I couldn’t stay oblivious anymore, I refused. Curiosity was gnawing at me, craving for answers.

Jaejoong went back to sleep after I had rocked him in my arms. It took him a half on hour just to close his eyes. Before he slumbered, he repeatedly whispered my name. I pitied him, I really did.

My instincts told me that this nightmare of his was lined up with my previous flashbacks, especially the gruesome part of them.

I snuck out of bed, tiptoeing my feet onto the wooden grounds. I hoped not to make a sound as I twisted the doorknob. I trotted to the hallway, taking a deep breath.

Soon, I descended down the staircase, gripping on the handle tightly.

Approaching the laptop on the coffee table, my heart surged, fastening its pace.

This laptop belonged to Jaejoong. I know I’m not supposed to use it, but I had no choice. It was the only method to garner information. My phone was currently charging and I had no desire to conduct research with it.

My shaking hands lifted the laptop, causing the screen to flicker to life.

Damn, there was a password.

I typed the possible passcodes I could come up with, resulting in sore fingertips and a fried brain. How was I supposed to seek for answers now?

Yunho

-Password Incorrect-

1234

-Password Incorrect-

Peltingrain

-Welcome-

I let out a gasp, surprised of myself.

I was greeted with a desktop background of a big, oak tree, rested on the hilltops. Soon, I hovered my mouse over to the internet browser, and commenced my search.

Jung Min Ho Jung Food Association house fire

Thousands of results popped up, leaving me with lots of options.

2006

Charges Dropped Against Teenage Boy Who Allegedly Started House Fire

Victim of house fire Jung Min-Ho have dropped charges against a teenage boy accused of starting a massive house fire, which resulted in the death of his wife and damaged property. The charges carried a maximum sentence of five years in jail and more than ten billion won in crimes.

In the court papers released last week, the prosecutors dropped the charges in favor of Jung Min Ho’s request to drop the case. Judge Kim Byung Woo on Monday finally decided dismissed the charges.

The teenage boy was facing an indictment that consisted of intentionally starting a house fire. Police state that the fire started after the boy-

“Yunho...yah...”

Startled by his voice, I closed the browser and immediately slammed the laptop.

“Jaejoong...” I said, standing up. “What are you...doing in the middle of the night?”

 “I’m...taking my medicine,” he said, reaching for the cabinet. “You should go back to sleep...it’s cold without you...”

“I will...” I croaked. “But Jaejoong, are you okay?” I asked, eyeing the medicine in his hands.

“I’m fine,” he replied, gulping the glass of water.

Shards of glass clattered onto the ground, making me wince.

“!!”

“Jaejoong!!” I yelled, running to him.

He crouched down, picking up the pieces with his hands.

“Are you crazy?! Why are you picking it up with your hands?! You’re gonna hurt yourself!!” I yelled, grabbing his wrist.

“I...I’m sorry,” he croaked, his eyes on the ground. “I’m an idiot.”

“You’re...you’re not an idiot...just get out of this spot...and I’ll clean this whole thing for you...okay?”

He nodded and stood from the ground.

“Your fingers,” I said, leading him to the couch. “Your finger Is bleeding.”

“It...it is?” he stammered, sitting on the cushion.

“Yes,” I said. “Let me heal it for you.”

I knew it wasn’t the most sanitary thing to do, but I had no choice as I on the tip of his finger. The distinctive, metal taste of blood seeps into my mouth as I coat his fingers with saliva.

“Why...why are you crying?” I asked, looking up.

“I’m dumb.”

“No...no you’re not Jaejoong, why are you saying that? It was...was an accident.” I said, reassuring him as I the back of his head.

“Who...who drops...glass...like that?” he asked as tears spilled.

“Lots...lots of people do. Not just you.”

~

“Jaejoong.”

“Yeah?” he asked, looking up from his bowl.

“You seem distracted. Are you okay?” I asked, raising my brows.

“Me? I’m fine,” he clarified.

Due to a slip of his hands, the spoon clatters onto the ground. “.”

He arched my back to the ground and grabbed the spoon, soon returning to his previous posture.

For the following days, Jaejoong’s behavior took a slight change, initiating his strange mannerisms.

For the whole morning, he’s been in a daze, seeming totally unaware of his surroundings.

He’s been dropping things often, mixing things up, wearing clothes inside out, stuttering his words, as if a part of his brain was taken away. He was no longer a person of his own, but a shell.

I looked out the window, one spoon in hand as I fed myself the rice. Somewhat the rice tasted bland, its texture too soft and mushy. Did I cook the rice right?

Our breakfast remained wordless, leaving the silence unbothered.

~

“Oh, Yunho...you go first,” Jaejoong insisted, stepping away from the bathroom door.

“Oh...no...you can go ahead,” I said, eyeing the towel in his hands. “Are you taking a shower?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“Oh...okay...well, I can just go to the other washroom to do my business...”

“Okay... you do... that.”

Soon, he entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

This was the perfect opportunity to find uncover something.

Jaejoong was around me all the time, witnessing my every move. It’s not like I grew tired of it, I was accustomed to it. But it prevented me from doing what I needed to do.

It’s been two days since I’ve read that article, and waiting for another clarification killed me. I must know the truth now. Even if it’s small, or big, anything could suffice.

Maybe his recorder could explain things. But where did he hide it?

I turned from the door, sighting my surroundings. To my inconvenience, this room had enough compartments to hide thousands of things.

Stepping towards the bed, I stooped down, peering underneath the frame.

Sounds of trickling water were to be heard, indicating the start of Jaejoong’s shower. Taking that to consideration, I had to quicken my game of hide and seek. My heart increased by a tenfold, envisioning Jaejoong’s anger if he happens to catches me committing such act.

Taking a deep exhale, I pounced my hand on the floors, hoping I could on something. My hands remained free as it hovered through nothingness.

Giving up on hope, I stood from the ground, stepping towards the drawers. I pulled each compartment, digging my hands through the neat pile of clothes. Sinking my hands onto the bottom, nothing could be picked up but dust.

I pushed the drawers back into its previous positions, soon moving towards the closet. I flung the doors open, unveiling a rack of hung jackets. One side was my jacket, and the other his. I shoved my hands through his pockets, in hopes to feel an object.

A sharp, glossy edge poked against the tip of my fingers. Curious of what it was, I drew the thin object out. In my hands was the back side of a photograph. The corners were burnt, its brown, crunched edges apparent.

My breath hitched as I flipped the picture, shocked of its nature.

It was a picture dated in 2006, stated by the orange print in the corner. The picture was of me and Jaejoong kissing behind a shop window. Our faces were quite blurry, but still distinguishable. One could tell this picture was dated by our outdated hair styles and younger looking faces. My instincts told me this was a picture taken without our permission, judging from its peculiar angle and the blurry quality.

Who took this image of us? Did Jaejoong hide this in his pocket? But then why would he?

I traced back my memories, remembering his mention of photographs within his nightmare.

“No Yunho...it really happened! It really did! And I’m so scared...that man...he’s out to get me!! He’s always out to get me!!  The pictures!! That’s why he did it!! That’s why he planted it in my hands!!!”

Did this picture play a part of our separation? Did someone stalk us back then?

If a picture like this leaked, it could ruin one’s life. Especially ours.

My conscience told me not to steal this picture, knowing it was theft and an invasion of privacy. But playing nice wasn’t my main concern; finding answers were.

I was tired of being stupid and clueless. I had to get the bottom of this, no matter what.

There were all sorts of pictures you could imagine of in this little camera. Jaejoong and I kissing, making out, making love...our hands on each other’s parts, our hands linking...all of it taken without our knowledge.

“Did....did you send this to my father??” I asked, holding the camera up.

“That explains the wad of cash in my hands...”

To my horror, the door knob twisted, causing me to slam the closet door on an impulse. I slid the picture in my back pocket, hoping Jaejoong wouldn’t see it in my hands.

“Were you waiting for the bathroom?” he asked.

“No...I wasn’t. I just wanted...to wait for you. That’s all.”

God, he looked so beautiful. Although this wasn’t the situation to fawn over him, I couldn’t help myself.

Despite his frail looking body, nothing could stop my arousal. A white towel was wrapped around his hips, leaving his torso unhidden. He ruffled his fingers in his damp hair, trying to get the water out. I inhaled deeply, trying not to lose control.

“Oh, I see...”

“Yunho I want to walk.”

“Where?” I asked.

“I want to go cafe.” he said in imperfect Korean.

~

“Ow!”

“Jaejoong!”

A large thud occurred, causing me to turn around. Jaejoong was on the ground, his chin propped on the concrete, his arms sprawled out.

My heart wretched the pitiful sight in front of me as blood seeped from Jaejoong’s chin. I stooped to the ground, getting a hold of his wrist. “Are you okay?”

“Ye...yeah...” he nodded, his limbs trembling. “I...I didn’t...see...the crack...” he said, pointing to the indent on the sidewalk.

“Your chin...it’s bleeding,” I said, touching the blood with my fingers. “Let’s...let’s go home.”

“No!” he cried, jerking his arm away from my grasp. “I want...to go to the café...”

For some reason, his speech pattern seemed strange. Like a toddler uttering its first words. “Let’s get up.”

“I want to go..up myself,” he said, placing a foot on the ground.

My worries were reaching its highest peak as Jaejoong stood up. His shoulders were hunched, reeking of uncertainty and reluctance.

Was his sickness getting the best of him? Was this the next stage? Please don’t do this to me God, please. Let him stay for a li