Day XXXI

I turned for the umpteenth time on my bed, but it was useless I just couldn't sleep at all.

I reached for my phone, immediately dialing her number.

"Taeng?"

I froze, realizing what I had just done as all of the memories with you flooded my mind.

"What's wrong?"

My hand trembled, as I felt the tears flowing down my cheeks, I was crying.

I heard her let out a soft sigh, before I heard something shut, probably her laptop. "Hey, it's okay."

"S-Sica, I'm sorry I--"

"I know Taeng, I know."

I gripped on the sheets as I heard her humming to a calm melody. She continued doing it until I calmed down and stopped crying, I even thought she already hung up because of the long silence but she didn't, she was still there.

"Whatever happens, I'll be here for you, Taeyeon." My eyebrows furrowed at her tone, it changed to a serious one but still calm. "I know things have changed a lot and I know you're having a hard time adjusting to it but it's okay, it will be okay. I'll be here for you just like how you were there for me when... the whole world turned against me." She paused, referring to the time she was forced to leave the group.

"I love you Kim Taeyeon and I'll always be here to protect you, cherish you and take care of you. So please, you're only hurting yourself, you idiot." I heard her sniff from the other line, and it was like someone was squeezing my heart very tightly.

"I know you're scared that I might suddenly disappear but I won't, I won't ever leave your side. And maybe you're confused yourself of what you're feeling towards me, you think you're in love with me but it's not love at all, Taeyeon-ah." Her sobs got louder but I couldn't say anything, it was like the words I needed to say were stuck on my throat.

"Maybe you do love me but it's not romantically, you only love me as a friend, a member, a sister,

And maybe--just maybe---you're only in lo