six. baby steps

With tearful steps, I walk toward you. I wait for the day that I will touch your heart, for the day you will hold me in your embrace - TTS "Baby Steps"

~~~

Sana avoided her eyes and her cheeks started to heat up. Although Tzuyu was still at least half a foot away from her, Sana felt like she was just about to kiss her. She backed away, but Tzuyu held her back to her spot and wrapped her thin arms around her tiny frame. She closed her eyes, hoping that Sana would somehow hug her back. But she didn't.

"Please... let's stay like this for awhile."

Sana held her breath, feeling all sorts of emotions at the moment. Part of her felt confused and another felt disbelief. For a second, she even doubted that everything was a dream. She slightly rose her hands in an attempt to hug her back, but she suddenly stopped in realization. She doesn't love this girl. 

I can't keep her hopes up like this, Sana thought in guilt. She pushed her away, but the guilt didn't disappear. Especially now, after seeing Tzuyu's heartbroken eyes, she felt crushed. Her conscience wasn't letting her be. 

"I'm sorry, Tzuyu. I only think of you as a friend... even back then when Mina and I were still together." Sana awkwardly confessed. The taller girl just hung her head low in embarrassment. She should have listened to Mina. She should have found out why they broke up before confessing her love. She closed her eyes shut for about two seconds before nodding.

"I understand, I always will..." She muttered under her breath. Suddenly she felt the girl in front of her come closer. She wasn't expecting the older girl to hug her, but when she did... everything felt so right. Everything felt different, like a fresh crisp breeze on a humid August day. She sighed, mustering up the courage to ask the one question she had on her mind the entire time.

"Why did you break up with Mina unnie?"

Sana paused and slowly let go of the younger girl. bobbed up and down as she nervously avoided eye contact. She bit her lip, trying to find a way out of this. 

"It isn't your business to deal with," She quickly replied, turning away. Tzuyu didn't hold her back. She just stared at her back figure and nodded even though the girl could no longer see her, "You're right. It isn't my business... but ever since I chose to care for you, it became a concern to me. I care for you, Sana. If you can't love me, at least let me love you."

~~~

Tzuyu went back to the dorm, spaced out as usual. Mina was in her bed when suddenly a wandering Yoda appeared.

She chuckled and shook her head, "I know what that look means..." She sat upright and started to make her way to the door, where Tzuyu remained standing. She cupped her face, slightly tiptoeing to match her height. 

She tilted her head curiously while the younger girl just gave her an incomprehensible look.

Tzuyu took Mina's hands off of her chin and walked into the room, worrying Mina more than she should.

The older girl in the room frowned, "Tzuyu, is something wrong?"

The latter climbed into her top bunk and lay on her bed, feeling envious of Mina as each second passed by. She knew it wasn't right to be angry at Mina since it wasn't her fault, but there was a heavy feeling in her chest whenever she saw Mina's smile. Her first love fell hard for that smile. That smile is the reason why she could never steal Sana's heart away.

"Did you get rejected?" Mina asked again persistently, not seeming to get the point.

Tzuyu was facing the wall and she refused to turn around. She closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. Deep inside, she knew that holding grudges against her closest friend wasn't rational, but she couldn't help it. It's like seeing your role model being admired by the one person you wanted to receive love from. 

She heard footsteps approach her bed. Her top bunk was like a room almost, with her bed placed in the upper right corner and the rest of the space occupied by a closet and table next to her bed. Mina slightly crouched in order to prevent hitting her head on the slanted wall above her. She sat on the opposite edge of where Tzuyu was lying down and contemplated upon waking her up. Her gut instinct told her that Tzuyu was still awake.

"Tzuyu, I'm not sure if you're awake but... if you are, I want you to know that you deserve to be loved. It's not a bad thing to be rejected you know. It actually helps a lot... Being rejected reminds you that you're not perfect and it'll take the right person to accept that. She will accept your imperfections and you'll realize why everything in the past couldn't work,"

"...That's all I have to say." Mina ended it with that and left. As she closed the lights, Tzuyu bit her lower lip, trying to conceal the tears that continuously flowed in the dark.

~~~

"Good morning, Tzuyu!" Mina grinned, her smile brighter than usual today. Tzuyu automatically assumed that it was due to the fact of today being a Saturday. She squinted her eyes drowsily with a smile, "Good morning..." She softly greeted back, still not completely awake.

Mina smiled, nodding before turning back around to remove the last pancake from the pan. Once she did so, she unexpectedly felt a pair of arms circle her waist. Tzuyu's chin rested on her right shoulder and she smiled, shaking her head at how adorable the maknae was acting.

"Glad you're much brighter today," Mina pointed out bluntly, but almost immediately after she said that her he