“Why the hell would you even need my forgiveness? You can do whatever the hell you want! You can just go and ing get yourself killed in an accident if you want. But just, just don’t let me in’ involved again! Just don’t in’ do it in front of me!” He had half-yelled, was too furious and too angered to mind any unwarranted looks from the passers-by, his face flushed in an angry red.

There were hints of tears glossing his eyes then, but he wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t that weak. He had gone through worse, and this was nothing compared to what he’d been through. Nothing.

Sunggyu harshly peeled the hands off of his shoulders when his struggle had proved futile, had shoved those hands away from him, had only wanted to leave and just cocoon himself within his own blankets – to calm down, to chase away the sudden rush of anxiety, the fear.

He had only wanted to hide, to isolate himself, but Woohyun wasn’t letting him. He just wouldn’t. Why was he so stubborn? Who cares about forgiveness? He just wanted to stay away from the epiphany of Nam Woohyun. Troubles always seemed to haunt him whenever Nam Woohyun was involved, and Sunggyu was just too, too tired.

“Gyu, please,”

“Leave me alone, Woohyun. Just, leave,” Sunggyu just shot him a tired, worn-out look, sighed, and brushed past the other.

But it hadn’t even been past two steps when he had felt a strong tug on his wrist, hadn’t even passed a few seconds when he realised he was being pulled again, was his feet albeit without his consent, strong arms amiably enfolding around him.

“Let me go, Woohyun,” Sunggyu warned once more— had almost choked on his own words when he was suddenly wrapped in the warmth he’d wanted to have since earlier.

He tried to push the body away, the heels of his palms pushing against the sturdy figure but the struggle was almost like a trigger. With every effort Sunggyu had conjured up to release himself, it had only tightened the hold around him. No, he didn’t want that. He had wanted the warmth then, but now? No, he had only wanted to get away from him.

It was suffocating to be around him, not right now.

“Please, just let me go,” Sunggyu had almost whimpered, was still struggling albeit weaker then. He then felt one of Woohyun’s arms lifted off of his body, had thought that maybe he was finally letting him go, but it was just so stupid of him to even think that way. Woohyun didn’t lift his hand away to release him – had only done so to push Sunggyu’s head into the crook of his neck and shoulder, to let it rest and nuzzled there before the same hand was already his hair in soft, gentle caresses.

“I’m sorry, Gyu. I’m just so so damn sorry,” he had softly whispered. Sunggyu wanted to wrestle more, had still wanted to leave, but the arms around him were so warm, then the soft, ghostly kisses over the crown of his head were just so pacifying that it had Sunggyu felt something was suddenly lifted off of his chest. Something heavy that had been weighing him down, something heavy that had been nesting in there for as long as he could remember.

And as soon as that something was lifted off, Kim Sunggyu cried, had unmistakably let out a strangled, choked sob.

“I’m just so sorry,” Woohyun had whispered once again, had peppered even more soft kisses on the top of his head while the other just whimpered in response, nuzzling further into the crook of his neck, fingers clutching desperately unto the fabric over Woohyun’s chest.

It wasn’t exactly a surprise when it had taken a lot longer than expected for Sunggyu to lull out of his breakdown. It had, after all, been a while since he had let the dam of his tears broken. Maybe, it was the strange dream, or the desistance of that music store, or the stupid mistake he’d done to his best friend, or the almost accident, or maybe, it had been everything all along that had accumulated – boiled by the sudden fear and anger, that he had finally exploded.

It shouldn’t really be a surprise, yet, it was still pretty astounding when Sunggyu had cried, sobbed, wailed and whimpered, all at once in the middle of the street where people were bustling through. And if they hadn’t mind the weird looks the passers-by had thrown them just a while ago, they definitely did now when Sunggyu had finally quietened, the pointed whispers finally seeping through their ears.

God, how embarrassing, the elder had thought, hadn’t make any effort to remove himself from the younger, too embarrassed to show his snot-laden face to both the onlookers and Woohyun.

“Gyu, I think, we should probably leave now,” he’d heard the other’s voice so very close to his ears. Sunggyu just shook his head, grazing over Woohyun’s shoulder as he refused to do just that.

“No.” His voice was muffled over the fabric. Woohyun had only chuckled when he’d heard and felt the reluctance dripping from both his voice and his body.

“No one is looking, Gyu, so,” the younger had supplied, an amused grin quirking up as he pulled away—tried, before he actually had to peel the elder’s body off of his own when Sunggyu had clutched unto his shirt stronger.

There was a small pout on Sunggyu’s lips then, his puffy eyes averted down as shade of pink had dusted over his cheeks. Woohyun had even dared to chuckle as he watched the elder, then cupped Sunggyu’s face in his hands, before he actually used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe the traces of tears and snots off of his face.

“Oh shut up,” Sunggyu pouted even more as he smashed his palm against Woohyun’s mouth, but the force he had used had only told the younger that it hadn’t meant to be harsh. The younger only laughed louder in turn, interlaced their fingers together gently before he finally led Sunggyu home. The latter just quietly complied, still a little dazed out of disbelief that he had actually cried in the middle of the street.

“You live here all alone?” was the first question that went out of his mouth once Sunggyu had stepped into Woohyun’s house, eyes roaming and taking in the interior of the huge space. It wasn’t exactly anyone’s plan to have Sunggyu to stay over his place. It was only when they had perched in front of the elder’s house silently, waiting for the rigid said male to finally walk into his house, did they irrevocably decided that it’d be better that he’d stayed over.

But the decision hadn’t been on Woohyun though— well, it would be better off to say that the latter was even caught off guard when Sunggyu had been the one who had voiced the idea initially. Woohyun probably didn’t really mind the intrusion, but he was still surprised, had only able to whisper “Yeah, yeah, sure. Let’s go,” because he’d been a little too breathless when he’d seen Sunggyu’s timid glances and reddened face.

The door had already beeped closed when they were toeing off their shoes, the younger male leading the other inside and eventually to Woohyun’s own room.

“Uh-huh, only me and me alone,” He’d responded afterwards, had grinned lopsidedly as he’d snuck a glance back at the trailing male.

“In this humongous house?” Sunggyu asked with hung jaws and an amazed look. Woohyun had to chuckle when he’d seen that rare astounded look on the elder’s face.

“It’s not that big, hyung,” he’d replied with a humble shake of head and Sunggyu had suddenly found a strong urge to roll his eyes at the other because, seriously?

“Woohyun, if this isn’t big, then what of my house? A pea-sized?” Sunggyu had jeered in a fake mock, only glaring albeit playfully at the said male while the other had only barked out a more than amused laugh.

“Oh, come on, hyung! Don’t exaggerate. It only feels big because it’s only me here. You won’t find it big anymore once you see my whole family here, rampaging around,” he had shaken his head again as he finally swung the door to his room open and motioned the elder inside.

He had to wait a few seconds before he realised that Sunggyu wasn’t following him, so the younger male had turned around and flicked his eyebrows upward questioningly when he saw said male had halted right beneath the door frame.

“What?” He’d asked curiously. Sunggyu then did that lip biting again as he finally trudged into the room, and faced him.

“Yeah, about that, umm, I didn’t really see them or other shoes around, so, uh, where are they anyway?” Sunggyu had tried, shifting a little nervously because he was afraid that he might have touched a sensitive topic. But he was curious, and thinking back, he just couldn’t think of any time that they had ever talked about Woohyun’s life. It’s always been about him, and god­, now he felt kind of awful too.

“Well,” Woohyun starts after a brief silence, “they’re back in the States, actually. I just came back here alone. I mean, they all have their lives already settled there, family and all that so,” he had answered, had quietly handed the elder a set of fresh clothes for him to change into along the way.

Sunggyu had only frowned then, had received the clothes hesitantly while the question ‘then what about yours?’ hanging at the tip of his tongue.

He was just about to voice it out when he noticed there was a hint of resigned tone behind those words, was only able to notice it when he’d seen the blank expression on his face, silence impregnating the air as he watched the way Woohyun was staring through a well-framed photo on the nightstand just by his bed – an odd, undecipherable eventually look taking over his feature.

Sunggyu hadn’t seen what the photo had looked like, it was a little too far for his eyes to make out anything other than just a mixture of colours.

Sure, the elder male was curious, had wanted to find out, but he wasn’t going to peer over it; the tense vibe Woohyun was giving out had only successfully keeping him a few meters away and let the silence just grew thicker in favour of giving the younger some time and space.

Yet, fortunately, or maybe a little unfortunately in Sunggyu’s point of view, his stomach had all of a sudden, decided by itself to lend a very helping hand in breaking the tense air that had suddenly taken over them.

His stomach had just oh so kindly offered a loud, loud noise that sounded just a lot like growling. Oh lord, how embarrassing.

Woohyun had almost instantly snapped his head towards the elder and had only blinked his eyes amused at him. Sunggyu would’ve fought the blush under his skin if he could, but who was he to deny his bodily function?

And so, with a faint dust of red colouring the apples of his cheeks, Sunggyu just bit his bottom lips and had managed a small, awkward grin in Woohyun’s way.

“Uh, dinner?” He had suggested sheepishly, Woohyun’s loud cackle had only worsened his blush while he’d just pouted his lips afterwards.

“Sure, hyung. Dinner it is then,” Woohyun had agreed, had wholeheartedly chortled again as he tapped a finger gingerly on the tip of Sunggyu’s nose, the latter only retorted with a swat of his hand and his still remaining pout. Woohyun walked back to the door of his room, a hand on the knob as he turned back to look at the other.

“Just freshen up first and come down to the kitchen, okay? I’ll see what I can come up from whatever’s left in the fridge,” he added afterwards.

“You’re going to cook?” Sunggyu had asked, an impressed yet still suspicious look adorning his look then.

“A single and handsome gentleman has to know everything, hyung. Definitely a great husband material you wouldn’t want to miss here,” Woohyun had bragged with a playful wink, smirking. Sunggyu had only jutted his tongue out and rolled his eyes at the other as he headed for the bathroom, turning around just by the door to retort—

“Then why are you still single if you’re such a great husband material?” Sunggyu cluck his tongue, a playful grin lacing his thin lips then, “I definitely can smell the ugly truth of fabrication here.”

“Well, I happen to be a sap for romantic things, hyung. I’m waiting for the One.” He’d countered with another wink on his way and Sunggyu had laughed at that, peering over as he teased—

“What a ,” He’d laughed a little more when Woohyun had joined the laughter parade and chortled loudly at the elder’s teasing. It was only after they’d come down from it did Woohyun finally say,

“Okay, hyung. Go shower, I can already smell your snots from here,” He’d pointedly scrunched his nose as he waved a hand just over it.

“Yah! My snots don’t smell, okay!” Sunggyu shouted back, then glaring at the other although no harm’s really done with the way his lips was fighting against curling up a smile.

“Okay, okay, now shoo. Shower.” The younger flicked his wrist, still with that mischievous look.

“Fine, I’m showering. Now go away and make some edible food for me,” said the other as he quoted his word in the air.

“I’ll be making the greatest food for you, hyung and you’re going to ask for more in no time, trust me.” He’d said, smirking. Sunggyu had only laughed then, shaking his head as he made a gesture to shoo him away. But before either of them could actually shut their doors close, Woohyun had swiftly peered his head over once again and called out.

“Oh, and Gyu?” He was grinning then, a little mischievous and a little too handsome too that Sunggyu didn’t even want to deny anymore.

“What now?” The said male had only feigned disinterest though.

“Do you want to know something?” He’d asked with that grin. “No,” Sunggyu had spite back playfully, but Woohyun didn’t even care when he’d just continued.

“Did you know that the One I’m waiting for also happens to be a ? And they even have lips! Oh, and I especially like those very little eyes they have, you know? They’re just so adorable, don’t you think?” Woohyun had said with the greasiest grin he’d ever conjured up, sending a wink over while the stretch of his lips only widening when he’d managed to see the way Sunggyu’s skin had heated up in a blushing mess.

“Yah!” The elder had squeaked embarrassed, pleasant knots forming and filling his stomach at the sweet melody of Woohyun’s laughter before he had heard the click of a door. That was probably the sound of his dinner in the making then.

So hey there! Here's the promised update! I'm sorry it took so long, but I wasn't satisfied with how it turned out (still not satisfied tho), but here I am, still posting it because I'm deprived of your love! I apologise too if you found some mistakes here and there, i'm running out of time actually because my sister's wedding is so damn close now.

And oh, btw, the story is most probably ending in another five chapters so look forward for the answers to all our mysteries! And I've also read your theories, some are close, but not close enough, I guess. hehehe but I still love them anyway! 

Do drop some comments or upvotes! They motivate me to write! (It's my writer's inspiration)